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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918173">FRERARD ONESHOTS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyMess/pseuds/HeavenlyMess'>HeavenlyMess</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frank Iero and the Future Violents (Band), Frank Iero and the Patience, LeATHERMØUTH, My Chemical Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys in Skirts, Frerard, Kid Fic, Light BDSM, M/M, oneshots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:28:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>105,563</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23918173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavenlyMess/pseuds/HeavenlyMess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>just a bunch of frerard one-shots cause why not</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Frank Iero/Gerard Way</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>336</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>200</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Field Trip to the Museum</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>AU where Frank is a history teacher, and Gerard works at the museum</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I hate children, I hate children, I hate children.<br/>
Now why did I decide to be a teacher?<br/>
Oh, yeah. I wasn’t doing any money as a writer.<br/>
So now I have to put up with dozens of preteens, screaming in my ear, running around a school bus on our way to the museum.<br/>
Kill me.<br/>
‘How you doing over there, buddy?’ Mrs. Chandler says to me. She’s the other teacher in charge of this field trip. She used to be my teacher, too. That’s how old she is. So us chaperoning this trip together is weird, especially when she keeps talking to me as if I’m one of the students.<br/>
‘I’m good,’ I reply, despite looking like shit. I barely slept last night because I was writing. Or more like, I tried writing, but I was on my phone, and playing with my dog. ‘So, is it always like this?’ I ask her.<br/>
She just laughs. Is she laughing at me?<br/>
I take a deep breath, reminding myself that I shouldn’t be planning on murdering children, and hope we get to the museum, soon. </p><p>***</p><p>The Monroeville Museum of Art.<br/>
I’ve only been here a couple times in my whole life, the last time being when I was these kids’ age, so I don’t remember any of it. But I’m their history teacher, and Mrs. Chandler signed me up for this trip, so I had no choice.<br/>
‘Hey - you - ’ I still don’t know how to be a professional and keep wanting to call them motherfucker, or assholes ever since I started teaching, so I have to bite my tongue every time. ‘Listen to me, if one of you doesn’t behave we’re all going to return to the school, and I’ll make sure you never go on a field trip again in your lifetime.’ At least they’re afraid of me. Mrs. Chandler reads them the rules again, and tells them to form a line to get off the bus. ‘Remember guys,’ I tell them as we start to walk in. ‘You break it, you pay it. And it ain’t cheap.’<br/>
Since this is my first field trip as a teacher, Mrs. Chandler is in charge of checking in with the museum staff, while I hand out brochures to the kids.<br/>
The first floor is all about Modern Art, so Mrs. Chandler, being the art teacher in this equation, is in charge of the students, while I stay a little behind, making sure no one wanders around.<br/>
I’m not a huge fan of art, other than written and music, so I’m starting to get bored back here. I take a seat in the main hallway, and check my phone. Dry as usual, but it’d would be really irresponsible of me to start playing games. Of course, I’m playing Sudoku on the job.<br/>
Until I notice two people standing not so far away from where I’m sitting, talking about – I don’t know what they’re talking about. But the guy talking catches my attention. He’s wearing a gray sweatshirt and has long hair and beard, and yet manages to look gorgeous as hell. Okay, maybe it’s just the sunlight coming in this way and making everything look beautiful. But no, he absolutely is.<br/>
Shit, I looked for too long.<br/>
I’m back on my phone, when I finally see Mrs. Chandler coming this way. That means we’re heading to the Egypt exhibition, so that’s my cue. ‘C’mon this way,’ I tell the kids, and lead them to the main exhibition room at the end of the hallway. We walk by where the man in the hoodie is, and either I’m hallucinating, or he smirks at me. I do a double take and turn around, and he winks at me. Fuck. Control yourself!<br/>
I somehow manage to focus on my job, and give my students a history lesson without thinking about that gorgeous man, and I don’t know if it’s the coffee, or the wink that put me in a good mood but I don’t feel like yelling at them for once.<br/>
Before we head to the second floor, Mrs. Chandler says it’s time for lunch, so we all head out to the cafeteria in the main area. I help her sort the cheap sandwiches and juice among the students, and then go get another coffee myself. When I’m about to pay, someone approaches the cashier lady, and tells her not to worry. ‘Put it on my tab, Eleanor. It’s on me.’ And oh surprise, it’s the gorgeous man in the gray hoodie. Except now, he’s wearing even more layers and scarfs, and a beanie, and he looks so huggable. ‘Hey, there,’ he says to me, and I’m still a little confused. I’m just lucky there’s a wall that separates the café area from the main cafeteria because I don’t want my students seeing this.<br/>
‘Thank you. You didn’t have to do this,’ is all I manage to say.<br/>
‘I know. But it was the only way I could think of saying something.’ He gets himself a hazelnut latte, just like mine. ‘I saw you looking earlier.’<br/>
Fuck. I was way too obvious.<br/>
‘Nothing wrong.’ There’s silence and he leads me to a table nearby. ‘I’m Gerard, by the way. I work here at the museum.’<br/>
‘I’m Frank,’ I say shaking his hand. Is he like trying to offer me a job or what is happening?<br/>
‘You’re a teacher?’<br/>
I nod. ‘History teacher.’<br/>
‘You seem to be having a lot of fun, huh?’<br/>
‘Is it that obvious?’<br/>
He nods, and starts to lean in, and before I know it, his lips are on mine, his beard scratching the corner of my mouth. Fuck, I love this too much. He tastes like hazelnut coffee, obviously, and that makes everything even better. ‘Just thought I’d get it over with,’ he says.<br/>
And I know this is too forward, but fuck I need it. And he already slipped his tongue in my mouth five minutes after introducing himself, so what the hell? It’s not like we’re ever gonna see each other again. And my students – and former teacher and coworker – are standing merely feet away. But I just need ten minutes. I think I deserve it. ‘Where’s the bathroom?’ I ask.<br/>
He points to his left, so I get up and pull him by the arm, but he pulls me the other way around, straight through a door that says Employees Only. There’s a long hallway and we go through another door that reads Employee's Restroom. It’s a single one, so we’re not risking anyone coming in. ‘I just wanna say,’ I tell him, his hands already on my hips, pulling me in. ‘I don’t do this often. Or more like – never.’<br/>
‘Me neither.’ And still, he pushes me to the wall, as his tongue literally attacks me, which I welcome with a gasp. I help him take off his many layers, while he unzips my jeans. It all happens too fast. His hands are under my shirt one second, and the next, he’s on his knees, with my dick in his mouth. And honestly, I couldn’t care less if he does this often or not, all I care I how he’s doing it to me. I throw away his beanie, and pull his hair, while he’s down there, and I hear him moan.<br/>
This is more fun than I thought.<br/>
When I finally come – it doesn’t take long –, he kisses the rest of my body, and though I’d love to reciprocate, I realize I’ve been away for too long. ‘I gotta go,’ I say, putting on my clothes, and helping him with his. ‘I’m sorry. Mrs. Chandler must be worried about my whereabouts. I don’t want to get in trouble.’<br/>
‘I understand,’ he says, and then kisses me.<br/>
‘Thanks – for everything.’ I can’t help smiling, for real. I’ve never done anything this adventurous in my whole life. I know, that’s lame, I know, but I didn’t come out until later in my life, and I’m not the kind of person who has one-night stands. So I liked this.<br/>
He leads me back to the cafeteria, and before I join them, he calls me. ‘You forgot your coffee.’ And hands it to me with a wink.<br/>
‘Where were you?’ Mrs. Chandler asks me.<br/>
‘Sorry. I ran into an old friend while getting coffee, and we were talking. I lost track of time.’ I just hope my hair isn’t messy enough to give me away.<br/>
I then take a sip of coffee - hazelnut lattes will now have a different meaning for me - and notice a scribble on my paper cup. A phone number, and it’s signed. Gerard <br/>
I smile so big, I’m sure Mrs. Chandler and Jackie Martinez, the girl sitting next to me, notice.<br/>
Soon after, we go upstairs and I do my best to remain calm and not get excited because I just got a guy’s number.<br/>
An hour or two later, we’re getting on the bus. I made it without killing any of my students, I think I can call that an achievement. I count them again, to make sure everyone’s here, and just as I’m going back to my seat, I hear one of them calling me. ‘Mr. Iero!’ It’s Jackie. She barely talks, so I’m surprised she has a question. ‘Your friend is out there.’ I turn to my right, and see Gerard waving from the sidewalk, smiling at me.<br/>
I wave back, and as the engine starts, they all yell, ‘Bye, Mr. Iero’s boyfriend!’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Biggest Fan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Frank sees this new band live for the first time, and immediately falls for the singer, and he seems to like him too. Except Frank has a little secret - not so secret -</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He made it to the venue at eight thirty, missing half the first band’s set.<br/>
He sat by the back, drinking a beer one of his buddies got for him, and just sat to watch the show. He didn’t know the opening band, or any of the ones that were playing that night, but just like every Friday night, Frank would go and see the bands play, hang out, drink and distract himself. Usually by himself. He didn’t have any college friends, his friends were his former bandmates and people from the scene. So even though he couldn’t be in a band at the moment because he had to focus on school, he tried to still go support his friends.<br/>
But that didn’t mean he didn’t make any new ones.  Though his way of making friends usually involved being really drunk, and sticking his tongue in another guy’s mouth behind the merch table. Sometimes being on his knees inside a restroom stall. But wasn’t that the whole college experience?<br/>
By the time he walked out of the restroom with whatever his name was there was another band playing. One he’d never heard of. The guitarist had a big afro, and there was a nerdy kid playing bass. But the one who really got his attention was the singer. His hair covered half his face, jet black and sweaty, and he looked wasted as fuck. Yet for some reason he couldn’t stop looking at him. And he could swear by the end of the set, the singer looked straight at him.<br/>
And so, he kept coming every weekend. He couldn’t remember for the life of him what was the name of the band. Something about chemicals? So he didn’t miss a chance to see them.<br/>
And every time, he noticed the singer looking at him, or even waving at him. But Frank didn’t dare to go say hi to him.<br/>
Not today, he said to himself. That day he was wearing jean shorts on top of fishnet tights, his Doc Martens and a black hoodie. He was also wearing eyeshadow. Nothing flashy, but noticeable enough. No, he was not a cross-dresser, and he wasn’t trans either, or non-binary. That was the thing. He didn’t know how to explain it, he didn’t understood it himself. It started like an experiment for a school paper, and ended up in him wearing dresses and makeup sometimes, just because.<br/>
The following week, though, they had a show at a different venue in town, and obviously Frank was there. And fortunately he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and no makeup, because when the set was over, and he was getting a beer with a couple new friends he had made, he saw a very familiar guy standing barely inches from him. It was the lead singer, Gerard – he knew now, after seeing them so many times. His face was covered with his sweaty hair, but that and his old leather jacket was enough to recognize him. Frank tried his best not to fangirl in front of him, so he kept drinking his beer. ‘It’s you!’ Frank heard, and almost choked, before turning around. ‘You always come to our shows. Mikey calls you our biggest fan.’<br/>
Frank’s face went completely red, and didn’t know what to say.<br/>
‘I can’t believe you came all the way here to see us.’<br/>
Frank nodded, still in shock.<br/>
‘I’m Gerard, by the way.’<br/>
Frank knew, but he didn’t admit it. ‘I’m Frank.’ Don’t embarrass yourself, idiot, he told himself.<br/>
They talked for a while, mainly Gerard asking him what he thought of their new song, or Frank asking where the next show was going to be. ‘I didn’t see you last week, by the way,’ Gerard said.<br/>
‘I was there,’ he replied, doing his best attempt not to blush.<br/>
‘Then why didn’t I see you?’<br/>
‘Maybe you didn’t look right… or you’re going blind.’ Frank couldn’t help smiling at his own bad joke. Then, they kept talking about music, and the bands they liked, before Frank noticed it was late and he had to go.<br/>
‘Will I see you again?’ Gerard mumbled.<br/>
Frank knew he was way too drunk and that was why he was looking at him like that, but it was nice nonetheless.  ‘Maybe.’<br/>
A couple weeks after, he almost thought about changing out of his black sporty dress before leaving for the concert, but he was already late. He didn’t even have time to put on makeup, other than eyeliner. It wasn’t like he was going to talk to Gerard again. He’d rather not miss the set. Yes, he had a massive crush on him, and his chances were nonexistent, but he also enjoyed the music.<br/>
The band was second to last, and by now, they had more fans, and people were singing their songs. And Frank was there, in the middle of the pit. When the set ended, he almost ran out of the building, hoping Gerard didn’t see him. Except it was already too late.<br/>
He ran into Frank by the back door. Gerard did a double take, not sure it was him. ‘I thought I was just seeing things, but it’s you.’<br/>
Frank stopped on his tracks. His stomach turned, and he felt like throwing up. He didn’t know why it made him so nervous that Gerard saw him like this. He usually just showed up everywhere like this, and didn’t think twice about what people thought. If they said something mean, he knew they weren’t worth it. If they had questions, he tried to answer them the best he could. But for some reason, Gerard made him feel like he had to explain himself. He didn’t want him to see him like a freak. He didn’t know why Gerard’s opinion mattered so much to him. So he just nodded, and waited for the worst to come. He just hoped he’d just walk away and never talk to him again, instead of yelling at him. That would hurt a fucking lot. ‘You look nice,’ Gerard said. Frank finally looked up, his eyes looking like he was about to cry, and a smile formed on his face. ‘Different, but nice.’<br/>
‘Thank you.’<br/>
The two of them went outside to smoke, mostly in silence, Gerard just looking at Frank every now and then. ‘Just say it. Whatever you’re gonna say,’ Frank told him.<br/>
‘I’m not –’<br/>
‘Don’t lie. You think I don’t know people give me weird looks for this? You think I don’t know if someone is looking at me like he has something to say?’ Gerard’s look turned serious. ‘Just say it. If you have any questions, ask. I prefer honesty, even if you spit on my face.’<br/>
‘Fine. I understand.’ Gerard took a minute or two to think what he was going to say.  He didn’t to sound rude or like he was judging him. He just had questions. ‘Are you like trans – or –?’<br/>
‘No.’ That was usually the first thing people asked, so he was used to. ‘I identify as male.’<br/>
‘Can I ask why, then?’<br/>
He nodded. ‘It’s kind of a complicated story, and I get if you’re weirded out. I don’t get it myself sometimes.’ He took a breath, not sure how to explain it. He hadn’t really told anybody else this, other than the I just like to wear dresses, okay? ‘Last year in school I had to write this paper on social constructs, okay? So I just thought why not do it about how women can wear pants and shorts, but it’s not okay for men to wear skirts or dresses? But I’m a dumbass and I did a whole experiment about it. With the help of my friend, I’d go out in public in a dress, and see people’s reactions. I’d interview some of them, some would literally yell at me that I was a creep. Some wouldn’t give a shit, some wouldn’t talk to me while wearing a dress. We did the experiment for about two weeks, going out to public places, seeing people’s reaction. And after I turned in my paper, I kept doing it, just for fun. But I got away with it, because I could punch them in the face if they said something rude. And I kinda liked that power. And I kinda liked how it made me feel. Sometimes I’d let my friend put on some makeup on me. And long story short, I still do it sometimes.’<br/>
‘So you just wake up one day and feel like, today it’s a dress kind of day?’<br/>
‘No – it’s like when you go to your closet and see a shirt you like and feel like wearing it that day for no other reason that you like it, and how it looks on you.’<br/>
‘Okay.’ Gerard just stayed quiet for a moment, taking long drags of his cigarette. ‘Well – it does look good on you.’ Frank laughed, blushing.<br/>
After every show of the band for the next two weeks, they would go out for a smoke and talk. Most days Frank showed up in jeans and a hoodie, but Gerard was just as perplexed by his beauty. So much that he just threw himself at him and kissed him, out of nowhere. Frank noticed he reeked of sweat so much he couldn’t even smell the alcohol in his breath, but he had wanted it for so long he didn’t care. ‘I’m gonna take you on a date, just like you deserve,’ Gerard said.<br/>
‘Do you have any money?’ He didn’t, and the only placed open after midnight was the dinner two blocks away, anyway, so he took him there. They only ordered milkshakes, and talked about sci-fi movies.<br/>
The next day, Frank showed up in a yellow summer dress and converse, and they got so drunk after the set they made out in the rest room, and Frank invited him over to his dorm room, but they both fell asleep as soon as their heads touched the pillows. Frank slept in, missing his first class that morning, but his hangover was so bad he wouldn’t make it anyway. Instead, he and Gerard stayed in bed all day, watching movies and making out, and he convinced him to take a shower. Gerard convinced him to wear another dress that day as a payback. It was a green one, very casual and loose, short on the front, long in the back. He also wore makeup, and they went out on their second date to a taco truck outside the campus. While they ate, someone in line yelled ‘Those fucking fa –,’ while they were kissing, but Frank didn’t even let him finish the sentence before he walked up to him and punch him in the mouth, and then kept punching him when he was on the floor.<br/>
‘Just remember next time you say stuff like that, that a guy in a dress beat the fuck out of you,’ Frank said, and ran to join Gerard.<br/>
That night, Gerard stayed over at Frank’s room again, and as they were falling asleep, cuddling each other, Frank asked him, ‘You wanna be my boyfriend?’<br/>
Gerard just smiled. ‘I thought I already was.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. She’s the Prettiest Girl at the Party, And She Can Prove It with a Solid Right Hook [The Biggest Fan #2]</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Part 2 of The Biggest Fan</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Thanks, guys, for coming! We never thought we'd release another album, but here we are!' Gerard said to their audience. They were playing at Vintage Vinyl to celebrate, and Frank was cheering for them by the side stage.</p><p>'So, thank you again!' Gerard continued. 'Also today there's another reason to celebrate. That motherfucker over there who I'm lucky enough to call my boyfriend just graduated from college and he's now a fucking psychology major.' The entire audience cheered, as the chords of the next song started. 'Love you, Frankie!'</p><p>After the show, as usual, Eyeball threw a party for them somewhere outside the city. It was a big house, none of the guys knew whose house it was, but it'd end up in pieces no matter what. By the time the band made it, it was already crowded, and they were already drunk as hell.</p><p>Everyone wanted to hang out with each of them, especially Gerard, but all he wanted was to hang out with Frank, and maybe sneak in one of the room and celebrate on their own. 'It's okay, babe,' he told Gerard. 'They're all so proud of you. I am proud of you. Just remember who was your first fan, okay?' he kissed him before he let him go, and sat with another band he knew, seeing Gerard walking away.</p><p>Some time later, when he hadn't come back, he went out to smoke, and that's when Gerard saw him. He was even drunker than before, but Frank tried not to cause a scene. He knew it was a special night for him, that he deserved to celebrate, but he was drinking more and more every time, and Frank was starting to get worried. 'There he is!' Gerard announced, and out of nowhere, produced a plastic tiara, and a rose, and proceeded to crown Frank with the tiara. 'My princess Frankie.' Frank smiled at the nickname. 'I'm so proud of you.'</p><p>'Thank you,' he said between kisses. Frank still didn't know what he was going to do with his degree. As for now, he just wanted to enjoy some free time and go on tour with the band, hoping they'd let him be a roadie in exchange for sleeping with their singer.</p><p>The party continued, and Gerard kept drinking until he couldn't even walk. Frank knew it was time to take him home – they had finally moved in to their own apartment together –, and he was getting up from his seat to help him get up, when he heard a rando laughing and calling Gerard a useless addict, and making bets about how long it'll be before the band ended or he died. Frank did his best to not show his anger, and helped Gerard to the couch, and then walked back to where the guy was, and punched him in the face, managing to keep his princess crown on. <br/><br/><br/></p><p>*</p><p>Ray drove them home, since neither of them were in their right mind to drive. As soon as they made it, Gerard got ice for Frank's knuckles and face – the other guy punched him back –, and a washcloth to clean the dried blood. 'You know you don't have to defend me every time, right?' he told him.</p><p>'Of course I do.' Frank flinched as Gerard washed his face.</p><p>'No, you don't. I don't want them hurting you every time!'</p><p>'But you didn't hear what they said!'</p><p>'I don't care about that! But I care about your face, and it's too pretty to get hurt.' He pressed a kiss to Frank's lips, and then followed by kissing his jaw where that guy had punched him. a minute later, he was taking Frank's shirt off, and unzipping his pants. 'I wanted to make this night special for you. I'm so sorry I ruined it,' Gerard whispered in his neck.</p><p>'You didn't ruin anything.'</p><p>'But I did. I got so wasted, and you got beat up –'</p><p>'Stop it!' Frank said, grabbing his head between both his hands. 'You didn't ruin anything. You had just as much a right to celebrate. You're a fucking rock star, and I'm going to defend you no matter what. Now, fuck me, because you already got me started –'<br/><br/><br/></p><p>*</p><p>They'd been on the road for almost a week, Frank not used to the who routine yet. One thing had been being the lead singer's boyfriend, just hanging out. But now he was expected to do soundchecks, have guitars ready, check on venues and other stuff. And he was actually starting to like it, though he would give everything to actually be onstage playing. <em>One day, </em>he said to himself.</p><p>In the meantime, he and Gerard went for breakfast at a dinner, and then stopped at a thrift store. They both needed extra clothes, and were a little short of cash. Gerard grabbed two pairs of jeans, while Frank took a couple t-shirts and a red skirt. It was hard to wear dresses while on tour because they're not as comfortable or practical when you have to carry gear from and to the van, also he couldn't carry a lot of clothes on the bus. But he missed it, feeling pretty. 'Hey,' he said, calling Gerard who was still looking through the racks. 'At what time you play today?' He should know, he was part of the crew now.</p><p>'Eight. Why?'</p><p>'You wanna go on a date? I mean, before the –'</p><p>'Are you fucking kidding me?' Gerard replied. 'How could I say no to a date with you?'</p><p>'Fine, then. Meet me at the diner at five.'</p><p>After soundcheck, Frank managed to convince the drummer of one of the other bands – the headliners, who were staying at a hotel – to use his bathroom to take a quick shower. He put on the skirt on top of an Iron Maiden t-shirt and then his jean jacket. He skipped the makeup, and chose to just put on a dark red lipstick.</p><p>He had to walk two blocks back to the dinner, so he made it a couple minutes late. When Gerard saw him come in, his jaw dropped, amused at how good Frank looked. 'Sorry I'm late,' he said as he took a seat across from Gerard, and then planted a kiss on his lips. 'You know how hard it is to run down the streets of New York in a skirt?'</p><p>'You look –' Gerard couldn't even think of a word to describe him.</p><p>'I know, right? I missed it.'</p><p>'I missed it too.'</p><p>After dinner, they walked back to the venue, Gerard's arm around Frank's shoulders, showing off his pretty boyfriend. Fifteen minutes before the set, they hooked up in the bathroom, and got out just in time.</p><p>Frank sat in the sound engineer's booth, to watch the show, remembering that first time he saw them, and still felt the same magic. Also he was fucking proud of himself for having got in the lead singer's pants.</p><p>Later, as they cuddled in their bunk bed, Gerard turned to Frank, and out of nowhere, he asked, 'Would you like to join the band? I think we need another guitar player. And you're –'</p><p>Frank interrupted him by kissing him. 'I would love nothing more.'</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Oh Take Me From the Hospital Bed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gerard ends up in the ER after a minor car accident, and meets a tiny grumpy patient</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘What do we got here?’ the doctor asks.<br/>‘Male, twenty-five. Minor car crash,’ the nurse to his side replies, reading from his file. ‘Possible mild brain injury and bone fracture. He’s definitely under the influence.’<br/>‘I’m not even drunk,’ the patient mumbles, and then giggles. The ceiling lamps above him blind him as they take him from the ambulance to the Emergency Room.<br/>‘Sure, buddy,’ the doctor says, filling out some paperwork. They take him to a bed at the very end of a room, only a curtain separating it from the bed next to it. The doctor checks his vitals, a tiny lamp shoots a bright light directly into his dilated pupils. ‘Can you tell me your name?’ the doctor asks.<br/>‘Gerard.’<br/>‘You know what happened?’<br/>‘I – crashed the –’<br/>‘You crashed your car into a tree, yes. And you’re lucky there were no victims, otherwise you’d be in so much trouble.’ He says something to the nurse, but Gerard has no idea what it is. He could be speaking Russian for all he knows. ‘You’re going to stay the night. We’re doing some tests in a couple hours, some X-rays, make sure you’re doing fine.’<br/>‘You are fine,’ Gerard says, as he turns around to leave. He doesn’t realize he said it out loud until he hears the doctor laugh.<br/>The next few hours are the hardest because his arm fucking hurts, and they can’t give him medication yet because of the high levels of alcohol in his system, and he can’t sleep anyway. A nurse comes to bring him a hospital gown, and tells him to change.<br/>As he sobers up, he notices the monitors beeping around him, accompanied by heavy breathing coming from the bed on the other side of the curtain. It’s almost soothing. He follows the pace, and seems to be falling asleep, before the stabbing pain brings him back, causing him to yell.<br/>‘Can you fucking shut up?’ the person on the other side of the curtain says. Their voice hoarse and weak. ‘I’m trying to sleep.’<br/>‘I’m sorry, but it fucking hurts.’<br/>‘Oh – poor you.’<br/>Not long after, the nurse comes back to check on him, and finally gives him a pain killer. ‘It’s gonna take some time to have an effect. We’ll do an X-ray in a bit.’ Gerard just nods, and starts to feel better immediately.<br/>As the nurse told him, they come and take him to get X-rays, and put his left arm in a cast. He’s taken back to the room. ‘We’ll do an MRI scan later today, and you’ll be good to go,’ the nurse tells him. ‘We tried to call your emergency contact earlier, but nobody answer. If you want to call someone, let us know.’<br/>‘I’m okay. My family doesn’t live here.’ It’s not true. But he hasn’t seen them in a while, and he knows they’ll get worried if they find out he got in a crash because he was drinking again. So he’d rather not bother them.<br/>He looks at the clock. It’s just past two a.m. Now that his arm is safe in a cast, and the pain is gone, he tries to get some sleep while they come to check on him again.</p><p>He wakes up to the monitors beeping again, this time in a more alarming tone, followed by a horde of doctors and nurses running to the neighboring bed. Five minutes later, the chaos has calmed down, and there are voices whispering. ‘I’m fine,’ the patient says, and then there’s complete silence.<br/>Except for the muffled sound of someone sobbing.<br/>‘Are – are you okay?’ Gerard can’t help asking.<br/>‘Define okay,’ they respond, sounding even more tired and hoarse than before. It sounds like a male voice, Gerard thinks.<br/>‘I – just – I don’t know if I should call a nurse or what –’<br/>‘Don’t!’ Neither of them talks for a while and Gerard wonders if they’re asleep, until they talk again. ‘Tell me something. Anything.’<br/>Gerard isn’t the best conversationalist. He has trouble making friends or talking in general, especially when sober. But he doesn’t want to be rude with the guy, who knows what he’s going through. ‘Well – I was sober for three months until now, and as soon as I had a drink, I crashed my car on a fucking tree. That’s how lame I am.’<br/>‘That’s not lame. That’s sad.’ He truly sounds sad. ‘Are you okay?’<br/>‘Define okay.’ The other guy laughs at Gerard using the same answer with him. ‘I’m Gerard, by the way.’<br/>‘I’m Frank.’<br/>‘You wanna know what’s actually lame? I didn’t crash because I was drunk. I did because I was getting a blow job.’<br/>‘No way!’ Frank says, laughing. ‘Wait – what happened to the girl?’<br/>‘Guy.’ Gerard knows he shouldn’t be embarrassed, especially not with a stranger. What’s embarrassing is that he doesn’t even remember his name. He had just met him at the bar, and they were heading to his place. ‘He left right away, since he didn’t get hurt or anything.’<br/>‘I’m sorry.’<br/>‘It’s fine. I barely knew him.’ He tries his best to pretend it didn’t hurt, but it helps that Frank is being nice to him. ‘Okay, enough about me. Tell me something embarrassing about yourself, Mr. Wheezy.’<br/>‘I’m peeing.’ They both laugh, and start asking questions back and forth to distract themselves. ‘What’s the first thing you’ll eat when you get home?’<br/>‘Pizza.’<br/>‘You know what I want? Fucking chocolate.’<br/>After a while, Frank manages to get up from bed and draw open the curtain that separates them, so they can see each other. Gerard is surprised by Frank’s appearance. He looks younger than he sounds, or maybe he’s just short. He has very short hair, and an oxygen mask covers most of his face, but he can see his eyes. And they’re the most beautiful shade of hazel he’s seen. ‘Hi,’ Frank says, once he’s taken off the mask.<br/>‘Hi.’ They look at each other for a minute, and Gerard wonders how bad he looks. He’s sure Frank isn’t even gay, so he doesn’t know why he cares, but still. Although, he notices him looking at his crutch area, until he remembers he’s wearing the hospital gown and with the way he’s sitting, Frank can see his underwear. ‘So – can I ask?’ Gerard says, considering it payback for looking at his dick.<br/>‘Collapsed lung.’<br/>‘Oh. I’m sorry.’<br/>‘Don’t be.’<br/>‘Okay.’<br/>‘Keep talking. I’m bored,’ Frank says after a long silence.<br/>‘What do you want me to talk about?’<br/>‘I told you. Anything.’<br/>‘Okay.’ And so, he tells him the plot of a story he’s writing about a group of adopted siblings with emotional trauma.<br/>‘That sounds interesting,’ Frank says. He takes off his mask when he’s talking. ‘Can one of them have the superpower to travel back in time? That shit would be cool.’<br/>‘Totally.’ He doesn’t know what it is, but Frank’s smile is like magic and makes him feel great just by being there in front of him. Even though it’s obvious he’s in pain, he doesn’t let it bother him.<br/>They talk until a nurse comes and forces Frank to rest, even though he doesn’t want to, and just then they take Gerard to take his vitals, before his MRI scan.<br/>When he comes back, Frank’s bed is empty.<br/>He turns to the nurse. He doesn’t say a word, but his worried expression says enough. ‘They’ve taken him upstairs,’ the nurse says. ‘He’s doing fine. He just needs to be under observation, see some specialists.’<br/>Gerard relaxed. He had just met him, but he was worried about him nonetheless.<br/>‘You’re good to go, by the way,’ the nurse tells him. ‘Your clothes and your possessions are on the chair over there. Just sign your release form.’ He nods, and changes back into his clothes.<br/>He only had a small cut on the side of his face, nothing to worry about, so his shirt and jeans were in perfect condition. His beloved jacket isn’t, but that’s a whole other story. ‘Can you tell me what’s Frank’s room number?’ he asks. The nurse gives a look. ‘I forgot to give him something. I didn’t know –’<br/>Surprisingly enough, the nurse secretly hands him a post-it note indicating the floor and room number. ‘You’re fine, hun. I saw how that boy looked at you. He needs something good in his life.’<br/>Gerard does his best not to blush, though it’s too late for that now, and then almost runs to the elevator.<br/>Third floor, room 379. The nurse told him to show the note to whoever was in the desk, they’d know what to do. But before, he has a stop to make.<br/>He goes to the gift shop by the entrance, and asks the clerk to get him two pounds of dark chocolate. He also gets a Get Well balloon, and just as he turns around, he sees a big bouquet of purple flowers, and he takes it too.<br/>When he walks to the desk on the third floor, the big nurse there sees the note, and gives him a look. ‘C’mon,’ she says. ‘Follow me.’ They go through a long hallway, until they get to room 379.<br/>And there he is.<br/>He’s definitely looking better than before. Instead of the huge mask covering his face, now there’s only a nasal cannula, and a woman is sitting by his side. Gerard assumes that’s his mom. Shit, he didn’t think of that. ‘This gentleman is looking for you, baby,’ the nurse says, and Frank looks straight at Gerard.<br/>‘Hey,’ Frank says, a small smile forming on his face.<br/>‘Hey.’<br/>‘I’ll leave you two alone,’ Frank’s mom says and leaves behind the nurse.<br/>‘I got worried when I came back and you weren’t there.’<br/>‘They just want to keep me under observation for a couple more days,’ Frank says, smiling shyly.<br/>‘I just –,’ Gerard starts. ‘I forgot to give you something.’ Frank looks up nervously as Gerard gets closer. He leaves the flowers on the table next to him, and everything else. And turns to Frank, leaning in. Frank leans closer, meeting him halfway. They kiss gently, Gerard’s good hand on Frank’s cheek, as he pulls him closer.<br/>Gerard pulls away, worried Frank’s running out of breath, and then they just smile at each other. ‘Oh,’ he says. ‘I also got you chocolate.’<br/>‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ He kissed him again, and Gerard seat next to him to watch the soccer match. All he can think is What a day.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. BFF</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Single dad Frank goes to her kids' school meeting, and meets the dad of one of their friends</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘How was school today?’ Frank asks as soon as the girls get in the van.</p><p>‘Meh,’ Cherry replies. ‘Could have stayed home and do nothing.’</p><p>Frank does his best not to laugh.</p><p>‘Bandit and I started a book club,’ Lily adds.</p><p>‘Bandit?’ Frank asks. ‘Who is Bandit.’</p><p>‘That’s Lily’s new best friend,’ Cherry says.</p><p>Frank interrupts, looking at them from the rearview mirror. ‘Who the fuck calls their kid Bandit?!’</p><p>‘That’s what I said,’ Cherry says, putting on her headphones.</p><p>Frank’s favorite thing in the world is being a dad. It’s not easy being a single dad, and having to raise three children completely on his own, but he loves them too much, and he wouldn’t change it for anything. He would have liked that his wife hadn’t died, though. But taking care of his kids made the grief process easier.</p><p>Each morning, he wakes up early, makes sure the three of them shower and get ready for school, cooks them breakfast, drives them to school, and goes to work. He picks them up later, helps them with their homework, and spends time with them. He plays songs for them before bed, and then does the whole thing all over again. And he couldn’t be happier.</p><p>‘Dad!’ Cherry calls from the backseat on their way home. ‘Today is parents’ conference night.’</p><p>‘Okay –’ Frank had other plans for the night, like sleeping, but his kids’ education was more important.</p><p>The school is packed. Frank never thought there were so many kids in the school, plus all the parents. It’s chaos.</p><p>First, they sit visit Miles’ classroom, and his teacher tells Frank how good of a kid he is, and that he always has something funny to say. Frank tries not to cry, because he’s a lot like his late wife, and he misses her a lot. <em>I wish you could had seen them all grown up, </em>Frank thinks. Miles shows him his art projects, and his classroom and all his favorite books.</p><p>And then, they’re off to Lily and Cherry’s class. As soon as they enter the room, he sees Lily run to a girl, most likely the famous Bandit, and gives her a hug. He spends a little longer talking to Mrs. Hernandez, since he has two kids in her class, and she has a lot to say about both of them. Nothing bad, thankfully. ‘You have great kids,’ she says. ‘You should be proud.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’ And he is. He knows it’s not easy to raise three kids on his own, let alone good ones. When he turns around, he founds them in the corner. Lily and her friend talking nonstop, both equally excited, while Cherry and Miles talk to a man, who he assumes should be Bandit’s dad. ‘There you are!’</p><p>Lily tells him she and Bandit are starting their own magazine, and they’re going to interview him one of these days. ‘That’s awesome! I’m honored.’</p><p>‘Hey, dad!’ Miles says. ‘He’s Bandit’s dad.’ The man waves at him.</p><p>‘I’m sorry about my kids bothering you,’ Frank tells him.</p><p>‘Oh, don’t be! They’re actually pretty cool!’ He hands out his hand. ‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘Frank.’</p><p>‘I always wanted more kids, but it didn’t work out. So it’s fun to talk to them.’</p><p>‘You know he makes comic books?’ Cherry interrupts.</p><p>‘Really? Wow!’ Then he turns to Gerard. ‘That is cool!’</p><p>‘Thanks.’</p><p>Frank just sits while Miles shares a short story he wrote, and when he announces it’s time to go, both Lily and Bandit run to him and beg him not to. ‘Can she come with us?’ Lily asks.</p><p>‘I’m sorry. You have school tomorrow, and it’s late, and I’m sure her dad here is tired of you monsters.’ Gerard tries to say something, but Frank shoots him a look.</p><p>‘Please, dad!’ Lily begs. ‘We have a lot of stuff to do.’</p><p>‘You can keep working on it tomorrow.’</p><p>‘You know what?’ Gerard interrupts. ‘I’m actually in the mood for ice cream. What do you guys think?’ All the kids cheer, and he turns to Frank to make sure it’s okay. ‘Just for a bit, so they can, you know, have their meeting.’</p><p>Frank checks his watch, feeling really tired, but he can’t say no to his kids. ‘Okay, let’s go then.’</p><p>As they walk out to the parking lot, the kids ahead of them, Frank and Gerard talk a little more. ‘So – the wife couldn’t come?’ Frank asks.</p><p>‘She – she doesn’t live with us.’</p><p>‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ His face goes red immediately, regretting his words. ‘I thought –‘</p><p>‘It’s fine. We ended it in good terms, she’s still a great mom for B.’ They reach Frank’s van, which is where the kids are waiting for them. ‘But it’s funny, because I was about to ask the same thing.’</p><p>Frank laughs to hide the fact it hurts every time the topic comes out. ‘Well – she died,’ he says, careful not to say it loud enough for the kids to hear.</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s fine.’ There’s an awkward minute where they don’t say anything, before Miles yells at them to hurry up. ‘Okay, let’s go get ice cream.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They arrive at the Frozen Yogurt Palace at the mall, and Gerard tells them to get everything they want. ‘Me too?’ Frank says.</p><p>‘Yeah, you too.’ Gerard pays for everything, and they take one of the big tables, the kids taking half of it, making artwork and lists for their magazine, while Frank and Gerard talk. ‘To be honest, I still find it weird to meet another single dad in B’s class.’</p><p>‘Bad weird or good weird.’</p><p>‘Weird. Maybe because I’m still getting used to <em>being </em>a single dad.’</p><p>‘Wait – how long have you –?</p><p>‘Not even a year,’ Gerard replies. ‘We actually just moved back from Los Angeles, that’s why they’re making Bandit repeat fourth grade.’</p><p>‘That sucks.’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>‘No, I mean, your daughter’s name.’</p><p>Gerard laughs. ‘Hey – we were young and weird.’</p><p>‘I’m sure, but it’s your kid.’</p><p>It turns out Frank and Gerard get along even better than Bandit and Lily, and they talk even more. ‘So you’re like a stay-home dad?’ Gerard asks.</p><p>‘Not really. I’m a therapist. You know, support groups and psychological help and such. And I write music for other artists.’ He’s a got really lucky early in his career when the producer of his band convinced him to write songs for other people, because now he lives off that, while still doing the career he went to college for.</p><p>‘Wow! That’s fucking amazing!’</p><p>‘Not really. Just got lucky.’ It’s not until the store is about to close that they pretty much kick them out. ‘Well, it was really nice meeting you,’ Frank says as they step aside.</p><p>‘Likewise. I guess we’ll be seeing each more – now with the kids being friends and all.’</p><p>‘I guess so.’</p><p>And they do. Sometimes Gerard volunteers himself to take care of all the children, since he has a big house, while Frank has to work, sometimes Frank does. They go to the movies all together, or by Cherry’s insistence, invite Bandit to have a board game night.</p><p>When Gerard comes to pick up Bandit, they’re all asleep on the couch after watching a movie. ‘It’s okay, though. She can stay over,’ Frank tells him, standing by the doorway.</p><p>‘Are you sure?’</p><p>‘Yeah! I have 3 demons of my own, you think I can’t take care of another one?’ Without saying a word, Frank walks out to the porch, and lights a cigarette.</p><p>Gerard doesn’t know what to do. He’s been over at the Ieros’ many times, but not just him and Frank, and for some reason that makes him nervous. He offers him a cigarette, and Gerard takes it. ‘So how were they?’</p><p>‘Good. B is great, and the kids love her.’</p><p>‘She likes them too.’</p><p>‘They were watching Beetlejuice.’ They start talking about movies, sitting side by side, Gerard tells him about his comic books, and then they start talking about the ones they liked when they were kids, and Gerard can’t stop looking at Frank. ‘You wanna come and watch a movie inside?’</p><p>Gerard accepts, and they sit in the only space left in the couch, a little too close together, Miles asleep on Frank’s lap, and Bandit on Gerard’s. They watch Nightmare on Elm Street, and talk over it. ‘I remember watching this when I was younger,’ Frank says, ‘and having the biggest crush on Johnny Depp. I should had known then.’</p><p>Gerard turns to him, surprised. ‘No – but I thought –’</p><p>‘I can play for both teams.’</p><p>Gerard returns his eyes to the TV, and then out of nowhere, he said, ‘Me too.’</p><p>Frank does his best not to cream in excitement. Instead, his free hand reaches for Gerard’s and they lock them together. Frank tries to pay attention, but suddenly Gerard seems distracting. He had a feeling when he met Gerard. They got along too well, when he rarely gets along with other parents. And it was like having a close friend, a friend who knew what it was to be in his same situation. And maybe that, plus having all those things in common, made him incredibly attractive. Not that he hadn’t noticed before.</p><p>But now he just can’t stop looking at him. And once he makes sure all of the kids are asleep, he turns back to Gerard, and plants a kiss on his lips. When he kisses him back, Frank knows he’s not dreaming.</p><p>They finish the movie, holding hands, and then take the kids to the girls’ room. Gerard stays in the guest room, and Frank goes to his, though he can’t sleep thinking about the kiss.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Over the next couple weeks, things go on as normal. The kids hang out all the time on either house, and every time, Frank goes to Gerard’s or the other way around, and they hang out on their own, making sure their kids don’t see them. They sneak out of work to see each other, and send each other flowers. They want to tell them when they’re sure it’s going to work.</p><p>So they decide to go to the movies over the weekend. But before, they take them out to eat. When they’re all sitting, waiting for their food, Frank gets their attention. ‘So – we wanted to tell you something.’ They look at each other, not sure to break the news to them. ‘Gerard and I –,’</p><p>Cherry interrupts him. ‘You’re dating. We know.’</p><p>Both Gerard and Frank are speechless, looking at each other. And Cherry continues. ‘You think we haven’t seen you holding hands outside of school? Or at home? Or when you kissed B’s dad?’</p><p>There’s silence at the table, and then Gerard speaks up. ‘And what do you guys think?’</p><p>‘I’m okay,’ Miles says. ‘Having two dads is better than having just one.’</p><p>Lily and Bandit both smile, which is enough answer.</p><p>‘I love it!’ Cherry says, and Frank laughs because he knows she never says that.</p><p>During the movie, she actually makes sure Frank and Gerard sit together, and the following morning she makes the rest help her make pancakes to take them to their bed. ‘Welcome to the family, Dad Gerard.’ Then, they all get in bed to watch Moana together.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. I Will Look For You in Every Life</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i'm not explaining this one, just read it</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span class="u">Florence, Italy 1781</span>
</p><p>‘<em>Signor </em>Iero,’ the maid called, carrying a tray of food. ‘You need to eat.’ But Franco wasn’t listening. He was too focused on his fingers hitting the piano keys, trying different versions of the same progression. His hands didn’t move the way they did before, he didn’t have enough strength, and every day he felt he was about to die. But he would not rest until he finished what could be his last opera.</p><p>Franco Iero was the biggest composer in Italy, and after years of working for the royal family, he retired to his house in Florence to compose his own operas. Then, he contracted Scarlet Fever, and after a couple months, he felt his body was giving up.</p><p>‘I’m fine,’ he said between coughs. ‘Just leave it there, and I’ll eat when I finish this.’</p><p>‘But –‘</p><p>‘Nothing.’ He didn’t go to bed until he figured out the last note of his masterpiece, and as he tried to get up from his piano, he fainted.</p><p>‘He doesn’t have a lot of time left,’ the doctor announced his staff. ‘Just make sure he’s comfortable.’</p><p>The maid nodded, wiping off the tears of her eyes. As the doctor left, a young man came in running. Gerard.</p><p>‘How is he? Is he alive?’ Gerard wasn’t just any young man. He was a playwright from London trying to make it. Franco had giving him a chance to write something for his opera, and they had gotten close since. The maid nodded, and took him to Franco’s room.</p><p>He was barely conscious, sweating, but as soon as he noticed Gerard’s presence, he smiled. ‘Gee, my love,’ he said. Gerard sat next to him, already crying. ‘I’m okay, love, I promise.’ Gerard couldn’t do anything other than nodding and crying, holding Franco close to him. ‘I finished it.’</p><p>‘You did?’</p><p>‘Now it’s up to you. My legacy is in your hands.’ They laughed despite the heaviness of the moment.</p><p>‘I’m so proud of you.’</p><p>There was a long silence. Franco couldn’t talk anymore, he just stared at the ceiling, holding his lover’s hand tight, not letting go. ‘I – don’t –,’ he struggled. Gerard cuddled next to him. ‘I don’t want to leave you.’</p><p>‘I don’t want you to leave me either.’</p><p>Franco continued. ‘But I know I will look for you in the next life, and the next, and all of them.’</p><p>‘I will look for you too.’</p><p>‘I know you will.’ He kissed Gerard’s forehead, and died peacefully minutes later, in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">New England 1865</span>
</p><p>Gerard needed to find a wife.</p><p>That was the only requirement to take over the family’s business. Not that he wanted to. He was content with his position as a newspaper’s editor. But he was tired of his parents’ insistence. He was pushing thirty, and it seemed no girl was interested in him. Or maybe he wasn’t interested in them? Whatever was the case, he still went to every social event in town looking for a nice woman who would make his family proud.</p><p>In the meantime, he just wanted to write and focus on his job.</p><p>That morning, he was late to work, and he already had someone waiting to see him. A young man who was looking to get his poems published. When he came in, Gerard noticed how young he looked. ‘Are you twelve?’</p><p>‘No!’ The boy sat in the chair in front of him, and handed Gerard a bunch of loose pieces of paper. ‘I’m nineteen.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t believe him, but took them anyway. ‘And what’s your name?’</p><p>‘Frank.’</p><p>Gerard hadn’t seen him before, but for some reason he seemed familiar. He shrugged it off, and read his work. He needed help with edits, but he was good. The poems were raw, and angry, and they made Gerard feel something he couldn’t quite explain. ‘They’re so – depressing?’</p><p>‘Life’s depressing,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘No, I mean it in a good way.’</p><p>‘Thanks.’ It was the first time Frank smiled. Gerard told him he’d publish them after editing them, and how much he’d get paid. ‘No – don’t edit them.’</p><p>‘But there are so many grammatical errors.’</p><p>‘It was intended that way.’ Gerard raised an eyebrow. He could feel the eyes of the young man piercing through him.</p><p>‘Under what name?’</p><p>‘Just FTW.’ Gerard was about to say something, but he chose not to.</p><p>‘Look, if you don’t like them, I can just go to another newspaper.’</p><p>‘No. Look – I’ll think about it, okay?’ Frank didn’t say much, and just left.</p><p>That same night, his mom forced him to go to the a dance at one of their friends’ house. He wasn’t in the mood. He had a lot of work, and he had been reading that young man’s poems, and they left him thinking. But he was starting to feel alone, and maybe a wife would help. ‘Hey, there,’ he said to the nice woman in a yellow dress by the window. She seemed like she didn’t belong there. Her dress was dirty, and her hair wasn’t done properly. She waved at him, and he noticed she was drinking. Interesting. He rarely saw women drinking around here. ‘What’s your name?’</p><p>‘Lindsey.’</p><p>‘Nice. I’m Gerard.’ The truth was he didn’t know how to socialize. He was a man of few words, and he usually used them writing, not talking. But it didn’t matter because Lindsey started asking random questions about the stars and squirrels. He just laughed. Maybe he had a chance. </p><p>But then, he saw a familiar face among the servers.</p><p>It was the poet kid.</p><p>Without apologizing, he left Lindsey there, and almost ran to where Frank was. ‘Hey, there.’ Gerard didn’t know why he was acting that way, almost excited to see this boy, but he was. ‘What a surprise.’</p><p>But Frank wasn’t happy. He looked pissed. ‘What are you doing here?’</p><p>‘My family were invited.’ Frank couldn’t help noticing Gerard’s fancy clothes, his posture that implied he was more important than he thought.</p><p>‘Oh, really? And you came over here to rub it in?’</p><p>‘What? No! I just –’ But he did realize that’s what it looked like. For some reason he didn’t want to screw it up with him. ‘I just saw you and wanted to say I read the rest of your poems, and they’re really good. I convinced my dad to publish them.’</p><p>‘What? Really?’</p><p>Gerard nodded, and Frank cheered, almost dropping the glasses off his tray, and Gerard reached to save them. ‘I think that calls for a celebration. Wanna get out of here?’ He led them out of the mansion, and to the garden. They sat under a tree, and Gerard handed him one of the champagne glasses. ‘Cheers to you.’</p><p>‘Cheers.’</p><p>They stayed in silence for a minute. Gerard didn’t know what to say or why he had asked to hang out, but he’d rather spend time with him in awkward silence than talking to women and looking for a wife.</p><p>Maybe he didn’t need a wife.</p><p>‘I need to try something,’ he said. Without hesitation, he leaned in, and when Frank noticed, he met him halfway, their lips touching. When they pulled apart, Gerard just looked at him straight in the eye with a smirk. ‘Huh?’</p><p>‘<em>Huh? </em>That’s all you have to say?’</p><p>‘Yes. Huh.’ Just then, the realization came in. ‘I just – now I get why I could never find a wife.’ Frank still looked confused. ‘My parents have tried to get me to marry but I haven’t found anyone I like. Until now.’</p><p>Frank smiled at that, and kissed him, this time more passionately. They sneaked in one of the many rooms in the mansion to hook up. ‘Don’t tell me you’re publishing my stuff just so I sleep with you,’ Frank said, taking off his clothes.</p><p>Gerard shook his head. ‘But your poems made me feel something for the first time. And I liked your attitude, and –’</p><p>‘Shut up and fuck me,’ Frank said, and that’s what Gerard did.</p><p>They spent the night together, drinking and dancing on their own, talking about the future, and life. ‘You know what?’ Gerard asked, holding for Frank’s hand. ‘When you came through my door, I could swear I had met you already.’</p><p>‘Are you kidding me?’ Frank just laughed. ‘Just don’t think I’m wife material.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">New York, 1941</span>
  </em>
</p><p>‘Welcome to the family,’ Mr. Way said, scratching his son’s head. Gerard was about to mention he <em>was </em>already part of the family, but he knew what his dad meant. He was now a part of his dad’s gang.</p><p>He had done his first kill, meaning he was in. So his dad’s men took him out to celebrate. There was a new bar in Manhattan, owned by some of his dad’s friends, and they had a Big Band. The moment they stepped in, all the staff ran to help them with their coats and take them to their table in the VIP section.</p><p>Gerard wasn’t in the mood to celebrate, though. Killing had changed him. He didn’t want to kill anyone, he was just defending himself, and he honestly didn’t think he’d die. But now, Gerard’s life had changed forever. And there was no way out of it.</p><p>He heard them talking, but it was just white noise to him. His head was about to explode, and he wanted to run away.</p><p>The music had started playing, so he focused on that.</p><p>He turned to the stage. Around 50 people up there, playing music, just feeling it, giving their all. He wished he could do that. And then he saw one of the guitar players. He looked younger than the rest, and he seemed so focused on his movements. He stared at his fingers on the fretboard, making sweet music that made him forget how much he hated his life.</p><p>For almost an hour, he forgot about everything else.</p><p>When the band was done playing, he had barely drunk anything. ‘I need a smoke,’ he said. ‘I’ll be right back.’ He walked through the back door to the alley, and to his surprise, the young musician was there too. He stood on the other side of the door, took out a cigarette and lit it, stealing glances of the boy.</p><p>‘Can I have one?’ he asked, and Gerard gave one to him. ‘Thanks.’ The boy stood next to Gerard. ‘That suit is a little big for you. Didn’t they have one in your size?’</p><p>‘It’s not mine. It was my dad’s. I don’t own one yet.’</p><p>‘You seemed cheerful.’</p><p>‘Well – if I tell you I just killed someone, would you believe me?’</p><p>The boy laughed. ‘No. You don’t seem the killing kind.’</p><p>‘Nice of you to say, but I did.’</p><p>‘Good to know. I’m Frank.’</p><p>‘Gerard.’ They smoked the entire pack, and talked about nonsense. For some reason, Gerard felt he could talk to him about anything. He told him something he’d never told anyone before. He wanted to be a musician, but his dad would never allow that. ‘I have to follow his steps,’ he said, avoiding to mention his dad was in the mafia. He didn’t want to risk Frank’s life.</p><p>‘You don’t have to.’ Frank started to get too close, leaning in. ‘You don’t have to do anything you don’t want.’ And just then, he kissed him.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>‘You can run away with me,’ Frank continued. Gerard laughed, tempted. ‘I’m serious. I’ve been saving some money to go live in California. You can come with me.’</p><p>‘I –’</p><p>‘At least come to my place, and we can keep this thing going,’ he said, kissing him again. Gerard nodded, and then ran behind Frank. Whatever he was taking him, he’d go. If this was the life he’d have with him, if it felt this good to be with him, he’d follow him anywhere, for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">Washington D.C., 1967</span>
  </em>
</p><p>A group of young people approached the Pentagon with signs, protesting the Vietnam War. Among them, a short barefoot man with flowers in his hair with a sign that read “Get the hell out of Vietnam,” screamed at the top of his lungs. He made it to the front of the crowd standing in front of the military officials and other groups that defended the troops, placing flowers inside the rifles. ‘We want peace, we want peace!’ Frank screamed in their faces.</p><p>We stood in front of a taller man with black hair. He was wearing a tie and a suede jacket, but he didn’t look happy to be there. So, Frank yelled in his face louder to make him even more uncomfortable.</p><p>Then, a fight started nearby. Someone from one of the pro-war groups started throwing punches at everyone, including Frank, who went to the floor immediately, his head hitting the floor. When he tried to open his eyes, the man he was yelling at just minutes before was there, asking him if he was okay. Frank tried to shake his head, but doubted it worked. ‘Come with me,’ the man said. He helped him get up, and walks him out of the chaos, to the nearest café. He offers him a bad of ice, and keeps asking if he’s okay.</p><p>‘I might have a concussion and a black eye, what do you think?’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘Why are you helping me, anyway?’ Frank asked, not necessarily angry. Just shocked. ‘You’re supposed to be on the other side.’</p><p>‘Because –’ He struggled to say a word. ‘Because it doesn’t matter what side we’re on. I don’t like to see people get hurt.’</p><p>‘Then why are you supporting the war?’</p><p>The man didn’t know what to say. ‘If I tell you I don’t agree with any of that, and I was forced to join the group, would you forgive me.’</p><p>Frank considered. ‘Only if you get me coffee. And a sandwich.’ They talked for a while. The man’s name was Gerard and he was in law school.</p><p>They went for coffee a couple more times, and then Gerard took him to his apartment where he gave him a blowjob. Frank gave him his Sgt. Pepper’s album, and told him it would change his life. <em>Within You Without You</em> was playing in the background while they fucked. The next morning, Frank woke up to Gerard crying.</p><p>‘Remember when I told you that I did agree on war?’ he asked, and Frank nodded. ‘I didn’t tell you the whole truth. The thing is – I was drafted. I’m supposed to leave in a couple weeks.’</p><p>Frank’s heart stopped for a second. Just when he was falling for him.</p><p>‘I’m scared, Frank.’</p><p>They tried to enjoy that time, going on dates, and cuddling on Frank’s mattress. ‘I love you,’ he finally admitted. ‘And you’re going to make it alive, and you’re going to come back to me, and fuck me in this very mattress.’</p><p>‘Deal.’ They smiled at each other. ‘But even –’</p><p>‘Don’t!’</p><p>Gerard continued, nonetheless. ‘Even if I don’t make it, I will look for you in the next life.’</p><p>‘Deal.’</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">New Jersey, 2001</span>
  </em>
</p><p>Frank was a little drunk in the middle of a crowded party. He wasn’t paying attention to what Hambone and Shaun were saying. He was too focused rolling a joint.</p><p>He heard Mikey Way talking to them, so he looked up to say hi to Mikey Way. He was dope. ‘Hey,’ Frank said. He noticed the guy behind him, but he was too stoned to care now.</p><p>‘Hey, Frankie. What’s up? This is my brother Gerard,’ He pointed to the guy behind him with the spikey hair. Oh. So he was Mikey’s brother?</p><p>‘Hey, Gerard.’ Frank looked up at him with a smile, his eyes a little red. ‘You want some?’ he asked, offering the blunt, which Gerard took. ‘You look familiar.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed, and sat next to him. They talked for hours about The Misfits, and hating life, and aliens. Frank liked the way Gerard smiled to the side, and the fact he was an artist, and just the most interesting person he’d ever met, and he couldn’t help wondering what it’d be like to kiss him.</p><p>‘Happy almost twenty years,’ Frank said. They lay in bed together in a hotel room in London. They had just played a show the day before, and they had a whole world tour ahead. They couldn’t believe everything they had gone through in the last year, let alone the last twenty years since they met.</p><p>They finally could see each other again, and could play together again, after the whole pandemic postponed the reunion, but the best part was being just the two of them. They knew it was harder now that they had families, and that everyone knew about them, but they were willing to take the risk. Frank sneaked in Gerard’s room, and stayed the night with him.</p><p>‘I can’t believe you remember the day we met,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘Well – I do. I knew I was in love then.’ Frank rested his head of Gerard’s chest, unable to believe everything they had to go through to be there. ‘I thought we were going to die,’ he said. ‘That we’d never be like this anymore.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed, his fingers running through Frank’s hair.</p><p>‘But I wasn’t afraid. You know why?’</p><p>‘Why?’</p><p>‘Because I know we’ll find each other in the next life.’</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help laughing, and held Frank’s head with both hands. ‘Will you stop being cheesy? We didn’t die! We’re alive! We can still be together now.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I'm Yours</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>my attempt at smut/nsfw... not sure I got it right</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Dom looking for sub, </em>the post read.</p><p>Frank stared at his screen for ten straight minutes, breathing heavily. Most of what he knew about sex – at least gay sex – was from porn, and he was kinda into that stuff.</p><p>But one thing was watching it, and another completely different story was replying to an online post from a stranger. What if it was an old man in a basement? What if it was a teenaged girl? He hadn’t gone on tinder dates or any of that sort. He lived in the middle of where, a small town with barely two hundred people, and there were no other gay guys, at least not out. That was a death sentence here.</p><p>If it wasn’t for that time he got a job at a McDonald’s in the next town over, he’d still be a virgin at twenty-two. He still remembered the fry guy always staring at him, and them smoking outside together, and then sneaking into the restroom to give each other blowjobs. He made Frank promise not to tell anyone, ever. When Frank was fired for smoking pot in the workplace, they never saw each other again, obviously. And though he didn’t really like him, he had been his only actual experience.</p><p>He had talked to guys online, but nothing more than that. Maybe shared a pic or two, but that was it. And then he saw the post in one of the blogs he followed, and it intrigued him. He knew it wasn’t a good idea for many reasons, but still, he replied to it.</p><p>Just to talk to someone, he thought. Most likely it wouldn’t go farther than exchanging messages online and one of them ghosting the other. He was bored, and it was the only distraction from his reality.</p><p>
  <em>Hey. </em>
</p><p>Fuck. He felt so stupid for that.</p><p>What was he supposed to say? It was too late for that anyway. He had two options, say something else and embarrass himself even further or just wait for an answer. So that’s what he did, masturbating until he fell asleep.</p><p>Next morning, he woke up to a message. <em>Hey sweetie. Wanna meet for coffee? </em>The stranger had sent him his info. His name was Gerard and he asked to meet him at a fancy coffee shop downtown at noon. <em>Look for a man with bleached hair and gray beanie. </em></p><p>Frank’s heart was beating uncontrollably. His stomach was turning, and he felt like he was going to faint. What the fuck was he thinking? Was he seriously considering to go? No.</p><p>He was risking a lot and he wasn’t sure in the first place.</p><p>It was a bad idea.</p><p>The worst.</p><p>And yet, he put on some pants, grabbed his wallet and went out. He told his mom he was going to buy cigarettes, and his mom didn’t even listened.</p><p>He walked out, considering whether he should go or not to the date, he even considered turning around and going back home. He went through half his cigarette pack before he got in his beat-up car and drove away.</p><p>He got to the place he was told at eleven thirty, but he didn’t have money to buy one of those expensive coffees, nor he looked decent enough to walk in. He was wearing loose jeans, and a hoodie, with his old converse. His hair was growing longer, and he hadn’t shaved in a couple days. He was so anxious, he got another cigarette, and stood a couple feet away from the entrance.</p><p>He almost left.</p><p>He wasn’t sure why he walked in, five minutes ‘til noon, and looked around.</p><p>For such a hipster café, the place was full. Every table occupied. He could hear his heartbeat as his eyes check each and every table for the man with the gray beanie.</p><p>It was October. It was cold. Half the population was wearing hoodies, especially the kind of people who frequented this kind of place. But he supposed the stranger would be sitting by himself, so he looked for tables with just one person sitting there.</p><p>And there he was – or at least, he thought it was him – sitting by the far corner. Bleached hair under a gray beanie.</p><p>Frank’s hands were sweating like crazy, and as he walked to the table, he wondered what the hell he was doing. Was he really that desperate? It could be a serial killer for all he knew!</p><p>And yet, he was walking towards him.</p><p>He stood across from the man, who was too focused on a book, and avoiding to look at him, he  said, ‘Gerard?’</p><p>The man looked up, a serious expression in his face. <em>Fuck, wrong person!</em> Frank thought. <em>I screwed up.</em> Maybe that was a sign he shouldn’t be here. He started to walk away, when he heard his name being yelled by the man. ‘Frank?’</p><p>It was actually him.</p><p>He was – not what Frank expected.</p><p>He did look older, but not by much. Maybe in his early thirties? And he was expecting a man in a suit maybe, an authority aura of sorts. But he looked soft and round, almost made you wanted to pinch his cheeks.</p><p>With nothing else to do, he walked back to the table, and after a long uncomfortable silence, he sat across the man with the bleached hair. ‘I almost thought you weren’t coming,’ he said.</p><p>‘I almost didn’t,’ Frank admitted.</p><p>‘Then, why did you?’</p><p>‘I don’t know.’</p><p>The silence continued for a while, until Gerard offered to buy him coffee. ‘Order anything you want.’ So Frank ordered the biggest mocha frappe with marshmallows on top, and they went back to the table. ‘You have questions?’ Frank nodded, but didn’t say anything. ‘You wanna tell me about yourself?’</p><p>‘There’s not a lot you need to know.’ He laughed to himself. ‘You know what? I don’t know why I came. This is stupid.’ Yet, he didn’t get up.</p><p>‘Can I ask something?’ Frank nodded. ‘What did you expect?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. Nothing really. I thought we’d just talk.’</p><p>‘We’re talking right now.’</p><p>‘Not like that. Online. Last night. I thought that was all it was going to be.’</p><p>‘What’s the point of that?’</p><p>‘That’s what I usually do.’</p><p>Gerard nodded, understanding. ‘Are you afraid?’ He reached for Frank’s hand, but he pulled it away, nodding. ‘It’s okay. We don’t have to do it. Not today.’</p><p>‘Okay.’</p><p>‘You wanna go to the movies?’ Frank agreed to go with him, and they walked to a theater a couple blocks away to see whatever movie was on, and halfway through, Gerard went for Frank’s hand again, and this time he let him. A second later, Frank was the one leaning in for a kiss, and Gerard gladly gave in. They spent the rest of the movie with their mouths in each other’s throats, hands in each other’s crotch over their pants.</p><p>‘Let’s go to my place,’ Gerard said, pulling him closer, an arm around his waist as they walk out of the theater. ‘We can talk about this.’</p><p>Frank agreed. A minute later a car pulled over to pick them up. He had his own chauffer!</p><p>On the way there, Gerard didn’t initiate anything, afraid of scaring Frank away, but let him kiss him tenderly. He was aware of how nervous Frank was, he just wanted to help him relax, make him feel comfortable. ‘You want me to –’ Frank asked nodding to Gerard’s cock.</p><p>Gerard gave him a smirk. He couldn’t believe how he was already asking for permission. ‘I would love to,’ he said. ‘But we need to set the rules first.’ So they kept kissing until the car was parked in Gerard’s private parking place.</p><p>They got on the elevator to Gerard’s penthouse apartment, Frank sucking on his neck, unable to stop. Gerard let him, getting turned on already. He liked how needy he was, addicted to him within hours of meeting him. He’d let Frank do whatever he wanted for a while before telling him what the rules were.</p><p>When they made it to his apartment, Frank got distracted by how big and elegant it was. <em>How the fuck did I end up in this man’s place?, </em>he thought. Everything was white and pristine, almost like no one lived there. But the best part of it all was the view. The windows covered the entire back wall, giving them a view of the entire city. Frank stood by the window, mesmerized. He felt lucky to be up there, seeing the tiny people in their tiny houses.</p><p>He heard noise behind him, probably Gerard cleaning around, but he was too entertained with the outside world. Gerard was then standing behind him, his arms around him. ‘You like what you see?’ he asked, to which Frank nodded. Gerard pointed to all the landmark he could see from his window, and Frank got more excited. Gerard loved that, and couldn’t help himself, turning him around to kiss him, going from tender to passionate in a matter or seconds, and Frank was into it, panting into Gerard’s mouth. Gerard started taking off the younger man’s clothes, leaving him in his underwear. He noticed how he left him take control without protesting. This would be better than he expected. ‘Let’s go to the bedroom, okay?’</p><p>Frank nodded.</p><p>Once there, Gerard started stripping off his sweater and jeans while Frank fixated his lips on his neck. ‘Keep going, baby!’ he said, and Frank did as he was told. When both men were in their underwear, Gerard took him by the arms, and looking at him straight in his hazel eyes, he said, ‘Let’s just do this – no rules, no limits. Whatever you want, just ask and we’ll do it.’ Frank nodded. With that, Gerard leaned in to push his tongue inside Frank’s mouth, his hands pulling on the elastic of his underwear, pulling it down. Frank proceeded to do the same to Gerard, followed by his hand going back to his length and massaging it until Gerard started moaning. ‘You’re so good, sweetie.’</p><p>‘Am I?’ He got on his knees, and licked his tip before taking it all in his mouth, humming as he did. Gerard couldn’t believe how good he was at it and wondered if he had any experience being a submissive. It was like he was born for it.</p><p>Gerard let himself go. It had been a while since the last time he let someone else be in charge, and Frank seemed to know what he wanted, which was for Gerard to come inside him.</p><p>Still in his knees, Frank licked two of his fingers, and pushed them in Gerard’s entrance, slowly as he took his cock in his mouth again. He wanted to give Gerard as much pleasure as possible.</p><p>He still had no idea what this whole dom/sub thing was about, what he was supposed to do, would it hurt. He was afraid of getting attached to Gerard, or anyone. He was afraid of getting his feelings hurt. But more than anything, he was afraid of never finding anyone and dying alone. So maybe this could work, who knew?</p><p>He’d have to show Gerard he could be a good submissive. He had to show him what he was capable of doing. He licked every bit of Gerard’s skin, his fingernails deep in his beautiful skin. They soon moved to the bed, where now Frank let Gerard do as he pleased. He noticed he was being gentle, caressing him with all the care in the world, careful with his thrusts, not wanting to hurt him, putting all the love and attention to his mouth. Frank doubted this is how it was supposed to be, but he liked it. He liked being cared for. Gerard pumped him until he came, and afterwards, while Frank was still in that high, his entire body shaking from the oversensitivity, he continued to kiss him, massaging him, making him feel like he was the most important thing in the world, to then clean him off with a wet towel. ‘You’re still up to it?’ Gerard asked, running the towel down Frank’s back.</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>‘Okay, then. But first, I wanna know more about you.’ He turned him around to see his face, and gave him all his attention. ‘How old are you, what do you do with your life? What are your dreams? Why do you want to be my sub?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help smiling. ‘Why do you wanna know that? I’m the least interesting guy ever.’</p><p>‘I disagree. Not only you captivated me the second I met you, but the way you let me be in charge since the beginning –’</p><p>‘I thought that was the point,’ Frank answered, his eyes innocent yet yearning.</p><p>‘Yeah, though not completely. Have you been in other dom/sub relationships?’ Frank shook his head. ‘Then how do you know?’</p><p>‘Porn.’ They both laughed.</p><p>‘Well – I guess everyone has their own way. I want you to trust me, first and foremost. Being your dom doesn’t mean I own you and you have to do everything I want all the time. I like to give you freedoms.’ He could see Frank swallowing hard and it turned him on.</p><p>‘Have you –,’ Frank started, struggling to find his words. ‘Have you had a lot of subs?’</p><p>‘Is that a problem with you?’ Gerard asked, not in a rude or authoritative tone. More caring than anything. And Frank shook his head. ‘Can I ask if you’ve had any partners?’</p><p>‘If the fry guy who fucked me on the employee’s restroom when I worked at McDonald’s counts, then yes.’ He tries to laugh it off, but he’s ashamed of his lack of experience.</p><p>‘You deserve more than that.’ He kissed him again. Frank then asked him about himself, to which Gerard answered, every single question he had. He was thirty-five, had his own imprint in a big comic book publisher, hence all the money. They talked about music and books, and TV shows, and The Misfits. ‘So should we settle down the rules?’ Gerard said, almost in a whisper, to which Frank nodded. ‘First rule. You’re free. I don’t own you. The moment you want out, you’re free to go. I won’t stop you, I won’t chain you. We’re just two men in a relationship where I like to tell you what to do in bed.’ Frank listened attentively, biting his bottom lip. ‘And like I said, this is about trust. I want you to trust me that I want to take care of you, and I want both to feel the best we’ve ever felt. Okay?’ He continued, explaining that he could ask for anything he wanted, he’d get it for him. Gifts, especial requests, time for himself. Anything. ‘We need a safe word. Whenever you’ve had enough, or you feel like I’ve hurt you, or for whatever reason, just say it. Choose a word.’</p><p>‘Spider.’</p><p>‘Then spider it is.’ He started caressing his skin, causing him to shiver under his touch. ‘When we get intimate, you do what I say, unless I tell you. I will initiate our encounters, or any form of affection. If you’re good, you’ll get rewarded. If you’re not –’ Frank nodded again, trying to repress his growing erection. ‘You’re lucky I’m fucking horny all the time.’ Frank smiled as Gerard leaned in for a kiss. ‘So – shall I start?’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank didn’t know what to expect, he just knew he had to trust him.</p><p>Gerard helped him up, and reached for a folded handkerchief by his night stand to tie it around Frank as a blindfold. ‘Are you ready?’</p><p>‘Yes.’</p><p>‘From now until I tell you to, you’re going to refer to me as Master, understood?’</p><p>‘Yes, Master.’</p><p>‘Good boy.’ He kissed his neck tenderly, taking both hands and pushing them to his back. Frank felt a soft material around his wrists before he heard a click, and then his hands were handcuffed. ‘Now, I’m going to call you Frankie.’ Gerard carried him to the bed – he was grateful he was small and light – and helped him sit with his back leaning on the headboard, and spread his legs. ‘Wait for me here, dear,’ he said, and went to grab a box from his closet. Dildos, straps, whips and all kinds of sex toys were inside. He took a plug and covered it in lube, before joining Frank again. Without a word, he rubbed the plug against Frank’s entrance, lightly first. ‘You’re free to do as many noises as you feel like. In fact, I’d prefer you be as loud as possible. Understood?’ Frank nodded, and Gerard pushed the plug all the way in, causing Frank to yell. Gerard was aroused by that, and pressed his lips against his to relieve the tension. Wet tongue kisses were shared, their tongues intertwining, thick saliva connecting their lips as Gerard pulled away. He took both their dicks in his right hand and stroked them against each other.</p><p>Frank was gasping fast under him, his heart beating fast from all the pleasure. When he felt Gerard’s mouth around his member, he moaned audibly, giggling in between. ‘Can I come now?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Not yet, baby.’ He then pulled the plug out of Frank’s asshole, and helped him sit up, leading him to his lap, one leg on each side of Gerard. Frank could already feel the tip of Gerard’s very erect cock on his entrance, but waited for him to pushed him all the way down, both men moaning heavily in pleasure as he did. Frank leaned down on Gerard’s shoulder, getting comfortable. When he did, Gerard pushed his hips up, as an invitation to do his part. ‘Ride the fuck out of me,’ he said, giving his submissive permission, at the same time he pumped Frank’s cock. ‘And come for me, baby.’</p><p>Frank obeyed, pushing up and down, making Gerard moan loud. He could feel him come inside him as the same time as him, but kept pushing down, whispering in his ears, ‘I’m yours now.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. You’re A Heart Attack in Black Hair Dye</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Danger Days universe</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘You were good, boy,’ the old man in the bed says.</p><p>‘If you think that’s going to get you a discount, you’re wrong.’ Frank puts on his pants, and grabs a wallet from the dresser. ‘I’ll take an extra twenty for being a creep.’ Then, he’s out in the streets again.</p><p>The way from the old man’s apartment to his place is long, and it’s already late. He knows how bad of an idea it is to be outside around this time. He also knew he shouldn’t be sleeping with strangers for money. But he needs it.</p><p>He makes it to the empty parking lot, and walks straight to the tent behind the dumpster. Home sweet home.</p><p>He doesn’t remember a life before this, and hates the fact he’s probably going to have to do this if he wants to survive. He wishes he had a normal life, his own apartment in Battery City, and someone to come home to. But that’s impossible for someone like him.</p><p>At least no one has to hear him cry to sleep.</p><p>‘Hey, Frankie,’ Blue greets him on his way back to the City the next morning. He has lived in the Lobby long enough to meets almost everyone here, especially anyone who is in the same business as him. Most of them are Pornodroids. Frank is actually one of the few human sex workers. He doesn’t care, though. It’s the closest he has to a family. ‘You’re too young to be doing this,’ Blue tells him.</p><p>‘You have any other ideas to make a living?’ he asks.</p><p>‘Good point.’</p><p>Most of Frank’s clients are older men, and most of them work for BLI, which he believes has granted them some sort of safety. Every morning, he walks the streets of the Lobby, waiting for clients. Most of them want just a quick one in the restroom of the convenience store. Some of them are nice enough to take him home with them. He likes those because he gets to stay in fancy houses and eat for once. After a long day, he sees a car pulling up, and a bald man steps out. He looks around, and Frank is afraid this is it. He looks important, and what if he’s here to take everyone away? But he comes all the way to where Frank is and just stands there. ‘Hello, there,’ the man says with a smirk.</p><p>Frank doesn’t show any reaction. By now, he knows it’s better not to show emotion. He hides his fear under his growing dark brown hair, and just nods. Without a word, he follows the man into his car. He’s too numb to cry, but the fear never leaves.</p><p>The man has a nice apartment in the City, and to be honest, he’s nicer than most. He makes sure Frank is comfortable and enjoys it. ‘What’s your name?’</p><p>‘You can call me whatever you want,’ Frank says. One of the first things he learned was to never give his real name or he’d get in trouble. After finishing his job, he’s ready to leave, but the man tells him he can stay and eat something. ‘I’m good.’</p><p>‘It’s not safe for you out there.’</p><p>‘As if you cared.’ But the man begs, and even cooks for him. After finishing his canned food, he sleeps in the couch, and swears he’d be out of there before the man wakes up.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Every day on his way back to the Lobby, he can’t help wondering what life would be outside of Battery City. He wonders what’s the best way out of the city. What’s out there?</p><p>But as he’s falling asleep, he can swear he hears the man on the phone with someone, mentioning something about Killjoys, and the desert, and a mission, and Frank’s interest peaks. He’s not tired anymore, and stays awake to look around the apartment. He finds a map of Battery City, showing all the Zones and the way out.</p><p>He’s found his ticket out.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>If only it was that easy to make it to the desert with no money or anything for that matter, and the risk of being stopped by an Exterminator. He only knows one way to get anything.</p><p>It takes him several days to get enough money, and then convince his clients to give him a ride to the next Zone over, and then another day to sneak out to the desert.</p><p>By then, he’s packed some food to make it out there, but he never thought how hot it would be or how big the desert is, and now he feels like dying under the sun.</p><p>Not to mention, he doesn’t even know where he’s going.</p><p>But he’s free.</p><p>He’s finally free.</p><p>Now he just needs to keep walking.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>‘Yo – Party!’ a voice says nearby.</p><p>Frank tries to open his eyes but the sun is too bright above him, and it’s giving him a headache. He just makes out silhouettes around him, and voices talking. ‘Come look at this!’ the voice says again. Frank sees a big head looking down at him.</p><p>No, it’s not a big head. It’s a helmet.</p><p>‘Who is that?’ another voice says.</p><p>‘I don’t know. He was just lying there.’</p><p>‘You think he’s dead? You think the BLI sent him after us?’</p><p>Frank tries to do his best to say something, but only a moan comes out. ‘He’s alive!’ one of them says.</p><p>Frank is starting to come to, and immediately notices his dry mouth, and the nausea caused by the heat. ‘Water,’ he whispers. A hand gives him a bottle and he can’t help noticing the BLI sticker. Are they part of it? They’re going to take him back to the slums or kill him. He has to run away. Now! He jumps of the ground, scared.</p><p>In front of him, three guys around his age just look at him. There’s the one with the helmet, another one with an afro, too busy looking through a bag. And there’s one with bright red hair.</p><p>They look nothing like something out of the BLI. Quite the opposite. ‘Hey, there, man!’ the one with the red hair says. ‘Are you okay?’ All can Frank do is shake his head and make an attempt to get up and run, but they stop him. ‘Where are you going? We’re not going to hurt you!’</p><p>‘That’s what they all say!’</p><p>‘I’m sorry for whatever happened, we’re not like that.’</p><p>Frank stops, not sure why. Maybe he can trust them. ‘Then who are you?’</p><p>‘I’m Party Poison,’ the bright red-haired man says. ‘That’s Jet Star and Kobra Kid.’</p><p>‘That’s really your name?’</p><p>‘Yeah. Who are you?’</p><p>‘I –,’ Frank almost tells him. But he knows that’s not a good idea. He doesn’t know them enough. ‘No one.’</p><p>‘Well – No One. What are you doing here?’</p><p>‘I – I ran away. I’m from Battery City. I just couldn’t live like that anymore.’</p><p>The other three share a look. ‘Well, if you stick with us, you’ll be safe,’ Jet Star said. ‘Are you hurt?’</p><p>Frank shakes his head. He’s not ready to let them see yet.</p><p>‘Come with us,’ Party says, and helps him to their Trans Am. Frank falls asleep the moment he gets in. They make it to an empty diner, that’s apparently where they live. Party Poison gives him some clothes and wets a towel to help him clean the cut on his arm. ‘Nice tattoos.’</p><p>‘Thank you,’ Frank says shyly. ‘My friend gave them to me.’</p><p>‘You seem sad!’ Without any warning, he just walks up to Frank and gives him a hug. ‘I know you don’t know me, but I hope you can trust me.’</p><p>Frank blushes. ‘Thank you.’</p><p>‘We need to give you a name, No One. I’ll think of something.’</p><p>That night, Frank can’t sleep. He just lies in the blanket they set out for him in the corner of the room, looking up at the ceiling. His life has changed drastically in the last twenty-four hours, yet he still has no idea what he’s going to do or what’s the point of anything. He’s just happy he doesn’t have to sleep with creepy old men to make it.</p><p>His thoughts are too loud, because now Party is awake too, and goes to sit next to him. ‘Hey!’</p><p>‘Hey – I can’t sleep.’ Frank says.</p><p>‘Me neither.’</p><p>‘Thanks for saving me.’</p><p>‘Oh – not a problem.’ Party stares at him for the longest time. He has such pretty eyes, but they’re so sad. He wishes he could do something about it. ‘Can I ask where you got that scar?’ he asks, running his finger through a scar on his right cheek.</p><p>Frank flinches and moves away from him. ‘At work.’ That’s true, but Party doesn’t have to know what was his job. One of his clients, a wealthy powerful man, got scared Frank would run around and tell everyone about them, and he tried to cut his tongue, but only got to his cheek before Frank escaped. It’s been a couple years since, but it’s a memory he doesn’t like to revisit. ‘What do you guys do?’ Frank asks out of nowhere, trying to change the subject.</p><p>‘Us? We’re rebels, baby!’</p><p>For some reason, that makes Frank smile. <em>Party </em>makes him smile.</p><p>Party explains what is exactly they do, and what’s their goal. ‘I’m in,’ Frank says.</p><p>‘I was waiting for you to say that. I have a name for you, actually.’</p><p>‘You do?’</p><p>‘Yeah. Fun Ghoul.’</p><p>Frank giggles. ‘What’s that? Why?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I saw it on an old building once and I liked it. It fits you.’</p><p>‘I like it.’</p><p>The next day, Party decides to give Fun Ghoul his own makeover. After adding more red dye to his own hair, he dyes Ghoul’s hair raven black. ‘You look so cute,’ Party says, making him blush.</p><p>They’re all giggles, and joke around, and then one day, out of nowhere, Fun Ghoul leans in and kisses Party. ‘Damn!’ Party says, before kissing him again.</p><p>Fun Ghoul learns how to build bombs from a magazine, and soon he’s able to help more in the gang and join them in missions.</p><p>In the meantime, him and Party get to know each other more and more, staying until late talking, listening to old records. They hold hands and cuddle together every night. And they make a promise to be there until the end. </p><p>‘I used to dream about running away all the time,’ Fun Ghoul says. They’re sleeping naked under the stars. He’s been with a lot of people before, but this was the first time it actually means something, and he wishes he could stay there the whole time. Him and Party. ‘Not anymore.’</p><p>‘I’m glad. Because I’m not letting you get away from me.’ They smile at each other, and kiss tenderly.</p><p>‘I’d run away with you, though. Anywhere you want.’</p><p>‘I like that.’</p><p>‘Maybe one day we can,’ Fun Ghoul says. ‘Once this is all over, war and all of this. We can drive far away from here, just you and me.’</p><p>‘Let’s do that.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Political Statements</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Teachers Frank + Gerard AU</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Teachers Frank + Gerard AU</p><p> </p><p>It's Frank's first day as an English teacher.</p><p> </p><p>Not only he had gotten the job, but apparently he was one of the youngest teachers in the faculty. Oh, and it was at his old high school. A catholic school.</p><p> </p><p>He knows the implications of it, and how there will be even more censorship than in a public school, and he won't be allowed to talk about certain topics, but he'd get paid more. And it was only a temporary job while he got the therapist job he was actually after, where he could actually change kids' lives. In the meantime, he eats his pride, and reminds himself what to talk about in front of these kids.</p><p> </p><p>Surprisingly enough, his first day goes well. The kids behave, and pay attention to most of what he talks about.</p><p> </p><p>During his breaks, he'd sit down and read in the faculty room, mainly to avoid the other teachers. They're all older, and some of them were his teachers when he was a student, so he's scared of them. It's not until his third day that he sees another teacher around his age.</p><p> </p><p>He'd be excited if it wasn't because said teacher is hot as fuck. Jet black hair, and pointy nose. He's wearing jeans and a leather jacket. Frank wonders how he doesn't get in trouble for it, but at the same time, he's glad.</p><p> </p><p>Fuck, it's going to be hard to hide he's a gay teacher in a catholic school.</p><p> </p><p>'Hey, there,' Hot Teacher says as he approaches Frank. 'You're new, right?'</p><p> </p><p>Frank manages to nod. 'Frank. Iero. I teach English 11.'</p><p> </p><p>'Gerard. Art teacher.' He holds out a hand to Frank and they shake. 'Welcome to Our Lady of Sorrows High. I promise it's fun.'</p><p> </p><p>'Oh. I was a student here. I know what can kind of hell it is.' Frank has no idea how he's talking to this hot man, but he is.</p><p> </p><p>'You're right.'</p><p> </p><p>By the end of the week, Gerard convinces him to go with him and other teachers for a drink. 'But I thought drinking was a sin,' Frank says, only half joking.</p><p> </p><p>'Only if you're a teenager. We're allowed, and even encouraged, after putting up with them.' So Frank has no choice. It's a small group. Just Mrs. Bourbon, History teacher, Ms. Lee, Algebra, and Frank and Gerard. The only teachers under forty.</p><p> </p><p>They talk for hours, complaining about the students, and other teachers, and Frank tells them about his own experience when he was younger, and how they almost didn't hire him because of the tattoos. 'I have to keep them covered with makeup.'</p><p> </p><p>'No way,' Ms. Lee says.</p><p> </p><p>At some point, when the girls go to the restroom, Gerard tries to convince Frank to make a move on her, on the simple premise they would look cute together. Frank just laughs. 'I don't think that would work out,' he says.</p><p> </p><p>'What? You're married? I'm sorry, I didn't know!'</p><p> </p><p>'No, it's just –' Frank laughs nervously, not sure how to come out to his coworker. He trusts Gerard, but what if he was one of those people who still believed being gay was wrong? I mean, they worked at a catholic school. 'I don't – women are not my thing?' he says, almost in a whisper.</p><p> </p><p>Without any warning, Gerard just leans in and kisses him. Frank never flinches, he just takes it. It's short, and a second later, they're pulling apart, staring at each other with knowing eyes. 'C'mon! Let's go!' And now Gerard is pulling him inside the men's room, and shoving him to the wall, and then attacking him with his lips. 'I knew it!' he says.</p><p> </p><p>'Is it that obvious?'</p><p> </p><p>'To me it was. But they'll see whatever they want to see. Now shut up and kiss me.'</p><p> </p><p>After that, Frank goes to his place to hook up at least once a week, and then almost every other day, while at school they have to pretend to be just friends. Frank has never been someone's fuck buddy before, but he's okay with it since he's not ready to be out just yet. And he likes Gerard, but has a feeling he only sees him as that.</p><p> </p><p>Then one day, he goes to look for him after school hours so they can leave together, and finds him very focused on a painting. 'Wow! You're good!' he says.</p><p> </p><p>'Thanks! You're ready to go?' Gerard looks excited. 'But before you go, let me show you something.' He hands him his sketchbook, showing him a watercolor painting of him. 'I did it last night.'</p><p> </p><p>Frank is amazed by his talent, but even more by the fact he might like him more than a fuck buddy. 'Wow! I –'</p><p> </p><p>'I just want to let you know this isn't just a hookup for me. I really like you. And I know you're still in the closet and all that, but I still want to be with you. I mean, if you want me to.' He takes a step closer, and reaches for a lock of Frank's hair, locking it behind his ear so he can see his face. 'Is that okay with you?'</p><p> </p><p>Frank nods, and leans in to kiss him. 'I like you, too.'</p><p> </p><p>'You know what? It'd be pretty cool to fuck in the school's restroom. A big fuck you to the homophobes.'</p><p> </p><p>'I like that idea.'</p><p> </p><p>'Let's make a political statement.'</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Already Dead Inside</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW// it makes reference to Frank's accident, so if you don't like that, don't read. Also, mentions of suicide ideation</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sometimes Frank wished he had died.</p><p>Sometimes he felt he had.</p><p>The only thing keeping him alive was his family. His wife and kids were the reason he hadn’t tried to end the job that the accident started. They had already been through a lot, and he knew he’d hurt them again, and he couldn’t do that.</p><p>Also the fact he couldn’t get up on his own to go to the bathroom to get the pills.</p><p>It had been a year since the accident that not only had taken his ability to play, but his dreams and the only way to feel useful. It had fucked up his spine, leaving him in a wheelchair.</p><p>He’d been to many therapists already, but he always ended up yelling at them that they didn’t understand what he was going through, and that he’d rather be dead.</p><p>Jamia had tried everything to cheer him up, but to no end. She even started working from home to take care of him, but they would fight all day, and her boss wasn’t that happy about not having her in the office. So she had no choice but to call the number Frank’s doctor gave her to hire a stay-home nurse. ‘Honey, we need to talk,’ she said, sitting next to him on the couch.</p><p>He couldn’t help missing the days where they could be intimate. Not only his body couldn’t take it, but their relationship was on thin ice, and he was afraid she’d leave him any second. Not that he didn’t deserve it. But she was too good of a woman to leave him when he was at his lowest, and he knew he didn’t deserve her. He put an arm around her, pulling her closer. Her uneasiness made him think this was it, this was the moment she’d tell him she’d find someone else and she was leaving him. Or she’d tell him she wants the divorce. Whatever it was, he was afraid to ask.</p><p>‘First of all, you’re free to say no, but please give this a chance,’ Jamia continued, confusing Frank. ‘I talked to your doctor, and we think it’s best if you have a professional to take care of you. A nurse.’</p><p>‘Oh so is that what I am? I’m too much for you?’ Frank asked, sounding offended. ‘And since when it’s <em>we</em> when you talk to my doctor? I’m no fucking child! I just can’t walk, but why am I not involved in this conversation?’</p><p>Frank was already yelling at her, and she was crying. He had made everything worse. If she hadn’t thought about leaving him before, now she was. ‘Fine. I didn’t want to tell you just yet, but I’m planning on going back to the office. I can’t leave you on your own. That’s why I’m hiring a nurse.’ And with that she left the room.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, he could hear Jamia talking to someone in the living room. He decided to stay in the room all day, with the occasional visit from one of the kids to play with him or Jamia to bring him food. But they didn’t talk to each other.</p><p>The nurse came in the following morning. Her name was Regina, and she was an older woman, probably his mom’s age, but Frank did not like her. She made him eat and she tried to bathe him, she had no sense of humor. Frank begged Jamia to get rid of her, but she wouldn’t listen. It wasn’t until a week later that he made Regina quit because she was tired of his stubbornness. ‘For real, Frank?’ Jamia almost yelled at him. ‘I’m really trying. For the both of us. I can’t stay here all day anymore, and you don’t want me here either. I’m sorry for what happened, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. But we’re all trying.’</p><p>The following morning, they had sent another nurse. For some reason they thought sending a male nurse would be more comfortable for Frank, but when Jamia brought the man in their room to introduce him, Frank didn’t seem to agree. ‘He’s the new nurse?’ he said, pointing to the man in the doorway. He was wearing several layers of coats, and had a chubby face. He seemed harmless. But he wouldn’t let another dude see him naked again.</p><p>‘Yes – and if you make him quit, I swear I’m going to take you to your mom’s house and leave you there.’</p><p>‘Oh, don’t worry, ma’am,’ the nurse said. ‘I have experience with difficult patients. That’s why they sent me.’</p><p>‘So you think I’m difficult?’</p><p>Neither of them answered.</p><p>Jamia helped him to his wheelchair, and out to the living room. ‘I already told Gerard how you like your coffee, and your schedule. He knows way more than I do on the rest, so I’ll leave you two while I take the kids to school.’</p><p>As told, Gerard brought Frank his cup of coffee, in his favorite mug, with a tiny bit of vanilla. ‘You want me to turn on the TV?’ Gerard asked. ‘Or you read the newspaper? Or –’ He was really trying, but Frank just gave him a look. If they thought he was difficult, he’d give him difficult.</p><p>‘This coffee tastes awful,’ he said. ‘Not enough vanilla.’ So Gerard fixed it for him.</p><p>And then he tried to cook him breakfast, and the moment he brought it to Frank he said. ‘Didn’t Jamia told you I’m vegetarian?’</p><p>‘It’s fake bacon.’</p><p>Jamia took an extra two hours to run errands, and to let them get to know each other. It was mostly Gerard sitting across Frank while he watched TV, and Frank giving him a weird look when he thought he’d have to change diapers. ‘Dude, you just have to help me to the bathroom, I can do the rest. Well, you will have to wipe my butt.’ It was uncomfortable, to say the least. Leaning against Gerard while he –</p><p>When Jamia came home, she found them in front of the TV, in silence. It was progress, she thought. She left them to their own devices, trusting Gerard could handle him, and locked herself in her office. In that time, Gerard helped him with his physical therapy, even though Frank insisted it didn’t help anything, and ran a bath for him. Frank told him he could do it by himself, and Gerard just waited outside.</p><p>Frank avoided to look at him while he helped him get dressed. He wasn’t used to someone other than Jamia seeing him naked. ‘Relax,’ Gerard said. ‘This is my job. You know how many flaccid dicks I’ve seen in my life?’</p><p>‘What are you trying to say?!’</p><p>Gerard laughed at his reaction. ‘I’m just kidding, okay? And it’s not like you’re gonna get a boner being with me.’</p><p><em>Of course not, </em>Frank thought, why would he?</p><p>Gerard helped him back to the wheelchair, and took him outside to the backyard. ‘I got some books,’ he told him. ‘In case you wanna read. Or if you want me to get something else for you – a video game, or –’</p><p>‘It’s fine. I’m fine.’ But he didn’t look fine.</p><p>‘Can I say something?’</p><p>‘You’re going to anyway.’</p><p>‘You seem very angry.’</p><p>Frank gave a sarcastic laugh. ‘Wouldn’t you be angry if you were me? If you were destined to be like this for the rest of your life?’</p><p>‘You got a point.’ He didn’t say anything else, and Frank was grateful. People would usually try to say things to make him feel better, but they didn’t understand none of that worked. So it was nice someone agreed with him. He didn’t even seem to feel sorry for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘How was he?’ Jamia asked later that night.</p><p>‘Meh,’ Frank replied with a shrug. ‘He knows how to do his job.’</p><p>‘You seemed to get along.’</p><p>‘No. He just knew when to leave me alone.’ Jamia smiled to herself. Frank would never admit it.</p><p>Over the next few weeks, they followed the same routine, and he’d also take him to physical therapy. They never talked, but the fact Frank let him do his job was enough to show he liked him. In the afternoons, Gerard would make him spend more time with his kids, go outside when they were in the pool, or sit with them to eat and help them with their homework.</p><p>And they could all see a change in Frank’s mood. At least with his kids, he’d make an effort to hang out, and mess around, and often Gerard would find him sleeping in the couch, and one of the kids sleeping next to him, which he found adorable.</p><p>The more comfortable Frank got, the more Gerard would start taking him to the park, or to get a coffee, and they started talking more. Surprisingly, they had a lot of things in common. ‘Thanks,’ Frank said out of nowhere. ‘For helping me.’</p><p>‘Like I said, it’s my job.’</p><p>‘I don’t mean that. I mean I was seriously considering killing myself before you got here.’ Gerard wasn’t expecting that confession. ‘If it wasn’t because I can’t go to the restroom on my own, I would have done it. I was sure Jamia was going to leave me, and I have nothing else. The accident already took away my dream, and the only purpose I had in life. I can’t lose anything more.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to say.</p><p>‘So thank you, for forcing me to see what matters.’ He didn’t need to say another word for Gerard to understand what he meant.</p><p>‘I’m glad I could be of help.’</p><p>They only started to get closer and closer, and one time, as Gerard was putting some clothes on Frank, he noticed his little friend down there going up to say hi. ‘It’s not what it seems,’ he mumbled nervously. ‘I swear.’</p><p>‘I know,’ Gerard assured him. ‘There can actually be many causes for that, you’d be surprised.’ But he couldn’t help wondering.</p><p>A couple days later, he somehow convinced Frank to get in the pool. ‘I’ll hold you.’ As promised, he wrapped his arms around him and carried him around the pool. ‘See? It’s fun!’</p><p>Frank laughed nervously, not letting go of Gerard. And as they reached the other side, holding tight to each other, it happened again. Frank’s erection pressing hard between them.</p><p>This time, he didn’t apologize.</p><p>Instead, he looked up at him for a moment, unsure of what he was thinking, and then pressed his lips against Gerard’s.</p><p>He didn’t know exactly what was happening. He just knew he wanted to kiss him, and now that he’d done it, he realized how great he tasted, and how good it made him feel.</p><p>Until he remembered how wrong it was. He still had a wife – who could be home from work at any moment – and his kids. Then why was he so into his nurse? ‘I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have –,’ Frank said as soon as he pulled away, almost letting go off him, and drowning in the process. But Gerard never let him go. ‘I don’t know why I did it.’</p><p>‘It’s fine. I won’t tell her.’ They didn’t say anything else, and Gerard helped him out of the pool and to the bathtub, giving him his privacy. He heard him cry, but he knew he shouldn’t ask. After that, Frank told him he’d go to bed, so Gerard helped him, and sat outside the door, in case he needed help.</p><p>Frank hated himself for ruining it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Things were just as awkward in the following weeks, and Frank went back to his old depressed self. Gerard just made sure to be around at all times, and hide everything he could harm himself with. He knew there was nothing else he could do.</p><p>Jamia was more worried than ever, but every time she tried to get close, he’d ignore her. ‘I don’t know what else I can do, baby,’ she said. ‘You know I’ve tried everything. I thought me going back to work, and spending time on our own, and you having someone else to take care of you would help. But it hasn’t.’ It broke Frank’s heart to hear that. ‘I’ve noticed your progress, and how you’re closer to the kids now, and you look happier when you’re with them. But between us –’ She reached for his hand and kissed the back of it. ‘I love you so much, and I wish that was enough. But you’re not happy with me anymore –‘</p><p>Frank interrupted her, tears in his eyes. ‘I kissed Gerard.’</p><p>Jamia didn’t know how to answer to that.</p><p>She just pulled him closer into a hug, and let him cry. She’d be lying if she didn’t notice how different he seemed around the new nurse. It had taken some time, but he changed him. She knew Gerard was the reason for his change, that he was the reason for him putting more effort on the kids, and he even made him take up new hobbies.</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ Frank continued between sobs. ‘I’m so sorry – I don’t know why I did it! I ruined things for us –’</p><p>‘You didn’t ruin anything. Maybe I didn’t make an effort to understand how you were feeling, and I don’t blame you hating on everyone.’ She did want to cry, even though she knew things were over a long time ago. Right now, she wanted to be there for him. It was clear he wasn’t taking this whole thing well. ‘Can I ask you something?’ She felt him nodding against her neck. ‘You like him?’</p><p>He pulled away and looked straight in her eye. ‘I don’t know.’</p><p>He had told her he also liked guys a long time ago, back before they even started dating. She wasn’t surprised.</p><p>‘It’s okay if you do.’ There was a long, awkward pause. ‘I noticed you got along well. Maybe I was in denial because I was hoping it’d work out between us.’</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>‘It’s fine. Sometimes relationships don’t work. We can still be friends, can’t we? Maybe we’ll work better as friends. And I’m not telling you to go and get married to the dude, but I honestly hadn’t seen you smile in so long until he came along, and I want to see you happy. So if that’s what it takes.’</p><p>Frank was speechless. Jamia always seemed to know what to say. ‘Why are you so perfect?’</p><p>‘I haven’t figure it out yet.’ She kissed him. ‘And I’m not leaving you, I’m not taking the kids away from you, nor am I throwing you away. We can call it a break, and get to the details later. Is that okay?’</p><p>Frank didn’t know. He didn’t want to break up with her, though she was right. Things weren’t working anymore. And he didn’t have to start anything with Gerard either, but he was free to do so, and that helped.</p><p>He pretended nothing had happened in the next few days, and when Gerard took him to the park, and they sat in front of the pond to see the ducks, he felt it was the right time. ‘You know Jam and I broke up?’ he said, as if it was no big deal.</p><p>‘What?!’</p><p>‘It’s okay. She’s not moving out for now. But we just don’t work together anymore.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s fine. I knew it would happen sometime, but at least we’re in good terms.’</p><p>‘Does she know about the –’</p><p>Frank turned to him. ‘Would it matter if she does?’</p><p>‘I just don’t want her thinking it’s my fault.’</p><p>‘She wouldn’t think that. It stopped working after the accident and with me being an asshole. Besides, if I remember right, I was the one who kissed you. So it’s my fault.’</p><p>‘Doesn’t mean I didn’t want to.’</p><p>That caught Frank off guard. ‘Excuse –’ But he didn’t finish the sentence because Gerard’s lips were on his, his hands cupping his face. It lasted longer than the other one, and Frank could already feel getting hard, which brought a smile to his face. Maybe being alive wasn’t so bad.</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. So Fucking Romantic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>fluff... that's all I'm going to say</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frank was already late to his first lecture of the day. </p><p>Between college and his job at the office supply store, he barely had any time to hang out with his boyfriend Gerard, so he'd been staying at his place for the past couple days, playing video games and cuddling until very late in the night. So now he was an hour late to college.</p><p>But he'd do it again.</p><p>He met Gerard three years ago, when he was just starting college, at one of the events his band played at. They had friends in common, so they started talking and then it had been hours, and they ended up making out in the backseat of his car. From there, they took it slow – Gerard was still in college and living in New York, and Frank was eighteen –, mainly visiting each other every other weekend, or when Gerard attended Frank's shows. Nothing serious. But they'd been together since.</p><p>Through the breakup of Frank's band, and Gerard's grandma dying. That only brought them together, depending on each other to survive. </p><p>Gerard was his first boyfriend, though a couple years older, but they got along just well. Despite being so different, they had some of the same interests, and yeah, Gerard was kind of a nerd – he even played D&amp;D – but Frank didn't mind. Besides, he was kind of a nerd too. </p><p>Now Frank was about to finish college, and he was starting to think about his future. </p><p>Yeah, he was young and broke, but they'd been together long enough, and he was sure about it, more than ever. He'd have to find a place to live soon, anyway. They'd mostly spend time in Gerard's parents' home all day. So why not move in together?</p><p>He had the day off work, so he went apartment hunting around town, before going to Gerard's place. He found him drawing in his room, surrounded by many cans of Dr. Pepper. 'Hey, babe,' Frank said, and give him a kiss. 'I know you haven't eaten anything, so I brought food.'</p><p>'Thanks, babe.' </p><p>Frank sat next to him to see him work. He loved seeing his genius mastermind in process. 'What are you doing?'</p><p>'Just drawing. I had some ideas in my head and had to put them down on paper.'</p><p>'I love them!' </p><p>Frank had to drag him to the dining room, to sit down to eat. They talked about their days, work and school, and then out of nowhere, Frank spilled his plans. 'So –,' he started. 'I'm almost done with school – which means I have to officially move out of the dorm and find somewhere to live.'</p><p>'But I thought you were crashing here –' Gerard answered, oblivious. </p><p>'Which I appreciate. But it's still your parents' house. And though they'd been so cool having me here, you know it's not the same.'</p><p>Gerard nodded, but he did look a little hurt. </p><p>Frank continued. 'I might have found an apartment already.' </p><p>There was a long pause. 'So – you're moving out?'</p><p>'That's the thing – I want to ask you to move in with me.' </p><p>Gerard almost dropped his drink, surprised. 'Are you for real?'</p><p>'Yeah! I mean, we kinda live together already. But it'd be our apartment. I know it's a big step.'</p><p>'Hell, yeah!'</p><p>'Are you sure?'</p><p>'Of course!'</p><p>Two weeks later, Frank went to his last college lecture. Almost a psychology major. </p><p>And what better way to celebrate it than waking up at noon the next day, with the worst hangover, and move to their new place? </p><p>They took everything in Gerard's room, but they still had no couch or table or kitchen appliances. 'I don't give a fuck about any of that,' Frank said. They'd be watching TV in their bedroom, in their bed most of the day anyway. They'd probably eat takeout every day. Frank's mom gave them a coffee maker, which was all they needed. </p><p>They would wake up naked every morning, after having rough and loud sex the night before – Gerard realized that was the best part –, shower together, and go to their respective jobs. Frank knew it would take a while before he got a job in his field, not really sure if that's what he wanted, but at least he had a diploma now. He was an intern at a local music magazine for the time being, and though he didn't get paid, his benefits consisted of going to many local concerts, and meeting bands. He had to get a weekend job as bartender, though. </p><p>He'd stop for food on his way home, knowing Gerard was never hungry and too focused on drawing to think about food. When he made it home, they'd have dinner, sitting in the carpet, listening to music, and talking about their day, wearing only boxers, just because they could. </p><p>They'd make out, watch a movie or two, and then have sex again before going to bed. Living together was the best thing that could have happened to Frank.</p><p>Over the next few months, he made friends with this girl from the office, Jamia, and thanks to her, they promoted him and started planning events along with her. He had an official job now, and was getting paid! He was thinking about starting another band, but he didn't have the time just yet. </p><p>They had finally got a couch from one of their friends, and a cheap table from the thrift store. Their apartment was slowly becoming a home.</p><p>But more importantly, coming home to Gerard, and being able to sleep with him every night was the best part. 'I really like this,' Gerard said, out of nowhere, an arm around Frank as they cuddled after having fucked. They were still vibrating from their orgasm, and all sticky. Frank looked up at him. </p><p>'Oh yeah.'</p><p>'You and me, like this for the end of time.'</p><p>'I guess I like it too.'</p><p>'Would you marry me?' Gerard asked, just like that. A naked and sweaty engagement.</p><p>'Are you kidding me? Of course!' They started kissing, Gerard getting on top of Frank. 'I was thinking about buying an engagement ring next week.'</p><p>'Don't. I don't need it. You know what's better than an engagement ring?' Gerard whispered in his ear. 'Me coming inside you.'</p><p>'Oh, please! You're so fucking romantic!'</p><p>Both their families insisted on celebrating the occasion, but they insisted they were okay. They were too busy to travel to their hometown for a family gathering anyway. </p><p>But that only meant they waited a few more weeks to throw them an engagement party. Gerard's mom invited Frank's family, threw a whole barbeque – with vegetarian options, of course. She had Frank living there long enough to know some recipes. </p><p>'I can't believe my baby's getting married!' Frank's mom said, crying her eyes out. </p><p>'It won't be for a few months, mom!' he said, blushing, and taking a seat on Gerard's lap. The scene looked kind of funny really, with Frank wearing a hoodie and his skeleton gloves, looking more like a ten-year-old sitting in Gerard's lap than his fiancé. 'We need money first.'</p><p>'Can we ask who asked who?' Mikey said, knowing that would make everyone uncomfortable, especially since he already knew the answer. Gerard called him hours later to tell him. </p><p>'He did,' Frank admitted.</p><p>'And where's the ring, then?' Mikey said, instigating. </p><p>'There's no ring. He just asked.' </p><p>'It was fucking romantic, okay!' Gerard assured and they laughed.</p><p>Only days later, when Frank went back to work, he was met with Jamia crying in her cubicle. 'Hey – what's wrong?' he asked. 'Sorry I couldn't get back to you over the weekend. I was staying at his parents' place and they have the worst reception –'</p><p>'Now I feel worse.'</p><p>'Hey, stop that! Let's go somewhere else.' Frank asked their boss to let them go on their break earlier because they had an emergency, and he told them they could take the day off. So Frank took her to the café across the street, and they sat far away from everyone. He kept asking her what was wrong. 'I can't see you like this!' he said.</p><p>'I'm pregnant.'</p><p>Frank didn't know what to say. As far as he knew she didn't have a boyfriend, so he was afraid she was sleeping with someone who probably didn't want her to have the baby. </p><p>'I can't have this baby – it's not even about who's the father, but I'm finally getting promoted, and have enough money to make it. I can't have a baby like this.'</p><p>'I understand.' He comforted her as much as he could, knowing there was nothing he could say to make her feel better. </p><p>She told him about that night they went for drinks with one of the bands. 'Remember the douchebag drummer?'</p><p>'Him?' Frank tried not to sound disappointed. </p><p>She just nodded and started crying again. 'I can't have it! But I don't want to have an abortion either.' </p><p>'You know there are other options, right? We can go talk to someone to give you more information.'</p><p>'I would love that.'</p><p>So Frank promised to take her to talk to an expert the following morning. But all day, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He stayed up all night wondering why some people get pregnant even though they don't want kids, and others can't. </p><p>He hadn't told Gerard that he wanted kids one day. He knew they were young still, and hadn't gotten married yet, but he'd always dreamed about having as many kids as possible. </p><p>He turned to Gerard, sleeping by his side, and knew he couldn't have chosen a better person to be with for the rest of his life, but wished they could just have kids like everyone else. </p><p>'Gee,' he blurted out during breakfast the next morning. 'What do you think about kids?'</p><p>'Kids?'</p><p>'Yeah – like, in the future, would you want kids?'</p><p>'With you? Absolutely!'</p><p>That made Frank smile.</p><p>'But why are you asking that? Are you pregnant, or what?'</p><p>'No – but someone from the office is, and it got me thinking. It's nothing really.' Gerard knew by his frown that it wasn't nothing. </p><p>Frank left minutes later to meet with Jamia and the agency lady. As expected, when they walked in the office, she thought they were a couple. 'No – I'm just her friend,' he said. And so the lady started explaining the different options she had. She gave them brochures of different adoption processes, and told Jamia she could sleep on it, take her time.</p><p>Then Frank interrupted. 'What if there was someone already interested in taking care of the kid?'</p><p>Both Jamia and the agent gave him a look. 'If it's someone she knows,' she said. 'It would depend on whether she's okay with it. In a lot of cases, the mothers don't want to be involved in the child's life in anyway. You know of someone, Mr. – '</p><p>'Iero. And yes – my partner and I – we've talked about having kids.' He didn't mention they had just talked about it an hour ago. 'I'm gay, by the way. So obviously, we would have to consider adoption.' He then turned to Jamia, who'd been starting at him, speechless. 'It's up to you, and I don't want to make you change your opinion. But it would mean the world if you let me give the baby a family.'</p><p>'I – I don't know what to say.' She smiled. That gave Frank some hope. 'You know there's no one I trust more than you, the fact that you're here is proof enough. And I know that if I want this baby to grow up with two amazing, loving parents, you and Gerard are my first choice.'</p><p>'Are you serious?!' Frank couldn't believe it. </p><p>'Of course!' </p><p>'Oh my –' Frank was already crying, and Jamia had to comfort him. </p><p>'Now –' the agent interrupted. 'The only requirement for you to adopt as a couple is for you to be married.'</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>They were planning to do so, but not until maybe a year or two in the future. They had seven months before the baby was born.</p><p>Now he'd just have to tell Gerard.</p><p>Surprisingly, he took it well. </p><p>Jamia was there to share the news. 'I wasn't planning on being a dad so soon, but I guess it's the same for many men. But yeah, I'm in.'</p><p>'You guys are having a baby!' Jamia said, all excited for them.</p><p>They got married a couple months later, without a lot of planning ahead. </p><p>They let Jamia be in charge two weeks before the date, because they didn't want a big wedding. She booked a bar, hired one of their friends who had a license to officiate weddings, and Frank's friends to play at the reception. </p><p>Frank wore a Misfits t-shirt under an old gray blazer, and jeans, while Gerard went for an over-sized suit, with the shirt untucked. Frank cried more than his mom when Gerard put the ring on his finger, unable to believe he was marrying the love of his life. </p><p>The sex after the wedding was even better than before, and they didn't stop until they literally couldn't move anymore. </p><p>'We're going to be dads,' Frank said as they were falling asleep.</p><p>'We're going to be dads!'</p><p>They would text Jamia all day to check on her, knowing she could give birth at any moment. In their excitement, they had bought everything from every baby store, and had a bag and carrier ready by the door for when the moment came. </p><p>One day at two in the morning, Frank got a call. 'It's coming.'</p><p>They drove to the hospital, panicking the entire time, still wearing PJs. They made it just in time. They were already crying, standing next to Jamia, waiting for the contractions. 'Good news, boys,' the doctor said. 'You're having twins.'</p><p>'What?!' Frank almost yelled, and Gerard had to hold him or he'd pass out. 'I'm not ready!'</p><p>Half an hour later, Cherry and Lily Iero-Way were born and welcomed into the arms of their dads.</p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. I'm Not a Hooker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>NSFW<br/>some bdsm</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gerard had noticed him a while back.</p><p>The short guy with the sad eyes.</p><p>He would always come in with a bunch of other men, holding hands with one of them, always someone different. He’d sometimes wear a dress, but his posture gave him away.</p><p>Gerard tried not to be too obvious, though. He didn’t want to be the creepy bartender staring for hours. Especially not when the boy would approach every now and then to get beers and drinks for his companions.</p><p>That day the boy was wearing a plaid shirt over a Star Wars tee, his hair covering half his face, but he still looked as pretty as always. ‘Nice shirt,’ Gerard said, unable to help himself. He was a big nerd himself.</p><p>‘Thanks,’ the boy answered.</p><p>Gerard served him the shots he ordered, hoping the dim lights would hide his blushed face. ‘Are you even old enough to buy alcohol?’ He really hoped he wasn’t into a child with a fake ID to get in. The boy didn’t answer, and just showed him his very authentic ID, showing he was in fact twenty-two. ‘Frank, huh?’ He handed him a tray with all the drinks. ‘Good luck with your friends.’</p><p>Throughout the night, he saw as Frank was making out with one of the men, probably twice his age, already drunk as hell, and saw how the man had to pretty much drag him out of the bar later.</p><p>Every time, it was the same. Frank would get so drunk he was pretty much giving blowjobs in the middle of the bar, or getting beaten up, or just left to his luck. Gerard knew better. It was clear what Frank was, yet he felt the need to save him, even though he knew he’d get in trouble with his boss.</p><p>One night, he found him, lying on the floor, passed out.</p><p>He noticed the pink panties he was wearing underneath his baggy jeans. He also noticed he had a black eye, and a swollen lip, and couldn’t help wondering what he had gotten himself into. ‘Hey, Frank,’ he whispered, helping him sit up. ‘You need a ride home?’</p><p>Frank was still unconscious.</p><p>Gerard tried to help him up, and thankfully he was kind of small so he wasn’t that heavy.</p><p>Gerard knew the security staff could get him a cab, but he was leaving anyway, so he didn’t mind taking Frank home.</p><p>He carried him to the parking lot, straight to his car, and helped him to the backseat. He took his wallet from his back pocket, but Frank didn’t even move. ‘Sorry, I need your address,’ Gerard said, though Frank wasn’t listening. Then, he wrote the address in the ID into his phone’s GPS, and put the wallet back in Frank’s pocket.</p><p>It wasn’t too far from the bar, though the neighborhood was kind of scary.</p><p>‘C’mon, Frank,’ he said, helping him out of the car, and walked him to his apartment building. With Frank’s arm around him for support, they went up to the third floor, and at least Frank was able to get his keys out and open the door.</p><p>Gerard thought his work was done, but no. Frank pulled him inside, pushing him to the wall once they were inside, and crashing his lips against his. ‘I’m sorry – no, we cannot do this,’ Gerard said, even though he’d been thinking about kissing him for a while. ‘You’re too drunk.’</p><p>Frank reacted, and pulled away, looking sad.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I don’t mean it like that. I mean, you’re super cute. But I’m not going to do it while you’re like this.’</p><p>Frank blushed, despite being half conscious only. ‘You can crash in the couch if you want,’ Frank said, and walked away to his room. Gerard had not choice but to stay. It seem rude to leave him. And to be honest, he was pretty tired. He could just leave early in the morning, when they were both conscious.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gerard woke up to loud noises in the kitchen, and the smell of coffee and cigarettes.</p><p>For a moment, he was confused. He thought someone had broken in his house and was making him breakfast. Then he opened his eyes and remembered. He was in that boy’s couch.</p><p>He got up, and walked to the kitchen, to find Frank in a long shirt – more like a camisole – cooking something and smoking. He almost jumped when he noticed Gerard. ‘Shit, you scared me!’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’ Under the kitchen’s light, he finally saw the boy in all his glory. He had somewhat of a mop for hair, with some bleached tips strips here and there, and scruffy face. And despite his black eye, he was hot. ‘Thanks for letting me crash, by the way. I was really tired.’</p><p>‘Thanks for bringing me home in one piece.’ Frank continued cooking. ‘And please tell me I didn’t get handsy with you.’</p><p>Gerard was afraid to tell him the truth. ‘No, you were too drunk.’</p><p>‘Good.’ There was a brief moment of silence. ‘I’m making breakfast if you wanna stay.’ Gerard felt bad for the guy. How lonely did he have to be to let him crash and invite him to stay for breakfast?</p><p>They sat at the table, and off the bat, Frank said, ‘I’m not a hooker, by the way.’ Gerard didn’t know what to say. That was exactly what he thought he was, but he would never mention it. ‘I know that’s what you think. And I don’t blame you. You’ve seen a part of me that almost no one has ever seen.’</p><p>Gerard nodded.</p><p>‘I’m just – lonely sometimes. So I try to make friends.’</p><p>The way he said it, made Gerard’s heart break, and he couldn’t help it. ‘Friends who beat you?’</p><p>‘Oh, no. I like it.’ Gerard didn’t answer, but his expression was enough. ‘I’m a – masochist.’</p><p>That didn’t do much for Gerard. He was still confused.</p><p>‘It gives me pleasure when people hit me.’</p><p>‘But what about humiliation? In front of others?’</p><p>‘I like that.’</p><p>Sick little fuck, Gerard thought.</p><p>‘And that older dude that was with me a couple times at the bar?’ Frank continued. ‘He used to be my master.’ Frank couldn’t help laughing at Gerard’s reaction. ‘You know? We were in a relationship, he owned me. But he’s married, and his wife caught us so now we can’t be together anymore.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s okay.’</p><p>There was more very uncomfortable silence. ‘So, you wanna watch a movie?’ Frank asked as if it was the most normal thing after admitting to a stranger he was a masochist submissive.</p><p>Gerard felt he had to. They sat to watch Ed Wood, and fifteen minutes into it, Gerard felt Frank’s hand cupping his dick over his jeans. He didn’t flinch or jumped off the couch, but thrust his hips against his hand instead.</p><p>Frank undid Gerard’s belt, and then his jeans, sliding his hand in his underwear, making Gerard moan at the contact. Frank pumped him until he made him come, and then some more.</p><p>Then it was Gerard’s turn to reach under Frank’s shirt, only to discover he was not wearing underwear, and he was met with Frank’s erection.</p><p>They kissed, moaning in each other’s mouths until the movie was over.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Halfway through Gerard’s shift that night, Frank showed up, wearing his Doc Martens, and a pink Peter Pan collar dress, and walked straight to Gerard’s station. ‘You wanna come over tonight?’ he asked.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help smiling, and nodded. ‘It’ll have to wait, though,’ he said. ‘My shift’s not over until three hours from now.’</p><p>‘Don’t worry. I’ll wait.’ Frank sat in front of him.</p><p>‘Aren’t you gonna –’</p><p>‘No. I don’t need to. I’ll have you all night.’</p><p>Unable to wait until later, Gerard went to the restroom, Frank quickly following him. They got in one of the stalls where Gerard fucked Frank’s mouth.</p><p>Later, at Frank’s place, they went straight to the bedroom, where Gerard took all his clothes off immediately, but begged Frank not to take off the dress. ‘You look so pretty,’ he said. He took off Frank’s panties, and just took in his beauty. How the dress highlighted all his features, while a hard cock was hiding under it. He loved that.</p><p>Without asking, he took all of Frank’s erection in his mouth, licking the tip when he got to it, making sure Frank was moaning loud.</p><p>When he sat back up, he asked Frank where he kept the lube and the condoms, and he quickly gave Gerard what he wanted. ‘Before you start,’ Frank said, and then reached for his drawer, taking out a red leather collar, with a plaque hanging from it, and a leash. ‘You can say no, but it would mean a lot if you let me be your pet.’</p><p>Gerard just stared at him. He thought that would kill the vibe, but no, he was harder than ever. ‘What does it mean?’</p><p>‘It means you own me. Until you don’t want me, of course.’ Gerard looked at the plaque, with Frank’s name engraved on it. ‘I can be whatever you want, whenever you want. Your sex slave, if you allow me to. Just ask, and I’ll do it.’</p><p>Gerard wasn’t so sure about it. ‘But if I tell you, you can just be yourself around me, do whatever you want, is that okay?’</p><p>‘If that’s what you want, master.’</p><p>He kinda liked the sound of it. ‘But I’ll never hurt you, is that okay?’</p><p>Frank nodded. He appreciated the thought, though he’ll find a way to convince him to at least do it in bed. Gerard put the collar on, and hooked the leash on the ring. ‘Am I a good boy?’</p><p>‘You’re a good boy.’ Gerard coated his fingers with lube, and inserted them one by one on Frank’s hole, stretching him. He waited for Frank to beg him to fuck him, but he never did. So, he pulled from the leash. ‘You want to be fucked?’</p><p>‘Yes, master.’ And so Gerard pushed himself into Frank’s entrance, and thrusted in and out, until the boy in the dress was coming. Gerard came soon after.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, during breakfast, Frank was still wearing the collar, turning Gerard on. He had never been this horny. He went to get a condom, rolled down his pajama pants and put it on, and took Frank in his arms, his back pressed against Gerard’s front, and aligned his whole to his erection.</p><p>It took Frank a little to adjust to it, but then he was straddling him, while Gerard reached for his member and pumped him to the same rhythm. Soon, they were both coming, while their coffee went cold.</p><p>‘I think I’m gonna get used to this,’ Gerard said in Frank’s ear.</p><p>‘Yeah, me too.’</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Parades of Passion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>telenovela AU</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Congratulations, my love,’ Frank’s mother said.</p><p>It was his engagement night with Bob, and his family had thrown a party almost as big as an actual wedding reception. Frank knew it was more about his parents being business partners with Bob’s parents, but that didn’t mean they didn’t love each other.</p><p>They knew each other pretty much their entire lives, and when they first started dating at fifteen – it was more like friends with benefits – their parents made a promise to join their law firms and wealth once they got married.</p><p>So that day had come.</p><p>‘Is everything okay?’ Bob asked, taking his fiancé’s hand in his.</p><p>‘Yeah – just nervous. I wasn’t born to be a housewife.’</p><p>‘What are you talking about? If anything, I’m going to be the housewife in this equation. At least you finished law school, and have a job at your dad’s firm.’</p><p>‘You mean <em>our </em>firm?’</p><p>‘Whatever. I’m just lucky I don’t have to work another day of my life.’</p><p>‘I thought you were with me because you loved me.’</p><p>‘Of course I do, but I rather have ten kids and take care of them than working with my dad.’</p><p>‘And I love you for that.’</p><p>The festivities continued for many hours, even though Frank and Bob left early for their own celebration.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was already a bad day for Frank, and it wasn’t even seven in the morning. He had dropped his coffee, spilling all over his expensive shirt, leaving a mess of ceramic pieces on the floor, and cutting his finger in the process. Then, just down the road, his Mercedes Benz broke down, and with no way his mechanic would come an fix it in the next hour, he had to leave it to his dad’s chauffer to take it back home, and take a cab to get to work on time for his meeting.</p><p>Due to the traffic, the cab dropped him off a block away from the building and he had to walk the rest. But Frank was so stressed about the past hour, and being late, and the clients he was meeting later, that he didn’t see the guy walking by as he ran to his destination. Frank turned around to apologize, and saw the guy on the floor, empty plastic cups and spilled juice everywhere. ‘What the f –,’ the boy said when he hit his face on the concrete.</p><p>‘I’m so sorry,’ Frank said, helping him get up.</p><p>‘My boss is gonna give me shit for it, dude!’</p><p>‘I can pay you whatever those juices were worth.’ Then he looked up at the boy. He was taller than him, but not by much and had his hair dyed silver. And he was beautiful. ‘I’m so sorry about your face,’ he said noticing the scratch on his left cheek.</p><p>‘It’s fine. I –’</p><p>‘You know what? I really don’t have time right now, but come with me, and I’ll tell my secretary to write you a check and give you something for the wound.’</p><p>‘I’m fine, really.’</p><p>‘No – I feel bad for leaving you like that. C’mon.’ Frank didn’t know why he felt so guilty, but he wanted to help him. He told Esmeralda to give him money, and let him use the bathroom to clean his face, and told the boy goodbye before running to the meeting room.</p><p>He had completely forgotten about how crappy his day had been, though.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next morning, when he made it to his office and found a cup of green juice in his desk, with a note that said. ‘Thanks for your kindness. Gerard.’</p><p>So that was his name.</p><p>The next morning, Gerard was selling juices outside his office. ‘What a coincidence!’ Frank said. It was definitely not a coincidence.</p><p>‘Nice to see you again, Mr. – ’</p><p>‘Iero. But call me Frank, please.’ Frank gladly bought a green juice from him. And the next day, too, and the next. They both got excited as soon as they saw each other, and Frank hated to admit he hadn’t felt like that in a while. Gerard would sometimes give him a ride home, or sit with him during his break at the cafeteria and talk about art. Sometimes Gerard would draw little cartoon vampires on his napkin, which Frank found adorable.</p><p>He knew he was engaged, and that his father’s business depended on that, but he realized he wasn’t in love with Bob. He was falling in love with Gerard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he came home one day to Bob throwing a tantrum because he had found one of the napkins with a little note that said <em>I like you a lot, Frank, </em>he knew what was coming. Bob told him he knew he was cheating on him, and even though Frank tried to tell him he wasn’t, Bob wouldn’t listen.</p><p>‘I think it’s time we take a break,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘You’re going after him, aren’t you?’ Bob yelled.</p><p>He was, but he wasn’t going to tell him. ‘I think we should ask whether we’re meant for each other or we’re just doing it because our dads.’</p><p>‘No! if I don’t have you, nobody else will.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank got a bouquet of flowers, and when he approached Gerard to buy his juice, he gave him the flowers.</p><p>Gerard almost dropped the tray out of excitement, but Frank helped him before he had another accident. ‘You want to go on a date?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘For real? You’re asking me? You’re like a rich dude! I sell juice on the street!’</p><p>‘I don’t care.’ Frank picked him up later that night. Gerard was wearing jeans and a dress shirt he borrowed from his dad. Frank brought the chauffer that night, and took Gerard to one of those expensive restaurants where they set three different forks on the table.</p><p>‘I’ve never been to one of these places,’ Gerard admitted.</p><p>‘It’s okay.’ That will make it more fun, Frank thought. And indeed. Gerard was loud. He knew everyone in that restaurant could hear him talk about Bowie and aliens, but he loved that about Gerard. Halfway through dinner, he paid, and told Gerard to go somewhere else to eat. So Gerard took him to a taco stand nearby, and then to have beers with his nerdy friends. Frank was having more fun than ever.</p><p>Dating Gerard made him feel free and adventurous. He had never had so much fun, being spontaneous. His entire life was planned. This is what Frank needed.</p><p>Obviously, when he brought Gerard home to introduce him to his parents, and to tell them he was planning on marrying him, they weren’t okay with it. He was from a poor family, with no name, who belonged in the streets. ‘If you stay with him,’ his father said, ‘You won’t get my money, or the firm, and you’re out of the house.’</p><p>‘Fine,’ Frank replied and walked out with Gerard, who invited him to stay with him at his mom’s house while he found something.</p><p>With no money, and no chance to give his dad’s firm as reference, Gerard got him a job at the club he worked at as bartender. They made him wear a black marching band jacket as uniform, which he hated and made him look ridiculous. ‘You look cute,’ Gerard told him, but Frank didn’t believe it one bit.</p><p>And to make matters even worse, one day Bob showed up at the club. ‘That’s exactly how I wanted to find you, Frankie,’ he said, almost smiling at Frank moping the floors. ‘Look, the son of one of the wealthiest men in the city. Moping floors like a little bitch.’</p><p>Frank almost jumped over the counter to beat his ass, but Gerard got there just in time to stop him. ‘You’re going to get yourself fired!’</p><p>‘Just get him out of here.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t say anything, just looked at the stranger in front of him, and wondered who he was, and why did Frank wanted to beat him up. But he took him out of the building. ‘You know your little boyfriend over there was engaged to me?’</p><p>‘I don’t give a fuck who you are. You don’t deserve him anyway.’ And with that, he walked back inside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A year later, Frank had finally gotten a job as a lawyer, thanks to one of his boss’ friends. He didn’t make as much money as if he’d work at his dad’s firm, but it was enough to move to their own little house. Gerard and him got a dog, and they had a happy life.</p><p>And then, he ran into his dad one day at court.</p><p>It was the first time they saw each other in over a year, and Frank did his best not to cry. ‘How are you?’ his dad asked, as if nothing happened.</p><p>‘I’m good. Me and Gerard just moved into our own house.’</p><p>‘You’re still with him?’</p><p>Frank nodded.</p><p>‘Your mom misses you. She wants to see you.’</p><p>‘Tell her I’m fine.’ He was about to turn around and leave, but came back to say one last thing. ‘Oh, and you guys are invited to our wedding next month.’</p><p>When the day came, Frank was really nervous.</p><p>It was a simple wedding. They got married at their local church, and it was mainly Gerard’s family and their friends. But Frank’s face lit up when he saw both his parents arrive at the church just in time. ‘You want to walk me in?’ he asked his mom.</p><p>‘That’s been my life long dream.’</p><p>And so Frank and Gerard stood by the altar, said their wedding vows, and even though their marriage wouldn’t unite two powerful firms into one making them millionaires, they were happy to just go home with their dog.</p><p>‘I pronounce you man and husband. You may kiss the groom.’</p><p> </p><p>FIN</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Cook Needed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Just like every morning, Gerard got to the café at six in the morning, and started getting ready to open. It had been almost a year since he had opened his own business, his life-long dream, and though it was harder than he thought, he knew it was a big accomplishment.</p><p>Every morning, him and Paco, his cook, would get ready to open at seven. A flood of people would stop for coffee, some would sit and read the paper or a book. Families would come in to spend time together. Gerard knew all his regulars by first name, and where they worked or what they did for a living. He liked how it felt like a big family, and was proud of what he had built.</p><p>He hadn’t found someone he trust enough to be in charge of the café along with him, so he worked from open to close, every day. Sometimes doing cash register, serving, and even cooking when he was short-staffed. But he knew that was the price he had to pay.</p><p>That day, after the lunch rush, his brother Mikey called him – Gerard was glad he knew when not to bother him –. ‘Hey, idiot,’ Mikey said.</p><p>‘What’s up, man?’</p><p>‘How are you doing?’</p><p>‘Stressed?’ Gerard replied as he cleaned the counter.</p><p>‘Hey – have you got a new cook for the night shift yet?’</p><p>‘No, no. You need a job again?’</p><p>‘Oh, no. It’s not for me. A buddy of mine, we used to work together a while ago, so I know he’s good.’</p><p>‘Well – tell him he can come anytime.’</p><p>Barely a couple hours later, the door to the café opened, and a short guy with a mustache came in. ‘Welcome to Umbrella Café, how can I help you?’ Gerard said. They were slow, and Gracie, the cashier was cleaning tables, so Gerard was doing register.</p><p>‘I’m looking for Gerard?’ the guy said.</p><p>‘Oh, yeah – that’s me.’</p><p>‘I’m Frank. Your brother sent me. About the job?’ Oh. So that was the new cook? He was cute.</p><p>‘Nice to meet you,’ he said, shaking his hand. ‘Hey, Gracie. Can you take over me? I have an interview.’ The girl did as she was told and Gerard and Frank took a seat in one of the booths. ‘Okay – thanks for coming.’</p><p>‘It’s fine. Thanks for the offer. I really need a job.’</p><p>‘You’ve worked as a cook before?’</p><p>‘A lot.’ He handed him a resume, with a long list of restaurants he’d worked over the past six, seven years.</p><p>‘This is great.’</p><p>‘You look tired.’</p><p>‘Huh?’ Gerard looked up from the resume.</p><p>‘Are you okay?’</p><p>‘Yeah – just stressed. You know, being short staffed and all. When can you start?’</p><p>‘As soon as you need me.’</p><p>‘Tonight?’</p><p>***</p><p>‘So – we mainly sell sandwiches and pastries, cakes and all that. So your job is to just make sandwiches. Pretty easy,’ Gerard said, showing him to the kitchen. It was small, but functional enough. He showed him the menu on top of the counter where it showed what came in every sandwich. Frank just nodded. ‘I’m sorry this isn’t anything fancy like you’re used to. I’m sure you’re over skilled for just making sandwiches.’</p><p>‘It’s fine,’ Frank said smiling.</p><p>Gerard went over the pay, and the schedule, while Frank agreed to everything he said. He introduced him to Gracie, and Julio, the night shift server. ‘We close Mondays, and on Sundays, we’re only open from nine to six.’</p><p>‘Sounds good.’</p><p>Fortunately, it was slow the rest of the day, so they had time to go over the rest of the training in between orders. Gerard figured Frank had enough experience to start right away, but he still wanted to make sure he knew everything about each recipe. Every item on the menu was carefully planned, and Gerard had put a lot of work into it, so he wanted it to be perfect. But Frank was a pro at his job, and understood.</p><p>While Frank was making sandwiches, and putting another loaf of bread on the oven, Gerard would go over business stuff on the other side of the counter, overlooking the kitchen. ‘When it gets slow, you can just make yourself something if you’re hungry,’ he told Frank.</p><p>‘Thanks.’</p><p>At the end of the day, Frank starting taking down everything, and cleaning. Gerard didn’t even need to tell him how to close kitchen, he seemed to know already. He’d have to thank his brother for sending someone who actually worked.</p><p>Gracie and Julio had left a while ago, and Gerard was still closing, leaving everything ready for the next morning. When he walked outside through the back, Frank was still there, smoking. ‘I thought you’d already left,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘I just wanted to thank you for the job.’ Frank took a drag off his cigarette, and continued. ‘I needed it.’ He had already said it many times, but Gerard thought he was just nice.</p><p>‘I really needed a cook, so – thank you.’</p><p>‘So – see you tomorrow?’</p><p>‘Yup. Two o’clock?’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank was there on time. And working hard the minute he clocked in. He kept the kitchen clean, and even helped on front when it was needed. And at the end of the night, he’d always play music while closing, and when he was done, Gerard would always find him outside, smoking. Almost as if he was waiting for him.</p><p>After a couple weeks, he dared to ask Gerard if he had any vegetarian or vegan options on the menu, even though he obviously knew there weren’t any. ‘Not really – why?’</p><p>‘Because vegetarian and vegan people exist, and I think that would be a great addition to the menu.’ Gerard gave him a look. ‘Don’t worry, I know a few recipes. I’m a vegetarian myself.’</p><p>‘Oh.’</p><p>Gerard was kinda shocked. He didn’t look like someone who’d be vegetarian, though again with that mustache he was probably a hipster or something like that. But Gerard realized he’d never seen him eat a lot there. But he trusted Frank.</p><p>And he was right. Over the following week, they added salads, veggie sandwiches and soups, among other items, and they turned out to be quite popular.</p><p>When he found Frank outside smoking, he asked him if he could have a cigarette, and Frank gave him one. ‘I would never think you smoked,’ he said.</p><p>‘I would never think you’re a vegetarian,’ Gerard replied.</p><p>‘Is it the douchey look?’ Gerard laughed. ‘I get that a lot.’ To be honest, Frank was the straightest looking dude he’d met, which was sad because he was hot, with all the tattoos and just in general.</p><p>‘Thanks for the help with the menu, by the way.’</p><p>‘Of course. I just thought it was kind of weird you didn’t serve any veggie options in a place like this.’</p><p>‘A place like this?’</p><p>‘Yeah – the sort of place soccer moms come to, with their gluten-allergic children.’ Gerard laughed again at the accuracy of the statement.</p><p>‘You’re right.’</p><p>‘Okay,’ Frank said. ‘See you tomorrow, then.’ He threw the butt of his cigarette to the floor, and started walking down the street towards the train station.</p><p>‘Frank, you need a ride?’ Frank shrugged, and followed Gerard to his car. They didn’t talk much, other than Frank giving him his address, and telling him how to get there. They made it to an apartment building just outside the city. ‘So this is where you live?’</p><p>‘I’m crashing on my friend’s couch,’ he said, almost embarrassed. ‘For the time being.’</p><p>Gerard understood that’s why he needed the job, but he didn’t want to ask further. ‘Thank you.’</p><p> </p><p>It became a routine. Every night, going out for a smoke after closing, talking about stupid stuff, nothing important. Over the weeks, they started to get to know each other better. Gerard learned that Frank played in a band on the weekends – he sometimes had to drop him off at the venue, instead of his friend’s apartment – and that he had just come out of a relationship, and that’s why he didn’t have his own place yet. ‘I lived with her for like three years –,’ Frank said, sounding a little sad.</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s fine. I’m over it.’ Yet his eyes were glassy, as if he was holding in the tears. ‘I think so.’</p><p>Gerard talked about the café, mainly. ‘I don’t really have a lot going on lately. I’m working all day.’</p><p>‘Mikey told me you went to art school?’</p><p>‘Oh yeah – to make comic books. But that didn’t work out.’</p><p>‘Comic books? You don’t seem the comic book type?’</p><p>‘You’re the first person who mentions it.’</p><p>They started becoming friends soon, joking around all day, and Gerard was glad he didn’t look sad anymore.</p><p>‘Hey –,’ Frank said after taking a drag of his cigarette. ‘My band is playing tonight. You wanna come?’ Gerard wasn’t the kind to go out, and he was too tired, and though he didn’t say a word, Frank knew he was about to protest. ‘You need it. You’re working all the time! How often you have fun?’</p><p>Gerard knew he was right. And he knew that it was important to him. And yes, he liked him, even though he knew Frank was straight. ‘Okay.’</p><p>They barely made it on time, and Frank had to run backstage to get ready, leaving Gerard on his own.</p><p>The audience was filled with teenagers, making Gerard feel awkward and old, so he got himself a drink, and stood by the corner waiting for Frank’s band to come out.</p><p>He didn’t know what to expect, but he for sure didn’t expect Frank singing – almost yelling, to be honest –, delivering such chaotic energy onstage. The version of Frank he knew was a little shy, though it was clear he had a lot to say. But he never imagined <em>this </em>was inside.</p><p>And he could really sing.</p><p>Wow!</p><p>Gerard was speechless.</p><p>He was amazed by Frank’s passion, playing guitar, moving around the stage, making the audience sing. Gerard could feel every emotion Frank was singing, and he was glad he could finally see that part of Frank. He belonged up there.</p><p>When the set was over, and the band walked off stage, Gerard took a seat to wait for Frank. He knew it’d take a while. Frank would probably be celebrating with his bandmates, or saying hi to their fans. But less than ten minutes later, he saw him approaching, high fiving a group of kids nearby. ‘Hey –,’ Frank said, sitting next to Gerard.</p><p>‘That was – fucking amazing!’</p><p>‘Thank you!’ There he was, that shy version of Frank, smiling at him. He knew he shouldn’t be falling for him but it was too late.</p><p>‘For real!’ Gerard managed to say, despite what was going on in his head and all the emotions inside. ‘Not that I doubted you, but I never thought you had that in you. Like all that energy, and your talent – I loved it!’</p><p>‘Thank you! It really means a lot!’ There was a long moment in which neither of them said anything, yet Gerard knew Frank was drunk, which was weird cause he only had fifteen minutes before the show, and ten minutes after. But maybe that’s why he could perform like that, Gerard thought. And to celebrate, he ordered two more drinks for them, and then two more. They started talking about music, and then work and their teenagers years, and the most random things they’ve seen online. Frank was giggling, and Gerard liked making him laugh so he kept talking, embarrassing himself.</p><p>At some point, they went out for a cigarette, but their conversation continued. ‘Yeah, but that’s not the point of the book,’ Frank said. ‘The point is no matter if you’re the chosen one, your fate still depends on your friends. Harry would be nothing without Ron and Hermione.’</p><p>Gerard said something about the prophecies, but Frank didn’t hear what he said. His mind was on something else. He’d been staring at Gerard for five minutes straight, building the courage, but now he just had to do it. He leaned in and kissed him.</p><p>Not just a peck on the lips, but pulling his lower lip, and even slipping a little tongue in there.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t move.</p><p>He knew he wasn’t that drunk, he was aware of what was happening, and though his body was just letting Frank be in charge, his mind was going a thousand miles per second, trying to figure out HOW? WHY?</p><p>When Frank finally pulled apart, he didn’t say a word.</p><p>He looked confused and shocked, and leaned in against the wall next to Gerard, his mouth still open in surprise.</p><p>Gerard tried to say something, but he was confused too.</p><p>‘I – I like you,’ Frank said.</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to do with that information. That couldn’t be real. No, he was imagining it. He wanted it to happen so bad that his brain created the scene for him. But then, why did his lips were still warm. ‘But – I thought –,’he started. Frank didn’t say anything, he was still shocked. ‘I thought – you were – straight –’</p><p>‘I thought so too.’ He made a long pause. ‘Up until last month when I started working with you.’</p><p>It took Gerard a while to realized what he said. ‘Wait – what?’</p><p>‘I mean, I thought you were cool. But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about you.’ Gerard didn’t say anything, he just turned to him, seeing his reaction. He wasn’t crying or sad. He was just – surprised. ‘I’ve been thinking about kissing you for the past week, but I didn’t dare. I knew I had to get drunk enough to have the guts.’</p><p>‘So – you’ve never liked men before?’</p><p>Frank shook his head. ‘That’s why it felt so weird. I recognized the butterflies in my stomach, but I was confused about everything else. Like how it took me twenty-seven years to be attracted to a guy? I mean, if I’m gay, why didn’t it happen before?’</p><p>Gerard shrugged. ‘Sexuality is fluid.’ He couldn’t wrapped his head around Frank saying he liked him, and he was trying to calm down or he’d explode.</p><p>‘I guess.’ There was another silence, and then Frank just turned to him and asked. ‘Can I kiss you again? To see if this is something I like?’ Gerard nodded, hiding his smile. So, Frank threw himself at him, and kissed him, this time even more passionately, his hands on Gerard’s neck. He pushed his hips against Gerard’s, by instinct. It was hard not to notice the big bulge in his jeans. Frank could <em>feel </em>it against his own, already hard under his jeans, and he was a little weirded out, having never made out with someone who could have an erection. But it made <em>him </em>get hard too, and that was a new experience.</p><p>Frank ran his hands under Gerard’s shirt, feeling his skin, pulling him closer. He didn’t want to let go.</p><p>‘Yes, I definitely like this,’ he said when their lips parted, and then went right back where he left off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gerard knew Frank was still experimenting, so he didn’t want to put any pressure on him.</p><p>That didn’t mean he didn’t enjoy every time Frank would lean in to kiss him when they were in the kitchen, or when they would made out between cigarettes after work. Or when Frank tried to slipped in a hand in his pants while they were at it, out in the alley, where everyone could see them.</p><p>‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Gerard asked, stopping him. Frank nodded. ‘Why don’t we go somewhere more private?’</p><p>Without a second of hesitation, Frank pulled Gerard to the car, and got in the passenger seat. Gerard asked again. ‘I don’t want to put any pressure on you. We’ll go as far as you want – I know you haven’t –’</p><p>But Frank stopped him. He reached for his hand, taking it in his. They hadn’t held hands before, and it felt so intimate. ‘I want to.’</p><p>So they went to Gerard’s apartment. The moment they walked in, Frank pushed him to the wall, a little desperate, and started kissing his neck. Gerard was about to say something, but he was enjoying it too much, he didn’t even notice when Frank unbuttoned his jeans and his hand went in.</p><p>Frank was taking it slowly. He even stopped kissing Gerard to focus on his dick. It felt weird, different than his own. He didn’t know he’d enjoy touching someone else’s dick, but there he was, hard as fuck.</p><p>In between gasps, Gerard managed to do the same for Frank, and reached for his growing erection, stroking it at the same pace Frank was doing his. Clearly, Gerard was more of an expert and had him moaning in seconds, and coming not long after.</p><p>They started stripping off their clothes on their way to the room, and once there, Frank pushed Gerard to the bed, and getting on top of him to keep going. Frank was enjoying licking Gerard as much as he enjoyed that hand job.</p><p>And then he was sitting in between Gerard’s legs, staring at his cock. It was fucking big. And he didn’t know why, maybe he was in the mood, but he wanted to try it. He bent down to put the member in his mouth, but Gerard stopped him. ‘You don’t have to do it.’</p><p>‘What if I want to?’ And there he was, Frank giving his first blowjob, and he was loving it. He knew he wasn’t the best, obviously, but he wouldn’t stop until Gerard was coming in his throat. And he did.</p><p>‘That was fucking good,’ Frank said smiling as he lay next to Gerard. ‘Can I do it again?’</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Viva Indifference</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>current F+G, after the reunion</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>‘Gotta go,’ Gerard said to Lindsey, and planted a kiss on her cheek.</p><p>‘Text me when you get there,’ she said.</p><p>‘Will do.’ He then hugged Bandit one last time. ‘Please, listen to your mom.’</p><p>‘Okaaaay,’ Bandit replies. ‘Where are you going, again, dad?’</p><p>‘New York. Big meeting.’</p><p>‘Oh.’</p><p>He took his wallet and phone from the table by the door and said goodbye one last time, before heading outside where a cab was waiting for him.</p><p>No, he was not going to New York. And it wasn’t for a meeting.</p><p>He hated flying, but he tried to remember the reward that would be waiting for him.</p><p>Five hours later, he arrived at the Newark airport. When he saw a man in suit with a sign that read GERARD (aka dufus), he couldn’t help smiling. Not only he didn’t have to get a cab himself, but he knew who had sent him, and it meant he was near.</p><p>He followed the man in the suit, who led him to a car outside, just like the last time they did this. The driver had specific instructions of where to go, and to make sure nobody saw Gerard or where they were going.</p><p>They parked outside a closed vinyl store, just a couple blocks from one of the venues he used to play in the early days of My Chemical Romance. He looked around, not sure where he was supposed to go. The driver helped him with his bags, and left them outside a door between the record store and a laundromat, before ringing the buzzer and leaving him there.</p><p>Not even a minute later, the door opened, and Gerard went in.</p><p>He climbed the stairs and the door at the end was opened, and there he was.</p><p>Frank.</p><p><em>His</em> Frank.</p><p>All his for the rest of the weekend.</p><p>He looked amazing. His hair combed to the side, and he was wearing a sweater, and those tight jeans Gerard liked so much.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. </em>
</p><p>Yes, he had seen him only a few months ago at the reunion show, and they’d be seeing each other more now, but not like this. That’s why they made an effort to meet again, just them. Not with the guys, or their families. Just Frank and Gerard.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help it and leaned in to kiss him, pushing him inside the apartment, leaving all his belongings somewhere along the way until they made it to the couch. Frank kissed him back as his hands went under his shirt and up his back. God, he felt so good, and so familiar. ‘I fucking missed you so much,’ Frank said, gasping as he unzipped Gerard’s pants.</p><p>‘It hasn’t been that long since the last time we saw each other.’ Gerard proceeded to take off Frank’s sweater. They almost had a dance, knowing each other’s bodies like their own, knowing what each other liked, and how to make the most of their time, after hiding for so long.</p><p>‘For me, it has.’ Fuck, Frank’s hand knew exactly how to get Gerard off. ‘Plus – everyone was there. I had to pretend I was mad at you and avoided you the whole time.’</p><p>‘You think people bought that?’</p><p>‘Of course they did! I’m a great actor! Now shut up and fuck me.’</p><p>Just like back in the old days, Gerard fucked Frank until they couldn’t move anymore. Though now that was obviously quicker, thanks to age and their bodies not working the same, but still.</p><p>‘I love you so fucking much,’ Gerard said as he lay in Frank’s chest. Frank didn’t expect to hear that. Yes, he’d heard it before, many times, but it was still hard to believe. And after everything that happened. ‘I just want you to know.’</p><p>‘I do.’</p><p>‘I know I don’t say it much. And sometimes – it feels I don’t show it enough.’</p><p>‘Stop it,’ Frank insisted. ‘I know you do. And I love you too.’</p><p>They stayed quiet for a while, and Gerard told Frank’s hands in his, playing with them. ‘You still wear the ring I gave you,’ he says.</p><p>‘Of course. It was real to me.’ He kissed Gerard, and pushed his hair off his face. Frank couldn’t help thinking what if they had gotten married? What if they’d ignore people’s opinions back then and stayed together? He had considered, but he knew it was way more complicated back then. Plus he wouldn’t have had kids if they did.</p><p>But it felt good to just imagine it.</p><p>They’d probably be in each other’s arms, just like now.</p><p>‘So – who’s this place?’ Gerard asked, interrupting Frank’s dreams.</p><p>‘One of Hambone’s friends’.’</p><p>‘And you just rented it for the weekend.’</p><p>‘Yup.’</p><p>They’d talk about their lives back home, what they’ve been up to since the last time. They already knew everything, but they still liked to listen to each other. ‘So what did you tell Lindsey?’</p><p>‘That I was coming to a meeting. But I’m sure she knows.’</p><p>‘Jamia does.’</p><p>‘What? You told her?’</p><p>‘Yeah – when I tell you we tell each other everything, we mean it.’ Gerard couldn’t understand how they were so honest with each other. ‘Since the beginning.’</p><p>‘And your kids?’</p><p>‘They think I’m recording demos.’</p><p>They talk until late at night, making out in between, and fell asleep on the couch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank knew it was weird Lois wasn’t barking to wake him up, and then he saw Gerard next to him, looking almost like a cherub, and his face lit up.</p><p>Ugh, he wished he could wake up to this every morning.</p><p>He got up to get some coffee ready and make breakfast. When Gerard woke up, the table was set and Frank had taken a shower and looked great. ‘Good morning, dufus,’ Frank said, placing two coffee mugs on the table. ‘Shall we? I’m hungry.’</p><p>They sat, and ate, holding hands the whole time, coming natural as if they were a married couple, and Frank couldn’t help smiling. They talked about when the band started and they played at the venue down the corner, and when they asked Frank to join the band. ‘I was so fucking nervous when you showed up to ask me,’ he said.</p><p>‘I was nervous too! I was afraid you’d find out I liked you!’</p><p>‘I liked you, too, moron! And I wanted to impress you, and you were my favorite band.’ He laughed at himself.</p><p>‘You too? Since back then?!’</p><p>‘Are you really just finding this out?! You think I’d let anyone use our rehearsal space? Or help to get some gigs? You think I’m a whore?’</p><p>Gerard laughed hysterically. ‘I never said that! I just thought you were nice, and you wanted to help us. Besides Mikey and you were good friends.’</p><p>‘Yeah, and I also wanted to fuck you!’</p><p>‘Well – you eventually did.’</p><p>They kept talking about their memories, and how they still believed they were back together, and about to start touring again. ‘You think –‘ Frank said out of nowhere. ‘You think if we had never married Jamia and Lindsey – you think we would have worked out?’</p><p>The question caught Gerard off guard. He didn’t know what to say.</p><p>‘Let’s say we never married them,’ Frank continued, stroking Gerard’s hand. ‘And let’s say we married each other instead. You think we’d still be together?’</p><p>‘I don’t know.’ He paused. ‘I like to think we would. But here we are, still together. Despite everything.’</p><p>‘I know. But I would like this. You and me. For the rest of time. I don’t care about what everyone thinks anymore.’</p><p>‘Me too. But I have Bandit now, and you have your kids. Would you change them for me?’</p><p>Frank shook his head. ‘But why not have it all?’</p><p>‘That would be great, but you know that’s almost impossible. You’re kinda greedy sometimes, Frank.’</p><p>‘I don’t care. I want you.’</p><p>‘I’m here.’ Gerard placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. ‘Let’s do something. This weekend, let’s pretend we’re married.’</p><p>Frank’s eyes lit up immediately. The effect Gerard had on him. ‘I like that.’</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They pretty much watched Netflix and cuddled for most of the day, ordered takeout, and had sex. Later at night, Frank had an idea.</p><p>They put on sunglasses, beanies, and hoodies in an attempt to go incognito, and walked to the bar down the street to watch the band play. They were young, just like Frank and Gerard when they started, and with so much potential.</p><p>Frank tried not to cry, and reached for Gerard’s hand.</p><p>Most of the audience was just as young, but they still had no idea Frank Iero and Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance.</p><p>They made it out of there alive, and headed back to the apartment, where they fucked each other to sleep.</p><p>The next morning, they didn’t have any plans, and Frank started talking about going to Mexico the next time they met, or somewhere other than their hometown. ‘Pack your stuff, we’re going somewhere,’ Gerard said, looking at his phone.</p><p>They got in Frank’s car, and drove to the address Gerard gave him. They made it to a Bed &amp; Breakfast near the Jersey Shore. Gerard was thankful the owners were an old couple who had never heard of My Chem, and that they were the only guests. Frank was still confused as to why they were there. ‘They have a hot tub, and room service, and there’s the beach, out there.’</p><p>‘And it’s freezing!’</p><p>‘But that means we’ll be alone!’</p><p>They stayed in bed for a little while, before going to the beach to watch the sunset.</p><p>It was even more beautiful having Gerard by his side, Frank thought.</p><p>When it got cold, Gerard put a blanket around their shoulders, bringing them closer, and they kissed just as the sun was last seen in the horizon.</p><p>‘Fuck,’ Frank whispered. ‘I don’t want this to end.’</p><p>‘It doesn’t have to.’</p><p>They stayed there a little longer, even though it was dark. ‘I dare you to get in the water,’ Frank said. ‘Naked.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed.</p><p>‘I’m serious.’</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>‘But nothing. There’s no one around. It’s dark as fuck. No one will see you but me.’</p><p>‘Fuck it.’ He got up and took off his clothes as quick as possible before running getting in the ocean. When he turned around at Frank, he was already getting naked and running towards him. They made out but ran out right away because it was too cold.</p><p>Once back in their clothes they ran back inside the house and went straight to the hot tub. Gerard took off Frank’s boxers before taking off his own, and sat on top of him. He kiss his neck, while his hands explored every bit of skin. ‘I’m so in love with you, just like back then,’ Gerard said, bringing a smile to Frank’s face, before their lips met.</p><p>When they walked inside, the owners invited them for dinner, and told them they were happy to have a gay couple as guests, to which both Frank and Gerard laughed.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>‘Do we have to go back to reality tomorrow?’ Frank asked. They were lying in bed, Gerard’s fingers running down Frank’s face, admiring him.</p><p>‘Yes.’</p><p>‘What if we don’t? What if we tell everyone what we’re doing?’</p><p>Gerard smiled. ‘While I thought the same thing, I feel both our families deserve an explanation first. Don’t you think?’</p><p>Frank nodded, knowing he was right.</p><p>‘It doesn’t mean we can’t be together. It’s not like we haven’t done it before.’</p><p>‘Yeah, but the kids are growing up, and they’ll figure out soon.’</p><p>‘Then, we’ll figure out something.’</p><p>Frank kissed him again, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.</p><p>The following morning, Gerard ordered room service, and they had breakfast in bed, before Frank put everything aside, and went down on Gerard.</p><p>After a long shower – shower sex included –, they packed their stuff, and Frank dropped off Gerard at the airport. ‘I guess we’ll see each other soon,’ he said.</p><p>‘We will,’ Gerard agreed, kissing him one last time. ‘I’m gonna miss you in the meantime.’</p><p>‘Me too.’</p><p>Frank saw Gerard walk away, and then drove off, back home to his wife and kids.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. At the End of the World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Mikey! Mikey!’ Gerard screamed at the top of his lungs as the medic tended his brother’s wounds. But it was too late.</p><p>He’d been shot.</p><p>After Mikey was drafted, Gerard volunteered himself to be with his brother and keep him alive. And he had failed.</p><p>Miserably.</p><p>Mikey was dead.</p><p>His baby brother. Shot in battle in a war he wasn’t supposed to be part of.</p><p>Two other men in his platoon have to hold him, or he’d be running to Mikey and get killed too. But Gerard didn’t care anymore. He would rather be dead than continuing without Mikey.</p><p>***</p><p>Going back home wasn’t easy.</p><p>Sometimes he felt he had died that day Mikey died.</p><p>Life didn’t have a meaning anymore. He had to move in back with his parents, and tried to have a life as normal as possible. He helped his dad at the shop, but he was never good with cars, so he tried to find another job.</p><p>And at night, nightmares of the war, and Mikey would flood him, and he noticed how his moods changed. He was starting to drink too much, but the last thing he wanted was to be like his dad. He got a job at a bar, and though the pay wasn’t enough, it was better than unemployment.</p><p>And the job wasn’t bad itself, very basic tasks, and it was slow most of the time, except when they had live music, which wasn’t often.</p><p>There was one swing band that performed once every couple weeks, and this one night they had a guest singer. He looked young, and nervous. Gerard thought it was probably his first gig, but nonetheless, he was good. He sang a few classics, with a very soft voice that made Gerard feel something. Then he sang other songs that were either unknown or original, he would never know.</p><p><em>Never coming home, never coming home… </em>the young man sang.</p><p>
  <em>At the end of the world….</em>
</p><p>Fuck. Gerard felt the tears rolling down as he heard that song. It reminded him of Mikey, of course.</p><p>And then – the singer looked at Gerard.</p><p>He wasn’t imagining it. He looked straight at him, and smiled.</p><p>And of fuck, he was so handsome.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help it, and smiled back at him, despite the tears.</p><p>Two songs later, and the set was over. ‘Can I have a shot of whiskey, please?’ a voice said, and when Gerard looked up, there he was. The singer.</p><p>He looked younger the closer he was and he was afraid he was a child. ‘Are you old enough to drink?’ Gerard asked, though it was code for <em>Are you a minor?</em></p><p>‘I’ll be twenty next month.’</p><p>Gerard chose to believe him, and gave him what he asked for. ‘On the house.’ There was a long pause, and Gerard pretended to keep working. ‘That was a good set, by the way.’</p><p>‘Thanks. I convinced them to play a couple originals, and it worked.’</p><p>‘I liked them.’</p><p>They stared at each other for a second or two, unable to stop smiling. ‘I’m Frank.’</p><p>‘Gerard.’ They shook hands, and twenty minutes later, when his shift was over, they sat in one of the booths far by the corner, and talked. Mostly Frank.</p><p>He told him he wanted to be a musician like his grandfather, and wanted to go to LA in the summer, and about the gigs he got. Gerard listened to him attentively, and smiled the entire time. For once, after everything that happened, he felt happy. ‘You wanna get out of here?’ he asked out of nowhere.</p><p>‘I’m – I’m not that kind of guy –,’ Frank replied.</p><p>‘No – I’m sorry. I don’t mean it like that. There’s a carnival in town, and I thought you might want to go with me.’</p><p>Frank just gave him a smile.</p><p>***</p><p>The carnival was crowded, despite being a little late in the night.</p><p>Gerard didn’t have a lot of cash on him, but still bought him a bag of popcorn, and a fried pickle for Frank. They rode the carrousel – Gerard loved how excited Frank was – and played in the arcade.</p><p>When it started raining, they hid under a marquee, and stood there awkwardly. Gerard was convinced Frank didn’t like him, and that he wanted to leave. Frank thought Gerard was too quiet, and maybe even a little boring.</p><p>‘So – what about you?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘Nothing much.’ God, this was the most boring date ever, Frank thought. ‘I just – thinking.’</p><p>‘About?’</p><p>‘That song you sang tonight. It reminded me of someone.’ <em>For real? He was talking about an ex during the first date?</em> ‘My brother.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah?’ Frank was a little embarrassed.</p><p>‘Yeah. He died. In the war.’</p><p><em>Fuck,</em> now he felt like an asshole.</p><p>‘Actually,’ Gerard continued. ‘I just came back from the war. I saw it. My own brother getting killed in front of my eyes.’ And now the date was officially ruined. ‘I’m sorry. I just – I haven’t recovered from this. I’m not okay, so I’m sorry for ruining this.’</p><p>‘Nah – you’re fine.’</p><p>Gerard drove Frank home, and before he opened the door to get out, he turned to Gerard. ‘It’s okay. Sometimes it just doesn’t work.’ It was so quiet they could hear each other’s breathing. ‘But fuck, the way you look at me.’ And then he leaned in and kissed Gerard in the corner of his mouth.</p><p>He got out of the car, and just then, Gerard noticed he had left his jacket in the car. ‘Hey! Frank!’ he yelled. ‘You forgot –’ But when Frank just turned around with a smirk, he knew what he was doing.</p><p>***</p><p>Gerard was back at Frank’s place the next day to bring back his jacket. And maybe ask for a redo of their first date.</p><p>But clearly that was already Frank’s plan, who had the biggest smile when he opened the door, and his house smelled amazing. He pulled Gerard inside, and took him to the dining room. He had dinner prepared, and they sat and talked for hours, and kissed and talked, as if that awful first night at the carnival didn’t happened. Gerard felt like something inside of him was alive again when he was with Frank.</p><p>Suddenly he was smiling again.</p><p>Frank got him into music, and Gerard got him into books.</p><p>They were best friends, soul mates.</p><p>Everything was great when they were together.</p><p>Frank was Gerard’s rock. And Gerard kept Frank sane.</p><p>They became inseparable. Frank became a constant in Gerard’s life, and he was grateful for that. He made him want to be alive.</p><p>A year later, they got married at the city hall. They didn’t plan a whole wedding, just the two of them, making official their union, and then went back to Frank’s house – now their house – and made out.</p><p>Their life as a married couple wasn’t very different as their life before. But now they got two dogs, and Gerard started working double, and Frank got a job as music teacher, to start a family soon. They still didn’t know how they’d do it, but they wanted kids.</p><p>It wasn’t until a couple years later, when Frank was arriving at the community center for a music class, that he saw something outside the building. A basket.</p><p>As he got closer he heard the cries.</p><p>It wasn’t just one baby but two.</p><p><em>Please take care of them and give them the loving family I couldn’t give to them, </em>the note read.</p><p>He brought them inside, and after a long meeting, it was decided no one could take care of them, so they’d take them to a children’s home. ‘No,’ Frank interrupted. ‘I’ll take care of them.’</p><p>It was supposed to be for a few days only, while they figured out what to do, but he and Gerard ended up keeping them.</p><p>Lily and Cherry, they named them. Their <em>Little Two</em>.</p><p>***</p><p>‘Happy Birthday, Daddy!’ the girls cheered as they blew the candles.</p><p>‘Happy Birthday, girls!’ Frank replied.</p><p>Looking at his little family, Gerard couldn’t believe how lucky he was.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>yes, this is a Ghost of You + This Is Us AU<br/>please, let me know what you think, I appreciate all comments :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Wedding Bells</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I don’t know why Mikey did this!’ Gerard complained as they drove through the literal woods. ‘He knows I hate nature and camping!’</p><p>‘It’s a cabin! You’ll be fine ,’ Bert assured him. ‘And you’re going to be his best man, so it’s not like you can’t miss it.’</p><p>‘Exactly! Though we could have just showed up the day of the wedding and say we had something to do.’</p><p>‘Yeah, but it’s your brother, and you’re important to him, so you wouldn’t do that.’</p><p>‘And he knows that!’ Gerard continued.</p><p>Bert had no choice but to laugh at his fiancé and keep driving. Mikey was going to get married, and Kristin’s family had invited everyone to stay over at their cabin for a couple days prior to the wedding. In the middle of the woods. Gerard didn’t like the idea, but he loved his brother too much to say no.</p><p>‘You think it’s too soon?’ Bert asked, sounding a little insecure.</p><p>‘Hell, no! We’ve been together for longer than Mikey and Kristin, and we’re engaged. What are you talking about?’</p><p>‘I know, but I’ve only met your parents once, and I don’t know if they liked me.’</p><p>‘Give them a chance, they’ll get to love you by the end of this trip. Besides, it’ll soon be us getting married.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The cabin was bigger than they thought.</p><p>More like a wooden mansion in the middle of nowhere, with a lake just a mile away.</p><p>‘It’s going to be fun,’ Bert said as they parked outside the cabin. For all the cars, it was clear everyone was there already. They got their luggage from the backseat, and walked to the cabin.</p><p>It was already getting dark, and Gerard reached for his boyfriend’s hand. ‘You know the kind of scary creatures that leave in the woods?’ Gerard asked, and made Bert chuckle. ‘I’m serious!’</p><p>As they stepped on the porch, they could hear someone moaning and panting, as well as other strange mouth noises somewhere near.</p><p>Gerard tried hard not to laugh, knowing what was going on and that they must have been hiding somewhere in the dark. ‘Someone’s getting lucky tonight,’ Bert whispered, only making Gerard laugh more. Then, as they walked to the door, they saw where it was coming from.</p><p>In the corner, behind a stack of wood, two people were indeed in the middle of something. One of them biting the other’s neck, while their hand fondled the other’s crotch. Gerard didn’t want to stare but it was clear they were both men. He couldn’t help but smile at the thought. <em>Nice.</em></p><p>Until – the shorter one noticed them and turned around.</p><p>And –</p><p>Oh no –</p><p>It couldn’t be –</p><p>But even from the shadows, Gerard was sure he knew the guy.</p><p>It was Frank.</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to do. He wanted to run, get in as fast as possible, or just leave. But it was too late. Bert had seen him too.</p><p>He pulled Gerard to the door, but before they got in Frank was already in front of them, along with the blond guy he was kissing minutes earlier. ‘Hey, there,’ Frank said, as if that awkward moment never happened. He offered a hand to Bert, but he didn’t shake it. They knew where it had been.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard said, clearly uncomfortable.</p><p>‘Good to see you –,’ his smirk made it clear he was enjoying this too much. He looked at Bert, and nodded at him. ‘This is Bob,’ he said, pointing to the guy behind him. ‘Bob, these are some good friends of mine, Gerard and Bert.’</p><p>Gerard tried to say something but Bob interrupted. ‘Gerard? As in your – ex-husband Gerard?’</p><p>‘Yes, my ex-husband Gerard.’</p><p>Bob didn’t say anything, but his expression was enough, while Frank couldn’t stop smiling. ‘So – you and Bert are a thing now?’</p><p>‘Gee, let’s just –,’ Bert started, pulling his boyfriend’s arm.</p><p>‘No, it’s okay.’ He then turned to Frank. ‘Yes, we are.’ He wanted to ask if him and Bob were, but thought twice about it, and decided it was it. It was time to move on.</p><p>‘I didn’t think I’d run into you.’</p><p>‘It’s my brother’s wedding?’</p><p>‘Oh yeah – I keep forgetting you two are related.’</p><p><em>Bullshit. </em>‘Anyway, it was nice seeing you. Keep doing whatever you were doing.’</p><p>Frank nodded, with a smirk, and went back to where he was, Bob behind him, as Gerard and Bert walked in the house.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There must had been at least thirty people staying in the cabin, mostly Mikey’s and Kristin’s families, though Gerard saw the bridesmaids too, and Frank wasn’t related to them either.</p><p>Fuck, how could he forget they were still working together, and obviously close friends?</p><p>After the divorce, he insisted that Mikey didn’t fire Frank, or that they stopped talking to each other. They were friends way before they even met. Sometimes Gerard felt Mikey was closer to Frank than him, and he understood.</p><p>But it was hard to see him again, after all these years, obviously happy, having moved on.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Here, babe,’ Bob said, handing a beer to Frank, who didn’t know how to react. They had just met and he was already calling him babe. ‘So the ex, huh?’</p><p>Frank just smiled, hiding his embarrassment. ‘I mean, he’s Mikey’s brother, so I knew he was going to be here.’</p><p>‘What?! Are you serious?!’</p><p>‘Yeah – I thought you knew.’</p><p>Bob shook his head.</p><p>They stood by the kitchen, near the beer supply, where Frank could have a view of Gerard and his new boy toy, wondering how long they’d been together, whether it started since they were married, and if that was the reason. No, he wasn’t doing it again.</p><p>He was over it now.</p><p>It had taken him a long time to move on, and now he had his shit together, and was happy, for once. Fuck Mikey and his brother.</p><p>‘So – you wanna go upstairs to the guest room?’ Bob asked, bringing him back to reality, kissing his jaw. ‘We could – get to know each other even more.’</p><p>‘I like that idea.’ He did. He needed to focus on the present, and for now, all he wants is to taste Bob.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first night wasn’t that bad as Gerard thought. It was a nice cabin, he had to admit. They had electricity, and even wifi. And though there were too many people for his anti-social ass, he spent most of it with Bert and Mikey, and almost forgot he saw his ex sneaking around upstairs with his new man.</p><p>Bert tried to get intimate too, but Gerard was too tired, and fell asleep before his pants were even off.</p><p>When he woke up, with the sun hitting him straight in the face – fuck the sun! – and Bert’s arm around him, he knew he needed a cigarette and some time alone.</p><p>And coffee.</p><p>He started a pot, and went outside while it was ready.</p><p>Fuck, it was cold. There was a reason why he didn’t like going outside, and the cold was one of them. And the sun. And people.</p><p>And as he was lighting his second cigarette, he heard the door closing behind him, and out of everyone, it was obviously Frank walking out of the cabin. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.</p><p>He could still make a run for it, but it was too late, and the last thing he wanted was to make it even more awkward. So he just pretended he didn’t see him. But obviously, Frank walked over to where Gerard was, in the middle of the driveway. ‘Hey – you.’</p><p>Gerard faked a smile, his cigarette pressed between his lips. ‘Hey.’</p><p>Frank got his own cigarette pack out, and took one. ‘So, who would have thought, huh?’</p><p>‘I mean, my brother is getting married. You obviously knew I was going to be here.’</p><p>‘I tried not to think about it.’ He lit his cigarette, and took a drag. ‘How long it’s been? Three years?’</p><p>‘Yup.’</p><p>Three fucking years. Longer than they had been married, which hurt to think about after all the time they were together, and how marriage ruined it for them. Among other things. Had love died? Frank couldn’t stop thinking about that day he had signed the papers and how heartbroken he was. ‘You look a lot better,’ he said.</p><p>‘I am. But it wasn’t easy.’ He couldn’t keep the façade anymore. ‘I don’t know if I can do this, Frank.’ He looked like he was about to cry, but he was holding it in. ‘It hurt so much, it took me a long time to get off all that shit. I spent a while in rehab.’</p><p>‘I heard,’ Frank said, his eyes focused on the gravel under his feet.</p><p>‘I thought I wasn’t going to make it.’</p><p>‘You said that as if I was the one who left you when it was the other way around.’ Frank sounded hurt, but he needed to say it. They hadn’t talked to each other since. There were so many things that he wanted to say. ’You think I had a good time?’</p><p>Gerard shook his head. ‘I’m so sorry.’</p><p><em>You should be</em>, Frank wanted to say, but that wasn’t the time. ‘It’s okay – I’ve forgiven you. But it took me a while.’</p><p>‘That doesn’t mean I’m not sorry. I was the most toxic person and you didn’t deserve me. That’s why I left.’</p><p>‘We were both toxic. But it’s fine. Sometimes things don’t work out.’ There was a long silence. ‘So, you and Bert, huh?’</p><p>‘Yeah – we ran into each other in our AA meetings, and, you know –’ He tried to repress the smile that was forming. Bert had been good to him. Not that Frank wasn’t. He was absolutely the best, the love of his life. But it didn’t work out. He was too good for him. ‘What about Bob?’</p><p>‘Bob? I met him yesterday.’ He couldn’t help laughing. ‘I think he’s Kristin’s cousin or something. We’re just – you know – I don’t know if we’ll see each other again after this.’ It was weird, talking about the guy he had just fucked with his ex-husband. He never thought they’d end up like that, but life was surprising, he thought. ‘But again – wasn’t that how we met?’</p><p>‘And look at us,’ Gerard replied, smiling.</p><p>‘Look at us.’ Who would have thought they’d end up in good terms, smoking together in the middle of the woods, after all the shit.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The wedding reception was the day after, in the barn right by the lake.</p><p>It was rather small, just their families and a few friends. Gerard was the best man, while Frank was one of the groomsmen.</p><p>Bert convinced Gerard to dance with him, while Frank couldn’t convince Bob so they sat and watched YouTube videos. Frank wasn’t too convinced it was going to work with him, but he was enjoying the fun. ‘I’ll be right back,’ he said. ‘I need to use the restroom. Maybe we can get out of here after?’</p><p>Bob nodded.</p><p>Frank walked in the restroom, and did his business, and as he was washing his hands, Gerard walked in. ‘Hey, there,’ Frank said, nodding, and drying his hands with a paper towel, thinking Gerard would get in one of the stalls.</p><p>But no. He walked up to Frank, and pushed him to the wall, their lips meeting right after in the most violent way. As Gerard’s tongue attacked his mouth, Frank pulled him to the last stall, and pushed him to the door. Their hands wandered, pulling shirts off and pants down. Then, Frank was on his knees. ‘Fuck, I missed this,’ he said before running his tongue all over Gerard’s cock.</p><p>Gerard pulled Frank’s hair, moaning loud even know they could be found any moment. He had forgotten the best part of him and Frank together. It was exactly this. How he made him feel. How could he forget?</p><p>He jerked Frank off, and had to stop himself before they went any further since they didn’t have any lube. And not to mention it was very wrong. There was Bert. They were supposed to get married. ‘I can’t –,’ he said between pants. ‘I’m so sorry.’ And then he pulled up his pants and walked out.</p><p>Frank walked out barely minutes after. He definitely wasn’t over Gerard, but he knew how wrong it was. So he walked to his table, and sat next to Bob. Maybe he’d give him a chance, and hope something good would come out of it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Poetry 101</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Frank college student/Gerard professor AU</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frank knew he made a big mistake when he took that scholarship to an Ivy League university. Not only he had to make an effort to keep his grades, but also he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t.</p><p>He wasn’t allowed to wear jeans and t-shirts to most classes, let alone sweatpants and PJs, like his friends did. It was full of phonies, he thought.</p><p>And now he had to be one of them.</p><p>‘How does it feel to be like Holden Caufield?’ Jamia asked on their way to the cafeteria. She was literally the only reason Frank hadn’t lost it. ‘Surrounded by phonies.’</p><p>Frank just laughs.</p><p>‘I thought that was your dream.’</p><p>‘Shut up.’ They had dated back in freshman year for a while, but then Frank realized he was gay, but remained the closest friends. They sat in the middle of the lawn, under a tree, and got their books out to start working on their assignments. ‘So – what you’re working on?’</p><p>‘Ethics essay.’</p><p>‘You’re so fucking smart,’ Frank said. He felt free when being around her, since she was the only one he could talk to about literally anything, swear and just be himself. ‘You’ll be a great lawyer.’</p><p>‘You’ll be a great writer.’ She took his notebook from him to see what he was writing.</p><p>‘We’re doing poems.’</p><p>‘Right up your alley.’ Frank just smiled. He sometimes wished he was at least bi so he and Jamia could be together because she was the only person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the end of the week, Mr. Way, his English professor gave them critique for their final poem, and when Frank got his back, with a note on top that said <em>See me after class, </em>he was livid.</p><p>Though in his head he had this fantasy Mr. Way’s reason to see him after class was to ask him for drinks, he knew that wasn’t the case. Ever since the semester started, Mr. Way always complained about Frank’s writing style, and he knew that’s why he wanted to see him.</p><p>He didn’t even wait until everyone had left the room to tell Frank what he thought. ‘How many times have we talked about grammar, Mr. Iero?’</p><p>Frank didn’t say anything.</p><p>‘This isn’t the first time I tell you, you have to use proper grammar and spelling on your writing, but I hope it’s the last.’ Mr. Way was sort of young to be a college professor, probably in his early thirties. But he had an air of arrogance, just like every other professor in the school. Frank was sure he went to the best schools all his life, and his parents had some kind of influence for him to be there that young. The complete opposite to Frank.</p><p>And yet, he couldn’t help notice how fucking hot Mr. Way was, and the way he carried himself, running his hand through his black hair all the time, knowing how attractive he was.</p><p>‘But it’s free style,’ Frank dared to say. ‘Every word has a purpose to be written that way. That’s my thing. I know how they’re spelled but I like how it looks that way.’</p><p>‘Well, I don’t care.’</p><p>Frank did his best not to punch him.</p><p>‘Now, be thankful I’m giving you another chance. It’s good, that’s why I believe in you. Hand it in tomorrow, with all the misspellings and grammar corrected, and I’ll give you credit. Fail to do it, you’ll fail the class.’</p><p>How much he hated him right now.</p><p>He knew he could just not do it, and he’ll fail. And even though it was an elective class, it’ll affect his scholarship, and Mr. Way knew it. So he had no choice but to eat his pride and go back to his room to start writing a clean version of his poem. He could do it in his sleep, but it took the fun of it.</p><p>And somewhere deep inside him he wanted Mr. Way to like him, to see him for who he really was, a punk kid playing dress up. He knew how wrong it was.</p><p>Unable to stop thinking about how he smelled and how his heart raced and he had trouble breathing every time he was close to him, he started writing another poem.</p><p>
  <em>Show me who you are inside… Really? Me too. We’re so alike, where did you grow up? NO FUCKING WAY! A small town? That’s so weird; no one ever listens to me either. Wow. What a small world (exclamation point)</em>
</p><p>He didn’t expect to feel like that, but there it was.</p><p>The next morning, he gave Mr. Way his folder on his way out. When Mr. Way opened it, he only saw a wrinkled piece of paper with Frank’s handwriting all over it. Misspellings and grammar errors all over the place. ‘I gave you a chance,’ he said. ‘And you gave me the least professional looking poem ever.’</p><p>‘That’s not for the assignment. That’s for you.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘What did you do?!’ Jamia yelled at Frank.</p><p>‘I wrote him a poem and gave it to him.’ Frank was embarrassed, to say the least. Him and Jamia went out for drink that night, which was good because Frank wanted to get wasted and forget about the worst thing he’d ever done.</p><p>‘What were you thinking, idiot?!’</p><p>‘That’s the thing! I wasn’t! And now I can have my scholarship taken away or get thrown away for flirting with a professor!’</p><p>Jamia wanted to yell at him for how stupid he was, but it was actually funny as hell.</p><p>They drank for the next hour or two, and flirted with a couple guys. Just a typical Friday night.</p><p>Frank walked to the bar to get another round of drinks, when someone approached him. ‘Want me to get you a drink, honey?’ he asked in a flirty voice. He was so wasted, it took him a minute to realize who it was.</p><p>‘That wouldn’t be appropriate behavior between a student and his professor.’</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>It was Mr. Way.</p><p>Of course.</p><p>That would only happen to Frank.</p><p>He cursed under his breath, and tried to hide his face with his hands, but it was too late. ‘I’m sorry, sir – I thought you were –’ he said before being interrupted by Mr. Way’s lips on his, and his hands on his waist, pulling him closer.</p><p>The kiss lasted a few seconds, but when they pulled apart, they remained close, barely an inch apart, breathing into each other. ‘You can call me Gerard.’</p><p>Frank nodded, and then they kissed again.</p><p>Then, they were inside a restroom stall, Frank getting on his knees, unzipping Gerard’s pants, and pulling them down. ‘Is it –’ he started to ask.</p><p>‘Don’t ask me, just do it.’ So Frank did. He started licking his tip, and slowly taking it in, until it was down his throat, and he was coming. Gerard kissed him, tasting himself in him, and jerking Frank off. ‘Those things you said in your poem – you meant them?’ Frank nodded, and Gerard kissed him again. ‘Good to know.’</p><p>He helped Frank with his pants, and they washed their hands before walking out. ‘Oh by the way, that was a good poem. You passed.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Friday morning, they got the results for their last writing project.</p><p>Frank got a B+, and on top of his paper, there was a note. <em>See me after class. </em>Frank couldn’t help the smirk on his face.</p><p>When he walked to Ger – hmm, Mr. Way’s desk, he held out a hand to him and pulled him inside his office.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Pink Feather Boas and Cigarettes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Friday night.</p><p>It was crowded as usual at the Poison club. Everyone there to see Frank, also known as Destroya, their biggest star. Men and women alike would come to see him every week, and some of them were already requesting a private with him.</p><p>In the meantime, Frank was in the back getting ready, putting on his glittery stilettos that made him look like he was he was six feet tall. ‘Ready, honey?’ Richie, one of the staff guys, asked.</p><p>Frank nodded, fixed his hair, and waited for his cue.</p><p>‘And now, ladies and gentleman,’ the emcee announced. ‘The star y’all came here to see, and Poison’s favorite, Destroya!!!’</p><p>The lights went dim, and as the first notes of Danzig’s <em>She Rides, </em>Destroya came out, wearing nothing but black lace panties and a white crop top, showing most of his tattooed body, his arms up as he strode the catwalk, sway his hips. When he reached the pole, he grinded his ass against it, smirking at the man right in front of him, and winked at a cute guy.</p><p>He slid up and down the pole, his legs spread, and then span around it, and did all kinds of tricks. He knew what he was doing. He had everyone drooling over him, throwing him cash, yelling all kinds of nasty stuff. He hated that part, but he knew that he was pretty, and if that was going to pay the bills, he’d keep doing it.</p><p>Besides, he enjoyed performing.</p><p>At some point, he lost the shirt, and he was showing off his chest, and his sweaty hair was on his face, and he was on his hands and knees, crawling to the other side of the stage.</p><p>He felt a hand touching his ass, but he did his best to ignore it. Sometimes he wondered if it was all worth it. The shit he got from customers, how disrespectful they were, or having to fuck old men, for all the money he got every night and having the chance to do what he liked.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Get to work, boy! You’ll get fired and it’s only your second day!’ someone yelled at Gerard, who’d been looking, not staring, at Destroya performing for the past couple minutes. He was so fucking good, Gerard thought. His legs!</p><p>Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to get a job at a strip club, knowing Gerard would be looking at attractive men all the time. How was he supposed to hide his boner?</p><p>At the end, his boss decided to send him to the back to do the dishes, which Gerard knew it was for his own sake too.</p><p>But whenever he worked front of the house on weekends, his favorite thing was Destroya’s show. He would be wearing a goth dress sometime, or shorty jean shorts and boots, fishnet leggings and crop tops. Gerard liked his style, but also he was fucking hot!</p><p>Dating other employees, especially the artists as they called them, was strictly prohibited. Not that Destroya would ever notice Gerard. He was only a chubby boy, too shy for his own good. He didn’t have a chance.</p><p>He went out for a cigarette before he had to start closing, when he heard the back door opening, and two people coming out. It took him a minute to realize one of them was the one and only Destroya, and only because he was wearing the same outfit. But he had never seem him this close. And he was way shorter than he thought. ‘Be safe, hun,’ he heard Destroya say to the man as he walked away. Then he turned around, walked towards the door to get back in, when he spotted Gerard. ‘Hey, baby,’ he said. Gerard didn’t know how to react. Destroya. Was talking to him!</p><p>He tried not to freak out and smiled.</p><p>‘Having a good night?’ Frank said, trying to sound cheerful, but Gerard could hear how tired he was. So he just nodded, and offered him a cigarette. Frank could never say no to cigarettes, especially not after a night like this. So he took one, and let Gerard light it. ‘Thanks, babe.’</p><p>Gerard liked that, but tried not to be obvious. He looked at him, and noticed his red eyeshadow and what was left of his eyeliner. He was gorgeous. ‘Destroya, right?’ he asked, not sure how. But he needed to make conversation.</p><p>‘You can call me Frank.’</p><p>‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘Nice to meet you, Gerard. You work here?’ Frank asked, even though it was obvious since he was wearing a shirt that had Poison sewn on the pocket.</p><p>Gerard nodded, a shy smile on his face. ‘I’m a bartender. This is my second week.’</p><p>‘Wow! You like it?’</p><p>‘The pay is good. Great tips.’ <em>I get to see you</em>, he thought.</p><p>‘Well, welcome to Poison.’</p><p>Gerard couldn’t stop watching Frank, seeing him blowing smoke, fixing his hair. He was so hypnotizing. No wonder why everyone came just to see him. But there was so much more that people didn’t get to see, and he loved that too. ‘You look shorter in person,’ he said.</p><p>‘Those stilettos, man.’ Frank seemed to be freezing, but he didn’t make an attempt to leave or anything, so without even thinking about it, Gerard took off his jacket, and put it on Frank’s shoulders. ‘Thank you,’ he said, giving him a tender look that couldn’t quite believe the nice gesture he just had.</p><p>‘It’s nothing. You seem cold.’</p><p>And then, Frank leaned closer and kissed Gerard’s cheek. ‘You’re sweet,’ he said. ‘No one had really cared this much for me.’</p><p>‘That’s a shame.’</p><p>They stood there, not really saying anything, having yet another cigarette, before Gerard had to go back in, and Frank followed him inside, though they went their separate ways once inside.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The following Friday, when Frank made it to his dressing room, he found a red rose on his vanity. There was no note, and this was definitely not the first time it had happened. Lots of men sent gift to Frank every day, hoping they’d get lucky, but he wasn’t into that. So he went on with his day and got ready.</p><p>For the next two weeks, every night, he found a red rose. One time next to a note that read <em>I hope this makes you smile </em><em>J</em></p><p>It did.</p><p>That night, when the club closed and everyone was going home, Frank walked out and found Gerard standing in the sidewalk, almost as if he was waiting for him. With a red rose.</p><p>That made Frank smile. Of course it was him, why didn’t he think about it?</p><p>‘Hey,’ he said.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard replied, with a nervous smile as he approached him. ‘This is for you.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’ He took it, and looked at it. ‘So it was you? This whole time?’</p><p>Gerard nodded.</p><p>There was a long silence, as they got closer to each other. ‘You look different,’ Gerard said, noticing the lack of makeup, glitter, and his jeans and t-shirt that made him look like a normal guy.</p><p>‘Well, believe it or not I don’t always walk on the streets wearing panties and fishnets. Sorry to disappoint you.’</p><p>‘You don’t. You still look pretty as hell.’</p><p>‘You know? No one has ever called me pretty when I’m wearing this.’</p><p>‘Maybe I should do it more often.’</p><p>‘I wouldn’t mind.’ They smiled at each other, and then Frank closed the gap between them and kissed him. It was pure and innocent, almost like a first kiss. Which Frank welcomed. In this business, everything was about lust, and he craved for something like this.</p><p>It was as if Gerard knew what he needed.</p><p>‘You wanna go for a walk?’ Gerard asked, and Frank answered with a nod. They walked around the block, and since everything was closed, they stopped at a convenience store and bought cheap coffee, then walked to the park on Main Street and sat to drink it and get to know each other.</p><p>They held hand, almost like a magnet was pulling them together.</p><p>They talked about life. Gerard had just graduated college, and didn’t know what to do with his life. He asked Frank how did he start pole dancing. ‘Well,’ Frank started. ‘My friend convinced me to go with her to pole dancing class during college, and the instructor told me I had some skills, and got me my first job. Been doing it since.’</p><p>‘You like it?’</p><p>‘I like performing. Dancing, owning the stage. But I hate how men treat me.’</p><p>‘That sucks.’</p><p>‘It does.’</p><p>‘You deserve better.’ And then, they were kissing again. Frank was short of breath by the kiss. It was too good to be true, and he didn’t want to wake up from the dream.</p><p>Soon after, Gerard walked him home. ‘It was nice,’ Frank said. ‘Thanks for making me feel like I’m worth a shit.’</p><p>‘Well, you are.’ Gerard kissed him goodnight. ‘Wanna go for coffee tomorrow?’</p><p>‘I’d like that,’ Frank said, and stepped inside is apartment building, before turning around. ‘Good night, babe.’  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. We'll Be A Dream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>first oneshot of several based on We The Kings songs</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘So – this is it, huh?’ Frank said, approaching Gerard. They had just played Madison Square Garden, and no one knew was going to happen to the band now.</p><p>Gerard just said he needed a break, so tour was over and now their future was unknown. Sure, Frank had his own plans, but he was afraid the band was over, and more than anything, he was afraid he was going to lose Gerard forever.</p><p>‘I don’t know yet.’ Gerard looked tense, Frank could tell. But he knew he was hiding the tears.</p><p>But again, Frank was doing the same. ‘You wanna go for a smoke? For all good times’ sake?’</p><p>They went outside, behind a wall, hiding from everyone else. It was the only way to have some privacy. Frank took out his cigarette pack and took one for him and one for Gerard. ‘That was a good show,’ Frank said. ‘If that’s our last, I’ll be happy.’</p><p>Gerard just nodded.</p><p>‘What now?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I thought you had that other band you wanted to tour with. I thought you wanted a break too.’</p><p>‘I do. But I don’t mean the band, I mean us.’</p><p>‘There’s no us anymore.’</p><p>‘I don’t mean anything to you anymore?’ Frank said, almost yelling. He stood in front of Gerard, confronting him.</p><p>‘You know you’re my best friend, and that I love you. But it’s not –’</p><p>‘It’s not what?’</p><p>‘This can’t happen. Us. You know better than anyone it won’t be easy. Out there, they won’t accept us. They won’t accept this?’</p><p>‘This?’ Frank asked and being so close to Gerard now, he pressed a kiss on his lips. ‘So you care more about their opinion than you care about me? Huh?’</p><p>Gerard didn’t answer. Frank was tired of waiting for Gerard’s approval. Maybe he was right, it was time to move on. ‘Fuck you, then – I just thought we actually had something, you know?’ There were already tears rolling down Frank’s eyes.</p><p>Was that it?</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Do you remember the nights</em>
  <em> we'd stay up just laughing<br/>
Smiling for hours at anything<br/>
Remember the nights we drove around crazy in love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>***</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>‘Hey, man,’ Mikey called from behind. ‘This is my brother, Gerard.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Frank turned to the guy behind Mikey Way. They did look alike, but Gerard was a little chubbier and hmm – cute? ‘Hey, nice to meet you. I’m Frank.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Nice  to meet you, Frank.’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Frank went to get him a beer and they sat in the middle of the crowded party, shared a joint and laughed at everything. Frank tried to ignore the warm feeling inside him when he was with Gerard.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Was it going to be like this all the time? Did Gerard feel the same? Fuck, he had no idea why was he thinking about all this, but he noticed he’d been staring at Gerard’s lips for too long, and took a sip of beer.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Frank had only been in the band for a couple weeks, but him and Gerard were already inseparable. They had too many things in common that they’d be talking for hours, and well – Frank couldn’t complain if it meant being around him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He still felt the same butterflies when he was with him, and he knew that being in the same band was only going to make it worse, so he was fucked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Hey – can you give me a ride home?’ Gerard asked after their show. And who was Frank to say no. So they got in the band’s van, all their gear in the back, and got off.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The city seemed so quiet at two in the morning, and the car radio didn’t work so there was even more silence, that was only uncomfortable because Frank’s mind was going crazy thinking about how close Gerard was and that he wanted to kiss him. But they both had girlfriends, and Frank still didn’t know if Gerard liked him too. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>But then, Gerard started singing Misfits songs. Frank loved that sound, and it was the perfect background music to that moment. Frank joined in somewhere, making harmonies. And during a stop, while Frank was too distracted, Gerard put his hand on top of his. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>At first Frank didn’t know if it was by mistake, but when it didn’t move, and Gerard squeezed his hand a little, he knew it. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>He could swear he saw Gerard smiling to himself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And so they kept driving, the windows rolled down, and everything was perfect. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>***</p><p>
  <em>Do you remember the nights</em>
  <em> we made our way dreaming<br/>
Hoping of being someone big<br/>
We were so young then, we were too crazy in love</em>
</p><p>
  <em>*** </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t believe we have a deal with a major label,’ Frank said, looking up at the stars. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>They were in the middle of a tour, sleeping in their rusty van because they didn’t have money to stay at a hotel. While everyone was sleeping inside, Frank and Gerard sneaked out to smoke and talk, unable to wrap their heads around the news. ‘They could have at least paid for a hotel room for us,’ Frank continued. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I like this,’ Gerard replied, a cigarette between his lips, too deep in thought. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Me too.’ He turned to the singer and kissed him. It was still weird, and they had to do it when nobody saw them, being careful. But every time they were like this, it was so worth it. ‘You made it! Your dream came true!’</em>
</p><p><em>Gerard shook his head. ‘</em>Your<em> dream came true. And I couldn’t be happier that I’m a little part of it, Mr. Rockstar.’ They kept kissing, lying on the grass.</em></p><p>
  <em>‘You are my dream.’ And he meant it. He wanted to be able to tell everyone, to yell it at the top of his lungs and let everyone know that he was in love with Gerard Way of My Chemical Romance. But they couldn’t be together. Not in public. ‘The day I can walk the streets holding your hand and calling you mine, that day my dream will come true.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘You’re so cheesy.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I fucking mean it.’ </em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘I know.’ Gerard kissed him tenderly, his hands caressing his back. ‘One day. One day, we’ll be so famous and rich, and we’ll get our own place, and nothing will matter. Just you and me.’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘One day.’</em>
</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p><em>When the lights go out</em><em> we'll be safe and sound</em><br/>
We'll take control of the world like it's all we have to hold on to<br/>
And we'll be a dream</p><p>
  <em>***</em>
</p><p> </p><p>‘So – I guess I’ll just leave,’ Frank said, and turned around. ‘I hope you have a great life.’ He wiped off his face with his sleeve, and walked away.</p><p>‘Frank!’ he heard Gerard yelled, far away. ‘Frank, wait!’ When he turned around, Gerard was running towards him, and without saying another word, he leaned in and kissed him, holding his head by the sides. ‘Fuck it, fuck everything!’ he said when they broke the kiss. ‘I don’t want to lose you. Let’s run away. Let’s get that place we always talked about, far away from everyone, and one day, when we’re allowed to, we’ll get married, and have a million puppies. ’</p><p>‘But Lin –’</p><p>‘Don’t even mention her. You know it’s not real. She’ll understand.’</p><p>‘What about – you know the media, and the fans? What are we going to tell everyone?’</p><p>‘We don’t have to tell anyone anything.’ Frank liked the sound of that. ‘So?’</p><p>‘Let’s do it.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Going for a Walk in the Woods</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It’s been four years since Gerard’s last tweet... <br/>so here’s an AU where Frank finds him in the woods</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Let’s go for a hike, c’mon!’ Jamia asked once again. But Frank was the least outdoorsy person ever, and he just wanted to sleep.</p><p>But his best friend wouldn’t quit, pulling the sheets off.</p><p>‘Fivemoreminutes,’ Frank mumbled, or at least that’s what it sounded like. He had to work late the night before and it was already three in the morning when he came home. He needed his beauty sleep.</p><p>‘Should I bribe you with a frappuccino?’</p><p>‘God, you know the way to my heart.’ Half asleep, he got up from bed, and walked in the bathroom. Five minutes later, he came out, wearing sweatpants and a sweater, his hair all messy, and his eyes still half open. ‘Let’s go then.’</p><p>They hadn’t even been walking for fifteen minutes when Frank was already whining, begging Jamia to go back home. ‘Frank, you need to get out. All you do is work and play that stupid guitar.’</p><p>‘But I don’t want to.’ Sometimes he acted like a five year old, throwing tantrums when he didn’t like something.</p><p>‘C’mon, we’re almost there.’</p><p>‘Can we take a break?’</p><p>‘Fine.’ So they sat on a huge rock by the side of the road, and drank water, Frank trying to catch his breath. Jamia gave him some time, and they both checked their phones for a while. ‘You ready?’ she asked.</p><p>‘Yeah, I’ll be right there behind you.’ Jamia got up and started walking away. Frank was too distracted by his phone, and he lost track of time. When he finally got up, Jamia was nowhere around, and he didn’t know which way to go. ‘Jam! Jamia Majia! Jam Jam!’ he started calling, every single version of her name, at the top of his lungs, as he made his way into the woods. He knew if he whined a little, she’d come to the rescue, so that’s what he did.</p><p>At some point, he got through what seem like a cave, except he could see light coming from the other side. It was a tunnel.</p><p>It wasn’t even that long, but Frank was scared there were spiders inside – there were definitely spiders, he was sure –or who knows what else. Maybe even vampires and zombies.</p><p>But what if that was the only way to get to his friend? What if he was lost and he’d never find her?</p><p>He stepped in the creepiest tunnel, careful where he stepped, cursing himself the whole time. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck. </em>Why did he accept to come with her? He wasn’t born for this. The air was sticky in his skin, and he could feel spiderwebs all around him. He’d turn around and run back home on his own, if it wasn’t because there were only two steps to get to the other side, and he was sure he was lost by now, so he needed Jamia.</p><p>‘Yup, I’m lost,’ he said to himself when he made it to the other side. Trees everywhere, trees that he didn’t know the name of every few feet. And nothing else. There was no road for hikers, no people around. Just him.</p><p>‘Help! Someone!’ he yelled, walking around for another way out that didn’t involve a tunnel full of spiders. And the more he walked in, the more lost he felt and he was sure he was going to die there and no one would ever find him.</p><p>His breathing sped up, and he was having a panic attack.</p><p><em>This isn’t the time, </em>he thought, looking around, but that only made it worse and he was getting dizzy.</p><p>He sat down, knees up, covering his head with his arms, and took deep breaths. <em>One, two – </em></p><p>But it wasn’t working.</p><p>He looked around again, and then passed out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Shh – is he alive?’ he heard a voice say. They shook him up, trying to wake him up.</p><p>Where was he?</p><p>He felt so calm he didn’t want to wake up.</p><p>‘Are you – alive?’ the voice said. When Frank finally opened his eyes, there was a blinding light hitting him right in the face. The sun.</p><p>Did he sleep outside?</p><p>And then, there was someone looking at him.</p><p>He had long hair, beard and a pointy nose.</p><p>What the fuck? Was he dreaming? Or who was this wizard-looking man? Was this the moment Frank found out he was in fact a wizard and he was going to be taking to a magical world?</p><p>Now he was delirious.</p><p>But there was no other way to explain what was happening.</p><p>‘Who are you?’ Frank asked, trying to sit up. ‘Where am I?’</p><p>‘We’re in the woods. I’m Gee.’</p><p>Fuck, Gee was gorgeous. But he was probably a fragment of his imagination because he had to be dreaming. ‘Am I dreaming?’</p><p>‘Why? No,’ Gee said laughing.</p><p>‘I have to get out of here, my friend must be looking for me.’</p><p>‘But – there’s no way out. I’ve already tried.’</p><p>‘What?! There has to be! I can’t stay here –,’ Frank yelled, panicking again, pacing around.</p><p>‘That’s exactly what I said. And here I am.’</p><p>‘Wait – you too?’</p><p>‘Yup. One day, I went out for a walk and never went back.’</p><p>‘You liked it that much?’</p><p>‘No – I couldn’t find my way out. Been here since.’</p><p>Frank didn’t know what to say. He was stuck there forever.</p><p>Though he couldn’t complain about the company, he was going to miss his life, his family, his friends.</p><p>Gee continued. ‘I think this forest is haunted.’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help laughing.</p><p>‘I’m not kidding. Fairies, ghosts, weird spells.’</p><p>Frank knew Gee was just as delirious as him, but he didn’t have the heart to tell him.</p><p>There was a long silence while they just looked at each other. ‘So –,’ Frank said. ‘What exactly do you do here?’</p><p>‘Nothing really – there’s a creek over there, and a cave.’</p><p>‘No caves.’</p><p>‘I know you don’t believe me, but there’s some crazy shit going on here. You wanna go and see?’</p><p>Frank nodded because there was nothing else to do, and he was curious. He followed Gee as he led him somewhere deeper in the woods. As he had told him, there was a creek, with a cave on the other side, and as he got closer he noticed them.</p><p>At first he thought they were fireflies, but on closer inspection he saw Gee wasn’t lying.</p><p>They were fucking fairies.</p><p>Gee told him about the trolls that lived in the cave, and that he once saw a unicorn, but he might have just eaten some weird mushrooms.</p><p>He took him to the fruit trees, and told him which ones were poisonous, and which weren’t.</p><p>They got in the creek with their clothes on, and chased each other around the woods.</p><p>Time seemed to pass slowly, or maybe he was enjoying being around Gee.</p><p>Frank fell asleep in a bed of flowers, looking at Gee the whole time until he dozed off.</p><p>The next morning they ate juice apples and sat by the creek to tell each other stories and pass the time.</p><p>They’d sleep under the stars, fairies taking care of them.</p><p>He saw Gee leaning in closer and closer until his lips were on his, and it warmed his entire body. It was absolutely magical, just like everything else around him.</p><p>And maybe since he was stuck there with Gee, for the rest of his life, it didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like they had anything else to do. Their clothes were off, one by one, and they lay on the grass, being one with everything. When Gee was on top of him, kissing him, taking every bit of him, and then inside him, he could swear the air around changed.</p><p>He moaned loudly, knowing no one would hear him.</p><p>Gee breathed in his neck, and maybe being stuck there wasn’t that bad after all.</p><p>With nothing else to do, they fucked all the time, and lay in the grass lost in each other’s eyes.</p><p>‘I could stay here forever with you,’ Frank said, caressing Gee’s face.</p><p>‘Me too.’ And then he fell asleep.</p><p> </p><p>‘Hey,’ he heard Gee said. ‘C’mon, let’s go.’</p><p>Frank was only half awake, but put on his clothes and got up, and followed him. He had no idea where he was taking him.</p><p>They held hands, and crossed a bridge, and once on the other side, Frank could already see the parking lot.</p><p>How –</p><p>How did that happen?</p><p>Was it there the whole time?</p><p>He turned to Gee, asking for an answer. ‘I don’t know what happened,’ Gee said. ‘I just woke up and the fairies were gone, all the magic.’</p><p>‘But how?’</p><p>‘I don’t know?’</p><p>‘Did we like break it?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘I don’t know. But we’re back out.’</p><p>‘I guess.’</p><p>They kept walking and they reached the entrance, and looked around. How long had it been?</p><p>Just then, Frank saw Jamia. She was talking to a security guard, and when she saw him, she ran to him.</p><p>He had never been this happy to see her. ‘Sorry –,’ he started. ‘I got lost, and lost track of time.’ Seriously, how long had it been? She was still wearing the same clothes. ‘How long was I lost?’ he asked.</p><p>‘And hour, maybe.’</p><p>
  <em>What?</em>
</p><p>The woods were really haunted. Or maybe not anymore. Maybe they broke the spell.</p><p>‘So who is this?’ Jamia asked noticing the guy holding her best friend’s hand.</p><p>‘Oh – yeah. This is Gee. Gee, this is my friend Jamia.’</p><p>‘So I leave you alone for a second and you make new friends, huh?’</p><p>‘You could say that.’ He then turned to Gee. ‘You wanna go for lunch or something with us?’ Gee nodded, and Frank just hoped the woods’ magic worked and he stuck around with him for a while.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. The Punk Princess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A fairytale Frerard style</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a princess named Frankie.</p><p>He wasn’t like other princesses, though. He liked punk rock and playing guitar. He wore band t-shirts and had tattoos.</p><p>And when his dad told him it was time to find a prince to marry he refused. ‘Dad! I don’t care about that, I just want to play music and go on tour!’ he said.</p><p>But his dad wouldn’t listen.</p><p>He threw a ball, and invited princes from all lands and knights alike, so Frankie would find the right guy to marry.</p><p>Except Frank is playing a show in a cavern somewhere, and he couldn’t care less about wearing a dress for his guests.</p><p>When he made it back to the castle, there was a crowd.</p><p>He saw his father was mad, so he made his best attempt to join the party and at least pretend to enjoy it. He didn’t even change his clothes and just put on his tiara, and joined the dance.</p><p>A young man asked him to dance. He was tall and blond. His name was Robert, and he was kinda cute, but he was too serious and Frank thought he was angry. ‘You are cute,’ Frank told him, trying to make him smile, but he didn’t.</p><p>‘I’m nervous. You are cute too, even if I was waiting a princess with a dress.’</p><p>‘Thanks, Bobby.’ But Frank got bored of him, and danced with the next prince. His name was Tucker, and damn he was fine. He didn’t say much, but he wouldn’t stop looking at Frank with that face that just melted everything inside him. Until he said princesses shouldn’t play in rock bands and he had to quit his band if he was planning on marrying him.</p><p>There was Adam, Pedicone – who stole Frank’s wallet, though he didn’t notice until later –, and another kid he didn’t remember the name of.</p><p>It was pointless.</p><p>He would never find his prince charming.</p><p>He didn’t want to tell anyone, but he was hoping he’d find him tonight. But a punk princess would never admit he was waiting for a prince charming to save him. A punk princess needed no man.</p><p>But Frankie was a hopeless romantic and he dreamed of being taken away by a handsome prince. ‘Fuck!’ he said to himself, walking outside to have a cigarette – and maybe to cry a little. <em>Princesses don’t smoke, </em>he could hear his dad’s voice in his head. But he didn’t care.</p><p>He was lighting his cigarette, when he saw a horse approaching the castle, and when he got close, the horseman tripped on his way down. Frankie tried not to laugh, as hard as it was.</p><p>The guy walked towards the entrance and Frankie noticed he was a knight. The knight took off his helmet, and –</p><p>He was so fucking pretty.</p><p>His messy black hair and lips.</p><p>‘Is this the king’s ball?’ the knight asked.</p><p>‘You’re at the king’s castle, what do you think?’ Frank didn’t know why he was giving him an attitude.</p><p>‘I’m not from this kingdom, I’m sorry. I’m looking for Prince Robert, his father is looking for him.’</p><p>So he wasn’t here for the party, Frankie thought. ‘He’s inside – I just danced with him, but he’s too serious.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p>‘Wait –’ the knight took a look at Frank, his tiara. ‘You’re Princess Frankie, right?’</p><p>‘You were expecting an actual girl, right? Boys can be princesses, too.’</p><p>‘I guess.’ The knight didn’t know what to say. ‘But isn’t this a ball to find your prince charming? What are you doing here?’</p><p>‘I didn’t like anyone.’ He paused. ‘But you seem cool. You want a cigarette?’ The knight took it, knowing his job could wait because Prince Robert was somewhere in the castle taking advantage of an innocent soul. And he rather stay there with Princess Frankie. ‘What’s you name, again?’</p><p>‘I’m Sir Way.’</p><p>‘You’re too young to be an actual knight, aren’t you? Besides, I don’t give a fuck about a title. What’s your actual name?’</p><p>‘Gerard.’</p><p>‘Very formal, I like it.’ He threw away the rest of his cigarette, and turned to Gerard. ‘So, Gerard, what do you say if you and I run away in your little horse?’</p><p>‘But –’ He considered it. Stealing the princess on the day of his ball, and living happily ever after. ‘Can I at least have a dance?’</p><p>‘I thought you’d never ask.’</p><p>So they walked in, hand in hand, to the center of the ballroom, while the musicians played, and Gerard took Frank’s hand, and wrapped the other around his waist. They swayed to the music, smiling at each other, knowing they were meant to be together.</p><p>Frankie leaned in to kiss Gerard, showing everyone, including his father, he had found the one.</p><p>Frank had found his prince charming.</p><p>Except he wasn’t planning on getting married anytime soon.</p><p>As soon as they finished dancing, they ran out of the castle and got on the horse.</p><p>Princess Frankie didn’t know where they were going or what was going to happen now, but he was sure of one thing.</p><p>They would live happily ever after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Straight White Men</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>soccer fan Frank + current Gerard with a beanie and hoodie</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was football day. Or soccer, whatever you want to call it.</p><p>Frank, as any other straight white male in the world, liked sports. He couldn’t play to save his life because he was too weak and kept breaking his bones, but he loved watching soccer.</p><p>His favorite team was Liverpool, so when there was a match, he’d go to his friend’s house, or sometimes a local bar, and they would watch it together, and celebrate with beers.</p><p>He arrived at his friend’s house just in time for the match, wearing the red jersey and scarf.</p><p>‘How’s the woman?’ his friend Jason asked when he came in.</p><p>‘She’s good, she’s working.’ He was the luckiest man having found Jamia when they were young, and the one in his group of friends who got married first, and they were still together. They had three kids, and many more dogs, and their lives couldn’t be more perfect.</p><p>He took a seat in the couch, a beer in hand, and screamed every time the team scored a goal.</p><p>During the halftime, Jason brought more snacks as well as veggie burgers and buffalo wings. They were all stressed since there was a tie, and kept talking about the players and fouls, when the doorbell rang.</p><p>‘Hey, Mikey Way!’ Jason said when he opened the door. ‘How you’ve been?’</p><p>Frank heard muffled voices, and then two other guys joined the rest in the living room. The skinny one with the hat followed Jason to the kitchen, while the other one walked straight to the couch. ‘Can I sit here?’ he said, but Frank didn’t know he was talking to him until he repeated himself.</p><p>‘Oh, yeah, whatever.’ It was the only empty space, and Frank didn’t really mind.</p><p>Soon, the second half started and they all got in the spirit, screaming in frustration and celebrating when it was needed. Everyone except the guy next to Frank, who kept asking about the rules, and what was happening. At first, Frank was annoyed. Who had thought about bringing someone who didn’t even know about soccer? But he had to be honest and admit how much he liked talking about it. He explained with such detail that the stranger seemed to understand it, and soon joined everyone when Liverpool scored a goal.</p><p>‘I’m Gerard,’ the stranger said, holding out his hand.</p><p>Frank shook it. ‘I’m Frank.’ He was in such in a good mood because his favorite team had won, he kept talking to Gerard, mainly about soccer, but then about veggie food and whether or not Star Wars should be considered a kids’ movie. They both said it was a movie for everyone, and Frank admitted for the first time in a while, he was kind of a nerd too. ‘Just don’t tell anyone.’</p><p>‘I won’t.’</p><p>Frank was already getting drunk and he noticed he was starting to see double and talk nonsense. ‘So – you’re friends with Jason?’ he asked Gerard. ‘Why hadn’t I seen you before?’</p><p>‘My brother is,’ he said, pointing to the skinny guy. ‘I’m just visiting from LA, so he invited me along.’</p><p>‘You live in LA?’</p><p>‘Yeah. I’m a screenwriter. For Netflix.’</p><p>‘Wow! That’s rad.’</p><p>‘Meh, it’ll be when I have my own show. What do you do?’</p><p>‘I’m a high school counselor.’</p><p>‘Wow! Important.’</p><p>‘Nah.’ Frank soon started showing him pictures of his kids and his dogs, while Gerard drew pictures of cats and monsters on napkins. Frank mentioned he always wanted to follow his dream of being a musician but he never dared to, and Gerard encouraged him to get back to it. ‘It’s never too late,’ he said.</p><p>Gerard admired Frank’s tattoos, while he told him the stories behind some of them, and Gerard grabbed a Sharpie from the desk by the corner, and gave him a new tattoo in the only naked bit of skin he saw. A cartoon vampire. ‘You have that vibe, you know.’</p><p>Frank smiled at the tingling sensation of Gerard’s hands on his arm.</p><p>Gerard looked up from his masterpiece, and his piercing green eyes looked at Frank, causing him to blush.</p><p>Frank had no idea why, but Gerard’s smile made him warm inside.</p><p>And as Gerard started to lean in, closer and closer, Frank never moved, even though he knew what was going to happen. When Gerard’s lips touched his, they send electricity through his entire body.</p><p>It felt like the power came back on inside him after a long time of living in the dark.</p><p>The kiss was short, Gerard pulling apart seconds later.</p><p>‘I’m –,’ Frank tried to say. ‘I’m not – I’m straight.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah,’ Gerard said, even though it was obvious he felt something too. ‘Me too.’ At least until now.</p><p>Without saying a word, he got up and walked to the bathroom at the end of the hallway. A second later, there was a knock on the door. ‘One moment,’ Gerard yelled from inside.</p><p>‘It’s me!’ Frank replied.</p><p>‘Oh.’</p><p>The door opened, and Gerard pulled Frank inside, pushing him to the wall, and kissing him again. He bit his lower lip, asking for permission, which Frank granted. He pushed his tongue down his throat, but Frank seemed to like it.</p><p>Gerard ran his fingers through Frank’s hair, pulling it a little, while his other hand went down to his crotch, stroking him through his jeans, before Frank pulled them down himself, so Gerard could jerk him off.</p><p>Frank moaned in Gerard’s mouth, asking for more, and that was enough for Gerard to get on his knees and start licking Frank’s member, starting by the tip, and then taking it all in. ‘I thought you were straight,’ Frank said, noticing he was too good at sucking dick.</p><p>‘Maybe I lied.’</p><p>‘Well, maybe I did too.’ Frank pushed himself down Gerard’s throat, until he came.</p><p>Frank then returned the favor, and then kissed him one more time so that Gerard could taste himself. ‘Fuck that was good.’</p><p>They soon joined the rest in the backyard, smiling at each other.</p><p>When they left, Frank could swear Gerard slipped his hand down his back pocket, giving him a little squeeze. He checked it a second later, and found a piece of paper. <em>Call me, </em>it said, followed by Gerard’s number. He smiled to himself.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. The Influence of Art in Our Lives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>college AU/going to a concert together</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gerard didn’t want to be there. Ray promised it’d be fun but for Gerard none of this is fun. He likes the drinking part, but there wasn’t any reason to just stay home to do that. He didn’t like people or socializing, or having to answer stupid questions. ‘Dude!’ Ray said when they got to his friend Matt’s apartment. ‘You’re about to graduate from college, and you haven’t even experienced college life!’</p><p>‘That’s because I got in college to study and get a degree not to party. Also, I’m an art student! This isn’t for me!’</p><p>‘Just shut up and have fun!’</p><p>‘What if I don’t have fun?’ Gerard asked. People were outside the building, smoking, talking, and Gerard was starting to have an anxiety attack. ‘What do I get if I hate it?’</p><p>‘Fine. I’ll give you $100 if you don’t have a good time.’</p><p>‘Deal.’ Those would be the easiest $100 he’d ever made, Gerard thought.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>As expected, the party was lame. Everyone was drinking or smoking weed. They were all friends so they were talking or being stupid, but he only knew Ray and Ray was somewhere else. So Gerard grabbed another beer and sat by the corner. When he got bored – literally two minutes later – he took a stack of napkins from the kitchen and found a pen, and started drawing. He recreated what he was seeing and made it into a little comic.</p><p>‘Wow! You’re fucking good!’ someone said above him. When Gerard looked up, he saw a guy standing there. No, a boy. He looked too young to even be in college. He had a cigarette between his lips, and was wearing a stupid beanie.</p><p>‘Thanks,’ Gerard said. He couldn’t help blushing.</p><p>‘I’m serious!’ the boy said, and sat next to Gerard. ‘Can I see?’</p><p>Gerard didn’t know how to react, and just handed him what he’d done. The boy seemed genuinely entertained by them, and was laughing at the funny parts. ‘I love this!’</p><p>‘Thank you,’ Gerard said with a shy smile.</p><p>‘I’m Frank, by the way.’</p><p>‘Gerard.’ Frank shook his hand, and hugged him, as if they were close. But he looked high as fuck. He was cute though. Fuck, no. What if he was a minor? ‘You’re in college? Aren’t you too young?’ He just wanted to make sure.</p><p>‘I’m nineteen.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed because he didn’t know what to say.</p><p>‘It’s fine, everyone says the same thing.’ They kept talking for a while, and at some point, Frank offered his joint to him, and Gerard kept drawing. Frank was talking to him about an essay he was working on, about the influence of art on one’s personality. Gerard thought he was very eloquent for a nineteen-year-old pothead, and could listen to him talk all day, and Frank liked to talk.</p><p>An hour – or two – later, Gerard showed him the mini comic he drew of Frank. It showed him smoking and talking all philosophical. ‘This is the best thing ever!’ Frank said. ‘Can I keep it?’</p><p>‘Of course!’ Frank hugged him again, and Gerard couldn’t help noticing the strange feeling inside him.</p><p>Soon, Frank said he had to leave. ‘It was great meeting you!’ he said. ‘Why hadn’t I seen you before?’</p><p>‘I don’t go to parties.’</p><p>‘That’s a shame!’ He almost turned around to leave but then came back. ‘Hey, can you help me with my essay. I may need another artist to interview.’</p><p>‘Yeah. Absolutely.’</p><p>‘Can you meet me at the library? Tomorrow, around noon, maybe?’</p><p>‘Yeah, it’s fine.’ <em>Fuck. </em>What he had got himself into, Gerard thought as Frank walked away.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>‘You lost your $100, by the way,’ Ray told him on their way back to the apartment they shared. Gerard played dumb. He obviously knew what Ray was talking about. ‘I saw you talking to that guy, and you were clearly having fun.’</p><p>‘Whatever.’ He couldn’t hide the smile that was forming.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Gerard was late to the library. It wasn’t his fault, though.</p><p>Ray had to give him a ride to the campus, and they stopped for gas. ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, taking a seat in front of Frank. It wasn’t hard to find him in an empty college library. It was Sunday, after all.</p><p>‘It’s fine. It gave me time to get a coffee.’ Frank looked so different from the night before. A little hungover, and not so cheerful. Probably had just gotten out of bed. By his hair, it was obvious. ‘Shall we?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ Frank asked him questions, mostly about art, what was his medium, his influences, when did he start drawing and how it made him who he was. Gerard answered however he could, and Frank wrote everything down. Frank asked him if he could have a drawing or something for his project, and Gerard gave him a drawing he’d made that morning of bird outside his window.</p><p>‘This is fucking good!’</p><p>‘Thanks! You can keep it after your project!’</p><p>‘Thanks, man!’ Frank got his shitty laptop to finish his paper, and add what Gerard had told him, while Gerard himself got his sketchbook out and started a new piece. It was so relaxing, sitting together to work on their own stuff, Frank thought. It was definitely better than doing it in his dorm all by himself.</p><p>So much, that they started doing it more often. At least twice a week, they’d meet at the library, each to work on something different. They wouldn’t talk, unless one of them had a question they thought the other could help with. Sometimes, after that they’d stop at the cafeteria for something, something small and cheap because they were both broke. Sometimes they’d smoke together outside the library and talk about comics and music.</p><p>One day, an hour into their study time, Frank slid his textbook to the other side of the table, where Gerard was sitting. He didn’t say anything, just hoped Gerard saw what he was trying to show him.</p><p>He thought it was one of the pictures of architecture. But he didn’t know why.</p><p>Then, at the top of the page, Frank’s neat handwriting stood out. <em>I have an extra ticket to see Thursday tonight, you wanna go?</em></p><p>Gerard looked up from the page, and saw him smiling nervously. Was it what he thought it was? <em>Yeah, sure, </em>Gerard wrote in response and gave the book back to Frank.</p><p>Frank smiled when he saw it, and then wrote <em>rad!</em></p><p><em>Haha </em>Gerard responded on the margins of the page. <em>Awesome then!</em></p><p>
  <em>Fucking awesome!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hell yeah! Is this…</em>
</p><p><em>A date? </em>Frank wrote. <em>Only if you want it to</em></p><p>
  <em>A date it is then.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Pick you up at seven?</em>
</p><p>They both smiled at each other, blushing.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Frank was parked outside Gerard’s building. He found him smoking, clearly nervous.</p><p>‘You look good,’ Frank said. Gerard knew he was lying, he looked the same. Frank on the other hand –</p><p>He was wearing that stupid beanie and his stupid fingerless gloves, and a jean jacket. Gerard didn’t know why Frank could even be interested in him and he almost backed out. But it was too late.</p><p>Frank got in his car, Gerard following him behind.</p><p>They were very quiet on the way there, listening to the band’s album in silence. Gerard wanted to know why Frank had asked him out but he was afraid to ask. He probably just didn’t want to be alone at the concert. But again, he was the one who mentioned it was a date.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>The opening act was already playing, and the place was packed. They carded them so Frank couldn’t get any drinks other than Coke and water, but joke was on them because he had already had three beers at home.</p><p>Which didn’t help his nervousness.</p><p>Gerard got two beers, and they sneaked closer to the stage. Frank finished his Coke, and Gerard poured the contents of a beer can into the can of Coke.</p><p>Soon, Thursday walked onstage and started playing. Frank sang to every song, and jumped around, and was so into the music that when Gerard reached for his hand and wrapped his fingers around his, it caught him off guard. Frank turned to him, smiling and squeezing Gerard’s hand. A song later, Frank leaned in to kiss Gerard, their lips pressed together.</p><p>Gerard could swear there were fireworks when they kissed.</p><p>Without saying another word, they held to each other, kissing the fuck out of each other for the rest of the set. Best date ever, Gerard thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. S-I-N, I S-I-N</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Iero twins + priest Gerard AU</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Good evening, ladies, gentlemen and gays!’ the emcee announced, and the audience cheered. ‘And welcome to our Annual Boys’ Night at the Revenge Club!’</p><p>It was like their own personal Christmas. But instead of garlands and Christmas trees, there were pink feathers and glitter everywhere, as well as giant plush dildos in every corner. They had a show with over forty strippers, and raffles. Sex toy kits and privates with their favorite stripper were only some of the prizes.</p><p>It was the busiest night of the year, and though Anthony hated it, he did love the tips. ‘What are you getting, babe?’ he asked a random old man. He hated having to be flirty with men like him, but those were the ones who left the best tips.</p><p>‘What about a blowjob from you, boy?’ the man answered.</p><p>‘I’m just the bartender, sweetheart,’ he replied, faking a smile under his shoulder length black hair. ‘If you want a blowjob, pay for a private from those guys over there.’ He pointed to the strippers dancing behind them.</p><p>Anthony would never dare to be up there, wearing a G-string or dancing in public. He was too shy for that.</p><p>His twin brother, though –</p><p>Frank didn’t give a shit about anything. Not about having sex with random people, not about dancing in his underwear in public wearing gold thongs, not about going around with a mustache.</p><p>He had started working as a stripper only a couple years prior when he was unemployed, and that was the first place he saw with a <em>Help Needed </em>sign. When they asked him if he’d be willing to work as a dancer, he said he would. And he ended up enjoying it.</p><p>A year later he got his brother a job as bartender. ‘Don’t you mind him seeing what you do for a living?’ his manager asked once.</p><p>‘He already knows.’</p><p>But Anthony pretended not to see his brother sneaking out with random men after his shift, or how he offered his services after work.</p><p>They were so different.</p><p>While Frank had random hookups with almost everyone, Anthony was still waiting for his prince charming. He hadn’t had an actual relationship in a while, but there was a guy he was seeing recently. He never wanted to commit to an actual relationship, so they had to hide. Anthony was sure he was married, and that was why. Until during one of their many meetings to hookup, as they made it to Anthony’s apartment, making out in the corridor, they ran into an old lady. ‘Father Way?!’ she said surprised. Anthony was confused and turned to Gerard, who was sweating.</p><p>‘What is she talking about?’ Anthony asked, but Gerard just shook his head.</p><p>The old lady continued. ‘He’s a priest!’</p><p>‘What the fuck!’ So they stopped seeing each other.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>And just then, he saw him.</p><p>Gerard. In the middle of the crowd, watching the strippers dance around the pole, and having too much fun.</p><p><em>What the fuck, </em>Anthony thought.</p><p>He did a double take, just to make sure, but yeah, it was definitely him. He was wearing his leather jacket to cover his collar, and he would never forget that stupid smile that made him look so innocent, when he was not.</p><p>Then, he remembered there was a stripper up there with a face exactly the same as his – except for the awful mustache –, and of course he was staring at his brother!</p><p>And of course Frank had no idea and was giving him a lap dance, letting him pet him.</p><p>Had he not noticed the resemblance?</p><p>He was about to run to the other side of the room to stop whatever was happening, when the emcee interrupted the show. ‘Are you ready, lovelies?!’ Poison said. She was the biggest drag in the city, and it costed them a fortune to hire her every year, but it was worth it.</p><p>She started announcing the winners of the raffle. They started with the ones where everyone in the audience participated, and the prizes were dildos or free drinks. Then the big ones for the donors. The bigger the donor, the bigger the prize.</p><p>A $100 voucher for a sex shop, a kit of sex toys, and the big one, a private with their stripper of choice, plus another kit of sex toys. The voucher went to a guy named Matt. The first kit to a middle-aged woman named Karen, who seemed very excited. And when they announced the biggest one, they did a whole ceremony before taking the little slip of paper from the container.</p><p>‘And the winner of  this year’s Boys’ Night is –’ Poison unfolded the little piece of paper, and read it. ‘Gerard Way!’</p><p>Anthony couldn’t help but laugh hysterically behind the counter.</p><p>A priest had won a private at the local gay club!</p><p>This was the best thing ever, and he wanted to tell everyone about it, though he wasn’t sure it was a good idea. But it was just too funny.</p><p>While everyone cheered, he saw Gerard getting onstage, all nervous, hoping no one would recognize him. Which made it even funnier and Anthony couldn’t resist, and he yelled, ‘Woohoo, Father Way!’ and immediately hid behind the counter.</p><p>What he didn’t expect was that out of all the strippers, he’d choose his twin brother.</p><p><em>Fuck that little holy man, </em>Anthony thought.</p><p>He saw them walking to the back, holding hand while everyone cheered.</p><p>This would not happen, not in front of Anthony.</p><p>He sneaked in the back of the house, past the kitchen and the corridor, until he made it to the other side where the private rooms were.</p><p>He didn’t even have to look further. The only one with the red light over the door that let others know it was occupied was the one in the very back. The big one.</p><p>He knocked twice.</p><p>Obviously they didn’t answer.</p><p>‘Frank! It’s me!’ he said. ‘There’s an emergency at home!’</p><p>That was enough. While he knew Frank didn’t give a shit about almost everything, he knew he cared about their mom. And just like expected, the door opened. ‘Kidding,’ Anthony said with a smile.</p><p>‘You know this is supposed to be private, right?’ Frank said. ‘Meaning you’re not supposed to be here.’</p><p>‘Oh, but he might want me here,’ he said, pointing to the man lying on the pink couch, who was still wearing his jacket, with the zipper all the way up. ‘Hey, Gerard!’ he said, waving at him. Frank gave him a confused look, and then turned to Gerard, whose scared expression was enough to prove they actually knew each other. ‘Or should I call you <em>Father</em> Way?’</p><p>‘What?!’</p><p>Anthony saw his brother’s face go pale, and had to laugh. ‘Remember that guy I told you about?’ he said, walking past Frank and inside the room. ‘The one I thought was married? Well, he wasn’t. He was a priest.’ And then, he unzipped Gerard’s jacket, showing that in fact he was wearing the collar. ‘Oh, you dirty dog.’</p><p>‘Fuck! This is so wrong!’ Frank said.</p><p>‘You think? And then he goes and gets a lap dance from my twin brother?!’ Gerard tried not to laugh at the situation, but it was kinda funny, and it was making him hard.</p><p>‘What is mom going to think about us?!’</p><p>‘She never has to know.’</p><p>There was a long pause, while the brothers freaked out. Until Gerard broke it. ‘Are you guys going to give me my prize or what?’</p><p>‘Ew! Pervert!’ both said in unison.</p><p>Except an idea was forming in Frank’s mind.</p><p>He blindfolded Gerard, and took a pair of padded handcuffs to tie his hands behind his back. In the meantime, Anthony took off his pants, and jerked him off. ‘Oh, you like it, huh?’ he said, but Gerard couldn’t answer because he was moaning too loud. Anthony couldn’t resist going down on him, for old time’s sake.</p><p>While he was at that, Frank inserted a lubed dildo in Gerard’s ass, causing him to scream, and come in Anthony’s mouth not long after.</p><p>In the middle of his orgasm, Anthony got up, and Frank took a picture of the priest with a dildo up in his asshole and his dick out, just in case he’d need to blackmail him in the future, before throwing him out of the room just like that. ‘Now get the fuck out,’ Anthony said.</p><p>The twins high fived, just like the old times. It had been a while since they were actually close. ‘You may have a talent for this, man!’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Nah.’</p><p>‘He was cute, though.’</p><p>‘He definitely is!’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Your Propaganda Bullshit Makes Me Sick</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was just like any other Friday night for Frank. </p><p>Going out to drink with his friends, and after a few drinks, he'd start flirting with a few guys until someone said yes and he'd take them to the restroom, or straight to his apartment, depending on how hot the guy was.</p><p>That night, he saw him the moment he walked in the bar, and he knew he was taking him home with him. He looked soft and had a kind smile that he couldn't stop looking at, and even from a distance, he could feel his dominance, and he fucking loved that. </p><p>'I'll be right back,' Frank said to his friends, and got up from the table. </p><p>He saw the man in the black suit – damn, Frank after a guy wearing a suit? That was new – and saw him standing by the bar talking to a bunch of people. For a second he doubted he was gay, but they were in a gay bar after all, so his chances were good. </p><p>By the time he reached the bar, the man had already taken off his jacket, and fuck – </p><p>He was fine.</p><p>'Can I have another shot of vodka, please?' Frank asked the bartender, and tried not to look at the hot dude standing just a foot away, but it was so hard not to. </p><p>'Give me another one, please,' McHottie said, a smirk on his face. A smirk that was definitely for Frank. 'And put it on my tab.' </p><p>'Thanks,' Frank said, still not looking at him. 'You didn't have to.'</p><p>'It's fine. I wanted to.' There was a long silence. Frank didn't know why. He was usually flirty and would have had his victim on his knees by now. But something about this one made him nervous, and he didn't know why. Maybe he was right about him being a dom, and that only made him more attractive. 'Gerard,' the guy said, holding out his hand.</p><p>Frank took it, and made eye contact for the first time. Fuck. He was screwed. 'Frank.'</p><p>'Nice to meet you, Frank.' Two seconds later, they were all over each other. Gerard's hands pulling him by the waist, while Frank was too busy pushing his tongue down Gerard's throat. Without saying a word, Frank followed him to the restroom and inside the first stall, where they continued making out. Frank was intoxicated with his smell. Cologne and coffee.</p><p>Then Gerard pushed him down on his knees, and Frank knew what to do. </p><p>He loved to be dominated. </p><p>Frank pulled down Gerard's pants, and started salivating at the sight of his erection hiding in his underwear. He couldn't help smiling. 'Get to it!' Gerard begged, so Frank pulled down his boxers, and started licking his member. </p><p>It was big, but he did his best to take it all in. </p><p>He took off his glasses and went crazy on it, with the help of Gerard who was pulling his hair and pushing his dick down his throat. He was already hard, so he started jerking himself off at the same time. 'No, don't do that,' he heard Gerard say. Why was he just obeying him, and why did this motherfucker had so much power over him? Frank didn't know, but he immediately pulled his hand out of his pants, and focus on blowing Gerard. Soon he was swallowing his cum, and it was all worth it. </p><p>'Now let me,' Gerard said, pushing him to the wall and kissing him, while his hand work on Frank's erection until he made him come. </p><p>'That was so good,' Frank whispered between gasps as he put up his pants, still recovering. </p><p>'I know. You were good, too.'</p><p>'Can we see each other again?' </p><p>Gerard washed his hands, and then took out a pen and wrote an address on a piece of paper towel. How fancy, Frank thought putting his glasses on again. 'Come to my apartment tomorrow night. We can do this again.'</p><p>'I'd love that.'</p><p>***</p><p>Gerard's apartment was in one of those tall buildings downtown. Frank was starting to regret his decision to hook up with him. He was sure he was wealthy. Maybe even the CEO of some company. Everything Frank stood against.</p><p>He regretted that they never really had a conversation to maybe know a little more about him. He shouldn't have hooked up with him.</p><p>He swore to himself he would never sleep with a phony or a cop or someone from the government. Fuck the establishment was his motto.</p><p>But now it was too late.</p><p>He had tasted a wealthy man's cock and he wanted more. </p><p>The building had a doorman for fuck's sake!! Frank asked him to let him inside, and the doorman let Gerard know someone was there to see him. When Frank made it to the fifth floor, shaking and cursing himself for being there, he saw the door to apartment 15, and hesitated to knock. But Gerard already knew he was coming, so he opened the door right away. 'Hey –,' he said, a little too excited. 'I thought you weren't coming.'</p><p>'Sorry. I had to work.'</p><p>Gerard let him in. 'Oh, yeah. Where do you work?'</p><p>'The grocery store.'</p><p>'Oh.' It got awkward. Maybe Gerard hadn't realized how different they were. But they weren't looking for a relationship yet. Just a body to fuck, and they both liked what the other did, and how each other felt. So they went straight to the point. </p><p>Gerard pushed Frank to the couch where he started undressing him. He sucked him and before they continued, he dragged him to his room. </p><p>And Frank was waiting to be dominated. Not only he was prepared, but that was literally the reason he was there. He wanted Gerard to tell him what to do and how and when. He craved it. </p><p>But he wasn't prepared for some kinky shit.  Handcuffs, dildos, gags, some weird shit he had never done. Then came the dog collar and leash.</p><p>That turned him on in ways he never thought it would. </p><p>Especially when Gerard spanked him. He realized pain made him horny. So he asked Gerard for more. 'Fucking punch me!'</p><p>So Gerard did.</p><p>And with blood running down his nose, Gerard kissed him, licking it off while he pushed himself in Frank. </p><p>'Master, can I come?' he asked Gerard, who nodded. </p><p>Frank was kinda into all of this, and definitely into Gerard. </p><p>***</p><p>Frank was just coming home from work after a long day. He got a beer and sat in the couch. His roommate Bob and his girlfriend were watching the news, or at least pretending since their attention was clearly somewhere else. </p><p>Frank wasn't paying too much attention either. At least not until they started talking about the upcoming elections, and he was about to change the channel when he saw a familiar face on the TV.</p><p>Gerard.</p><p>That fucking kinky rich motherfucker he was sucking just a couple days ago was running for major.</p><p>And not only he was a politician, he was a fucking republican.</p><p>'You have to be fucking kidding me,' Frank said. </p><p>'What –,' Bob said, and then he turned to the TV and recognized the dude too. He started laughing at his friend. 'You fucked a republican!!!' He was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe.</p><p>More like a republican fucked me, he thought but he was not about to correct him on that. And to make matters even worse, Gerard was one of those homophobic pigs. 'For real?! Fuck this!' he said, and left to his room. He hadn't been that pissed in a while. </p><p>He wanted to call him and yell at him for not telling him he was a fucking republican running for major. But he knew that was both their faults for not talking and going straight to fucking. </p><p>He wanted to punch himself for being so stupid. </p><p>Gerard called him the next day, but he never picked up. Not any of the twenty times he did.</p><p>Frank wanted to yell at him and punch him in the face so bad, but he didn't know how. </p><p>Gerard kept calling for days, and Frank kept ignoring him. </p><p>Then, on his way to work, he saw there was one of those stupid rallies outside the city hall, and he couldn't help driving by and checking what it was. There were signs against abortion and immigrants and the LGBTQ+ community. And then he saw Gerard was there talking to the crowd. </p><p>He parked somewhere nearby, and tried to calm down a little or he'd go and punch Gerard.</p><p>Instead, Frank opened his trunk and grabbed the megaphone he used in the last protest. He was glad hadn't cleaned his car in a while. </p><p>As he walked closer he started singing into the megaphone. </p><p>If this is the front line<br/> There's no hope for the world</p><p>It was a song he had just written for his band.</p><p>How can I believe what you say?<br/> Your propaganda bullshit makes me sick<br/> Murdered fascists make no noise<br/> I'd shed your blood to fucking save the world</p><p>When Gerard saw him, he almost shat his pants, Frank could see, but he didn't move.</p><p>'So you're against gay marriage, huh?' Frank said with a smile. 'When I was sucking your dick last week, were you anti-gays, or it's just a work thing?'</p><p>'Frank, please,' Gerard said.</p><p>People in the crowd were already whispering to each other, seeing the tension between them. </p><p>'Were you planning on telling me?' Frank said, now without the megaphone. </p><p>'I didn't think you'd mind.' There was a long awkward moment. 'Can we leave this for later?'</p><p>'I'm not planning on talking to your racist homophobic ass anymore.'</p><p>'Frank, please.' </p><p>But Frank was already walking away. 'I'm not talking to you until you drop out.' He knew they weren't that serious for him to drop out, let alone quit his career as politician, so he would most likely never see him again. But at least he told everyone what kind of hypocrite he was. </p><p> </p><p>He was late to work, but his boss didn't mind much when he promised he'd stay an extra hour. So Frank focused on his mundane life, and reminded himself to ask everyone what they did for a living and what political party they associated with before fucking.</p><p>He went back home later, just to change before his show, and Bob was watching the news again. 'What the fuck, man?' Frank protested. 'You watch the news now?' </p><p>'My girlfriend likes to watch it.' Frank realized they were both baked, so there was no point. And then the news host lady was saying something that got his attention. 'Gerard Way has not only dropped out of the race for major, but quit his position in Congress.'</p><p>What the fuck?</p><p>Frank checked his phone and indeed there were at least twenty more missed calls from Gerard, and a couple texts. I dropped out. now what? Can we talk now?</p><p>Frank then checked twitter to see if people were talking about it, and like he suspected, they were. Some were even talking about "a guy who interrupted the rally to tell everyone they were fucking."</p><p>Fuck. </p><p>That wasn't his plan.</p><p>So maybe he needed to talk to Gerard. So he texted him back. Meet me at Barney's. He was supposed to be there right about now for his band's show anyway, so it was the perfect spot. </p><p>He left right away, and Gerard was already waiting for him. 'Look, I know –,' Frank started, but Gerard interrupted by kissing him. </p><p>'I'm sorry. I should have told you, I know. But I quit everything. You were right.'</p><p>'I was about to tell you I had no right to ask you that because we just fucked that one night, and neither of us was interested in talking. I didn't tell you I'm a fucking anarchist, for example.' That made Gerard smile, because he kinda suspected that was the case. 'It just pissed me off because I actually liked you, and I was disappointed.'</p><p>'I understand.'</p><p>'But I never thought you would actually quit.'</p><p>'A little punk convinced me. And I was wrong I know.' Hell yeah you were, Frank thought. 'I know it doesn't help if I tell you I didn't agree with a lot of those views.'</p><p>'You're still a politician.'</p><p>'Not anymore.'</p><p>'What are you going to do now?'</p><p>'I don't know. I always wanted to draw.'</p><p>'Still not fully convinced.' They were quiet for a second. 'My band's about to start playing so I better get in. You want to come and see?' Gerard nodded and followed him. He stood in the back seeing Frank singing that song about murdering fascists, and he smiled to himself.</p><p>After the show, Frank joined Gerard again. 'So,' he asked. 'What did you think?'</p><p>All Gerard could think was the sweat in Frank's face and what he wanted to do to him. 'Maybe you're convincing me to join your side.'</p><p>Frank raised his fist and Gerard bumped it. 'Fuck the government.'</p><p>'Fuck the government.'</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Happy Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘You wanna marry me?’ Frank asked on his knees in the middle of date night in his dorm room. He got the ring from a plastic egg from one of those vending machines outside Walmart because he was a broke pothead.</p><p>Jamia didn’t know how to react. They’d been dating for almost two years, and she was sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with that annoying asshole. And she didn’t care about expensive rings or stuff like that. But she was sure if Frank was kidding or not. ‘Frank – are you serious?’</p><p>‘What? Why wouldn’t I be? More than ever I know that I want to live with you for the rest of my life, and eat cheap Chinese food in our bed. So, Jam – do you want to marry me?’</p><p>‘Fuck yeah!’</p><p>Frank got up and put the ring on her ring and kissed her. ‘I can’t wait to make you my wife.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They didn’t plan any of it.</p><p>They weren’t planning on getting married anytime soon. They were young and broke.</p><p>And they were punk as fuck, and Frank didn’t want to be like the other couples and have a normal wedding and a normal marriage. It would be in their own terms or nothing.</p><p>That’s why he knew Jamia was the perfect woman. She wanted exactly the same thing.</p><p>So one day they just woke up one day and walked to the city hall, wearing jeans and band shirts, and got married.</p><p>In the meantime, Frank got a job as a pizza delivery guy, and they moved in together. It was a small one room apartment in the crappiest building, but it was theirs. And it would probably take a long time for them to buy furniture, but for now they had Frank’s bed he had taken from him mom’s house and a TV one of his friends gave them.</p><p>It’s not like they needed anything else.</p><p>Frank would rather have a fucking blunt to share with his wife than a couch or a table.</p><p>And coming home to her after work to have sex before falling asleep.</p><p>But that didn’t mean they acted like an old married couple. He was in a band and every weekend they’d hang out in some bar to play, and then have some beers with the guys, smoke a joint or two. Have fun. They were young and wanted to experience lots of things, so they kept things open. As long as they were honest with each other, it was okay to experiment with other people.</p><p>Frank knew Jamia had a friend she was really close to, while he only had a couple hookups with guys here and there, but nothing serious. Then just before graduating from college, he met Gerard.</p><p>He was a couple years older, and doing his master’s degree. They were at the same party, inside someone’s dorm. Everyone was high as a kite, and making out. And it just seemed fair that Gerard, who’d been sitting right next to Frank this whole time, would kiss him.</p><p>Frank didn’t know if it was the fact he was stoned as fuck, or how this stranger was pulling his hair and trying to eat his tongue, but he had never been so turned on.</p><p>‘Oh yeah? You liked it?’ Frank nodded while the stranger with the teal roots pulled his hair a little bit more. Fuck, he never thought he’d like being treated like shit that much. ‘You want more?’</p><p>Frank nodded again. There was something about this stranger that he just wanted to try more.</p><p>They made out for a while, right there in the middle of the crowd. Frank gasped in his mouth as the other guy cupped his already growing erection.</p><p>Gerard dragged him to the restroom and pushed him to his knees. Frank sucked him until he had him coming. ‘That was good,’ Gerard said. It wasn’t until then that he noticed Frank’s ring. ‘Wait – you’re married?’</p><p>Frank nodded. ‘But my wife is okay with this. You’re not the only guy I’ve sucked this week.’</p><p>‘Wait – what?’</p><p>‘We’re trying new things, okay? We just don’t want to be a boring couple.’</p><p>‘I like that. We should do this again.’</p><p>Frank agreed, and they made plans to meet a couple days later at a local bar. They drank for a while, and now it was Gerard’s turn to go down on him. And they did it a couple more times.</p><p>Frank didn’t know what it was about him. He’d been fucking guys for a while, mainly some of his friends after having a drink or two too much, or someone he met at a party but never caught his name. But there was something about Gerard that just made him want more.</p><p>Gerard invited him to his apartment where he fucked Frank for the first time, and they watched Harry Potter afterwards.</p><p>They kept seeing each other, and soon it went from just hooking up to actual dates and talking more, getting to know each other. And Frank was completely sure he was falling in love with Gerard. He didn’t know if it was his voice, or how he took care of him, or watching him draw or talking about music and films, but he knew he was in trouble because he felt exactly the same as he felt about Jamia.</p><p>Which was a problem because it was supposed to be just a hookup, not an actual relationship.</p><p>And maybe it was a crazy idea, but he thought why not. ‘Jam –,’ he said in the middle of breakfast. ‘Is it okay if I invite Gerard over?’</p><p>‘What are you thinking about, babe?’</p><p>‘You know what I mean,’ he replied with a smirk, and leaned closer to kiss her. ‘I know it’s weird, but I really like him. And we said we had to try new things, so –’</p><p>She kissed him again. ‘You should call him then.’</p><p>He texted him to meet him after work, so Gerard picked him up and Frank insisted on stopping for ice cream. ‘You have any plans tonight?’ he asked, and Gerard shook his head. ‘You wanna come over for dinner?’</p><p>‘<em>Come over</em>? As in to your place? With your wife?’</p><p>Frank nodded as if that was the most normal thing ever. ‘She’s okay with it.’</p><p>‘Will she be there?’</p><p>‘Yes?’</p><p>‘Are you trying to get me into one of your crazy ideas to keep your marriage entertaining?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help but laugh. ‘But it’s not just that – I like you a lot. And it’s not something I was planning. And I know it’s crazy, but I just want to see if this works.’</p><p>‘If what works?’</p><p>‘Being with both of you at the same time.’</p><p>‘And are you sure your wife is on board?’</p><p>Frank nodded again. ‘Let’s do it tonight, see what happens. Just have fun. Had you ever had a threesome?’</p><p>Gerard shook his head.</p><p>‘Okay. Tonight might be your first.’</p><p>They were still laughing, holding hands and talking casually when they entered Frank’s apartment. Jamia was walking out of their room when she saw them, Frank pinning him against the wall, their tongues in each other’s mouths. Frank noticed, and made a sign for her to get close. ‘This is Gerard,’ he said, already turned on. ‘Gee, this is my wife, Jamia.’</p><p>Jamia had to admit, her husband had good taste. She understood why he was so attracted to him, and now she was too. ‘Hey.’ She was interrupted by Frank’s mouth, wet and hot. Soon he had her gasping for air. ‘So how are we going to do this?’</p><p>‘I don’t know,’ Frank said, just before Gerard leaned in to kiss Jamia. Fuck, he never thought he’d be so turned on to see his wife kissing someone else. While they were at that, he licked Gerard’s neck and his hand ran under Jamia’s shirt. ‘Should we get to the bed first?’</p><p>They didn’t answer, but followed him nonetheless, their hands still on each other.</p><p>None of them knew what to do, but their clothes were off the second they walked in. Jamia pulled Frank closer, and they were in the middle of something, Frank’s fingers reaching for her clit, when he felt Gerard coming in from behind, rubbing his erection against him.</p><p>Once in their bed, Frank put on a condom and kneeled between Jamia’s legs. He pushed himself inside her, their bodies already knowing each other so well that it didn’t take that long, when Frank felt Gerard’s fingers down his entrance making him moan loud. A minute later, Gerard was already thrusting in and out of Frank while he sucked on Jamia’s nipples.</p><p>Gerard’s hands were all over Frank, making him shiver, up until Jamia took one of them in hers, squeezing his fingers.</p><p>Frank didn’t know what felt better, either him inside his wife, or Gerard inside him.</p><p>He had never felt so much pleasure, and he wished they could do that more often. Just the thought of it had him coming.</p><p>He didn’t even noticed Gerard’s hand around his cock, pumping him as he thrusted in and out Jamia, who was coming too. ‘Fuck, fuck,’ Frank whispered, unable to catch his breath.</p><p>Right after he pulled out, Gerard was already pulling him by the hair to give his cock the attention he was craving. And while sucked Gerard off until he had him coming, Jam was coming down her orgasm with the help of Gerard, who was stroking her hair as she does.</p><p>Soon, Gerard was coming down Frank’s throat, and Frank was taking it.</p><p>He then lay between Gerard’s leg, starting to doze off too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>A couple hours later, they woke up.</p><p>It was awkward at first, and none of them dared to say anything. Instead, they shared one or two kisses between them.</p><p>Frank couldn’t believe how well it worked. He was with the two people he loved the most, and apparently, they liked each other too.</p><p>He pulled them both to the shower, and though there wasn’t enough space for the three of them, they managed. Jamia got out first and told them to take their time while she heated up dinner.</p><p>‘So –,’ Frank said, taking a mouthful of pasta. ‘That was good.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed, not sure what to say.</p><p>He saw them from apart as they washed the dishes, whispering to each other, having an intimacy that he would never have with Frank, and couldn’t help wishing he was part of that. He knew it was time to go.</p><p>Until Frank turned around, and kissed him. ‘Are you staying the night, babe?’</p><p>‘You want me to stay the night?’</p><p>‘I mean, yes – I thought it was obvious.’</p><p>So he did. He cuddled next to Frank, while he and Jamia made out before falling asleep. Next morning, they both asked him if he was joining them for date night, and he couldn’t say no. They went to a fancy restaurant and everyone thought they were just friends or having a work meeting, so Frank made sure to kiss them both so that wasn’t the case.</p><p>After that they watched a movie in their apartment, and Gerard fell asleep with Jamia’s feet on his lap and holding Frank’s hand. It felt so natural.</p><p>He started to hang out with Jamia more, getting to know each other, and they all went out to the park together, or to the movies, or just played video games.</p><p>Their threesomes turned into early mornings together, having coffee, and sharing jokes. When Frank and Jamia asked him to become a throuple, he just shrugged. ‘I thought we already were,’ he said, and kept making sandwich for them.</p><p>Since his apartment was just as small, and that wasn’t enough space for three people, they decided to move to a new place. Frank got a job as an assistant at the publisher house, and though he hated it, he knew he had no choice if he wanted to afford the new place. Their families still didn’t know about their arrangement, but they didn’t see them often anyway. Frank just told them about Jamia, and Gerard about Frank.</p><p>‘Good morning, boys,’ Jamia said as they joined her in the kitchen. They both walked up to kiss her, and then kissed each other, as if they hadn’t just blown each other in bed. They’d been together for a year now, and they couldn’t be happier. Frank had just adopted a dog, who had most of his attention all the time.</p><p>‘Gee,’ Frank said almost in a whisper. They were starting to fall asleep after fucking, and it was quiet. Jamia was wrapped around him, while Gerard nuzzled his neck. He loved the intimacy of the moment, and he knew he had to do it now. ‘I know me and Jam are already married, but – would you like to marry us?’</p><p>They both looked up at him.</p><p>‘Is that even legal?’ Gerard asked, still in shock.</p><p>‘I don’t know. But I saw a documentary about this redneck tiger trainer who had two husbands, so if he can do it –’</p><p>‘Then, yes. I would love to marry you.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank had to google people who could officiate weddings in New Jersey, and in the end made Gerard’s brother get his license because he was one of the few people who knew about them and accepted them.</p><p>They all told their families. They were all confused, but they couldn’t blame them. ‘You’re invited to our wedding,’ Frank said to his dad. ‘But it’s okay if you don’t want to come.’</p><p>He did, though. As well as his mom, and Jamia’s and Gerard’s parents. It was a small ceremony at a venue Frank used to play a lot, so he knew the owner.</p><p>They knew it was strange. They didn’t expect it either, they didn’t know how it worked or what came after, but they knew they were happy together.</p><p>‘I pronounce you husband and wife and husband,’ Mikey said.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Just like everything else in their relationship, they didn’t know how to approach the topic of children.</p><p>Would they both try to get her pregnant and see who did it first? Would they take Frank or Gerard’s last name? Would they hyphenate it? How many children would they have?</p><p>By the time they figure out they should just do it, Jamia was already pregnant. They didn’t care who was the biological father, though it was obvious the baby looked like Gerard. They called her Bandit Iero Way – Jamia had already taken the Iero last name so with two Ieros in the house, it made sense that was the first last name. Not even a year later, Jamia was pregnant again. This time, twins who looked the spit image of Frank. Cherry and Lily.</p><p>‘Did you ever imagine we’d have a family together?’ Gerard asked as Frank stroked his back under his shirt. They sat together seeing the girls play together.</p><p>‘Nah. Especially not like this.’ He leaned in to kiss his husband, pulling on his lower lip. He would never get used to calling him husband, and he felt butterflies in his stomach just thinking about it. ‘Did you?’</p><p>‘No.’</p><p>‘Guys!’ Jamia yelled stepping out in the backyard of their new house. ‘It’s positive!’</p><p>‘What?’ both her husbands said in unison, both half, scared half excited.</p><p>‘I’m pregnant again.’ She didn’t look excited. When they both got up to hug her, she was crying. ‘Can you stop it? It’s enough with having one husband to get you pregnant, with two we’re going to end up with an entire daycare.’</p><p>‘That wouldn’t be so bad,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Don’t even,’ Jamia interrupted.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Lois, get the fuck out!’ Frank mumbled half in his sleep. Why if Jamia and Gerard were there, she always woke <em>him </em>up? He was too comfy in between his husband and his wife, their arms wrapped around him, and he didn’t want to get up. Bella was sleeping by his feet, making it even more impossible to get up. ‘Why can’t you be like Bella?’</p><p>‘Just take her outside!’ Gerard mumbled.</p><p>‘Will you make the coffee in the meantime?’</p><p>‘No.’</p><p>It was Sunday. They weren’t supposed to be up yet. The kids were asleep too. They didn’t have to go to work.</p><p>And just then, the four kids came in running straight to the bed, and started tickling their three parents. ‘Wake up, wake up, wake up,’ Miles said. ‘We’re hungry!’</p><p>‘Tell dad,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘No, Papa, we like your pancakes better.’</p><p>‘Then who’s going to take the dogs outside?’</p><p>‘Me!’ Bandit said.</p><p>‘Fine, but first let’s wake up mom and dad,’ Frank said, reaching to tickle Gerard, while the kids did the same to Jamia.</p><p>Frank always dreamed about having a family, but this was beyond his wildest dreams, and he couldn’t be happier.</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Are You A Vampire?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>People thought being a vampire would make dating easier.</p><p>Gerard did too.</p><p>But it turned out, he was still the same introverted guy he was before turning, and he was still afraid of being rejected. ‘Nobody likes chubby guys,’ he told his brother when he tried to convince him to go out with him.</p><p>‘Shut up about that! You know that’s not true!’ Mikey said.</p><p>‘Well nobody likes vampires.’</p><p>‘Are you serious?’ Mikey pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose with the most serious expression. ‘I bet absolutely everyone has fantasies with a vampire.’</p><p>‘Not one that looks like –,’ but he didn’t even finish his sentence because Mikey slapped him hard. ‘What the fuck, Mikey?!’</p><p>‘You deserved it.’</p><p>And so they were off.</p><p>The club was crowded, and the music was shit. Plus, all the lights. All Gerard wanted was to abort mission as soon as possible, but he knew he couldn’t leave his brother alone.</p><p>He couldn’t even det drunk anymore because alcohol didn’t have an effect on him. So he just sat and drank all the cranberry vodka his broke ass could afford, just for fun, and sat by the corner.</p><p>Then he saw him.</p><p>The prettiest boy with the tattoos.</p><p>He seemed to be to intoxicated, dancing with everyone. Enjoying the moment. Drenching in sweat with his eyes closed, while a man pulled him closer to him.</p><p>But Gerard knew he would never look at him.</p><p>So he just looked at his phone, and drew on napkins to pass the time.</p><p>‘Is that an alien?’ he heard someone say behind him, and oh surprise, it was pretty boy.</p><p>‘Uh uh,’ Gerard said nodding. He only hoped he wasn’t drooling.</p><p>‘Can I see?’ Gerard nodded again, and the boy took the napkin. ‘Wow, you’re good!’ He sounded drunk, and he smelled amazing. A mix between cologne, sweat and pheromones.</p><p>‘Thanks,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘You’re cute. Let’s go dance.’</p><p>‘I don’t dance,’ Gerard stuttered. Did he call him cute?  </p><p>‘Well, too bad.’ And then, he was being dragged to the dance floor, while the pretty boy danced with him, holding a drink in his hand, managing not to drop it as he grinded against Gerard. ‘What’s your name?!’ he yelled in his ear.</p><p>‘Gerard!’</p><p>‘I’m Frank!’</p><p>Frank pulled him closer and told him how to dance, but Gerard was still figuring out why Frank wanted him to dance with him, and why he thought he was cute. Was he blind?</p><p>And suddenly, Frank was leaning in, without much of a warning, and pushing his warm lips against his.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help but kiss him back.</p><p>It was like they turned the switch on, and he was so horny out of nowhere, and Frank was the only thing that could help with it. He pushed his tongue down his throat and felt his skin under his hands, and he had to fight the urge not to bite him.</p><p>‘You’re –,’ Gerard whispered. ‘<em>Delicious.’</em></p><p>Frank laughed.</p><p>He was like a drug, the only one that worked on Gerard. And he wanted more.</p><p>He pushed Frank to the wall, where he busied his hands going under Frank’s shirt as he kept kissing him, going down his neck, so tempting –</p><p>‘Let’s go somewhere else –’ Frank said, already panting. ‘I don’t like blowjobs in a dirty restroom.’</p><p>‘Where?’</p><p>‘My place. But you’ll have to drive, I’m not –’</p><p>Gerard nodded, but he just couldn’t leave Frank alone.</p><p>Gerard found Frank’s car in the middle of the parking lot, while Frank clutched to him. ‘Stay awake, okay?’ Gerard said. ‘You need to tell me how to get to your house, okay?’</p><p>‘It’s right by the mall.’</p><p>They started driving, and Frank put on music. The drive was short, but Frank was getting impatient and a little handsy.</p><p>And though Gerard appreciated the attention, he didn’t know if he could drive with a horny tiny man getting in his pants. ‘Gerard – stop,’ he said.</p><p>‘What? Why?’</p><p>‘Stop. I can’t suck you like this.’</p><p>Gerard almost crashed against a tree. ‘What the fuck!’ But by the time he pulled over, Frank was already pulling down his underwear and leaning down to put his mouth around him, and had no time to protest between moans. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck – </em>Frank’s lips were like magic, and he swore he could come any second.</p><p>And when he hummed around him –</p><p>He still didn’t know how he was lucky enough to find Frank, but it was definitely the best day of his after-life.</p><p>Gerard was close, eyes shut and moaning, that he almost didn’t see the red and blue lights behind them. But he heard the voices, and the radio. ‘Frank, the cops –’</p><p>‘Fuck!’ he said, cum dripping down the corner of his mouth, sitting up immediately. He wiped it off while Gerard pulled up his zipper, just in time for the officials to knock on their window.</p><p>‘Gentlemen,’ the one with the black hair said, looking at Gerard. ‘Everything good here?’</p><p>‘Yes, officer,’ he replied.</p><p>‘Just checking in.’ He turned to the other cop behind him to say something, and then turned back with a confused expression. ‘Are you guy a vampire?’</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>Were his fangs showing?</p><p>Good thing Frank was too drunk to even know what was happening. ‘No!’ he said, pretending to be offended.</p><p>But the cop still gave him a look.</p><p>‘Are you sure? I –’</p><p>They definitely saw something.</p><p>‘I’m pretty sure vampires aren’t real. So no, I’m not a vampire.’</p><p>‘My apologies. On your way,’ the cop said. ‘Drive safe.’</p><p>‘We will.’ Gerard could swear he heard them saying they were Satan worshipers, and all he could do was roll his eyes. They had no fucking idea.</p><p>‘Vampires?’ Frank said, giggling. ‘Are they serious? They’re not real!’</p><p>‘I know right?’ Gerard said, a little nervous, and he was glad he couldn’t sweat.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Lover I Don't Have to Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I want a lover I don't have to love</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Where's the kid with the chemicals?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I need some meaning I can memorize</em>
  <br/>
  <em>The kind I have always seems to slip my mind</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘So that’s it, huh?’ Frank said, trying not to cry, but it was impossible not to.</p><p>‘It doesn’t have to –’ There were tears in Gerard’s face, a part of him he didn’t show almost anyone, but Frank. And today, Frank was also the one to blame for Gerard crying.</p><p>‘It shouldn’t had happened. I’m married, you’re married too, now. I thought we could manage, but I hate not knowing whether or not you’re in the mood. I’m tired of waiting for you. I’m tired of you tell me you love me one second, and the next you tell me to fuck off.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I just –’ But he couldn’t complete his sentence.</p><p>Neither of them talked for a while, and Frank wanted to hug him, but he was pissed at him.</p><p>Then Gerard finally said something. ‘Why can’t it be as easy as when we met?’</p><p>That brings a smile to Frank’s face.</p><p>He still remembered that day.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It was just another party, and Mikey Way had finally convinced his nerd brother to come out and hang out.</p><p>And based on everything that Mikey told him, Frank already liked the guy.</p><p>But he wasn’t expecting him to be so –</p><p>Fucking stunning.</p><p>And maybe Frank was too drunk, he didn’t know, but everything that Gerard said seemed funny, at least to Frank, who was giggling.</p><p>And Gerard was just – so – interesting –</p><p>Frank couldn’t help but pinch his nose and laugh.</p><p>He was sure that Gerard only saw him like his younger brother’s tiny and friend.</p><p>Frank didn’t know how long they’d been talking but he could be listening to him for hours. And he didn’t know if it was the alcohol or how the kitchen lights made him even more irresistible, but Frank had to kiss him.</p><p>He just wanted to see how he tasted, how he felt.</p><p>But he didn’t expect Gerard kissing back or his hand in his back.</p><p>Frank still had trouble figuring out his sexuality, or why it felt so right with Mikeyway’s brother when they had just met, but none of that mattered. All he cared about was Gerard’s warmth in his lips, and how he felt like he was about to combust under his touch.</p><p>And then, they were going upstairs, bringing a bottle of whiskey with them.</p><p>They walked in the first room they saw, and drank more. Frank tried to say something, but Gerard stopped him by kissing him again, taking off his shirt.</p><p>None of them had ever done this. They both knew they probably shouldn’t, but they needed to be there, to be close.</p><p>Gerard traced the tattoo Frank had on his chest. <em>Jamia. </em>He wanted to ask, but didn’t dare. Frank just shook his head, and pulled him closer because nothing else mattered.</p><p>Gerard was soon on top of Frank, sucking on his jaw, while his fingers worked on his entrance. Frank was moaning in pain, and pleasure, all at the same time. He never thought he’d end up in bed with someone that night, but there he was.</p><p>Gerard was tender, making sure Frank was doing okay, but Frank was more than okay.</p><p>He wasn’t sure what this was. A hookup, a potential relationship, just a friendship? But he knew he’ll never stop thinking about Gerard Fucking Way.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>They kept running into each other in parties – Frank found it funny how now Gerard was attending parties all of a sudden – and they would always end up in the guest room, or any bathroom, or wherever they could find.</p><p>Sometimes they’d be so drunk that they didn’t know what was happening.</p><p>They both liked that they didn’t have to tell anyone. They both had girlfriends, and though Frank sometimes wished he had the guts to tell everyone, he liked it that way. In the privacy of someone’s room, naked. Just him and Gerard, their bodies so close, breathing into each other. They didn’t question each other, or what they were doing. They enjoyed being around each other and doing whatever they were doing.</p><p>Then Gerard started the band.</p><p>And then he and the guys invited Frank to join.</p><p>‘So –,’ Frank asked, nervous, while they were taking a smoke break outside. ‘What does this mean? For us?’</p><p>Gerard thought about it for a second. ‘It doesn’t have to mean anything, Frankie. We can just keep doing it if we want. Nobody has to know.’</p><p>So that’s what they did.</p><p>But then, feelings were involved.</p><p>And Gerard thought it was funny to lead him on, and Frank couldn’t help it.</p><p>Then, they started doing it onstage. Rubbing against each other, kissing, touching. People thought they were just playing at first. Two bros annoying the hell out of each other. Though Frank couldn’t hide what he really felt.</p><p>Gerard knew that if he just asked, Frank would leave his girlfriend and go with him whatever he wanted. But he never did.</p><p>And Frank was completely and totally in love, and he had almost lost Gerard to his addiction, he would not lose him again. So he told him what he felt, and that he’d always be there, but for Gerard it was still a game.</p><p>‘I know it’s not, Gee,’ Frank told him. ‘I know you care about me, too. I know you love me. You may not say it, but I know you do.’ Gerard didn’t say anything.</p><p>So, Frank proposed to Jamia. He thought that would encourage him to say something, to open his eyes. But nothing.</p><p>So he got married to the only person who really cared about him, and who would tell him, and do everything to show him she loved him, including letting him kiss that other dude from his band.</p><p>Yet, that didn’t mean Frank gave up. He kept fighting for Gerard’s attention. Whatever he got was enough. Even getting treated like a fucking toy he could just throw away when he didn’t want him. Why did Gerard go and kiss him in front of everyone, play with his emotions?</p><p>And then he went and fought him when he was just doing the same thing they’d been doing for ages, and now that he wasn’t in the mood –</p><p>Fuck him.</p><p>Oh yeah, and now he went and got married two weeks later with someone he’d been dating for a month. Not suspicious at all.</p><p>But Frank would never mention that.</p><p>He just congratulated him and went back to the bus. Everyone knew why he was doing this, but he didn’t have to be there.</p><p>Except Gerard obviously went after him, and tried to apologize. ‘You have nothing to apologize for,’ Frank said, packing his stuff. He’d be taking a plane home the next morning. ‘You made your decision.’</p><p>‘Frank, please. You know why I’m doing this.’</p><p>‘Why? Because you’re afraid to be with me? Don’t worry. I get it.’</p><p>‘And why did you get married?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t answer that one. ‘So that’s it, huh?’</p><p>He never thought it’d ever come to an end, not like this. After a while, he sat next to Gerard and hugged him. ‘Maybe we should have talked about this a long time ago,’ he said. ‘Before there were any feelings involved.’</p><p>‘There were <em>always </em>feelings involved,’ Gerard said, without looking at him.</p><p>And he knew he was right.</p><p>They thought it’d be easy. They thought they were looking for sex, for that thing they couldn’t admit to everyone else. They thought they were just getting each other off.</p><p>But since the first moment, this was destined to be more than that.</p><p>Frank fell for Gerard the moment he saw him, and he knew Gerard felt the same way.</p><p>‘What’s gonna happen now?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘I don’t know. But you know I’ll always love you.’</p>
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<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Girls' Clothes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gerard hated going to the grocery store. Or anywhere for that matter.</p><p>But the grocery store was full of old ladies, who would always ask questions and make comments, ask about his mom or tell him they remembered him from when he was a little kid and his grandma took him everywhere. He knew he had to just smile, but he was losing his patience. </p><p>But his mom told him he had to cooperate more at home or she'd get rid of his comic books when he was at school. 'Mom, I'm almost twenty-two. You can't do that.'</p><p>'I can. You still live in my house, and I still pay your bills and feed you. So –'</p><p>So he had no choice.</p><p>It wasn't even a big list. Eggs, dish soap, milk, cheese – he repeated to himself as he walked to the corner store.</p><p>He made sure to be quick, grab everything and head to the counter. 'I'm sorry, ma'am,' he heard someone say behind him. He stopped even though they could be talking to literally anyone here. But it wasn't the first time someone thought he was a woman. He turned around, and effectively a short old lady was asking for his help to reach something in the top shelf. The lady gave him weird looks, probably figuring out he was a guy, but he didn't correct her. He just wanted to run away from there as soon as possible. </p><p>Was it the hair? He was letting it grow, and yeah maybe with his sort of female features he kinda looked like a girl sometimes. Or the body he hated so much, still overweight no matter how much he tried. </p><p>He paid for everything, and left.</p><p>'There,' he said, leaving the bags in the kitchen counter, and the change next to it, and walked to his room, angry. Keeping his comic books had costed him a lot. </p><p>But that night, he couldn't sleep. He kept thinking about being misgendered, how everyone always called him ma'am, or girl. And he realized he never really felt like the other boys. He didn't like sports, or anything that involved violence. He preferred singing and musical theater. And maybe because he was so close to his mom and grandma, but he always felt more connected to more feminine things. Was he – </p><p>He didn't know what he was.</p><p>Or was he a she?</p><p>He remembered experimenting with his sexuality in high school. Kissing a couple boys to see if he liked that. That worked. Even though no one else knew about that yet. </p><p>Maybe he should try experimenting too.</p><p>But how do you experiment that?</p><p>He could only think of his biggest idol David Bowie, and how he sometimes dressed in women's clothes. Yeah, maybe I should try it, he thought, as if it was an easy decision.</p><p>The next day, when he was done with his classes, he walked to a thrift store nearby, just to check out. He didn't know what to buy. Dresses? Skirts? Blouses? Should he follow someone's style or find a style that suited him? He didn't know.</p><p>All he saw was clothes that either his mom or aunts would wear. And then he noticed someone looking at him checking the women's clothes, and he left scared.</p><p>But the thought wouldn't leave his mind, so he went back the next day. He still didn't know what to buy, but he just looked around. 'Can I help you with something, dear?' a voice behind him said. When Gerard turned around, he saw a bald man, in his forties maybe, wearing a long skirt that looked straight out of Victorian woman's closet. All Gerard did was shake his head. 'Weren't you here yesterday?'</p><p>Gerard wanted to deny it, but there was no point.</p><p>'I knew I saw you before?' Then he saw what Gerard was holding. A yellow summer dress, and it clicked. 'You don't have to be embarrassed, honey.'</p><p>'No – it's not for me,' Gerard tried to say. </p><p>'Look, if it's not for you, that's a pretty nice dress. But – I'm sure I have other stuff that would look even better on you.' Gerard couldn't help but smile, giving away his true intentions. 'Aaah, there you go. I'm Rudy, by the way.'</p><p>'Nice to meet you. Gerard.' They shook hands.</p><p>'Well, what are you looking for?'</p><p>'I don't know – I'm just – I've never done this, okay? I just wanted to try something, as an experiment, sort of. See if it felt right –' He was starting to get anxious and doubt his decision. 'Maybe it was dumb.'</p><p>'Shh, no – if you felt curiosity to experiment, there should be something inside that needs to know. Nothing wrong with trying. If you don't like it, you can just move on. If you like it, I'll be here to help you again.'</p><p>Gerard couldn't understand why Rudy was being so nice to him. Maybe that's how he started. Did it mean that he would end up like him? </p><p>'So, let's start with something small, shall we?' Rudy said, encouraging a smile from Gerard. </p><p>He took some measures, and started looking around for stuff around the store. 'I'm basing this on what you're wearing right now, okay? Something casual, more introverted. But you can always tell me if you want something different.'</p><p>'That sounds good,' Gerard said from the corner. Rudy gave him a couple outfits, and sent him to the fitting room. One of the dresses was too tight, even though he loved it. Another one was just too much. The he tried one of the blouses with the black mini skirt – </p><p>It showed a little too much, though. 'Can I have some tights, please?' he yelled.</p><p>'Absolutely! What color?'</p><p>'Black!'</p><p>Rudy passed them to him, and he put them on. They also helped with that little thing he had down there. If he was dressing up as a girl, boners were not part of the outfit.</p><p>Damn.</p><p>He actually liked what he was seeing.</p><p>He figured maybe his high top chucks would go with it. </p><p>'Are you ready, honey?' Rudy yelled from outside, and without saying anything, he stepped out, in front of Rudy. 'Wow!' he yelled. Actually yelled. 'You look so gorgeous!'</p><p>Gerard blushed at the compliment. 'Thanks!'</p><p>'I'm serious! I love it!'</p><p>'Me too.' Somewhere deep inside, something made sense, and he was finally happy.</p><p>He didn't want to ruin his outfit, so he changed back and put everything in a bag, before joining Rudy in the register to pay. 'So – what about makeup?' he asked. 'You need help?'</p><p>'Oh –,' Gerard said blushing. 'In fact, I have some experience with that!'</p><p>'Look at you, honey! You're gonna rock! Well, no matter what you wear and makeup or no makeup, you are gorgeous!' Gerard blushed again. 'Have you thought about going by a different name, or –'</p><p>He kinda did give it a thought. 'Maybe Gee?'</p><p>'Well, nice to meet you, Gee. You seem very happy, and I'm glad I could help.'</p><p>'Thank you so much!' He took his wallet out, but Rudy stopped him. </p><p>'No. This was the most fun I've had in a while, and seeing someone like you realizing how beautiful you are, was more than anything you can pay me.' Gerard hugged him. 'I wish you all the luck, hun. And you better come back to tell me how it went. Maybe you can get another outfit next time.'</p><p>'I will.' He hugged him again, and left for home, smiling like he hadn't smiled in a while.</p><p>***</p><p>The next morning, he was about to change into his new outfit, but he didn't feel ready yet. He didn't know what it was. Maybe he was afraid of his parents finding out, or afraid of what everyone would say. Maybe it had been all a big mistake.</p><p>It took him another two days to get the courage to finally put it on, and the moment he did, even though it was strange, something changed. He felt like he could truly be himself, he was less anxious. He didn't know why. He just applied light makeup on his eyes, lip gloss, and fix his hair around his face. Wow, he looked like a completely different person. </p><p>He out on his beret, and headed out through the garage door so no one could see him. </p><p>Her?</p><p>The walked to the train station felt – weird.</p><p>He could see a couple men staring, but in a different way. And Gee didn't know how to act.</p><p>He got looks from more people on the train, and someone even held the door for him – her. </p><p>Gee stopped for coffee at the café down the block, and smiled when they called her ma'am. 'Can I have your name?' the barista said. </p><p>'Gee.'</p><p>'I like it.'</p><p>'Thank you.'</p><p>She got nervous when she got to her classes, afraid her classmates would say anything. But no one really did. She was in art school in NYC, so that was more than normal. </p><p>School was over for the day, but Gee didn't want to go home yet. She wanted to hang out a little longer. So, she went to the campus library and sat to draw, getting more looks from other students. Some dude kept smiling at her from another table, and even though she didn't like him, she was flattered. </p><p>She kept walking around, not wanting to go home, when she walked by what seemed a cheap music venue. There was a loud band playing, and Gee just had to see it. It was nice that no one knew her. She didn't really have friends in college, the few she had, had graduated, and she wasn't sure if she would show this side of her to that bunch of nerds. But this was a different crowd, and she was a stranger to everyone here so no one really knew Gerard. </p><p>She thought about getting a drink but that would get her carded, and she would have to show her ID that said she was a he, so no. </p><p>She focused on the band playing.</p><p>The singer yelled a lot, and looked like a teenager, but he had a lot of heart. And the song was good. Gee busied herself texting Mikey to tell him he was going to someone's house to play D&amp;D, so he'd probably stay the night in NY.</p><p>Soon, she was bored, and decided that yeah she needed a drink after all. 'What's it gonna be, babe?' the bartender asked. </p><p>'Cranberry vodka.' She knew her voice kinda gave her away, but there was nothing she could do.</p><p>'Can I see your ID?' Gee gave it to her, and she kept looking from the ID back to her. 'You look prettier in person.'</p><p>'Thank you.'</p><p>By the time she joined the audience again, the set was almost over. </p><p>The band got off stage, and joined a group of people nearby.</p><p>Gee just looked around, not sure if she should leave now, or wait for the next band to play, when she noticed someone looking at her. She wasn't used to it.</p><p>It was the singer kid.</p><p>He kept looking at her and smiling, and Gee hoped he wasn't laughing at her. Then out of nowhere she heard a voice next to her. 'Hi.' She turned around and it was the singer kid again. He was cute but he looked too young.</p><p>'Hi.'</p><p>'Has anyone told you you look like Christina Ricci?' he said, and Gee laughed. 'I'm serious.'</p><p>'Thank you?' she said in her best attempt of a soft voice. She'd have to keep that all night.</p><p>'I'm Frank.'</p><p>'I'm Gee.'</p><p>'So did you like the band?'</p><p>Gee nodded. 'You're really good.'</p><p>'Thank you. We're from New Jersey.'</p><p>'Me too.'</p><p>'Are you serious? What a coincidence?' They kept talking for hours, about music. Gee told him she was in art school, and Frank mentioned his band was going to record an album, and that a friend had gotten them the gig. 'You wanna go outside for a cigarette?'</p><p>Gee didn't think twice. She felt so comfortable around Frank. They kept talking and joking around. </p><p>And then, it started raining. </p><p>Gee didn't know what she was going to do. She didn't have a place to stay in the city, and she didn't know how she'd get home now.</p><p>She just knew Frank was now pulling her back inside. 'You need a ride home?' he asked. 'I don't have a car, but I can ask someone to give us a ride.' Gee noticed he had gotten wet, his short hair dripping on the wooden floor, and he looked so fucking good.</p><p>But she reminded herself she couldn't do anything about it because Frank didn't know she was actually a guy cross dressing. </p><p>'I'm good,' she managed to say. </p><p>'Are you sure?' </p><p>She nodded. </p><p>He was getting too close.</p><p>Maybe it was a bad idea.</p><p>'I'll just walk to the train station,' she said.</p><p>'But it's fucking raining.'</p><p>'I'll be fine.'</p><p>'I'll take you, really.' </p><p>He stepped closer, and she had to run outside. Except he was behind her, and pulled her by the arm to stop her. And he was leaning too close, barely an inch between them. 'Frank,' she said, almost pushing him away. 'I'm not a girl. I'm a guy.'</p><p>'I know,' Frank said, and closed the gap between them to press a kiss on her – his lips.</p><p>Gee – Gerard, fuck it was getting confusing – just let him. He was warm, and he was making Gee warm inside. When they finally pulled apart, he was smiling. 'Wow!'</p><p>Gee didn't know what to say. She was soaked, but it didn't matter. She wanted to kiss Frank again. 'How did you –'</p><p>He just pointed to her Adam's apple. </p><p>'But you still referred to me as her – when you told your friends – '</p><p>'Yeah. I mean, I figured that's how you wanted – is that okay?'</p><p>'I'm still figuring out.' They didn't say anything for a while. </p><p>'Should we go back inside? Or do you want to get soaked a little longer?' </p><p>Gee didn't say anything, and just took Frank's hand as they went inside. Back in there, Frank kissed her again, before going to get his hoodie from the back for Gee. </p><p>'So – her?' he asked again, as Gee put on the hoodie.</p><p>She nodded. 'At least for now.'</p><p>'Fine.' There was quiet again. 'You want to stay with us at my friend's place? I'll take you home tomorrow, I promise.'</p><p>Gee nodded. </p><p>Frank put his arms around her and kissed her nose. 'Maybe we can have breakfast first.'</p><p>'I'd like that.'</p><p>'I like you, Gee.'</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. If I Fall Down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*ghost of you mv AU*</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Private Iero,’ a voice called from behind. ‘Sgt. Way is looking for you.’</p><p>Frank was tying his shoelaces, getting ready for the USO dance. ‘Tell him I’ll be down there, please.’ He knew this was not the time to see each other. If someone found out what they had, they’d get in trouble. Though now that they were about to leave for battle, he didn’t know what he preferred.</p><p>He and Gerard met during training. He had never been with another man, though he was always curious. And he was engaged, for fuck’s sake. Jamia, his fiancée, was waiting for him back home, probably thinking that she was the only thing he could think about. In the meantime, he and Gerard were fucking in closets.</p><p>‘Frank –’ Gerard said, almost with a sigh when Frank met him in his office. They were about to leave for the dance, and then off to combat. Anything could happen there. They knew that. This could be the last time they saw each other. So Gerard couldn’t help throwing himself at Frank, putting his arms around him in a tight hug, Frank knew he was already sobbing. ‘I don’t want to lose you.’</p><p>‘You won’t.’ But Frank was just as scared.</p><p>They hugged for what seemed like forever, and yet not long enough, and Gerard kissed him passionately as soon as they pulled apart. Frank tried to tell him they’d get caught, but he didn’t care anymore. What if he died and never saw him again? ‘If I die,’ he whispered, taking something out of his pocket. ‘Please don’t forget me, okay?’</p><p>‘I will never forget you. And you won’t die.’</p><p>‘Then, make me a promise – if we both make it, we’re going to spend the rest of our lives together.’</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>‘Frank – just promise me, please.’</p><p>Frank knew it wasn’t that easy. Not only he was engaged, but no one would accept their relationship, and they’d be lucky to only get dishonorably discharged. He didn’t know what they’d do if they found out. But he couldn’t see Gerard like that. And he wanted it too. ‘I promise.’</p><p>Then Gerard gave him something. A silver chain with a key pendant. Frank noticed the key was engraved. <em>i will wait for you</em></p><p>He looked up at Gerard, already tearing up. He couldn’t even form words, so he just kissed Gerard, and sank in his arms. ‘I love you,’ he said.</p><p>‘C’mon,’ Gerard whispered in his ears, and then put the chain on Frank. ‘We have a party to go to.’</p><p>Frank knew it was going to be so hard being there and not dance with Gerard, but he couldn’t say anything, and just followed his sergeant.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Dinner was boring. A lot of boring speeches from boring people about serving their country, and how it was their duty now. Frank had to bite his tongue or he’d yell at them about how wrong everything was and that they weren’t there because they wanted to, but because they were forced to. But he didn’t want to get in trouble.</p><p>And just then, he felt Gerard’s hand on his leg, under the table, reminding him to calm down. He knew exactly what was going on in Frank’s head, and that was one of the reasons he loved him.</p><p>A bunch of girlfriends and wives were there to send their men off, and all Frank could think was that it was the best decision that Jamia didn’t come too. There was no point in making her suffer when he was crying for someone else. He just hoped she’d find someone else, whether Frank survived or not.</p><p>All the couples were in the dance floor, dancing to cheesy music from a cheesy band, and Frank hated it so much. He just wanted to dance with Gerard and it was unfair that he couldn’t. So he got up and left.</p><p>‘Iero, are you okay?’ one of the other privates asked. Ray, he thought it was his name.</p><p>‘Yeah, just – missing Jamia. And seeing everyone there –’</p><p>‘Oh, I understand.’</p><p>‘I’ll just –’ He didn’t even finish his sentence when Gerard appeared next to them.</p><p>‘Iero, Toro –,’ he said. ‘Everything okay?’</p><p>‘Yes, sir,’ Ray responded.</p><p>‘Toro, can I have a moment with Mr. Iero?’</p><p>‘Yes, sir.’ And he left.</p><p>‘Mr. Iero, can you come with me?’</p><p>Frank just nodded, not sure where they were going. But he didn’t take him that far, just one of the private restrooms at the end of the corridor. They could still hear the music all the way down there. And without any warning, he kissed him again, before holding out a hand. ‘Can I have a dance?’</p><p>Frank didn’t answer. He just took his hand, and started swaying to the music. If they never saw each other again, this would be their last moment together, and that’s what he’d like to remember.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank couldn’t sleep with the sound of bombs going off.</p><p>Sometimes he wondered if it was best to just get out there and sacrifice himself for the team, die in battle. Maybe that was the whole point of his existence.</p><p>But then he remembered the promised he made, and he couldn’t.</p><p>He heard about Michael’s death. At first when he heard someone saying <em>Way died</em>, he thought they were talking about Gerard and he almost died too. But now he knew he had to remain stronger for him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>A YEAR LATER</em>
</p><p>The war was finally over.</p><p>Frank couldn’t care less if he was in the “winning team”. He had PTSD, and he didn’t care about anything else anymore. And he knew he was lucky compared to many.</p><p>He came home, and moved in with his mom. Jamia was already pregnant with somebody else’s kid, which he guessed made everything easier than coming out to her.</p><p>Not having anything else, he started drinking a lot, losing himself in alcohol.</p><p>And then, he got that letter.</p><p>From <em>GW</em></p><p>Inside, four words reminded him of his promise. <em>I will wait for you, </em>followed by an address.</p><p>He was now outside said address. An old house in Belleville.</p><p>He held in the tears as he knocked on the door.</p><p>And there he was. Gerard.</p><p>He had a beard now, and looked like he hadn’t showered in weeks.</p><p>Neither of them said anything, and just started crying. It had only been a couple years, but it felt like a whole life. ‘You waited for me,’ Frank cried in Gerard’s shoulder.</p><p>‘I told you I would.’ Frank kissed him. ‘So – I guess we’ll have to spend our whole lives together now.’</p><p>‘We will.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Birthday Boy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was the first day of junior year for Frank.</p><p>And his first day in a public school, which was terrifying for a sixteen – almost seventeen – year old boy with braces and discovering new things about himself.</p><p>He thought he could pretend to be the tough guy again, just like back in catholic school, but kids here were wild, and jocks were in charge. He would never be one of them, not when he looked like such a dork.</p><p>So he kept to himself.</p><p>It took him a while to find friends, but fortunately Katie Jones, from his English class and who had been nice to him since the first day, started sitting with him during lunch, and they became friends soon. Frank would introduce her to new bands, and she would recommend him books, and they would help each other with homework.</p><p>And there was that guy.</p><p>Frank always saw him in the library when he came in every morning to finish his homework, reading comic books. He had dyed bright red hair, and always wore X-Men shirts. And he was cute as fuck.</p><p>But Frank was too shy to even dare to talk to him.</p><p>‘Don’t be that obvious,’ Katie said when she joined him at the cafeteria.</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>‘You’re looking at him again. He’ll notice.’</p><p>‘I’m not –’ Frank tried to play dumb but it was too late.</p><p>‘You like him. Nothing wrong with it.’</p><p>‘But –’ He couldn’t finish his sentence because their other friends, Beth and Taylor, joined them. instead they started talking about calculus and chemistry.</p><p>By the end of the week, Katie started to worry about Frank. He seemed distant, and was writing a lot on his notebook. ‘What’s that?’ she asked.</p><p>‘Nothing.’ But she knew he’d tell her. ‘Fine. I’m writing a song.’</p><p>‘About – that boy?’</p><p>‘Maybe?’</p><p>She knew the crush was severe by now, and that he needed help. When the other two girls made it to their table, she asked them, ‘You know what we should do? A sleepover.’</p><p>Beth and Taylor immediately got excited. It had been a while since they had one. But Frank wasn’t sure. ‘Isn’t that a girl thing?’</p><p>‘Who said that?’ Katie asked, and Frank just shrugged. ‘Anyway, you’re with us now, so you have no choice.’</p><p>He told his parents he’d be at his friend Hambone’s practicing guitar, and they both bought it. He knew it was weird being the only boy in a sleepover, but it wasn’t like something could happen because he wasn’t interested in any of that with them. And it was nice to know he had friends like them.</p><p>Katie had a big house and her parents were always working so they didn’t know she had a boy at home. They watched horror movies and drank lots of soda and ate all the candy. At some point Taylor said she brought hair dye from home, and since no one wanted to get their hair dyed, she had to sacrifice herself, and everyone helped her to turn her hair blue.</p><p>‘So, Frankie here needs our help –,’ Katie said when they were all sitting in her bedroom floor, waiting for the hair dye to work.</p><p>‘Huh,’ he said. He had no idea what she was talking about.</p><p>‘He has a crush.’</p><p>‘On who?’ both girls asked, and Frank was already blushing.</p><p>Katie didn’t say anything, just waited for Frank to say it. ‘That boy with the red hair? He always wears superhero shirts.’</p><p>All the girls got excited.</p><p>‘I know him!’ Taylor said. ‘He’s in my theater club. I think his name is Gerard, and he’s a senior.’</p><p>Frank blushed.</p><p>‘You’re going to talk to him?’</p><p>‘I don’t know.’</p><p>‘Oh, come on!’ all three girls encouraged him, and didn’t shut up until he promised he would.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Taylor told him he took the bus home, and he always waited by the benches behind the soccer field. ‘I always see him there by himself on my way home,’ she said. ‘You can just pretend you’re waiting for your ride, and talk to him.’</p><p>‘Why don’t you come with me?’ Frank insisted. ‘Or I don’t know, introduce me to him.’</p><p>‘We don’t really talk to each other. He’ll know something’s up.’</p><p>Frank wasn’t sure about it anymore.</p><p>‘Besides, it’s up to you, Frankenweenie.’</p><p>He smiled at the nickname, waved goodbye to the blue-haired girl. He told his mom to pick him up by the soccer field after three. He had to stay for a project.</p><p>And as promised, there he was, headphones on, reading X-Men. That boy really liked comics.</p><p>Frank took a deep breath, and sat on the other side of the bench, taking his Walkman out, and putting on some Misfits.</p><p>According to the schedule, the bus would be there five minutes ‘til three. He had fifteen minutes to say something.</p><p>He was obviously planning until the very last minute to do it, checking his watch every twenty seconds, reading The Catcher in the Rye. ‘What are you listening to?’</p><p>The voice caught him off guard.</p><p> When he turned around the boy pointed at his headphones and asked again.</p><p>‘Oh,’ Frank said, aware he was blushing. ‘Misfits.’</p><p>‘Nice.’</p><p>Silence.</p><p>Then Frank asked, ‘What are you reading?’</p><p>The boy showed him. ‘Wanna read it?’</p><p>Frank didn’t know what to say. ‘But – it’s yours. And you were reading it.’</p><p>‘I’ve read it a hundred times before.’ He handed it to him.</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p>‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘Frank.’</p><p>‘I’ve seen you in the library.’</p><p>Frank smiled. He never thought he noticed. Then, he saw the bus approaching, and Gerard was getting up. ‘Are you sure?’ Frank asked about the comic book.</p><p>‘Totally. You can bring it back tomorrow.’ Gerard smiled at him, and got on the bus. He seemed kind. And Frank had the biggest crush.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He slept late reading, a smile on his face now that he had finally talked to Gerard.</p><p>Oh Gerard.</p><p>And he’d be seeing him the next morning to give him back the comic book.</p><p>When he got to the library, he found Gerard at his usual spot. He walked up to the table and left the book there. ‘Thank you,’ he said.</p><p>‘You liked it?’</p><p>Frank nodded.</p><p>‘I brought you the next issue.’ He handed him another comic.</p><p>‘You’re so nice! Thank you!’</p><p>‘Aren’t you going to sit down?’ Gerard said.</p><p>Frank hesitated, but sat anyway, and since he had been reading all night, he had a lot of homework to do, so he took his notebook out and started writing.</p><p>After school, they met at the same spot, and talked about the X-Men. The next morning, Frank brought him a mixtape of Misfits songs, as a thank you for the comics. Gerard introduced him to Mad Men. Frank introduced him to blues. Every morning, Frank would read next to him, and Gerard would be drawing his own comic characters.</p><p>Without even trying, they had become friends.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Halloween was here.</p><p>Which meant it was Frank’s birthday.</p><p>He almost forgot he had mentioned it to Katie once, and when he arrived at school, she and the girls were waiting for him outside the building, with balloons, hats and a cupcake. ‘Happy seventeen, Frankie!’ they said, and put a hat on him.</p><p>‘Why aren’t you wearing a costume?’ Taylor said.</p><p>‘I’m the Birthday Boy!’</p><p>As a joke, she put on a hair clip on his hair, and he didn’t even attempt to take it off.</p><p>Just as they were about to walk inside, he saw Gerard walking towards him. ‘Oh, I didn’t know it was your birthday!’</p><p>Frank just nodded, while his friends were whispering behind him.</p><p>‘Happy birthday!’ Gerard said, and gave him a hug.</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p>‘I like the hair clip.’</p><p>Frank blushed. They were in silence for a second, but it wasn’t even uncomfortable.</p><p>Then Katie approached from behind, her arm around Frank’s shoulders. ‘Hi!’ she said. ‘So we’re doing this costume party for Frank tonight –’ Frank gave her a look. What party? He didn’t know about a party. ‘Maybe you should come.’</p><p>‘Oh,’ Gerard said, surprised. He never went to parties. He just looked at Frank not sure what to say. ‘Sure.’</p><p>‘Awesome. It’ll be at my house.’ She wrote her address on a piece of paper and gave it to him. ‘It’ll start at seven, but you can come anytime you want.’</p><p>‘Thanks.’ He walked away, still confused about the whole situation, and about Frank, but he needed to buy him a gift.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank made it to Katie’s house just past seven. Her mom had made him a special dinner, and he had to stay longer.</p><p>The party was just the four of them so far, plus Katie’s little brother, but she had decorated it with balloons and bought a cake. They were obviously dressed up, and when Frank made it wearing the same thing, including the hair clip, Katie had to get the vampire cape his brother used the year before and put it on Frank.</p><p>Frank spent so much time in her house it felt just like any other day. He was afraid Gerard wouldn’t go, but Taylor tried to convince him he would.</p><p>They watched a movie while eating pizza, and did each other’s nails. Frank chose black.</p><p>Then, the doorbell rang.</p><p>Katie ran to open the door, and there he was, Gerard, a present in his hands.</p><p>‘Hey,’ he said to Frank, with that shy smile. ‘Happy birthday.’ He gave him the present.</p><p>‘Thank you. You didn’t have to.’ Frank hugged him, not believing he was there, and that he was now friends with his crush.</p><p>He put it aside, and just as soon as Katie’s mom left with her brother to go trick-or-treating, they put Rocky Horror. They sat so Frank and Gerard were sitting together, and played the movie, singing to the songs.</p><p>Halfway through it, while Eddie was singing, Frank could swear Gerard put his hand on top of his. He looked down, and he was right. Then he looked up at Gerard, who was smiling. Frank smiled back, and they held hands for the rest of the movie.</p><p>They ate the cake, and played video games.</p><p>And just before midnight, Gerard announced he had to go home. ‘Oh, I forgot,’ he said to Frank as they headed outside to say goodbye. ‘I have another gift for you.’ And then, just like that, the boy with the bright red hair kissed the birthday boy.</p><p>It was short, their lips barely touching, but it was magical.</p><p>Frank had the biggest smile when the kiss broke. ‘That was the best gift.’</p><p>‘I’ve been holding it for a while, especially for a day like this.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’ And then he held him by the shoulders and kissed him again.</p><p>‘See you tomorrow at school?’</p><p>‘See you tomorrow.’</p>
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<a name="section0033"><h2>33. You Like D&D</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Liverpool was playing, so Frank was meeting his friends at the bar to see the match.</p><p>They decided to hang out at a bar downtown, right across the convention center, and to his surprise it was full of Liverpool fans.</p><p>Frank had already had a couple beers, and got excited every time the team scored a goal, screaming and jumping, among with other men who were celebrating as well.</p><p>And just as that was happening, in the other side of the room, there was a group of nerdy middle aged men, some of them wearing medieval outfits, playing D&amp;D, while a few others just watched. One of them was Gerard, who was too entertained, but a little anxious at the same time. He wasn’t there to play D&amp;D, he was there to work, and it was the part of his job he didn’t like, talking in front of people.</p><p>He needed a cigarette.</p><p>So he stepped outside, on his way to the nearest convenience store, and he saw one of the soccer fan guys sitting there, by himself, smoking. Fuck, that smell. He couldn’t help himself. ‘I’m sorry –,’ he told the guy, trying not to look at his big, tattooed arms. ‘Is it too much to ask for a cigarette? I can pay you.’</p><p>‘No problem, man,’ the other guy said, blowing up smoke as he offered Gerard his pack.</p><p>‘Thanks.’ The guy lit his cigarette and Gerard noticed the tattoos on his knuckles. ‘What does it say? Your tattoo?’</p><p>‘Halloween,’ he said, showing him both fists.</p><p>‘Nice! You like Halloween, I assume?’ Gerard didn’t know why it was so easy to talk to him, but there they were.</p><p>‘It’s my favorite holiday – and my birthday.’</p><p>‘Oh – that makes sense. A little too self-absorbed, but cool.’ <em>Don’t look at his arms, don’t look at his arms, </em>he thought.</p><p>‘I’m Frank, by the way,’ he said, shaking his hand firmly, and now it was <em>impossible </em>not to look.</p><p>‘Gerard.’</p><p>‘Nice to meet you.’</p><p>‘So, I assume you’re here for the soccer gathering, or whatever this is –’</p><p>Frank laughed. ‘We’re just watching it. They play in the UK, so we obviously can’t go, this is what we do.’</p><p>Gerard gave him a look, there was something about him that made him feel so at peace. He wasn’t like all the other sporty guys he’d met.</p><p>‘What about you, Gerard? I assume you’re <em>not </em>here to watch a soccer match.’</p><p>‘What gave me away?’ he answered.</p><p>‘A lot. The hair, the clothes, the Star Wars shirt. You were sitting with those nerds over there.’ Frank couldn’t stop looking at him. He was exactly what he thought the nerdy kids at school would grow up to be, but at the same time, so adorable, and his voice was soothing. He thought how back in high school he would never even think about hanging out with one of the nerdy guys, let alone find one attractive. But he was an asshole. And he was in his thirties now, and none of that matter, and he was sure Gerard was cooler than him, and he was sort of a nerd too, but no one knew that.</p><p>‘Hmm, the <em>nerds? </em>So that would make you one a jock, or what?’</p><p>‘Not at all. I used to be a punk, back in school.’</p><p>‘Then, what happened? Why did you become <em>one of them?</em>’</p><p>Frank shrugged. ‘I grew up. I made friends with people at work and started watching soccer with <em>the guys,</em> you know.’</p><p>‘Oh, I see. Trying to fit in?’</p><p>Who was this guy, and why was he trying to analyze him? ‘No,’ Frank said, even though it was clear Gerard guessed it. By the frustrated screams back inside the bar, he could guess the match had started again, but he couldn’t care less. He’d rather sit there with Gerard. ‘Anyway, what were you guys doing there?’</p><p>‘Oh, they’re playing D&amp;D.’</p><p>‘<em>Nerds!’</em></p><p>‘Whatever.’ But Gerard laughed too. He liked this guy.</p><p>‘And why aren’t you playing with them?’</p><p>‘Because – I was anxious, and I needed a cigarette, and I was going to drive to the convenience store, but you were here, so –’</p><p>‘You’re welcome,’ Frank said. ‘But what were you nervous about?’</p><p>‘I’m supposed to be talking in front of people in a couple hours, and I hate talking to people.’</p><p>‘Taking into account the past twenty minutes, I would have thought you love the sound of your own voice,’ Frank said with a smile.</p><p>‘I kinda do.’ It made Gerard blush. What was happening to him? He was in his forties already!! Why was he blushing like a teenager? ‘But it’s not the same. Talking to one person than talking to thousands.’</p><p>‘What do you do?’</p><p>‘I’m a comic book writer.’ He showed him his lanyard. Comic Con.</p><p>‘Oh! So that’s why the convention center is packed! And that’s why there are so many nerds around!’ Gerard laughed. ‘I’m just kidding, that’s pretty cool.’</p><p>‘Thanks.’</p><p>They kept talking for another ten or fifteen minutes, smoked a couple more cigarettes, and Frank listened to Gerard talk about comics and the panel he was preparing for.</p><p>And for some reason, Frank felt like kissing him.</p><p>He looked so good in that light, and the way he was so passionate about comics. How adorably nerdy he looked. Frank just sat there getting the courage to do it.</p><p>And just then, Gerard was the one leaned closer, his hand on top of Frank’s, making him sweat and breathe faster, just before their lips touched, brushing lightly. They pulled apart for a second, looking at each other for confirmation to keep going. When they both smiled, that was all they needed before kissing again.</p><p>‘You wanna get out of here?’ Gerard asked, and Frank nodded immediately.</p><p>Frank was still wearing that stupid Liverpool hat and the scarf on his way to the convention center, and everyone gave him looks. Gerard showed him around the booths and they looked at costumes and cosplayers walking around. Frank was amazed at how talented people were making their own costumes. Gerard bought him a Game of Thrones shirt since that was the only thing Frank showed interest in, just so that he took off his soccer gear. ‘Only if you help me take it off,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Is that supposed to be a challenge?’</p><p>Five minutes later, they were in the restroom, Gerard on his knees, and Frank realized that even though he was a total nerd, he had a talent. They walked out of the restroom, Frank wearing his Winter Is Coming t-shirt, with his Liverpool stuff in a plastic bag, and continued walking around.</p><p>Gerard took him to see the section where people were playing D&amp;D, and explained to him some of the rules, though he doubted he understood. Frank listened attentively no matter what, trying his best, and couldn’t help going for Gerard’s hand, locking their fingers together. It seemed so natural none of them said anything and kept going like that.</p><p>Gerard introduced Gabriel Ba, his collaborator to him, even though they had just met hours before, and they were holding hands. ‘And this is Frank.’ He didn’t say exactly who Frank was, just Frank. <em>He’s Frank. </em></p><p>Then, he had to go to his panel, but Frank sat right there in the first row, listening to him, and Gerard talked to him to make it easy, and it worked.</p><p>‘So – I have a hotel room upstairs, and I was wondering if –,’ Gerard asked, but Frank kissed him immediately. ‘I guess that’s a yes?’</p><p>They still didn’t know how it had happened, but they spent the night together, rewatching Star Wars, realizing they had more in common, and Gerard told him an idea for a new comic book that might involve a kid who travelled through time. Who would have thought that he had one of the best nights in his life because of a fucking cigarette?</p>
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<a name="section0034"><h2>34. TUA: School for Misfits</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>AU where Frank and Gerard are in the Umbrella Academy</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Because adopting seven extraordinary children wasn’t enough for Reginald Hargreeves, he opened the Umbrella Academy to extraordinary children from all over the world.</p><p>Twenty kids were chosen based on their powers, and how helpful they could be to the team. Just days after their thirteenth birthday, they moved in the mansion, or rather the two rooms in the back of the hallway.</p><p>Most of the new kids were excited. They thought it was like summer camp, except at an elite academy, and they all had superpowers. ‘So we’re like the X-Men?!’ a girl said to the rest, while Klaus did his best not to laugh at her.</p><p>In the meantime, Gerard, one of the new kids was sitting on his bunk, reading comic books and listening to music. Tuning out everything. While he was excited to be like one of the characters in those comics he liked so much, he was still the chubby kid that nobody talked to, and he knew that.</p><p>‘What is your power?’ a girl asked him.</p><p>‘I can stop time,’ he said. ‘You?’</p><p>‘I don’t have one,’ she said.</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>Gerard didn’t say anything. But she seemed nice, and she didn’t ignore him like the rest of them. ‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘I’m Vanya.’</p><p>He let her borrow his comic books, and she taught him to play the violin, and they became friends just like that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Soon the new kids realized that it was no summer camp, and that it was not going to be fun.</p><p>Most kids came out crying after training with Mr. Hargreeves. Gerard had his power under control, though. He had used it so much for tests and to sleep in or read comics, that he knew how it worked best for him. Still, Mr. Hargreeves yelling at him to focus and telling him he was useless always got to him.</p><p>‘He’s the worst,’ he told Vanya.</p><p>‘Imagine being ordinary and having him as a dad.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>But there was this one kid who always came out in tears and bleeding. He seemed smaller but Gerard assumed he had to be their age too. He would always see him running to the patio and hiding in the corner to cry.</p><p>‘Are you okay?’ Gerard asked, approaching him carefully.</p><p>The boy looked up at him, scared, his eyes red and puffy.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.’</p><p>‘I’m fine,’ he said.</p><p>‘You’re bleeding! Let me help you!’</p><p>‘I said I’m fine!’</p><p>Gerard stood there, not knowing what to do. He just sat next to him to make him company. He wiped the blood off his face with his sleeve, and noticed there was no wound.</p><p>‘My body heals fast,’ the boy said sobbing. ‘That’s why they keep hurting me. But it still hurts.’</p><p>‘I’m so sorry,’ Gerard said, and hugged him while he cried on his shoulder. They sat for a while, without saying a word. ‘I’m Gerard, by the way.’</p><p>‘I’m Frank,’ the boy mumbled.</p><p>And every time, Frank came out of the room, crying and bleeding, Gerard was there to comfort him and cleaned the wounds that had already disappeared. ‘I am going to protect you,’ Gerard said, using his power to stop time for a while so Frank could be safe, and it was just the two of them.</p><p>And for some reason, Frank felt better around Gerard.</p><p>And Gerard smiled every time he noticed Frank looking at him from the other side of the room, feeling butterflies in his stomach every time he did.</p><p>Every time he looked into Frank’s big hazel eyes, and their hands brushed against each other.</p><p>And when Frank was in his arms in their little bubble where time didn’t exist, his body in pain, with blood on his lower lip, Gerard looked at him and kissed him.</p><p>Or maybe it was Frank who kissed him, he didn’t know.</p><p>But their lips were pressed against each other, a quick, chaste kiss. Their first one.</p><p>And nothing hurt anymore.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Over the next few years, they would hide in closets to kiss, or just be together. Frank didn’t want to get in trouble, and Gerard wanted to protect him. They knew about Allison and Luther, and they knew they’d get caught sooner or later. ‘Yeah, but they grew up together as siblings,’ Gerard said. ‘We didn’t.’</p><p>Still, they kept it as a secret.</p><p>Just them against the world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>2019</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>‘That’s it, then,’ Gerard said to the class. ‘Don’t forget to turn in your papers.’ But the kids ignored him as they walked out of the classroom, and he was left wondering why he had chosen to be a teacher.</p><p>Yeah, college had been easy with his power to help him to pass grades and still sleep like a baby, and he could still do it now, with all the homework he had to grade. But he wasn’t happy.</p><p>His therapist said it was normal to feel like that, but his therapist didn’t know about his powers, or his time at the Academy, and how it hunted him to this day. He wondered if he could be happy one day.</p><p>He just didn’t have the motivation to do anything.</p><p>After getting out of the Umbrella Academy, he just wanted to get away and start from scratch. He didn’t want to be extraordinary or a superhero, like the others. He just wanted to be normal.</p><p>That’s why he chose the most normal career ever.</p><p>And though his life was kinda lonely, living with his brother, and working and sleeping all day, he didn’t make an attempt to change that. He knew no one would be like Frankie.</p><p>He just had one night stands here and there, nothing serious. He got bored immediately.</p><p>And then, that morning, when he stopped for coffee, his world stopped again.</p><p>He was waiting for his latte, and he heard the cashier talking to another customer. ‘Can I have a name, please?’</p><p>‘Yeah, Frank.’</p><p>He knew there were many people named Frank in town, but he just had to look.</p><p>And there he was. Short – he was sure he hadn’t grown up since the last time he saw him –, and though his hair was longer now, he would never forget those eyes.</p><p>It was definitely him.</p><p>Soon, Frank noticed him looking and turned around. It took him a while to recognize him. He was no longer the chubby kid, nor nerdy looking. He had dyed his hair black, and looked like he had taken a shower. ‘Gee?’</p><p>Gerard smiled. He hadn’t heard that nickname in ages. ‘Frank!’</p><p>‘Wow!’ they said in unison, and then laughed. The last time they saw each other was just days before graduation at the academy. Frank went to his room and with tears in his eyes after another round of training, he asked him to run away with him. But Gerard couldn’t do it.</p><p>He said he wanted to change the world, help people.</p><p>Less than a year later, he ran away too, tired of feeling exploited and tortured. He tried to find Frank, but gave up when he realized he might not want him anymore.</p><p>And now he was here. Right in front of him, wearing gym clothes, and probably having a normal life too. ‘You look – different?’ Frank said, clearly nervous.</p><p>‘Thanks?’</p><p>‘No, I mean it in a good way.’</p><p>‘So I didn’t look good before?’</p><p>‘I’m just – you know what? This is weird. I’m just gonna go.’</p><p>But Gerard stopped him. ‘I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I was joking.’ Frank didn’t say a word. ‘Can we talk?’</p><p>‘It’s been ten years,’ Frank insisted when they were sitting.</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>‘I think it’s time we move on.’</p><p>‘I think we did. I just want to be friends, okay?’</p><p>Frank nodded, even though he didn’t want to be just friends with him. ‘So – did you change lives? Have you saved anyone?’</p><p>Gerard almost laughed.</p><p>‘What? Wasn’t it that the whole point of you staying?’</p><p>‘But I couldn’t. I left and started from scratch. Living the most normal life possible.’ Frank looked at him, waiting for more. ‘I’m a teacher.’</p><p>‘Wow! You really aimed for ordinary, huh?’ He couldn’t help laughing.</p><p>‘I don’t know what to do with my life, okay? What do you do, since you’re all that Mr. I did important stuff?’</p><p>‘I’m a boxer.’</p><p>Gerard was confused. ‘Like fighting?’ Frank nodded, a smirk on his face. Now that he said it, Gerard noticed Frank’s muscles, and how his tight t-shirt stuck to his torso, and it looked so good… fuck, he was not thirsting over his childhood sweetheart. ‘Why?’</p><p>‘Well, I had to use my powers to my advantage, don’t you think?’</p><p>‘I mean,’ Gerard replied with a shrug. ‘But didn’t you always hate it? I mean, being in pain.’</p><p>‘Yeah, but now I get paid for it, a lot, actually.’</p><p>‘I guess that makes sense.’ They talked more for the next hour. It felt good to talk to someone who actually understood him and all his traumas, who had been there. And even better that it was Frank, the only person he had ever loved. ‘Fuck, it’s getting late! I need to get to work!’</p><p>Frank gave him a look. ‘Can’t you like – stop time?’</p><p>Gerard blushed, maybe from the sudden realization that yeah, he could do whatever the fuck he wanted, but also because Frank seemed to be enjoying their little talk too.</p><p>So, they talked more, and then one thing led to the next, and they were in Frank’s apartment, and they were taking their clothes off. ‘I missed you,’ Gerard said. ‘Nothing made sense after you left.’</p><p>‘I missed you, too.’ Frank was still as gentle as ever.</p><p>Gerard ran his hands down Frank’s chest, now covered in tattoos. He was fucking perfect.</p><p>They lay in bed naked for the longest time, cuddling. Gerard had never been so grateful for his power. ‘So, this was –’</p><p>‘This was the best thing ever,’ Frank gasped, smiling. Gerard looked at him. He had grown up so much, maybe not in size, but he was not the same fragile kid who cried in his arms when they were thirteen. He seemed mature, confident, strong. Gerard wished he could say the same thing about himself. ‘I don’t want to go back to reality.’</p><p>‘Me neither.’</p><p>‘You think the Umbrella Academy messed us up?’ Frank asked out of nowhere. ‘I mean, that was kind of fucked up, don’t you think?’</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘What? Making you think you were special and then torturing until you could use your power to save the world, putting all this pressure on literal children, and yelling at you for being useless? I don’t know why that would affect us?’</p><p>Frank laughed too. ‘At least we weren’t one of the Hargreeves kids.’</p><p>‘That must suck!’</p><p>‘<em>Poor me, my daddy doesn’t like me,’ </em>Frank said, mocking Luther’s voice, making Gerard laugh. ‘Hey – didn’t you always say you wanted to write your own story about superheroes, and actually change the world?’ Gerard nodded, nostalgic. He was surprised Frank remembered. ‘Why don’t you do it, then?’</p><p>He shrugged. ‘I don’t know.’</p><p>‘You are extraordinary, Gerard Way. You’re going to change the world, and you don’t even know it.’ Frank reached for his pointy nose. He was so damn beautiful.</p><p>‘You too, Frank. Or are those dreams about starting a band dead?’</p><p>He shook his head. ‘Maybe we should start a band together. Write songs to save kids’ lives, and kiss on stage?’</p><p>‘I like that idea.’</p><p>‘Or we can just stay here forever.’</p><p>‘I like that too.’</p><p>At some point, they did get out of bed, and continued with their day. Later that night, Frank called Gerard and invited him over to stay the night. They went on dates, and Gerard went to support Frank on his next fight. And afterwards, they would sit and talk, just like they did when they were kids.</p><p>When they didn’t want to go to work, Gerard would simply stop time so they could sleep in, and fuck. They could actually spend the rest of their lives like that.</p>
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<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Quarantine Boyfriends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gerard and Frank met when their bands were touring together just last year.</p><p>It only took them a few days, and many cigarette breaks to get close. Frank couldn’t stop looking at Gerard, and Gerard noticed too. ‘Hey,’ Frank said, approaching him after the show. ‘Me and Evan are going to the bar to play pool, you wanna come?’ Gerard agreed, and went with him. They ended up drinking and talking. Gerard told him he was a fan of Leathermøuth. Frank told him he liked that Black Parade album.</p><p>Then, while having yet another cigarette outside, Frank couldn’t help it and leaned in to press his lips against Gerard’s.</p><p>Just like that, it went from drunk kisses to making out before a show to fucking in the hotel in a matter of days.</p><p>It wasn’t like they had to hide or anything. Gerard was single, for once. Frank had divorced just the year before. But they didn’t think it was more than casual thing.</p><p>Except by the end of tour, those nights were followed by walks to the nearest diner, having breakfast together, or hanging out in each other’s bus, talking about missing each other once they went home.</p><p>Frank still lived in NJ, near his family and his kids, while Gerard had moved to LA a while back. Frank was in charge of his kids when he was home, and there was nothing he enjoyed more than cooking for them and taking them to school and spending time with them. But now, he couldn’t stop thinking about Gerard. So while they were at school, Frank called him, and they were on the phone for hours.</p><p>Soon, the Killjoys were on tour with the Future Violents again, and Frank and Gerard continued right where they left off. Many coffee dates and more hotel later, Frank asked him if he wanted to make it official and they posted their first picture together. Or rather, just their hands, Frank’s on top of Gerard’s with the caption <em>Days with you are magical. </em></p><p>When the tour ended, Gerard went home with Frank. He met the kids, and they got along pretty well. So much that when Gerard tried to go home to California, the kids begged him not to, and Frank had to ask him to move in.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It seemed like another life ago.</p><p>It had only been a couple months, when Gerard had to go to California to record his new album, and just then – there’s a pandemic going on, and he was stuck miles away from his boyfriend and his new family.</p><p>‘Hey, baby!’ Frank said to the camera, Miles and Lois sitting next to him.</p><p>‘I miss you guys so much!’ He had to make an effort not to cry. He just hoped this thing would end soon, so he could travel again to be with them. He was also worried that Frank could get sick with his weak as fuck immune system, so he didn’t want to risk him.</p><p>‘When are you coming home?’</p><p>‘I wish I knew. I only want to keep us safe.’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>But it was hard, especially when the kids were with their mom, and Frank was all by himself. So he tried to entertain himself by writing songs and recording them. Maybe by the end of this thing he could have another album finished.</p><p>When Gerard’s band released face masks on their store, Frank was the first one to get one and sent him a selfie as soon as he got it.</p><p>He and Gerard would facetime each other all the time, just to make each other company, while sharing the things they were working on. Gerard sent him the song he did for the TV show, and Frank helped him with one of the verses, while Gerard wrote the lyrics for one of Frank’s songs he was having trouble with.</p><p>Frank would ask the kids to take pictures of him, all casual while playing with Lois, but showing some skin, specifically the sparrow tattoos he got on his stomach, and sent them to Gerard. in the meantime, Gerard wrote a whole twenty-thousand word story for Frank, set in Halloween.</p><p>Gerard sent them drawings for him and the kids to color, and Frank drew something for him too.</p><p>The kids got him into Animal Crossing, so he got Gerard into it.</p><p>‘How is it going?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘Horrible. I miss you.’</p><p>They both had their guitars with them, having planned to help each other with new songs, but Frank just ended up making up a song about stupid people who don’t wear their masks at the grocery store, and that he just wants to see his boyfriend. Gerard replies with a song about being the end of the world, and there are vampires and zombies.</p><p>The next day Frank told him about the turtle the kids found in the backyard. ‘What a fucking stupid turtle,’ he said, and Gerard just laughed.</p><p>‘That’s rude!’</p><p>‘We called her Snippy,’ Lily interrupted.</p><p>‘I love the name,’ Gerard replied.</p><p>They talked about puzzles, and writing, and missing each other more and more every day.</p><p>‘I got a surprise for you,’ Gerard said. ‘Don’t tell the kids, but tomorrow morning I’m renting a car and driving home.’</p><p>It took him a few days, and asking some friends to stay over on the way there, but he was home now with his family, and they were waiting for him to watch Star Wars together.</p><p>They may had a few months of quarantine left, but it was better together.</p>
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<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Photography</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Somehow Gerard had managed to get a gallery to show his work.</p><p>Now he just had to think about a theme for his collection, and he only had a three weeks.</p><p>The picture that had landed him a place in the exhibition was one he took of an old woman covered in tattoos, in the middle of a busy street. So he thought about doing a whole collection about tattoos.</p><p>The thing was he didn’t know a lot of people with tattoos – he didn’t know a lot of people. So he called a few local tattoo shops, asking if he could take some pictures. Most of them said no. When he called the last one, the guy who answered seemed angry, and just said ‘Whatever,’ before hanging up, so Gerard took it as a yes.</p><p>He took the train to the other side of town, and when he got there, everyone seemed to be working. ‘Hello, there,’ a guy welcomed him after a while. ‘You’re looking to get inked?’</p><p>‘Oh, no!’ Gerard said. ‘I’m looking for Bob. He said I could take some photos?’</p><p>‘Bob said that?’ The guy almost laughed, but not in a mean way. He seemed nice.</p><p>‘I did not say that!’ a voice yelled from afar. ‘I said <em>whatever </em>just so you’d leave me alone!’</p><p>‘Yeah, that sounds more like him,’ the short guy behind the counter said. ‘Look, I’m working right now, and if my client doesn’t mind, I don’t mind either.’</p><p>He motioned him to follow him inside, where a guy was sitting with half a tattoo on his calf. ‘I’m Frank,’ he said.</p><p>‘Gerard.’</p><p>‘So you’re a photographer?’</p><p>Gerard nodded.</p><p>‘Nice. You work for a magazine, or –’</p><p>‘Oh, not yet. But I’m doing my first exhibition, and hopefully that helps.’</p><p>‘So you’re doing tattoos then?’</p><p>‘That’s the idea.’ Frank seemed nice. He asked his client – Stephan – if he was okay with Gerard taking pictures of him doing his tattoo, and Stephan didn’t seem to mind. So Frank got to work, and Gerard sat next to him taking pictures. He loved how Frank worked, his hands doing smooth strokes, taking his time.</p><p>Gerard seemed to be more interested in how his hands moved and Frank’s tattoos than whatever he was doing. He took many photos of Frank’s face, deep in concentration, a bit of his tongue sneaking out, his eyebrows raised.</p><p>Frank was wearing a red sleeveless shirt, so Gerard could admire his heavily tattooed arms, and a bit of chest, that was also covered in ink. He went back to Stephan’s leg before Frank could notice he was blushing, though.</p><p>The session lasted another hour, in which Frank asked Gerard if he had any tattoos. ‘No,’ he said, laughing. ‘I’m actually scared of needles.’</p><p>‘I get it. It’s not for everyone.’</p><p>And Gerard could swear he stared at him a little longer. But he tried not to overthink, he was probably just imagining things.</p><p>Frank went to the front to talk to Stephan and ring him up, while Gerard stayed there, not sure what to do. He didn’t want to say goodbye to Frank just yet. He wanted another excuse to see him, but didn’t dare to ask him out. So when he was back, he said the first thing that came up. ‘Hey – so, I’m doing this sort of collection where I –,’ he mumbled. He wasn’t sure about it after all. ‘It’s just photos of people with tattoos doing simple, everyday stuff.’</p><p>‘I like that!’ Frank said, genuinely excited.</p><p>‘Really?’ Now what? It wasn’t like he had a plan. He was the only person he had for the collection, if he agreed. ‘So I was thinking – and I don’t want to sound like a creeper, but you have really nice hands, and I thought you’d be great for this.’</p><p>‘Thanks,’ Frank said, and he was blushing. ‘And I’m up for it.’</p><p>‘Great!’ Gerard tried to hide the fact he was nervous as fuck. ‘Well, I just have to take pictures of you making coffee, or writing, or whatever.’</p><p>‘Awesome! I have Monday off. You can come over to my place, that sounds good?’</p><p>‘Absolutely!’</p><p>They high fived, and exchanged numbers so Frank could text him his address. ‘See you, then.’</p><p>‘See you! And thanks for letting me take pictures of you working.’ So he had a <em>work date</em> with Frank.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Monday came, and Gerard was more nervous than usual, which was already a lot.</p><p>He paced around his apartment, looking for a nice shirt to wear. He knew it wasn’t like a date <em>date</em> but still. He wanted to impress him.</p><p>He took a taxi to his apartment, which wasn’t that far. Frank told him to be there early, before he made his coffee, or he’d go mad.</p><p>So Gerard arrived at seven thirty, bringing bagels.</p><p>Frank welcomed him with his eyes barely open. ‘I need coffee,’ he said. He was wearing a shirt a size too large for him, and bright sport shorts, showing his legs, which were also covered in tattoos.</p><p>‘Sorry,’ Gerard apologized. ‘I had to stop for bagels.’</p><p>‘Well, that’s better.’ Gerard followed him inside. His apartment was small, though bigger than his own, and full of IKEA furniture. ‘You want me to change?’</p><p>‘It’s up to you. But I think that adds to it.’ So Frank got to it. Gerard had his camera ready, and started working the second Frank started brewing the coffee. Focusing on his hands mainly.</p><p>Then later on his legs when he followed him on his morning run.</p><p>Gerard waited for him on the living room while Frank took a shower, though he wished he could take pictures of that too.</p><p>‘So what now?’ Frank asked when he came out.</p><p>‘I don’t know. Whatever you want.’ Frank told him he didn’t really do a lot, other than watching lots of Netflix and sometimes playing guitar, so he did that, and Gerard took a couple more photos.</p><p>‘I hope I wasn’t too lame,’ Frank said while they were watching TV, having officially ended the shooting.</p><p>‘You weren’t. I don’t do a lot either, so I know the feeling.’ Why was he stuttering?</p><p>There was a long silence, and Gerard noticed it again. Frank was looking at him. and he was getting closer, his eyes focused on his mouth. Gerard knew what was about to happen, yet he was in denial. This could not be happening to him. Not a hot tattooed guy making a move on him. Yet, he was.</p><p>And now Frank was kissing his lips gently, as if he wanted to test the waters, see if he was reading the situation correct. So Gerard kissed back, letting him know that yes, he wanted it too. So the kiss deepened, their tongues slipping in each other’s mouth, breathing against each other.</p><p>There were more kisses over the next couple days, as well as blowjobs. They had lunch together followed by a trip to Target to buy food for Gerard’s cat and new sheets for Frank’s bed, which they stained that same night.</p><p>‘You have your camera with you?’ Frank asked out of nowhere, and Gerard nodded. ‘You don’t have to use these, but I have an idea.’ He set the camera in the TV stand, and set the timer, before going back to bed.</p><p>‘For real, Frank?’ Gerard asked between soft kisses.</p><p>‘Yeah, I have a nice ass, you may want some pictures of that.’</p><p>‘I do.’</p><p>They just heard a few clicks while they continued touching each other.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The exhibition was a success. People congratulated Gerard on his work, including that picture at the end of the hall where two men where obviously having sex, and one of them – the same one from all the pictures – was showing the tattoos on his back and ass to everyone.</p><p>And that same man was standing right next to him, wearing a suit and converse, holding his hand and blushing every time someone realize he was the guy in the pictures.</p><p>‘So this whole collection was about me the whole time, huh?’ he said.</p><p>‘Well,’ Gerard started. ‘That wasn’t the idea, but you quickly became the focus of it.’</p><p>‘You are fucking talented.’ Frank leaned closer for a kiss.</p><p>‘It helps when you’re already a masterpiece. And you do have a nice ass.’</p><p>‘I do.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. The Pansy Twins</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oh summer time!</p><p>Gerard personally hated it.</p><p>He hated the sun, he hated going out, and he definitely hated being forced to outdoor parties.</p><p>But his parents were paying for art school, and his dad actually threatened him to stop paying if he didn’t go to this one party. He didn’t what this one party was so important that his education was on the line, but it was his last year, and he wasn’t willing to risk it.</p><p>Apparently his dad had signed a new deal with another company and that deserved celebration for some reason.</p><p>So he drove to their summer house in the Hamptons early in the morning, and was happy his parents weren’t there yet, and he had it all for himself. So first, he took a nap after his long drive, and then spent the whole afternoon by the pool. He needed a bit of color added to his pale skin.</p><p>And then, he heard a knock on the door.</p><p>His fun was over too soon.</p><p>Didn’t his parents have keys?</p><p>He ran to the door to open, but was surprised when it wasn’t his parents. It was a short boy wearing a teal summer dress and Doc Martens.</p><p>All Gerard could think was, <em>WOW!</em></p><p>‘Hey, there,’ the boy said, his deep, masculine voice contrasting his looks. ‘I live next door. My dad sent me to ask you that if you’re going to have that party, don’t get too crazy or he’ll call the cops.’</p><p>‘I’ll let my parents know,’ Gerard replied, trying not to look too obvious about drooling for this stranger.</p><p>‘Or maybe if you invite me, I’ll convince my dad not to.’ And without any warning, he leaned closer to Gerard and kissed his cheek. ‘I’m Frank, by the way.’</p><p>Gerard was blushing, and didn’t know what to say. ‘You’re free to come,’ he said, in his best attempt to look calm.</p><p>‘I’ll see you later, then,’ Frank said before winking at him and walking back to his house.</p><p><em>Fuck. </em>Gerard closed the door behind him and ran to the room upstairs. He now had to look decent, but all his clothes were old and black, so he raided Mikey’s closet. He grabbed the first one he saw, a blue one with a banana pattern, which looked ridiculous, but Gerard didn’t care.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time he got out of the shower, his parents had arrived and they were filling out the fridge with drinks, while the catering service was setup. Donna was surprised to see her oldest son showered, and wearing some color. ‘Look at you, honey!’ she said the minute she saw him. ‘You look so good!’</p><p>He faked a smile, not in the mood to tell them the only reason he was going to be at that party was to stay in art school, and because he was expecting a cute guest.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The house was packed, but he didn’t know anybody.</p><p>He just wanted to get in the pool, but there was no way he’d do it in front of these people.</p><p>So Gerard went straight to the kitchen and made himself a drink.</p><p>He stood there for a while, people watching, hating everyone for being so conceited, though he was still the son of a rich man, going to an expensive art school and with no job, so he had no right.</p><p>But he didn’t care.</p><p>Then he saw the boy in the pink strawberry dress. His hair looked different, but he figured he dyed it before the party.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t stop staring at him from a distance, not having the guts to walk up to him just yet. Maybe another glass or two of whiskey.</p><p>‘Hey, there,’ a voice said behind him, causing him to jump. ‘Aww, you’re so adorable! Am I making you nervous?’</p><p>‘No – no.’ He obviously was. ‘I’m glad you came.’</p><p>‘Me too.’ Gerard noticed he moved different, more feminine and elegant, but he could be just imagining things. ‘Can you show me around?’</p><p>‘Don’t you live next door? I bet the house is exactly the same.’</p><p>‘Not that, you dummy,’ he pulled Gerard by the collar of his shirt and pressed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.</p><p>Gerard could not believe he was dragging a cute boy in a dress to the family’s pool house, but there he was. He locked the door behind him, and pushed him to the wall as their lips touched. They started slow, but then their tongues were slipping in each other’s mouth. The boy’s hands lifting Gerard’s shirt, and going up his back, gasping in his mouth.</p><p>Without even thinking about it, and knowing the chances of doing this would not present ever again, Gerard got on his knees, and pulled up his dress. At the sight of the black panties, he looked up at his neighbor for permission, which was granted, and started palming his erection, before pulling them down and taking the tip in his mouth.</p><p>As he licked his member, he noticed the tattoo just below his belly button. <em>Pansy</em>.</p><p>Classy, he thought.</p><p>He kept going until he had him coming in his mouth and moaning loudly, getting hard himself. ‘Fuck, Frank,’ he said, palming himself through his jeans.</p><p>‘Frank?’ the short man said, confused. ‘You called me Frank?’</p><p>Gerard looked up at him, even more confused.</p><p>‘You called me my brother’s name? You know my brother?’</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>‘I’m Anthony.’</p><p>Gerard stood up, wiping the cum off his face. ‘So you’re not –’ He stopped himself before saying something stupid.</p><p>‘Of fucking course,’ Anthony said, and stormed out the room.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gerard looked everywhere for Anthony, wanting to apologize for being so stupid.</p><p>Now he understood the different hairstyles and how they carried each other differently. Anthony was soft, he liked that.</p><p>In his searched for him, he ran into Frank.</p><p>He was wearing a dress similar to Anthony’s, but in black. And he noticed the now familiar silver hair on the sides with the black fringe. And he was wearing fucking red eyeshadow and lipstick.</p><p>
  <em>Wow.</em>
</p><p>‘I was looking for you,’ Frank said.</p><p>Gerard was sure by now Anthony had already told him, and he was expecting a slap or a punch to the face. He’d be honored if Frank punched him. To be honest, it kinda turned him on just thinking about it. But it never came.</p><p>Instead, he was leaning forward and pressing his red lips against Gerard’s, quickly getting more and more intense.</p><p>Gerard couldn’t stop it.</p><p>Even though he had just sucked his brother’s dick, Gerard was pulling Frank to one of the guest rooms upstairs. He knew it was wrong, but the opportunity would never present itself to be with twins.</p><p>Gerard got on his knees again, planning on sucking him off too, but Frank had other plans. He pushed Gerard to the bed, pulling off his pants and underwear and leaving him completely naked. ‘I see you’re already hard for me,’ Frank said, and Gerard bit his lip trying not to think about how Anthony helped too.</p><p>Frank got on top of him, straddling him, and Gerard noticed he wasn’t wearing underwear under his dress. The contact of their dicks against each other was sending him over the edge, while Frank aligned his entrance with Gerard’s member. No lube or anything.</p><p>Gerard moaned loudly as Frank was riding him, not even complaining about pain or the sting.</p><p>Gerard then reached for Frank’s member under the black strawberry dress, helping him by jerking him off, and noticed the tattoo on the same exact spot Anthony had his. But Frank’s said <em>Evil </em>in red capitalized letter.</p><p>‘You liked it?’ Frank asked, and all Gerard could do was smile.</p><p>Soon, they were both coming at the same time.</p><p>‘That was fantastic,’ Frank said. ‘Thanks for inviting me.’</p><p>As they headed downstairs, they ran into Anthony right away. ‘Oh – hey, you!’ he said, with a devious smile.</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to say.</p><p>‘So you fucked my brother too?’</p><p>‘I –’</p><p>‘You too?’ Frank asked, but Gerard was surprised he didn’t look mad, more like proud of his twin brother, and they both high fived.</p><p><em>What the fuck? </em>he thought.</p><p>‘We got as far as a blow job, but he’s good.’</p><p>‘Wait – so you’re not mad?’ Gerard asked, confused.</p><p>They both laughed. ‘We’ve been sharing toys and dresses since we can remember,’ Anthony said. ‘Sharing a guy is not a big deal. We kinda had it all planned.’</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>‘Relax, you’re not the first.’</p><p>‘But we like you,’ Frank said, joining his brother. ‘So if you wanna do it again, you know where we live.’ And then they were off.</p><p>Maybe he’d be back at the summer house soon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. You  Wanna Bet?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>dilf frank + (teacher era) Gerard</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frank almost never went out to drink or hang out with his friends. Mainly because his job as nurse didn’t allow him to do much, and he mostly spent it sleeping.</p><p>It was almost a year since his last – and longest – relationship ended, and he was just now getting used to being single. He had his dogs, and that was all that mattered.</p><p>But Evan and Tucker convinced him to go with them to the bar, and it was his first night off in ages, so he had to.</p><p>He didn’t even have nice clothes to go out anymore. So he wore jeans, a simple gray t-shirt and a hat. Comfort over fashion, was his new motto. It wasn’t like he was going to look for a boyfriend, anyway.</p><p>It was nice to see them, catching up, and being dumb like they used to. Tucker showed them pictures of his daughter, and he wished he had his own family. But at least he had his friends. They planned to meet again and play music, like they used to, and talked about their jobs.</p><p>After a while, Tucker convinced them to go play pool.</p><p>It went on for a while, Frank winning most of the time. He had forgotten how much he enjoyed it, and hanging out with his friends.</p><p>And he also couldn’t help noticing the guy standing by the corner, a cigarette in his mouth. Frank knew he was looking at him, he had been for a while. Frank had forgotten how it felt to be looked at. He hadn’t felt it in the longest time. He didn’t feel attractive anymore.</p><p>And every time he turned around, there he was, the attractive stranger with the messy hair, blowing up smoke and staring at Frank as if he was making plans in his head. He looked younger than Frank, but he didn’t care about that.</p><p>Not that something was going to happen.</p><p>But then, he saw him approaching. ‘Mind if I join you?’ he asked, the cigarette resting on his lips.</p><p>Frank immediately looked up, almost dropping his cue.</p><p>Tucker noticed his friend reaction, and he knew what it was about. ‘It’s cool.’ Frank gave him a look that could kill him, but Tucker knew deep inside he was thanking him.</p><p>‘Thanks,’ the stranger said, getting closer to Frank. ‘So – what do you say? Shall we?’</p><p>Frank knew he could beat him easily. He was just being cocky. ‘I’m in,’ he said.</p><p>‘You wanna bet something?’</p><p>‘Fine, whoever loses, pays for the next round of drinks,’ Frank replied, just as cocky.</p><p>‘Fine.’ And so they began, Tucker and Evan standing nearby, watching the scene play out. Not long after the stranger lost, so he bought them all drinks. ‘Happy?’</p><p>Frank just smiled, taking a sip from his drink.</p><p>‘What about if I win, you give me your name?’</p><p>‘What if I win?’</p><p>‘I’ll give you my phone number.’</p><p>‘Deal.’ Frank had never been one to flirt. All his relationships were born out of friendship that turned into something more, or the other person flirting. But he felt like going with the flow.</p><p>Everyone thought Frank was going to win and in the last second, he <em>accidentally </em>pocketed the 8-ball, never breaking the eye contact. ‘I guess you’ll have to give me your phone number.’</p><p>His friends tried not to laugh, while Frank handed him his phone. When he gave it back, Frank read, ‘Gerard.’ He pressed the call button, and a second later, Gerard answered his phone.</p><p>‘Hey.’</p><p>‘Hey, it’s Frank,’ he said smiling.</p><p>‘So, Frank.’</p><p>‘Yep.’</p><p>They kept talking on the phone, while staring at each other. ‘What do you say about another round?’</p><p>‘Another round? And what’s the wager?’</p><p>‘If I win, you’ll do whatever I want.’</p><p>‘And what if I win.’</p><p>‘Oh, I’m definitely going to win.’ And he did. It wasn’t clear if it was on his own merits, or Frank had helped, but he did win.</p><p>‘So – you beat me! Shocking!’ There was a mischievous smile on Frank’s face, and just then, Gerard walked up to him, and pushed his mouth against Frank’s, his lips eager to taste him. Frank kissed back just as impatient, and they quickly moved to the restroom, hands all over each other.</p><p>‘My place?’ Gerard asked, and Frank nodded, even though it was not up to him to decide what was about to happen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gerard lived in a crappy apartment just outside downtown, and it smelled just like Frank thought it would. Coffee and cigarettes. There were art supplies everywhere, and half-finished drawings lying around.</p><p>An artist.</p><p>Without even asking, Gerard pushed him to the couch, taking off his shirt in the meantime. ‘Fuck, you’re beautiful,’ he said when he got a glimpse of Frank’s tattoos. But more importantly, his stomach. Gerard was a sucker for some chub, and Frank was perfectly chubby. Gerard’s artist fingers rubbed the sides of his stomach, paying special attention to the sparrow tattoos. He placed tiny kisses on each of them, causing Frank to moan under him.</p><p>A minute Frank’s pants and underwear were off, and Gerard’s hand was on his erection, while still rubbing his belly.</p><p>‘Just fuck me,’ Frank panted.</p><p>‘Beg me for it.’</p><p>The sound of Gerard’s voice demanding him turned on Frank even more, so he begged. He liked to be under control, to be told what to do.</p><p>‘On your knees,’ Gerard demanded, and started working on Frank’s entrance with his fingers, until Frank was screaming, and then pushed inside him. ‘You like it?’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Frank managed to say, pushing himself against Gerard’s cock.</p><p>Frank was coming in no time. Maybe the age, maybe not doing it in so long. But Gerard was almost there. ‘Can I suck you?’ Frank asked, asking for permission.</p><p>Gerard nodded, and quickly pushed Frank on his knees, grabbing him by the hair, as he leaned down to his member.</p><p>With a few licks here and there, plus the sucking of the tip, showing his talent, Gerard came in Frank’s mouth.</p><p>Gerard lay on Frank’s belly, his hands rubbing it, fascinated by the view.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Holy Chicken</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Welcome to the House of Chicken, this is Gerard, how can I help you?’ he said through the headset. ‘Sure, an eight-nugget meal with a medium Coke and buffalo sauce? It’s going to be 8.77 at the window.’</p><p>It was only nine in the morning, and Gerard was ready to throw himself off the second floor. He hated his coworkers, each and every single customer, his job and everyone else. But if he wanted to move out of his parents’ house, he needed the job. So he faked a smile to the lady at the window, and continued stocking cup holders.</p><p>‘Hey, Gerard!’ Brian, his manager called him. When he turned around, he saw Brian with another kid. He looked straight out of high school. ‘This is Frank, it’s his first day. I need you to show him around, and train him on headset, okay?’</p><p>‘Okay.’ Great! Now he had to train the new kid. ‘C’mon, then,’ he said to Frank, with the excitement of a little kid going to school. ‘This is the drive through area, this is front counter.’ They walked back to the kitchen, and he showed him where they kept everything, and the walk-in cooler, freezer and break room.</p><p>He gave Frank a headset, and told him what he had to say. ‘Just remember to ask for sauces, and you know, be nice and all.’</p><p>‘Wow, you sound too excited to be here,’ Frank said. He seemed nice, but Gerard didn’t like people. So – no.</p><p>‘Is it that obvious?’</p><p>Frank just laughed.</p><p>‘I’m just here for the money, okay?’</p><p>‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.’</p><p>So after going through the menu, and Frank listening to Gerard taking a few orders, he did it himself. ‘You learned fast, cool,’ Gerard said, giving him the thumbs up.</p><p>‘I’ve worked fast food before. It’s not that different.’</p><p>Gerard knew a normal person would ask where had he worked before, but he was not normal, and he wasn’t interested in making friends, even if they had a cute smile and the prettiest eyes.</p><p>It was for the best, Gerard knew. He had gotten his heart broken too many times before when they rejected him. He was not doing it again, not for a guy who looked straight as fuck.</p><p>But throughout the day, as Gerard was taking orders or bagging food, Frank was always next to him, trying to make him laugh or asking him if he was doing things right. Frank was having full on conversations with the kitchen crew in Spanish. ‘<em>Unas papas grandes, por favor,’ </em>he said, and when Gerard gave him a surprised look, he just winked at him.</p><p>He would laugh at Gerard’s dumb jokes, and would smile at him.</p><p>No, he was just imagining things.</p><p>At the end of the shift, Frank waited for Gerard just to thank him for helping him. ‘See you tomorrow, right?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>No, Gerard did not like Frank.</p><p>Except in the next couple days, he found himself laughing at Frank’s jokes, and noticed he would always stand too close to where he was.</p><p>‘Why are you always so serious, dude?’ Frank asked. ‘I’ve seen you laugh, and you say some pretty funny stuff. And you’re the only person here who’s not obsessed about Jesus.’</p><p>‘You don’t even know me.’ Gerard tried to keep a serious face, not show that he was just insecure, and totally not cool.</p><p>‘I know, but still. You’re more interesting than them.’</p><p><em>Don’t get too excited, </em>Gerard reminded himself. <em>He means it as friends.</em></p><p>But he appreciated Frank being nice to him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>One day, as he drove out of the parking lot, he saw Frank leaving on his bike.</p><p>It was freezing, and the boy was wearing a thin hoodie and riding a bike home. He wanted to stop him and tell him he’d give him a ride, but he didn’t dare to just say it.</p><p>It took him another week to have the guts, and as Frank was getting on his bike, Gerard called him. ‘You need a ride?’</p><p>‘I’m fine,’ he said.</p><p>‘It’s fucking freezing.’</p><p>‘Fine.’ Fortunately, his bike could fit in the trunk, and he got in the passenger’s seat.</p><p>‘Where do you live?’</p><p>‘103<sup>rd</sup>. Across the street from the community college.’</p><p>‘Oh.’ It wasn’t that far, but still riding a bike, it was a lot. ‘And you ride a bike to work every day?’</p><p>‘What else I’m going to do? I need to work.’</p><p>‘True.’ He realized how lucky he was getting his dad’s old car without having to pay a cent. Not everyone had the same luck.</p><p>‘Hopefully another paycheck, and I’ll be able to get a car. Just a cheap one.’ There was a long silence. ‘And sometimes my roommate gives me a ride.’ Frank didn’t want Gerard to feel bad for him. So he kept his tragic story to himself.</p><p>Instead, he started to ask questions. ‘How long have you worked there?’</p><p>‘Five years.’</p><p>‘Oh you must like it.’</p><p>‘I hate it.’</p><p>To avoid the awkwardness, Gerard played some music. The Misfits started playing, and Gerard noticed Frank liked them too. Maybe they did have some things in common.</p><p>When they got to Frank’s apartment complex, he thanked Gerard.</p><p>‘No problem, man. If you need a ride, just tell me. We have pretty much the same schedule. While you get your car.’</p><p>‘Are you sure?’</p><p>‘Yeah, I don’t mind it.’ Frank nodded. ‘So tomorrow, at 6:45?’</p><p>‘Sounds good.’</p><p>And so Gerard started picking him up every morning, and then taking him home after work for the next couple weeks. In that time, he found out Frank was in college, and he was twenty, not eighteen like he had thought, and that he had another job in the afternoon, and that was why he was always so tired. ‘It’s at the café around the corner from the apartment, so I don’t have to drive.’ And that was why he always had donuts for Gerard every morning.</p><p>Sometimes they would stop for coffee too. ‘I don’t have any money with me,’ Frank admitted, but Gerard just paid for his without even asking.</p><p>One time Gerard was just in the mood for burritos, so they stopped at Chipotle.</p><p>When they got to Frank’s place, he didn’t get out immediately. He just sat there, in silence for a while. ‘What happened?’ Gerard asked, confused.</p><p>‘Nothing, I just – I wanted to do something.’ Gerard was even more confused, and just then, Frank leaned in closer, and kissed him.</p><p>A million things were going through Gerard’s mind, first one being, HOLY FUCK! FRANK IS KISSING ME!</p><p>
  <em>It feels so good.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Frank? He was right after all?</em>
</p><p>And even though it was stupid, he couldn’t ignore the irony of them in their uniforms of a restaurant chain that was known for being anti gay people.</p><p>He didn’t know what to do, and yet reciprocated the kiss.</p><p>When they pulled apart, they looked at each other with a grin. ‘I tried to make it obvious that I liked you,’ Frank said. ‘But you didn’t notice, or you ignored it.’</p><p>‘I like you too, but I thought –’</p><p>‘What? That I liked girls?’</p><p>Gerard nodded.</p><p>‘Well, I don’t.’</p><p>He leaned closer, but Gerard stopped him. ‘You know they don’t like people like us, right?’</p><p>‘That just makes this even better,’ and he kissed him again.</p><p>They started dating the day after, keeping it secret from their bosses, sneaking kisses in the walk-in fridge or after their sift. Frank bought his car from a friend, but he still let Gerard give him a ride so they could spend time together. Gerard still pretended to hate him in front of people.</p><p>Who would have thought they’d meet there, Gerard thought. But he was glad they did.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. The Intern</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Skeleton Crew Records, how can I help you?’ Gerard said for the twentieth time that day as he answered the phone. <em>For fuck’s sake, it’s 2020, send emails or DMs like a normal person! Why are you using your phone to make a call? </em>he thought. ‘Yeah, of course he’ll be there. Thanks for letting us know.’</p><p>‘GERARD! I NEED MY COFFEE!’ his boss yelled from his office, so as soon as he hung up, he ran to the cafeteria downstairs, and make him his vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso, and ran back to Mr. Iero’s office. ‘WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!’</p><p>‘I’m so sorry, sir,’ Gerard said, handing him the coffee. ‘I was taking a call.’</p><p>‘And why do I care?’</p><p><em>Because that’s my job. ‘</em>I apologized,’ he said walking towards the door. ‘Oh, by the way, your ex-wife called to tell you she wants you at your daughter’s recital tomorrow.’</p><p>‘Shit, I forgot.’</p><p>‘I told her you’d be there.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p>And then, Gerard was back in his desk taking more calls, and arranging his boss’ schedule.</p><p>When he became an intern at Skeleton Crew, he thought he’d be going to a lot of shows or meet famous people. But being the boss’ unpaid assistant just meant calls with his ex-wife, submitting his poetry to the magazine pretending it was anonymous, and bringing him coffee.</p><p>Not to mention the fact that Mr. Iero was an asshole, and he liked to make his life a complete shithole. Like the time Gerard asked for a day off to visit his mom at the hospital, and Mr. Iero refused. ‘How do you expect to be promoted to a paying position with that attitude?’ he told him. Or how he made him pick up his kids sometimes, or take the dogs for a walk when he was on vacation, or take his food from the fridge and eat it or call him useless when he didn’t put enough sugar on his coffee.</p><p>‘I don’t know how you put up with him,’ his brother told him.</p><p>‘Me neither.’ Maybe he was still hoping he’d be promoted, or at least get a chance to go to concerts for free. But he knew Mr. Iero would rather have him as an unpaid assistant, and that he’d rather replace him with someone else, than start paying him.</p><p>‘Gerard!’ he heard his boss say, and ran to check what he needed. ‘Is my suit ready? I need to leave in thirty minutes.’</p><p>‘Yeah, I can go get it.’</p><p>‘Oh and I need you to pick up Miles from his soccer practice, and take him to Jamia’s. You’ll get the rest of the day off.’</p><p><em>Wow, what a nice offer. ‘</em>Thanks, sir.’ At least Jamia lived in the same neighborhood as him.</p><p>And he needed some sleep.</p><p>So he did as he was told, picked Miles up, and drove him to his mom’s house. He seemed happy to see Gerard, though. ‘Your dad said he’ll buy you ice cream next time, buddy.’ He hated to lie to the kid, but he didn’t want to see him sad.</p><p>Once he made it home, he took off his pants and changed into a t-shirt, and turned on the TV, but fell asleep before deciding on what movie to watch.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>His phone started ringing halfway through the night, waking him up.</p><p>It was just past midnight.</p><p>‘Hello,’ he said, without even checking who it was.</p><p>‘Gerard!’ a voice said on the other side. His boss. Though he sounded very different than usual. He was – cheerful and excited?</p><p>‘Yeah?’ Gerard replied, more confused than ever. He thought he had the day off, and it was too late. What did he want?</p><p>‘My boy! This party sucks! I can’t believe you were right about that band!’</p><p><em>What? </em>He heard him when he said that band sucked? But why the fuck was he calling him his boy? Or talking to him like they were friends? ‘Really?’ he said, not sure what else to say.</p><p>‘Yeah! Please come and pick me up!’</p><p>But – he was supposed to have the night off! And it’s not like he was his mom! ‘But –’</p><p>‘Please! I’m so drunk!’</p><p>Now it made more sense. But didn’t he know there were these things called uber and he could just get one to take him home? ‘I can send you an uber.’</p><p>‘No, you come pick me up.’</p><p><em>You’re not paying me enough, </em>Gerard thought. <em>In fact, you’re not paying me anything.</em></p><p>Mr. Iero continued. ‘You’re more fun.’</p><p>
  <em>WTF? Since when am I fun? He doesn’t even like me!</em>
</p><p>‘I’ll give you tomorrow off.’</p><p>He knew that wouldn’t happen. He’d call for some stupid reason or make him do groceries. Gerard really needed to get another job. ‘Fine.’</p><p>He drove to a tiny venue in New York, hating himself for saying yes. He found his boss talking to a few other men in the lobby, drinking more and laughing. He had never seen him laugh, and yeah, he was cute as fuck, but he had to remind himself he was an asshole and he had made him drive all the way to New York on his night off, unpaid. ‘Mr. Iero,’ he called him, and he turned around immediately, a smile on his face.</p><p>He had never smiled at Gerard. He was usually mad or annoyed at him. and even more surprising was when he walked up to him and hugged him, as if they were long-time friends. ‘Gerard!’</p><p>
  <em>Don’t think about how hot he looks in that suit, don’t think about how hot he looks in that suit – </em>
</p><p>‘I thought you said you weren’t having fun, Mr. Iero.’</p><p>‘Please call me Frank.’</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>‘Nah – it’s your night off. I’m not your boss tonight.’ <em>And yet, here I am, doing what you want.</em> Just Frank.’</p><p>‘Okay.’</p><p>‘Have a drink with me.’</p><p>‘I really shouldn’t. I’m supposed to take you home.’</p><p>‘Party pooper! You’re not fun.’</p><p>‘I never said I was.’ He put his arm around Frank, helping him to the door. ‘C’mon.’</p><p>‘Maybe you can come to the next release party,’ Frank mumbled as he got him in the car. ‘That way I won’t get bored.’</p><p>Now he was delusional. It wasn’t like they ever talked to each other.</p><p>Frank started telling him about the fiasco the party had been, and everything that went wrong, and how he just wanted to start a label to release music by his friends, and now it had gotten too big, and his wife wasn’t there anymore, and he hated everything now, and he wanted to go back to playing music himself, and then just fell asleep in the backseat, which Gerard was thankful for because it was already going to be a long drive home.</p><p>They pulled outside Frank’s house, and Gerard helped him with the door. He thought about taking him upstairs, but again, he wasn’t paid enough.</p><p>And just then, Frank pushed him against the walk and kissed him without any warning.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>No.</p><p>His boss’ lips were warm against him, the smell of alcohol filling him, his taste intoxicating him.</p><p>He knew it was wrong.</p><p>But it felt so good.</p><p>No, he was just drunk and lonely. It didn’t mean anything.</p><p>It could be considered harassment, if he thought about it.  </p><p>He had to stop it before he started liking it. So he pulled apart.</p><p>‘Shit!’ Frank said as soon as he realized what he did. ‘I’m so sorry! This shouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry.’ He paced around, all freaked out. ‘Please don’t tell anyone, I don’t want to get in trouble.’</p><p>‘I won’t.’</p><p>‘You’re not going to quit, right?’ He sounded almost sad. ‘I swear I’m sorry. I don’t want you to go. Though I understand if you do.’</p><p>Fuck, now Gerard felt obliged to stay. He almost felt pity for the guy. ‘I won’t.’</p><p>‘Then, see you tomorrow, I guess.’ Frank sat on his couch, hiding his face behind his hands.</p><p>‘You gave me the day off.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah. I’m sorry.’</p><p>Gerard headed to the door, wishing he could just disappear and never see him again. ‘Maybe you should take the day off too.’</p><p>Frank nodded. ‘See you on Monday, then.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ And he got in his car, hoping he didn’t see his boner.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>On Monday, he tried to avoid Frank at all costs. After not sleeping because of his anxiety, he got up early and got him his favorite Starbucks drink, and left it on his desk before he got there. And it seemed like Frank was avoiding him too. He never called him to his office, or bothered him for any reason. It was awkward as fuck for both.</p><p>Gerard started considering getting a job as a cashier or whatever, after a few more days passed and nothing changed.</p><p>And then, Frank called him to his office.</p><p>He took a breath, afraid he was going to get fired, and walked in. ‘Yes, sir?’</p><p>‘Come in, and please lock the door behind you.’ <em>Shit. </em>Gerard sat in front of him, and waited for the new. ‘I just want to apologize for what I did. I know it was very inappropriate.’</p><p>‘It’s okay, sir.’ He couldn’t admit he had liked it too.</p><p>Then, Frank handed him an envelope. When Gerard opened it and found the check, he counted the zeros several times to make sure he was seeing right. He knew he was trying to shut his mouth. ‘I don’t need this. I won’t tell anyone, I told you.’</p><p>‘This isn’t a bribe. This is for the work you’ve done. I should have paid you a long time ago, I’m sorry.’</p><p>Wait – what? ‘But –’</p><p>‘Nothing. And you’re free to go if you want. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. It was wrong.’</p><p>‘Thank you,’ Gerard said after a while. ‘And it’s fine. I still won’t tell anyone.’</p><p>‘I appreciate it.’</p><p>Gerard started walking towards the door, but the only thing he could think about was Frank’s cologne, and how he really wanted Frank to kiss him again. So he turned around, and walked up to Frank, leaning in to kiss him.</p><p>Then Frank had him pinned to the wall, kissing the fuck out of him, tongues twisting around each other, their breaths on each other’s face. ‘You really want this?’ Frank asked. ‘Or you’re only doing it because I paid you?’</p><p>‘I’ve been thinking about it since you hired me.’</p><p>‘Nice. Because it was the same thing for me.’ He kissed him again.</p><p>The next morning, they kissed before starting to work, and then made out in Frank’s couch after their shift. And the next day too. And the next.</p><p>A week later, Frank offered him to take him home after work, and they made out in the car, just before Frank gave him a blowjob.</p><p>They both knew that everyone in the office knew what was happening, but Frank didn’t mention it. They started going home together, or to the movies or for dinner.</p><p>One day, he took Gerard to pick the kids up from their mom’s house and they went to Chuck E. Cheese’s. ‘Dad,’ Cherry asked. ‘Why is Gerard coming with us? He only picks us up when you’re busy.’</p><p>‘Well, he’s daddy’s boyfriend now, so he’s coming with us.’</p><p>The kids cheered, and Frank and Gerard held hands before driving off.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Punk Rock Princess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘One, two, three, four!’ the drummer said, and then Frank played the riff before the rest came in, and he began singing.</p><p>
  <em>I think of running away,<br/>I can't keep running away.<br/>Can't keep feeling the same.<br/>I can't keep taking the blame.<br/>I wanna run with you.<br/>I don't care what we do,<br/>Gotta get out of this place,<br/>Because it feels like yesterday.</em>
  
</p><p>They’d been practicing for hours, and kept messing up, but Frank had got them a gig with one of his friends in two weeks, so they had to get the songs right.</p><p>When their practice was over, Frank’s mom had dinner ready, and told them to come in. Then, they went back to the garage to go over the new song they had written, and drink beers.</p><p>It was the perfect way to end his week. Between college and his job at the pizza shop, he barely had time to practice and hang out with his friends, but it was worth it.</p><p>And it helped him forget about his ex breaking up with him.</p><p>Maybe he should take a break from relationships. Yeah. He just needed some time to chill and have fun with his friends.</p><p>Sometimes the kid next door, Mikey, would join them, just to hang out. he was a part of the gang by now, and even though he didn’t play any instruments, he always hung out with them and went to all the shows and parties they went to. He was that cool.</p><p>Frank remembered playing with him and his older brother Gerard when they were kids. Then they grew up, and Gerard stopped hanging out with them. He barely saw him anymore. Mikey said he was in college, though he still lived at home, but he never saw him.</p><p>Then, one day, halfway through practice, Mikey came in the garage. And he wasn’t alone.</p><p>Gerard was with him.</p><p>Gerard.</p><p>He looked – different.</p><p>Yeah, Frank hadn’t seen him in over ten years, so obviously he looked different. He was a grown man now.</p><p>And he was wearing a dress.</p><p>A fucking black summer dress that got above his knees, with a plaid shirt tied around his waist. His hair was long now, and he was wearing red eyeshadow –</p><p>And fuck, was he attractive.</p><p>Though, why would Frank be thinking about that. No –</p><p>Yet, he missed his cue and played the wrong chord because he couldn’t stop looking at Gerard.</p><p>‘Are you okay, Frankie?’  Mikey asked, laughing a little at his reaction.</p><p>‘Yeah, I just – my fingers are sore. I need a break.’ He played dumb and put his guitar aside, while the rest of the guys went to get beers. Then, he turned to Gerard. ‘It’s been a while!’</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Gerard said with a shy smile.</p><p>‘You look –’ <em>Don’t embarrass yourself, Frank, </em>he said to himself. ‘All grown up.’</p><p>Gerard laughed. What a fucking adorable giggle he had? ‘I hope so. I mean, I think I am.’</p><p>‘And you look – great.’ <em>Fuck, </em>he just hoped he didn’t offend him. But he just had to say it.</p><p>‘Thanks.’</p><p>There was a long silence before Frank kept asking more questions. ‘Mikey said you were in college. Art school, right?’</p><p>‘Yeah. Just graduated.’ They both nodded. ‘And you have a band, I see?’ Frank smiled. ‘Actually, I’ve heard you guys practice. You’re good.’</p><p>Frank blushed. He wasn’t sure what was happening. Why he was so nervous and mushy around Gerard? He was never like this. ‘You want a beer?’ Gerard nodded and they sat to talk.</p><p>Frank told him about the gig coming up, and that their friend Alex offered to record an album for them. Gerard told him about art school, and his classes and the cool kids he hung out with. And Frank couldn’t stop looking at him as if he was the most beautiful thing in the world. He laughed at all his jokes.</p><p>He kept coming to see them practice over the next couple days. Sometimes he’d wear tights and band shirts, other days skirts. And every day, he’d sit in that nasty couch and watch Frank play. Frank thought that maybe it was because they were childhood friends, and growing up together that he felt this connection with him, but he knew it was something more.</p><p>They would talk endlessly about music, about not fitting in, and Gerard mentioned he didn’t know what to do with his life now that he was done with school, that he wanted to be a comic book artist. And Frank told him about the books he had read and about hating life.</p><p>One day Sean was talking about using makeup onstage, and they all started to talk about wearing makeup. It turned out they all had tried it at least once. Gerard mentioned the first time he wore lipstick, after his girlfriend dumped him when he was sixteen. He was so descriptive that Frank couldn’t <em>not </em>imagine him wearing lipstick, a Rocky Horror vibe to him.</p><p>And obviously, he was getting hard now.</p><p>He crossed his leg, trying to hide the bulge in his pants, but his nervousness was kinda giving him away. ‘Wow,’ he said, pretending he was fine.</p><p>He liked Gerard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank wasn’t sure if he should make a move and ruin a lifelong friendship. Gerard probably didn’t like him back.</p><p>But they were sitting together in the couch, like they had been for hours. Gerard was wearing a black skirt and an Iron Maiden sleeveless shirt, and Frank couldn’t stop looking at his legs. They had been drinking and giggling. Somehow in the middle of a conversation about aliens, Gerard’s hand landed on top of Frank’s. He started breathing fast, thinking he was imagining it.</p><p>But no.</p><p>It didn’t move.</p><p>It had been five minutes and it was still there.</p><p>Frank looked at Gerard, and he could see him smirking.</p><p>His breathing got even faster when Gerard took his hand and locked their fingers together. Just like that.</p><p>They kept drinking and joking, not letting go of each other’s hand, and everyone started to leave, including Mikey.</p><p>Then it was just them.</p><p>They didn’t say a word for the longest time, but they couldn’t stop smiling.</p><p>Frank kissed the back of Gerard’s hand, a new feeling invading his insides. Then, he leaned in, closer and closer, feeling his friend’s breath in his mouth, his eyes on him, and went for it. Their lips touched, and it was magic. Frank’s tongue licked Gerard’s lower lip, and then slipped in.</p><p>He was warm and smell like cherry lotion.</p><p>His hands felt like heaven when they sneaked under Frank’s shirt, and he was getting hard again.</p><p>Yeah, it felt right.</p><p>Frank sat in his lap, cupping his head between his hands and deepening the kiss.</p><p>When he felt Gerard’s erection under his skirt, his entire body felt like burning up. His hand started to go up his thighs, his fingers slipping in his lacy panties, when he heard his mom’s voice. ‘Frankie! It’s getting late! Turned down the music!’</p><p>‘Fuck,’ he said under his breath. ‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed. ‘We can continue some other day.’</p><p>‘I’d like that.’ Frank kissed him again. ‘I like you.’</p><p>‘I like you too.’</p><p>They stared at each other, so many things to say, but nothing was enough. They just kissed again, and Frank got up to let Gerard go. ‘You’re coming to our show tomorrow?’ Frank asked.</p><p>Gerard nodded. ‘Maybe we can hang out after that?’</p><p>‘I can’t wait.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Their gig was great.</p><p>Not a lot of people went to see them, but they still gave their all.</p><p>And Gerard was there, first row.</p><p>Frank sang to him the whole time, the butterflies in his stomach going mad.</p><p>When the show was over, they all went back to Frank’s garage to drink and hang out. They all left again, and it was Frank and Gerard again. Making out in the couch. Frank slipped his hands under his yellow dress, caressing his thighs, and kissing his collarbone. He took his member and started stroking it. They were both gasping, pushing their bodies against each other. Frank felt he was so hot he was going to explode and he couldn’t control himself. He went down and put his mouth around Gerard, licking from the tip to the base. He had never given a blowjob, but he tried to do everything he liked done, and had Gerard coming in his throat soon after.</p><p>Gerard’s heat was driving him crazy, and the cum in his mouth was doing something to him. He just wanted more. He leaned closer to Gerard and bit his jaw. ‘Fuck me, princess.’</p><p>That sent Gerard over the edge, and now he was on top of Frank, taking off his pants. With Gerard’s fingers inside him, he felt like he had never felt before. At least until he pushed his dick inside, and Frank realized that was it.</p><p>That was where he belonged.</p><p>He didn’t want to go anywhere else ever again.</p><p>He was madly in love with his punk rock princess.</p>
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<a name="section0042"><h2>42. Boyfriends in Pajamas</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For Mikey’s birthday, he only wanted pizza and movies.</p><p>But his girlfriend Kristin had a different idea in mind when she showed up to celebrate with him. She showed up wearing a racoon onesie. ‘What the hell?’ he asked.</p><p>‘We’re having a sleepover!’ she said excited. She also brought cake, and a plastic bag from target.</p><p>‘What is that?’ Mikey asked.</p><p>‘Oh I got you one!’</p><p>It was an unicorn one, and Mikey didn’t look pleased. ‘You know I don’t like unicorns, right, babe?’</p><p>‘But you’ll look so cute!’</p><p>‘Is there more in the bag?’</p><p>Kristin nodded. ‘I got a couple for your brother and your roommate.’</p><p>‘But I thought it was just you and me tonight!’</p><p>‘But it’ll be more fun! It’s not like you have a lot of friends anyway. And I ordered a lot of pizza, and we can play monopoly or something.’</p><p>Mikey just gave her <em>the look</em> and walked away. As much as he didn’t like the idea, he didn’t want to break her heart and say no to her, so he went to his room and put on the unicorn onesie.</p><p>Not long after, Gerard showed up. ‘I’m sorry. I had to stay at work a couple extra hours to finish the project, and then missed the train.’ He started taking off his scarf and put his stuff aside, not even noticing his brother and Kristin were trying to watch a movie. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you wanted to hang out, I would have asked for a day off.’ Then he saw Mikey with the unicorn onesie and started laughing manically.</p><p>The younger brother quickly got up and took Gerard to the kitchen so his girlfriend couldn’t hear him. ‘Don’t laugh. There’s one for you, too.’</p><p>‘Hell, no!’</p><p>‘If I have to wear this, you’ll have to wear one too.’</p><p>‘Except I don’t,’ Gerard reminded him. ‘I don’t have a girlfriend who’s making me. I can just leave.’</p><p>Mikey gave him a look and started to walk away. Just then, the front door opened, and Mikey’s roommate came in. ‘Oh, hey Frank! Nice to see you’re back.’</p><p><em>Shit.</em> Gerard started to panic. He needed to hide, run away. But that would make it obvious that he had a crush on his brother’s roommate.</p><p>‘Yeah –,’ Frank said, laughing at his friend’s outfit, and then noticed Gerard standing nearby. ‘Hi!’</p><p><em>He was so fucking hot, </em>Gerard thought. But he had a boyfriend. And it wasn’t like he had a chance anyway. ‘Hi!’</p><p>Mikey interrupted their moment, though. ‘So – Kristin thought it’d be fun to celebrate my birthday with a sleepover, and I can’t say no to her.’</p><p>Frank laughed. ‘You’re so whipped, man.’</p><p>‘I’m not. And you’re in it, too. She got you both PJs, and we’re watching <em>Nightmare in Elm Street, </em>and we’re having a sleepover, because it’s my birthday and we’re doing what I want.’</p><p>‘But I’m not a thirteen year old girl!’</p><p>‘Neither am I!’ Gerard protested.</p><p>‘I don’t care!’ Mikey said, and then turned to Frank. ‘Besides I pretended to be your boyfriend the other day to make Bob jealous, so you owe me.’</p><p>‘But it didn’t work, did it?’</p><p>‘I don’t give a fuck. I didn’t want to hold your hand. Now put on the damn onesie and get to the living room before we start the movie.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Neither of them had a choice, so they changed into their assigned PJs.</p><p>Frank’s was a green dinosaur, a little too big for him, but he was too small after all. But it was comfy and it kept him warm. So he was keeping it.</p><p>Gerard came out of the bathroom with a huge skeleton onesie and an annoyed expression. ‘You are so paying for this, Mikeyway!’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help laughing. He did look adorable.</p><p>‘Shut up and get your ass on the couch.’ The movie started and they all got pizza. Frank had watched it so many times, he was repeating back the lines, and Gerard laughed every time. They both kept joking the whole time, trying to ignore Mikey and Kristin making out in the other couch. ‘They didn’t even last five minutes without being all over each other!’ Frank mentioned, almost a little jealous. ‘Thanks for reminding me that I don’t have someone to make out with!’</p><p>‘Wait – I thought Bob –’ Gerard mentioned, confused.</p><p>‘No, we broke up.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s for the best, I guess.’ But he did look sad. They didn’t say anything else until the movie was over, and then Kristin served cake for them, and they played Monopoly. Except they all got bored soon, and started telling ghost stories instead, while Mikey painted Kristin’s nails. Without saying a word, Frank grabbed the black nail polish and gave it to Gerard, and then placed both his hands in front of him.</p><p>Gerard didn’t want to make the moment more uncomfortable by asking a dumb question, so he just started doing Frank’s nails.</p><p>After setting up a blanket and a bunch of pillows on the living room floor, they put <em>Child’s Play, </em>and sat to watch another movie.</p><p>Mikey and Kristin were in their own little bubble. Frank and Gerard sat on the couch, paying attention to the TV, and Frank noticed Gerard was actually scared.</p><p>And he was. Gerard wanted to leave the room. There was a reason he didn’t watch horror movies. But then he felt Frank’s hand on his.</p><p>He thought it was a mistake, that he probably was reaching for the remote or a bag of Skittles, and it landed on his hand instead. But when he looked at it, it was still there. And Frank was smiling at him. And Gerard felt like his heart was going to explode at any minute. That couldn’t be happening to him.</p><p>Yet, Frank kept his hand there for a while, seeing as Gerard was not trying to get away, he took that as a yes, and he locked their fingers together. When the black haired man squeezed his hand tight, he knew that he wanted it too.</p><p>They kept watching the movie, not letting go, sharing little smiles here and there. When they noticed the other two were sleeping in their makeshift bed, they both leaned closer to the other at the same time, and pressed their lips together, almost like they were waiting for that moment. Frank ran his fingers through his hair, holding tight so he never let go.</p><p>He pushed Gerard forward, and kept kissing him, pulling on his lower lip, licking his neck. He’d do more, but they had to take off the onesies, and it was so much work, and maybe it was for the best. He could just enjoy the moment.</p><p>He actually liked Gerard, and he didn’t want to turn it into a one night stand.</p><p>So they kept kissing until they were too tired, and Frank fell asleep on top of Gerard.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>When they woke up, Mikey and Kristin weren’t there.</p><p>Gerard checked his watch. It was nine thirty.</p><p>Frank sat up, his eyes still closed, not even trying to question how they ended up waking up together.</p><p>‘I’ll start the coffee,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘Don’t bother. We don’t have any. Let’s go to the diner.’</p><p>Gerard just shrugged, and walked to the bathroom to change, before Frank stopped. ‘Wait – you look so cute in that,’ he said and then kissed him. ‘Okay, now you can change.’</p><p>They walked to the diner around the corner, holding hands as if it was the most natural thing and they’d been dating forever. Frank was smoking the whole way there, unable to keep his eyes of his roommate’s brother. ‘Are we gonna tell Mikey?’</p><p>‘I think he found out already.’</p><p>‘Okay.’</p><p>After breakfast, Gerard had to go home, and Frank had to go to work. ‘You wanna hang out later tonight?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘It’d be nice.’</p>
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<a name="section0043"><h2>43. Sleepover</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*part two of Boyfriends in Pajamas*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Over the past week, Frank and Gerard had been hanging out every chance they got. Gerard’s office was only a couple blocks away from Mikey and Frank’s apartment, So that was the best excuse to have lunch together before had to leave for work. Then, after his shift, they’d go to the movies, or make out in the backseat of Frank’s beat up car.</p><p>‘Ugh –,’ Frank cried on top of Gerard. ‘Why didn’t I ask you out back then we first met?’</p><p>‘You’re funny.’</p><p>‘Why? I had the biggest crush since day one! You were so intimidating!’</p><p>Gerard had to laugh out loud. ‘Me? Intimidating? That’s the first time someone says that. I’m like the shyest person ever!’</p><p>‘But you’re like so cool, going to art school, and writing comics, and you’re so smart.’</p><p>That made Gerard blush. ‘No one has ever said so many nice things to me.’</p><p>‘Well, then they’re blind, and stupid.’</p><p>‘You only say that because you like me.’</p><p>‘I do,’ Frank said, leaning closer. ‘I like you a lot.’ And then they’re lips were pressed against each other, tongues touching, and hands going under each other’s clothes. ‘Let’s go back to the apartment.’</p><p>‘But Mikey –’</p><p>‘Mikey’s working all night. He’s doing extra hours at the bar,’ Frank said between gasps. ‘By the time he’s back. We’d be asleep.’</p><p>Gerard considered it for a second. Guys usually never asked him to stay the night. He had never gotten that serious with someone. If it wasn’t for the two times he got wasted and slept with a random guy from art school at a party, he’d be a virgin. But it was Frank, and he still found it weird how it all started, and how natural it felt. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t spent the night at his brother’s apartment before.</p><p>Seeing the expression on his face, Frank kept insisting. ‘C’mon – what do you say about another sleepover, but just me and you and no onesies involved?’</p><p>‘Fine.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The apartment was dark and quiet as they walked in, and Gerard pushed Frank to the wall a second after, kissing him.</p><p>‘I have a room,’ Frank tried to say as the taller man attacked him with his lips and tongue. ‘With a bed. Over there. We should go.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t even take a second to pull him by the arm and drag him to the room in the back of the hallway, and started taking off his clothes as soon as the door closed behind them. Fuck, Frank was so beautiful. His inked skin and his hands and his eyes. And the way he made Gerard feel by just being in the same room with him. And now they were so close together, their bodies sweating against each other as Frank pushed him to the bed. Frank’s voice in his ear. ‘Fuck me,’ he said, and Gerard’s insides melted. He had never – the only two times he’d had sex, it was the other guy fucking <em>him</em>. He wouldn’t even know what to do. ‘Don’t worry,’ Frank said, noticing how terrified he looked. ‘I’ll teach you how.’ Frank lubed his fingers and slipped them in his hole, one by one, with all the care and love in the world, as his other hand stroked his member, and he left kisses in his thighs. He massaged his prostate, already sending him over the edge. Then, his member replaced his fingers. The way Frank looked at Gerard as he thrusted in and out, taking care of him and making sure he feels good, was all Gerard needed to come.</p><p>He had never felt as safe as he was in Frank’s arms.</p><p>They cuddled for a while, as they regained themselves, not saying a word. Frank put on a movie, but not even five minutes later, Gerard turned to him. ‘Can I try it?’ he asked.</p><p>Frank moved, and let Gerard do the same things he did on him. He was definitely a fast learner. Or maybe he just liked it because of how much he liked Gerard. He didn’t know. He just hung on to Gerard, digging his fingernails deep into his back as Gerard thrusted inside.</p><p>‘Best sleepover I’ve been to,’ Gerard said afterwards.  They were still coming down from their orgasms, all covered in cum and sweat.</p><p>Frank just laughed. ‘I told you.’</p><p>‘Just don’t tell Mikey that.’</p><p>They finished watching the movie until they eventually fell asleep, Gerard wrapping his arm around Frank.</p><p>Gerard woke up to the smell of coffee, and when he finally opened his eyes, Frank was there, holding two mugs, and offering him one. ‘Good morning, babes,’ he said.</p><p>‘Good morning.’ It was definitely the best way to wake up. ‘You finally bought coffee.’</p><p>‘I did. Just got paid a couple days ago, and I knew it was the only way to persuade you to stay the night, so it was the first thing I bought.’</p><p>‘You know me.’</p><p>There was a long silence while they sipped from their coffees, and then Frank finally said something. ‘So – are we like – boyfriends?’</p><p>Gerard blushed at the sound of the word. ‘I guess.’</p><p>‘I like that. Boyfriend.’ He then leaned in to kiss Gerard, his lips tasting like coffee, and that was definitely the best thing ever.</p>
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<a name="section0044"><h2>44. These Nights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>(based on We The Kings' new song)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Between the last days of touring with the Future Violents, and more interviews, Frank had barely time to think about what was coming. Which was good, because he had to keep it secret, and everyone knew he wasn’t the best at keeping secrets.</p><p>But the anxiety was killing him.</p><p>A reunion would mean he’d see Gerard every day for the foreseeable future, which of course, he wasn’t opposed to. But it wasn’t going to be easy.</p><p>Things weren’t what they used to.</p><p>And even though they remained friends, and they’d been seeing each other a lot for the past couple years with rehearsals and everything, it wasn’t the same. They’d be sleeping in close quarters, spending every minute of the day together, and Frank knew how weak he was around him. He wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation of being near Gerard and not having him.</p><p>He knew he had Jamia’s support. It wasn’t like it was the first time he did it, or that he was seeing someone else. And she knew there was nothing she could do about them. As much as Gerard had hurt Frank once – or more times –, she knew he’d never stop loving Gerard.</p><p>He tried to enjoy his birthday as much as he could, but the text Gerard sent him right after wishing him a happy birthday, just gave him more anxiety. <em>Here we go!</em></p><p>Frank wasn’t sure he was ready.</p><p>He loved the band more than anyone. He was still the number one fan, despite everything. And he was probably the most excited to play the songs with his best friends. But it was everything else he wasn’t ready for.</p><p>Soon, he had to leave for LA to start rehearsing, and he tried his best not to cry.</p><p>On his way to the place where he’d be staying, the chauffer drove by the apartment building where they lived while they recorded Revenge, and many other places where they all used to hang out, and it brought him memories. He couldn’t believe he was finally back in My Chemical Romance, his favorite band.</p><p>And for a moment, nothing else mattered.</p><p>His dream came true.</p><p>He remembered coming to LA, with not a penny to his name, staying in a small apartment with four other guys, about to record their first album with a major label. So many nights of them talking all night, writing songs, drinking, joking around, feeling like they could do anything. So many nights drinking with him, staying up in his room, smoking and talking about life. Naked and sweaty, their bodies pressed together. He remembered Gerard telling him one day they’d be so big, people would be singing their songs for years, and how that made him smile.</p><p>And here they were.</p><p>Back again.</p><p>And all he wanted was to be in Gerard’s arms again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p><br/>There were still a couple days before rehearsals started, but they were trying to plan ahead of time, make sure they had the equipment they needed, make sure everyone’s schedules would fit for the next month or so until the show.</p><p>And even though they had all been in the same room just months ago, before Frank’s tour started, there was some tension in the air.</p><p>They all thought it was because now it was for real. Everyone knew what they were doing, what they were all expecting. It was a lot, and it got bigger than they thought.</p><p>But Frank was sure Gerard was just as anxious because it meant more time together, and he couldn’t help wondering if it was for the same reason. But seeing as they were both avoiding each other as much as possible, he knew he was right.</p><p>It didn’t last much though.</p><p>When he came in on Friday, neither Ray or Mikey were there, and he found Gerard standing by the corner, holding a cigarette pack. ‘Everything okay? Where are the others?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘I told them not to come.’</p><p>
  <em>Shit. </em>
</p><p>Were they going to break up so soon?</p><p>They hadn’t even played the reunion show!</p><p>Not again.</p><p>‘Can we talk?’ Gerard asked, and Frank had no choice but to nod. He followed Gerard outside, and took a cigarette when he offered him. He was trying so hard not to cry. He knew it was coming, he should have prepared for this. It was too good to be true.</p><p>Gerard took a drag of his cigarette, and Frank could notice he was clearly anxious. Which could only mean bad news. After a long silence he finally turned to Frank, and said, ‘Did you know Lindsey wanted me to kick you out of the band for the reunion?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help laughing a little. It didn’t surprise him one bit. ‘It’s not even her band. Why would she have any say on it, huh?’ was all he could come up with.</p><p>‘You know why.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah? Why?’ Frank knew exactly why, but he wanted Gerard to say it, even though he knew he didn’t have the guts to do so.</p><p>‘Remember when we first talked about a reunion? It was at your show that day we went to see you.’ Frank nodded. He remembered that day clearly, as if it was yesterday. ‘After your – after the accident, I almost thought I’d lose you. Then you told me you wanted to get the band together and I fought it so much. I wasn’t ready. But that day, seeing you playing, after everything that happened, knowing that there was a chance we could get back together, not the band, but us.’</p><p>He did not expect that.</p><p>‘I knew I had to take that chance.’</p><p>Just then, he felt Gerard’s hand taking his, their fingers locking together, and everything felt right. It was as if everything, the accident, playing music again, getting the band together, it was all for this moment.</p><p>The chance of having Gerard back.</p><p>There was hope.</p><p>Even if they were just holding hands, smoking in an empty patio, it felt like the old days. He felt like that twenty-two year old Frank who was madly in love with his bandmate. He was young again, butterflies in his stomach, promises of a maybe making his heart beat faster.</p><p>Soon, Gerard brought out a blunt, and they shared it, reminiscing about their days at the Paramour mansion, and crazy fan stories. They both giggled remembering their days at Warped Tour, and the day Bob found them in the bus bathroom.</p><p>‘I just wanna say,’ Frank started. ‘My best days were with you.’</p><p>‘And you know mine were with you.’ They didn’t say anything for a while, and Frank could swear he saw tears forming in the singer’s eyes. And he didn’t know if it was the fact he was stoned as fuck, or the adrenaline of the moment, but he turned to Gerard, and kissed him, slipping his tongue in.</p><p>He was surprised when Gerard didn’t push him away, and just kissed him back.</p><p>He tasted amazing, just like he remembered. Everything was melting inside him, and he couldn’t believe for the life of him it was actually happening. It had to be a dream. But no. He was in fact kissing Gerard.</p><p>Soon, they moved inside, locking themselves in the bathroom, and Frank was almost laughing at how much it felt like the old days. Gerard taking off his clothes, kissing his neck, pushing him against the wall.</p><p>Putting his clothes back on, he felt like that time they hooked up at a party. He was still in Pencey Prep, and there was no My Chemical Romance. He knew he was in love back then. He still was. ‘So this means we’re back?’</p><p>Gerard didn’t answer, but his smile was enough.</p>
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<a name="section0045"><h2>45. The Wayfinder</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There was once a man, living in a far away land.</p><p>He had a nice job as journalist for a very important newspaper in the city, and made a lot of money. He had an expensive apartment and all the luxuries he always dreamed of when he was a kid. And yet, he was not happy, for he had not found true love.</p><p>He had tried all his life, looked everywhere, but no one made him happy.</p><p>So he focused on his job more and more until that made him miserable too.</p><p>He was thinking about quitting and going back home, perhaps visit his folks for a while, start a band, when his boss called him to give him a new assignment. They wanted to build some kind of outlet mall near the Canada border, getting rid of miles and miles of forest in the process, and Frank was in charge of covering the whole thing.</p><p>He wasn’t so sure, but it wasn’t like he had anything else to do, and it meant getting paid a lot of money, so he packed his bags and got in his car. Maybe after this one, he could “retire” for a while and move back to New Jersey.</p><p>He had to drive for a couple hours to the border, and he rented a room at a bed and breakfast. He still had no idea what he was going to write. But he planned on driving to the forest the next day, and taking pictures, hoping he’d get inspired.</p><p>As planned, he took his camera and headed out, not without grabbing a bagel from the kitchen and eating it on his way there.</p><p>There was a tent and a backpack with all the essentials in the trunk, in case he had to stay the night, though he didn’t plan to.</p><p>When he made it, he set a spot in the middle of the woods, with a picnic chair, and his backpack, and wandered around taking pictures of everything. Tall trees that seemed to reach the sky. A river that ran across the woods. All the different kinds of plants he’d never seen before, and even a deer.</p><p>Even if he hated his job and how dumb this assignment was, he was enjoying nature, and his view.</p><p>It was a while since he felt the breeze hit his face, and he touched the surface of a tree. He walked through the woods, not photographing his surroundings, just admiring the view and enjoying his time outside.</p><p>Frank was a city boy. Having grown up in New Jersey, and now living in Manhattan, he loved the city life. He would never consider himself outdoorsy and hated going camping with friends. He loved the comfort of having A/C and heater and electricity and wi-fi too much to even go outside. But one day off wouldn’t hurt anyone.</p><p>He walked and walked, past the river, exploring the forest and everything it had too offer. He imagined himself as a character in The Lord of the Rings, his favorite book growing up.</p><p>At least it wasn’t too hot, but it looked like it was about to rain at any moment, so he had to go back to his car soon.</p><p>Except –</p><p>He didn’t know his way back.</p><p>He tried to remember which way he came from, but all the trees looked exactly the same and there wasn’t any particular landmark that showed him the way.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>He was lost.</p><p>After freaking out for a minute or two, and realizing his phone had no signal and was almost dead, he remembered he was wearing the necklace his grandfather had given him when he was young. It was a compass.</p><p>His grandfather called it the Wayfinder, and always told him a story about how it would lead him towards his path in life, and as a kid, Frank was fascinated by that story. But once he grew up he realized it was just a compass, and of course it would lead him towards his path because that was what they did.</p><p>It was the only thing he had left from his grandfather, though, so he kept it with him at all times. And he never thought there would come a time for him to use it.</p><p>He took it off, and though he had no idea where to go exactly. He knew the compass pointed north, but he knew his car and all his belongings were not up north.</p><p>And the more and more he walked, he more he got lost, and the more anxious he got.</p><p>Soon, it started raining and as much as he wanted to keep going, it was impossible to keep walking. His feet hurt, and the rain had made his clothes heavy, and he couldn’t keep going.</p><p>So he gave up.</p><p>He let his body fall on the grass and just give up.</p><p>He would just rest for a little bit.</p><p>Maybe someone would find him soon and help him.</p><p>Except there were no houses anywhere around, so his chances of being found were nonexistent. Maybe if he kept walking north he’d reach the border soon and he could ask the authorities for some help.</p><p>So he pulled up the hood of his jacket, his only protection from the rain, and kept walking, following the arrow in the compass.</p><p>It was starting to get dark, but the rain was finally over.</p><p>Frank didn’t know how long he’d been walking, and how much longer it’d be to get to the border.</p><p>But it seemed like he’d never get there.</p><p>Or maybe the compass was taking him somewhere else.</p><p>He didn’t know.</p><p>But when he was about to give up, he saw it.</p><p>In the distance, still far away, but he had no doubt.</p><p>It was a cottage, right in the middle of the woods.</p><p>It was surrounded by flowers of all kinds and it looked straight out of a fairy tale.</p><p>Was Frank already losing his mind and seeing things that weren’t there?</p><p>But the closer he got, the more real it got. And the arrow was pointing directly at it.</p><p>That’s weird, Frank thought. But at least, if someone lived in there, they could help him find his way back. And it seemed like there was someone living there.</p><p>He could see a light coming from inside, though it was dim, probably a lamp.</p><p>Frank walked up to the cottage, tired and hungry, hoping they could at least give him some food.</p><p>He was expecting an old witchy lady to live there.</p><p>But when the door opened, he saw another man in a robe. He had long brown hair and beard, along with some silver patches here and there. And he had the biggest green eyes. Frank forgot to breathe for a second.</p><p>‘Hi,’ the man said, confused.</p><p>‘Hi – I –’ But nothing came out from Frank’s mouth.</p><p>The man’s eyes were hypnotizing.</p><p>And he did look like a fucking wizard. Maybe he <em>was </em>hypnotizing him. ‘I’m lost,’ was all Frank could say after a while.</p><p>‘Oh – where were you going?’</p><p>‘I don’t know? Nowhere.’  Frank seemed to be having trouble with his words. What kind of spell was he under? ‘I was just wandering around, taking pictures. And then I couldn’t find my way back to my car.’</p><p>‘Oh.’ The stranger didn’t say much. He was too calm, giving Frank some weird kind of safety. ‘It’s raining,’ he said as if it wasn’t too obvious.</p><p>Frank nodded.<br/>‘You want to come in?’</p><p>The cottage was small and cozy, a single candle lighting the small space. On one side, there was a kitchenette, and on the other, a living area, which was mostly bookcases full of large tomes everywhere. Frank felt he was in one of those wizard stories his grandfather used to tell him as a child.</p><p>‘Thank you,’ he said, his voice shivering.</p><p>‘No problem.’ He pointed at the armchair by the corner, and Frank took a seat. ‘I was making tea. You want some?’ Frank nodded. ‘I’ll get you some dry clothes.’</p><p>He left the tea on the coffee table and walked into one of the rooms. When he came back, he handed Frank a pair of pants, along with a knitted sweater and socks. ‘They may be a little big for you but that’s all I have.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p>Frank went into a room to change, and saw a large cozy bed, and not much else. This guy really lives in another century, he thought to himself. He didn’t see any electronics or modern devices.</p><p>And all the clothes looked handmade.</p><p>Like the stranger told him, the pants were too big for him, but he used his own belt. And the sweater was warm, and reminded him of when his grandma knitted sweaters for him.</p><p>He walked back into the kitchen and found him cooking something. ‘Thank you,’ he said again. ‘I’m Frank, by the way.’</p><p>‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p><em>Gerard. </em>He even had a wizard name. Frank started to wonder if he stepped into a different dimension or what kind of shit was on the coffee he had earlier.</p><p>‘I’m making soup. You want some?’</p><p>They sat to have dinner, mostly in silence. Gerard was just used to it. And then, Frank asked, ‘So – you live all by yourself in the middle of the woods?’</p><p>Gerard nodded. ‘I like how peaceful it is.’</p><p>‘Isn’t it lonely?’</p><p>‘It was at first. But once I got used to it, there was no problem.’</p><p>‘So you didn’t always live here?’</p><p>‘No. My grandma left if for me. One day I just got too tired of everything, I needed a break. So I came here and never left.’</p><p>Frank thought about how he needed a break too, and how taking a break with this stranger would be the best thing ever. ‘So you’re not a wizard?’ he asked.</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘Where do you get that from?’</p><p>‘You just look like one, and this look straight out of story book, and I kinda feel like I’m dreaming right now.’</p><p>Gerard touched his forehead with the back of his hand. ‘You may have a fever.’</p><p>‘So you’re not real?’</p><p>‘Oh, sometimes I wonder whether I am or not.’ He started putting the plates away, and clean everything. ‘I think you need some rest. I’ll get you tea.’ Frank nodded, and went into the bedroom, as Gerard told him too.</p><p>There was only one room, and one bed, and he didn’t know how they’d do it. He didn’t want to take Gerard’s bed and make him sleep on the couch. But the bed was so fucking comfy, and as soon as he lay on it, his eyes started to close as soon as he got on the bed. He was supposed to wait for Gerard and the tea, but he just couldn’t.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he opened his eyes again, his entire body ached. It felt heavy.</p><p>And he saw Gerard sitting by his side.</p><p>Was he still delirious? Making up this perfect man who was taking care of him? ‘You’re awake.’</p><p>Frank tried to nod, but his body was too heavy.</p><p>‘How you feeling?’</p><p>‘Not good.’ Frank noticed he’d put a wet towel on his forehead.</p><p>‘I have some soup for you. And some painkillers.’</p><p>Frank giggled.</p><p>‘What’s so funny?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘Nothing. I just thought you were like this magical being living in the middle of the woods, and it turns out you’re just normal and you have painkillers.’</p><p>‘I have to take them too sometimes, for my headaches.’</p><p>Frank just stared at him, unable to understand how Gerard was so perfect and so real.</p><p>As Gerard helped him sit up, and helped him with the soup. ‘You just need to sleep it off. It was probably from getting soaked under the rain.’</p><p>Frank did as he was told, and as the day went by, he started to feel better. He heard Gerard singing in the living room, and that relaxed him.</p><p>He really needed the time off.</p><p>Later that night, he finally had the strength to get up from bed, and found Gerard reading in the armchair. ‘You’re up.’</p><p>Frank nodded and joined him in the couch. ‘I’m feeling better,’ he said. ‘Thanks for taking care of me.’</p><p>‘Of course.’</p><p>There was a long silence. ‘You have a nice place here,’ Frank finally said. ‘It does feel a lot better taking a day off from everything.’</p><p>‘It does.’</p><p>Gerard noticed Frank seemed to be cold, so he got a blanket and sat next to him and wrapped him in the blanket. Frank let himself be taken care of, and ley his head on the other man’s shoulder. It felt good. He felt safe. He wouldn’t mind this life. ‘Don’t you get lonely sometimes?’</p><p>Gerard took a second. ‘Sometimes.’</p><p>‘Me too.’ He knew the feeling. Even living in one of the biggest cities in the world, surrounded by people all the time, he still felt alone. And it was nice to have someone there for once. And he didn’t know if it was that, or what, but he turned to Gerard and kissed the corner of his mouth.</p><p>It was meant to be just a tender way to thank him for letting him in, but then Gerard reciprocated the kiss. It was as if both were in need of someone else so bad and now they’d found each other. Frank held him by the collar of his shirt, and pushed his tongue in, letting his warmth intoxicate him.</p><p>When their lips finally parted, they gasped for air, both of them smiling, but not letting go of each other. Gerard took Frank’s hand and locked their fingers, and they stayed like that, in silence, at least for a little while.</p><p>Then Frank asked him what he did there. Gerard told him mostly taking care of his garden.</p><p>‘So everything you eat is from your own garden?’</p><p>The long-haired man nodded. ‘It’s mostly veggie stuff. But I have chickens and when they die – you know.’</p><p>He told him he was a writer, and he went to the city once a month to talk to his agent and buy necessities.</p><p>Frank told him he was a journalist but he hated his job sometimes, and he needed a break.</p><p>He asked Gerard how he managed to live without electricity.</p><p>‘I do have electricity. I just don’t have wi-fi or a TV.’</p><p>Frank took a bath and went to bed. Gerard slept with him, insisting it was to take care of him.</p><p>The next morning he felt better, and they had coffee together. Gerard showed him his garden, and then they sat together to read, holding hands. Until Frank pushed himself against Gerard and kissed him again. They made out in the couch, losing their clothes one by one. Frank smiled because he had never felt like this with anyone.</p><p>Over the next few days there was a lot of the same, and every day Frank felt more at home, not wanting to go back to his expensive apartment or to his job. Gerard had already showed him the way out of the woods, and how to get to the main road, but Frank didn’t want to go back just yet.</p><p>Then one day, as he was cleaning the living room, he found Gerard’s wallet. It clashed with everything else in the room. It was like the one bit of normalcy Gerard had, and Frank couldn’t help feeling curious. He opened it and took a look at his ID. The picture in it showed him a bit younger. No beard, and he was wearing a black shirt. Frank wondered who he was before this life. And then he saw the name.</p><p>Gerard Way.</p><p>Way.</p><p>No fucking way. ‘You have to be kidding me,’ he said, not realizing he was talking out loud.</p><p>‘What?’ Gerard asked from the counter where he was writing on his typewriter.</p><p>‘Your last name is Way?’</p><p>‘Yeah, why?’</p><p>Frank was almost in tears, not sure if it was a coincidence or if it meant something. He walked up to Gerard and showed him his necklace.</p><p>‘A compass? What does that have to do with anything?’</p><p>‘My grandpa gave it to me when I was younger. He told me it was a Wayfinder, that it would lead me where I belonged. And it led me to you.’ He was almost crying, standing right in front of Gerard. ‘You’re my Way.’</p><p>The other man laughed at how cheesy he was, and kissed him, because that was too cute. ‘I’m glad.’</p><p>That night, Frank was sitting in the armchair, wearing one of the many sweaters Gerard had knitted for him, and drinking tea. He had lost the sense of time and he had no idea how long he’d been living there. Gerard got closer and sat on his lap. ‘Don’t you miss your old life?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Not really. I don’t.’</p><p>‘But don’t you want to go back and see your loved ones? I’m sure they miss you.’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I don’t think anybody misses me.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t like the sound of that, but again, he did the same thing once.</p><p>‘I think we need a dog,’ Frank said, and Gerard laughed because he really had never thought about that, but he was right.</p><p>And Frank was happy he had finally found his way.</p>
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<a name="section0046"><h2>46. Let's Go Back to the Middle of the Day That Starts It All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gerard lit another cigarette as he made it to the address that Mikey had given him. He was home for the weekend after starting to work in New York, and Mikey somehow convinced him to go out.</p><p>It was one of those house parties Mikey always got invited now that he was an intern at a local record label.</p><p>And Gerard wasn’t so excited about going, but he missed his little brother, so it was an excuse to see him and hang out.</p><p>But Gerard honestly thought it was going to be a small gathering at someone’s house. Not a house in the middle of nowhere, crowded as hell and music blasting so loud he could hear down the street.</p><p>And did he mention there would be this many people? It was a nightmare for a introvert like himself.</p><p>Outside, smoking and making out. Inside. Talking to each other, dancing, making out. He couldn’t even walk through the crowd to get a beer, and his anxiety was starting to act up, when he heard someone calling him.</p><p>‘Gee!’ And there he was. Mikey. Gerard didn’t imagine he’d miss his little brother so much, but he did. Up until a month before, they went everywhere together, attached by the hip. ‘You came!’ Mikey said.</p><p>Gerard nodded, not sure he wanted to be there. ‘Of course.’</p><p>‘The band’s about to start,’ Mikey interrupted, and then dragged him downstairs to the basement, where apparently they even had a concert. A band was setting up their guitars in the back of the room, and people were already gathering around them. ‘They’re really cool,’ Mikey said. They all seem younger, around Mikey’s age.</p><p>Soon, they started playing. It sounded very angry and rebellious. The singer was short but his energy was astronomical. And Gerard didn’t know what it was about him, even with his hair in dreads, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him.</p><p>The way he gave his all with each song, and how he seemed so deliver every single emotion in him as he played guitar. And he was cute too, Gerard thought taking a drag of his cigarette.</p><p>He wished he could be there one day, be the one singing in front of others, having his own band. And if he ever did, he wished he had half the energy that kid had.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>While you were fucking up<br/>
I went and found something new<br/>
Packed up all my shit<br/>
Stole back all my tapes<br/>
Left your spare key under the mat</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Mikey was too busy kissing a random girl, but Gerard didn’t mind.</p><p>He could only see the kid with the dreads.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Frank was a little drunk in the middle of the crowded party after their set. He wasn't paying attention to what Hambone and Shaun were saying. He was too focused rolling a joint.</p><p>He heard Mikey Way talking to them, so he looked up to say hi to Mikey Way. He was dope. 'Hey,' Frank said. He noticed the guy behind him, but he was too stoned to care now.</p><p>'Hey, Frankie. What's up? This is my brother Gerard,' He pointed to the guy behind him with the spikey hair. Oh. So he was Mikey's brother?</p><p>'Hey, Gerard.' Frank looked up at him with a smile, his eyes a little red. 'You look familiar.'</p><p>Gerard just laughed. </p><p>‘So you’re an artist, huh?’ Frank asked out of nowhere. He was glad he was too high to carwe because for some reason this guy was making him nervous.</p><p>‘Huh?’ He didn’t remember mentioning it in the last five minutes since they met.</p><p>‘Mikey always talks about his artist brother. He says you work in Cartoon Network?’</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help laughing. ‘In the copy center, yes.’</p><p>‘That’s lame.’</p><p>Gerard pretended to be offended, but laughed too. Jeez, did he have a crush on a guy again? And not just any guy, but Mikey’s cute, artist brother. He was hopeless.</p><p>When Gerard casually offered him a cigarette, Frank took it and put it in his lips. Gerard then lit it, breathing a little too close, and Frank just wish he didn’t see his hand shaking.</p><p>‘You guys are really good,’ Gerard mentioned.</p><p>‘Thank you,’ he answered, blushing.</p><p>‘I’m serious! Your energy up there was amazing.’ They talked for the longest time about college, The Misfits, and hating life, and aliens. Frank liked the way Gerard smiled to the side, and the fact he was an artist, and just the most interesting person he'd ever met, and he couldn't help wondering what it'd be like to kiss him. </p><p>Then, Gerard and Mikey were leaving, and Frank didn’t want to say goodbye so soon. ‘You better be there at the next Pencey show!’ he yelled as they were walking away. <em>Fuck, how embarrassing he could get? </em> </p><p>‘I might!’ Gerard yelled back.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>And Gerard kept his promise.</p><p>The following week, he was back in New Jersey, just to see Frank and his band. Of course he told Mikey it was to hang out with him, even though Mikey knew exactly why he was there.</p><p>This time they were playing a club, and there wasn’t as many people, but Frank still gave his all, and when he saw Gerard there, he smiled at him.</p><p>Was Gerard imagining it all, or did Frank got nervous around him too?</p><p>That night, they all went out to smoke outside, and Frank ranted about his college professors, and asked Gerard if it was all worth it once he finished his degree. ‘It depends,’ he replied. ‘What are you majoring in?’</p><p>‘Psychology.’</p><p>‘Do you want to do something related to psychology?’ Frank just shook his head. ‘Then it’s up to you. I don’t want to tell you what you should do. But I think you’ve already found your calling, and it’s up in that stage.’</p><p>Frank looked up at him with that adorable smirk on his face and he was lost.</p><p>Gerard felt his knees weaken and his heart beating faster than ever. He’d throw himself at him and kiss him but he wasn’t sure he liked dudes. He heard him talk about this girl Jamia, and he was sure they were dating.</p><p>There were a few more Pencey shows and house parties over the next couple weeks, and Gerard was there every time. ‘You like Frankie,’ Mikey said out of nowhere as they were heading out.</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to say. Though his face said it all. Mikey knew him too well. ‘No – why would you say that?’</p><p>‘I know you. You’re suddenly going to parties and every Eyeball event? Hmm, wonder why.’ He gave Gerard his judgy face.</p><p>‘I mean – he’s not even – there’s no way – forget it –’</p><p>Mikey didn’t say anything, and they left for the show. Pencey wasn’t even playing that night, but he was hoping Frank was there.</p><p>He couldn’t even hide his smile when he found him in the middle of the crowd, seeing Thursday play. ‘Hey,’ Gerard said, and noticed Frank smiled as soon as he saw him. They watched the show, standing a little too close together and sharing a cigarette, and Gerard felt Frank’s hand brushing against his.</p><p>When the set was over, Frank turned to him and asked him if he wanted to go outside for a cigarette, even though they’d been smoking this whole time. Gerard followed him nonetheless. They went out to the alley, and Gerard was already getting his pack out, when Frank pulled him by the shirt and then his lips were on his.</p><p>It was quick and their mouths were closed but everything inside Gerard was on fire.</p><p>Frank broke the kiss and looked up at him, looking for approval, a sign that he was feeling the same thing.</p><p>Gerard looked at him, his hazel eyes and his stupid hair.</p><p>But Gerard didn’t know how to express his feelings. He never had. Instead, he pushed him back to the wall, and kissed him again. This time, Frank opened his mouth and let him in. It was sloppy and with urgency. Their bodies pressed against each other.</p><p>‘I like you,’ Frank said, gasping, once they pulled apart.</p><p>Gerard leaned his forehead against his, smiling. ‘I like you too.’</p><p>Then Frank just hugged him, hiding his face in his neck and breathing him, and Gerard could swear he heard him crying. And he didn’t need to say why. He understood.</p><p>‘It’s okay, Frankie. I’m not telling anyone.’ That would mean that he’d have to come out too, so there was no chance of that happening anytime soon.</p><p>Frank didn’t reply, he just kept crying. ‘I like it here,’ he said after a while.</p><p>Gerard smiled.</p><p>‘I want us to be together,’ Frank said, still in Gerard’s arms. ‘I want to be with you. But I’m scared.’</p><p>‘Me too.’</p><p>‘And I hate that we can’t be together.’</p><p>‘Who says we can’t?’ Frank looked up with a smirk, tears drying on his cheeks. ‘We just need to do it when nobody’s looking.’ And then he kissed him again.</p><p>***</p><p>It wasn’t the first time Gerard was hiding a relationship.</p><p>He’d done it before.</p><p>Over the following weeks, he’d visit Frank at college, so neither their friends or Mikey or anyone they knew would find out. They’d go to the library, where Frank would write his essays while Gerard drew next to him. After that, they’d go up to his dorm, and make out.</p><p>During the weekends he’d go see Pencey Prep and sit with Frank and talk. They both ranted to each other about being depressed and joked about wanting to die, and they knew nobody else understood them, but they did. He mentioned then that Mikey and him were inspired by Pencey and wanted to start a band. ‘That’d be cool. You guys can use our rehearsal space whenever you need.’</p><p>‘Really?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ Frank wouldn’t let just anyone use it. But Gerard wasn’t just anyone.</p><p>So now Gerard was at the hideout all the time too. ‘Hey, you sing, right?’ Frank asked in the middle of their date to the ice cream shop.</p><p>‘A little,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘We need someone to do backing vocals for us. You wanna?’</p><p>But Gerard couldn’t say no to him when he gave him the puppy eyes. And Frank knew it. ‘C’mon, dude!’ the younger man said. ‘You already know all of our songs, you’re basically our biggest fan.’</p><p>Gerard smiled because that was true. Though he was more a Frankie fan. ‘Okay, I guess.’</p><p>‘Really?’</p><p>‘Yes.’</p><p>The following Friday, as promised, Gerard was there, doing vocals for Pencey Prep, and once in a while, he’d look at Frank and smile at him.</p><p>‘Thanks for doing this,’ Frank said, back in his dorm that night. ‘And for supporting me.’</p><p>Gerard noticed how on the inside Frank seemed like the tough kid, but in reality, he was a big softie. And he loved that. ‘Always.’</p><p>‘By the way – my cousin called me. You’re opening for us if you want.’</p><p>‘What?! You got us a gig?!’</p><p>Frank just smiled at him. ‘I don’t do that for anybody.’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>There was silence for a moment, then Frank spoke up again. ‘What’s your band’s name again?’</p><p>‘My Chemical Romance.’</p><p>‘Ugh! Love it! Mikey fucking Way is a genius.’</p><p>‘He is.’</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Frank was there for there first gig – yeah, he’d be playing later, but Gerard was sure he’d still be there if he wasn’t –, standing on a chair, and watching them. Completely in awe of Gerard and his talent.</p><p>And he was there on the second show and the third. And even when Pencey broke up, he’d still go and see them.</p><p>And now that Frank didn’t have a band, he was spending more time at his mom’s house. Which meant he wasn’t seeing Gerard as often. But when his friend Geoff asked him to give him a ride to the studio to produce My Chemical Romance’s album, he didn’t hesitate.</p><p>He was usually high as a kite during the recording, but then Gerard would ask him to give him a ride home, and they could make out on the car.</p><p>They were halfway through the recording, when someone was knocking on his door. When he opened it, he saw Gerard and Ray standing there.</p><p>‘You wanna go for a walk?’ Gerard asked, obviously nervous.</p><p>‘It’s past midnight,’ Frank said, looking back to the living room to check if his mom hadn’t woken up.</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>‘Fine.’ So he followed them, wearing his pajamas, and they walked around the block. In silence. ‘Can you tell me why you drag me out of my house in the middle of the night?’</p><p>Ray turned around but didn’t say a word. He just gave Gerard a look, knowing he wanted to give him the news. ‘You wanna join the band?’</p><p>Frank stopped, shocked.</p><p>Had they just asked him if he wanted to join his favorite band?’</p><p>‘Are you serious?’</p><p>They both nodded.</p><p>‘Hell yes!’ Frank said.</p><p>Once they were back outside Frank’s house, Ray said goodbye and said he had to head home.</p><p>Neither Gerard or Frank said anything.</p><p>They knew this would change everything. They’d be in the same band, and see each other all the time.</p><p>Gerard noticed Frank was cold, wearing only a t-shirt, so he took off his hoodie and helped Frank put it on. ‘Thank you,’ he said.</p><p>‘It’s nothing. You were cold.’</p><p>‘No – I mean, for inviting me. You know I love the band.’</p><p>‘Of course.’ Gerard was blushing. ‘I like to have you around.’</p><p>Frank then wrapped his arms around him, and hugged him tight. ‘You’ll get cold,’ he said.</p><p>‘It’s okay. I want you to have it.’</p><p>They just stood outside Frank’s door, hugging each other. Imagining if this could be the start of something. He imagined himself in twenty years time, definitely still in love with him, probably adopting dogs and living in their own house, making music. And he knew that everything was going to be okay.</p>
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<a name="section0047"><h2>47. Your Propaganda Bullshit - PART 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was past nine, and Frank was late for work.</p><p>His car barely made it and he had to run inside as fast as possible. ‘This is the last one, Iero!’ he heard his manager said.</p><p>‘My car broke down! I had to drag it down the street!’</p><p>‘Maybe it’s time you by a new one.’</p><p>He was about to complaint about his wage and how he’d never afford a new car, but he thought twice about it. He still needed the job. So he shut up and put on his apron before heading to his register.</p><p>All he could think of all day was how he had to work extra hours and maybe get a second job to afford a new car. Not that he wanted to. He had that car since college and it was his precious baby.</p><p>After his shift, Larry from produce called his mechanic friend, and said he’d give him a discount. ‘Thank you, man,’ Frank said. ‘And I’m sorry for taking advantage of your kindness, but I need a ride home?’</p><p>‘Sure.’</p><p>When he made it home, it was already dark, and Bob was high as usual. ‘You didn’t answer your phone,’ Frank said, checking his fridge for any trace of food he could find.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, man. You needed something?’</p><p>‘A ride? My car broke down.’</p><p>‘Again?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>‘You should ask your boy the ex-politician for some money. He might get you a Ferrari or something.’</p><p>‘Shut up! He’s not my boy or anything. We’re just friends.’</p><p>‘Then why are you texting all the time?’ Bob asked as Frank was effectively checking his phone.</p><p>‘He’s got information. He’s using it for good.’</p><p>‘To get some dick? Is that why you’re smiling?’</p><p>Frank was in fact smiling, but still threw a cushion at Bob. ‘He’s just helping me for the next protest, okay?’</p><p>‘So you convinced him to be on your side now. Hmm, I’m sure he wants something.’</p><p>‘Shut the fuck up. I’m leaving.’</p><p>‘Where?’</p><p>‘We’re going for drinks.’ He couldn’t even hide the smile on his face as he said that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Hey –,’ Gerard said as Frank got on the passenger seat of his white Mercedes. ‘How are you doing?’ He had to fight the urge to go for a kiss. They had agreed to be just friends.</p><p>‘Could be better. My car broke down. That’s why I asked you to come and pick me up.’</p><p>‘That sucks.’</p><p>‘Yeah. I’ll get it fixed, though.’</p><p>‘You should have told me, you can borrow one of mine.’</p><p>Frank laughed. ‘I appreciate it, but no thanks. I’m good.’</p><p>Gerard took them to a bar that seemed too fancy for Frank, and he was sure he was the only one in jeans and a t-shirt. A blonde bartender approached them and asked Gerard how he was doing. ‘Hi, Beth! The usual for me. What are you getting?’ he asked Frank.</p><p>‘Bud Light?’</p><p>Once they got their drinks, they headed to the back. ‘So –,’ Frank started, fixing his glasses. ‘Thanks again, for all the help.’</p><p>‘It’s the least I could do for all the damage I caused.’</p><p>Frank smiled, blushing. Fuck. Who was he trying to kid? He wanted to fuck Gerard and go on dates with him – no, he had to stop himself. ‘Still, I appreciate it.’ There was a long silence, and it was obvious it was awkward for both of them. They had only been texting back and forth since that night at Frank’s show, and it was unclear why they agreed to meet again. Gerard said he wanted to tell him some information about the last protest, and the cops who attacked the protesters. So, Frank agreed.</p><p>‘So – what have you been doing?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘Besides being stranded in the middle of the highway thanks to my crappy car, and almost getting arrested? Not much.’ Gerard laughed. ‘You? What do you do now that you’re one of us?’</p><p>‘That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you.’ He paused. ‘My dad gave me a job at his firm, but I’m done working for rich men. I wanna help the cause.’</p><p>Frank’s eyes went big in shock. He didn’t know what to say.</p><p>‘I still have contacts and a lot of intel on important people. And I can help with whatever legal help you need.’</p><p>‘Are you for real?! Would you do that?’</p><p>‘Absolutely.’</p><p>They went quiet again, smiling at each other, and Gerard reached for Frank’s hand. ‘But that’s not all. I know there’s a lot to talk about, and it’s not as easy. But I didn’t give up everything just to be friends. Or fuck buddies. I really like you, Frank.’</p><p>The younger one took his hand in his, smiling because he wanted more too. But didn’t know what to say.</p><p>So Gerard continued. ‘You opened my eyes and made me realize how wrong I was. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I don’t want to be the rich asshole. I don’t want to be in the closet anymore.’</p><p>‘I’m glad, because I wanted to ask you on a date,’ Frank said with a smile.</p><p>‘Oh, really?’</p><p>‘Yeah. And your first protest.’</p><p>‘You think I’m ready for that?’</p><p>‘I guess we’ll see.’ Gerard couldn’t help it and got up, pulling Frank from his seat, and pressing their lips together.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Gerard took him to his loft, and pressed him against the wall as soon as they walked in. They didn’t say anything. Their lips were too busy kissing and licking and biting, while their hands took off each other’s clothes.</p><p>‘I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest time,’ Frank said gasping.</p><p>‘You should have said something, idiot!’</p><p>‘I was waiting for you to say it.’ He went back to kissing him. ‘I was not going to admit I wanted to suck a rich ex-politician’s dick.’</p><p>Gerard couldn’t help laughing.  ‘You are such a punk. And I love that about you.’</p><p>‘You what?’ Frank blushed at the sound of that word. He wasn’t ready, it was too soon. Though he knew, whatever this was would lead to something special. Or at least he hoped it would. The fact that he would make Gerard change his opinions and give up his job. It didn’t go unnoticed.</p><p>And as he led Frank to the couch, he was expecting more of the kinky shit from that last time. But that wasn’t what he got.</p><p>While Gerard was still in charge, he was gentle and his mouth paid attention to every corner of his skin. And it was driving him nuts.</p><p>The way his hands stroked his back and he bit his thighs. He was sure he wouldn’t last long.</p><p>And the best was the cuddling after. ‘I know it’s too soon to say this,’ Frank said, as they were both recovering their breaths. ‘But I love you, and I wanna marry you and have your kids, and be your housewife.’</p><p>Gerard laughed hysterically at that. ‘Wow, babe! We’re going too fast!’</p><p>‘I know, but no one had made me feel this way. I like the kinky stuff, but cuddling is so much better.’</p><p>‘Well, we can keep doing this.’</p><p>‘I like that.’</p><p>They didn’t say anything for the longest time. Gerard traced Frank’s tattoos with his index finger. ‘Can I ask you something?’ Frank asked out of nowhere, breaking their silence. The older man didn’t answer, but Frank still asked. ‘Why did you run for office? Why become a politician? Especially a republican?’</p><p>Gerard thought about it for a minute. ‘I don’t know. It was something that happened, and I went with it. I come from a family of lawyers and people with influence. My dad ran for office too, but never got there. I went to law school, and thanks to my dad’s friends, I started working for the city hall, and I guess they figured me being young would attract younger republicans, so they encouraged me to run. One thing led to the next, and –’</p><p>‘And why didn’t you tell them you didn’t believe in that?’</p><p>‘I would have to come out of the closet, and I wasn’t ready. Then it was too late.’ He looked up to Frank, who was smiling at him. ‘You kinda came out of nowhere and saved me, you know? I didn’t know what to do.’</p><p>‘I’m glad I did.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The weekend after, once his car was fixed, Frank picked up Gerard and they went for a drink. They were both nervous, and wouldn’t stop smiling. Frank would take his hand and kiss the back of it. It all seemed so natural.</p><p>They went for an ice cream after, never letting go of each other’s hands.</p><p>They went to Gerard’s house after and fucked, and the next morning, Gerard drove him to work, and told him he could keep the car. ‘I’m serious,’ he said. ‘I don’t need seven cars. And you do need a new one.’</p><p>‘And how are you driving back home?’</p><p>‘I’m not. I’m walking.’</p><p>‘What?’</p><p>‘I’m going apartment hunting.’</p><p>‘In this neighborhood?’</p><p>‘Yeah, why not? I’m selling the loft and the rest of the cars, and donating the money. Maybe keeping a little bit of it as a backup.’</p><p>‘Who are you and what did you do to my boyfriend?’</p><p>‘Well, you made me realize I don’t need any of that. And I want to be someone you’re proud of.’</p><p>Frank looked at him, confused. ‘But you worked so hard for it.’</p><p>‘Not me. My dad.’</p><p>Frank leaned in and kissed him. ‘Fuck, you’re so hot right now.’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>Gerard found an apartment a block away from the grocery store, which Frank loved because he could stay there every night with the excuse that he’d be on time at work, but eventually they moved in together. Frank took him to his first protest against police brutality, and they would volunteer at a shelter on the weekends. They got a dog, and Gerard started working at the café around the corner. ‘Finally working hard for your own money, huh?’ Frank said when he came home that day.</p><p>‘It feels good.’</p><p>‘It does feel good.’</p>
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<a name="section0048"><h2>48. Looking for some fun?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>‘You’re such a slut,’ Adam said, pulling up his pants as Frank sat there on the floor, his pants still down to his knees, and gasping. He smiled because it was true.</p><p>He liked dick way too much.</p><p>And men seem to like him too. And who was he to say no?</p><p>‘Oh, you love it when I suck you,’ Frank muttered with a smirk under that mustache.</p><p>‘What can I say? You’re good at what you do.’</p><p>Frank got up, and put up his pants, and then kissed the taller man. ‘Just admit it. You’d leave your wife for me.’</p><p>‘For a slut like you? I don’t think so.’ Yet, they were back at it the next night, and the next. Frank worked at a local bar, and Adam was a regular. One of the many he flirted with, possibly the only attractive one.</p><p>But that didn’t stop Frank to accept any kind proposition from his customers. More often than not, couples would come to him and ask if he was interested in a threesome, and he was horny most of the time.</p><p>One night, he ended up in the hot tub of a hotel room, with the guy fucking him while her wife blew him. It was awesome.</p><p>He didn’t know what it was. He was just too pretty, and he liked the attention.</p><p>‘Stop fucking the customers!’ his coworker Bob yelled as he came back from the restroom.</p><p>‘I’m trying to keep the customer happy!’</p><p>‘You’re just a whore.’</p><p>‘You’re just jealous. You want this and you won’t admit it.’</p><p>Bob just ignored him and went back to the kitchen. Frank knew he was right. And he’d totally let Bob fuck him.</p><p>But in the meantime, he went back to work.</p><p>He did notice a man in the crowd looking at him all night. And he was cute.</p><p>By the end of the night, the man had him against the wall of the back alley, with his legs on each side, pounding inside him. Frank hadn’t even asked his name.</p><p>The man gave him a business card after their act, and Frank took it confused. Tucker Rule. ‘Call me boy,’ he said and kissed him, before leaving. Frank grabbed his jacket and the pack of cigarettes he left on the steps, and started walking home. As he neared the corner, he lit a cigarette, and stood there, waiting for his turn to cross the street.</p><p>‘You wanna have some fun, baby?’ he heard a voice say. When he looked up, he saw a man with red hair leaning on the street post. At least he thought it was a man. He was wearing tight jeans and extravagant fur coat. He was definitely a prostitute.</p><p>‘I’m fine,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Are you sure? It looks like you need some company.’</p><p>‘I don’t. I just had some fun myself.’</p><p>‘Oh did you?’</p><p>‘Yeah, and I didn’t have to pay for it.’</p><p>‘Well, lucky you!’</p><p>Shit, now he felt bad. And now he had also missed his chance to cross the street so he was stuck with the stranger for a couple more minutes. And now that he looked at him again, with the dim light highlighting his face perfectly, he had to admit he was fucking beautiful.</p><p>In a very feminine way.</p><p>If it wasn’t for the Adam’s apple, and the noticeable bulge down there – yes, Frank looked –, he could have sworn it was a woman.</p><p>And yet, Frank was mesmerized by his beauty.</p><p>Which was strange, because Frank usually went for more masculine men, usually tall and with big hands. But there was something about the stranger.</p><p>‘Can I at least have a cigarette?’ he asked, bringing Frank back from wherever his mind was.</p><p>‘Yeah, sure,’ he replied and went over to where the other was, offering him his pack. The red haired man took one, and put it between his lips, and then let Frank lit it for him. They both looked at each other as he did, without saying a word.</p><p>‘Thank you,’ the stranger said.</p><p>‘No problem.’ And then the silence continued. Frank didn’t move or went back to the corner or left. He stood there, looking at him, finishing the last of his own cigarette. And maybe, just maybe, he was considering his offer.</p><p>‘I’m Gee, by the way,’ he said, and blew up the smoke on Frank’s face.</p><p>‘Hi, Gee,’ he said with a giggle. ‘I’m Frank.’</p><p>‘Hi, Frank.’ Gee got too close, a little too close, and blew out smoke again, they both smiled, and Frank tried to hide how nervous he made him. He wasn’t sure if he was just trying to convince him to rent him for the night, or if it was something more. But he liked it.</p><p>Gee’s hand reached for his, rubbing the tattoos on his hand with his thumb. And they stood there for a couple minutes, just looking at each other.</p><p>‘Hey – aren’t you hungry? Because I’m starving.’ Frank didn’t know where that came from exactly, but he wasn’t ready to go home.</p><p>‘Wasn’t exactly what I was thinking, but I’d appreciate a cheeseburger right now.’</p><p>‘Let’s go then.’ Frank led him through the streets of Jersey, offering his elbow to the other man. They made it to a tiny burger joint a couple blocks away. Frank got himself the veggie wrap with a large thing of fries and the largest Coke to share, and got Gee a double cheeseburger with everything.</p><p>‘Thanks for this, by the way.’</p><p>‘Anytime.’ Frank couldn’t help smiling at how he devoured the food, and wondered if he even ate something. He looked too thin. ‘I know it’s not exactly the fun you were thinking, but food is always good.’</p><p>Gee smiled, nodding. His mouth full, and a bit of ketchup smeared on the corner of his mouth. And as adorable as it was, Frank went ahead and cleaned it off with his thumb.</p><p>But it stayed there for a minute or two and neither of them made an attempt to move. And Frank didn’t know what it was, but Gee seemed extremely adorable.</p><p>‘So – you’re taken, cutie?’ Gee asked out of nowhere, and Frank gave him a confused look. ‘You said you just had some fun. I take that as you’re in a relationship.’</p><p>‘Not really.’ He laughed nervously. How could he explain? ‘Let’s say you don’t need to charge to be a professional,’ Frank said with a shrug.</p><p>Gee laughed. ‘Then what is it with the <em>Hopeless Romantic </em>tattoo?’ he asked, taking his hand in his, the one with the broken heart tattoo.</p><p>‘That’s just not who I am anymore.’</p><p>‘Did someone break your heart?’</p><p>Frank shook his head, avoiding to look at him. ‘I’m –’</p><p>‘I think you have a big heart, and I barely know you.’</p><p>That made Frank smile. His cheeks a bright red.</p><p>‘So – where do you live?’ Frank asked as they stepped back out to the cold streets.</p><p>‘It’s a little far from here. I’ll –’ But he was interrupted by Frank’s soft lips on his, his mustache tickling him. And his sweet tongue pushing in.</p><p>Gee just took it. He let himself enjoy it as his hands pulled Frank closer. He was intoxicating.</p><p>And he made him – feel things.</p><p>It had been a long time since he felt things.</p><p>The way Frank bit his lip, and pulled from his hair, and left him breathless. When he finally parted, Frank looked up at him, his hazel eyes piercing right through his soul. ‘I just – had to,’ he whispered.</p><p>‘I’m glad you did.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He didn’t even know how they made it to Frank’s apartment, but he remembered stopping every two steps to make out.</p><p>He heard the keys and felt Frank pushing him inside, and then he was taking off his coat and pushing him to the couch. The kiss never broke and Frank’s hands went under his loose shirt, and up his back. ‘Fuck, you’re so –’ he said.</p><p>‘I’m so what?’</p><p>‘Perfect.’</p><p>Gee blushed, hiding his face with his hand, and Frank giggled. ‘Stop it!’</p><p>‘Why? I’m not lying!’</p><p>‘I don’t know – it’s just weird. I’m not used to being treated like this. Dinner and compliments.’</p><p>‘I know, but you deserve them.’</p><p>‘Why are you so nice?’</p><p>‘I don’t know.’ And then he pushed himself against Gee. Clothes were off a second later, and Gee was already a moaning mess.</p><p>Frank got up out of nowhere, and then he was back with the lube and condoms. ‘Just considering we both –’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>Frank put the condom on Gerard, who gave him a weird look, but Frank just smiled. That was new, Gee thought. His customers had never asked him to top them. But again, Frank wasn’t a customer.</p><p>Gee giggled, and he was already getting hard at the thought.</p><p>It didn’t help that Frank was biting his neck, clearly wanting to leave marks.</p><p> </p><p>And Gee thought about something different.</p><p>He reached for his shirt that he had thrown to the floor, and used it as blindfold on Frank. ‘What the fuck?’ the shorter man said, wanting to take it off.</p><p>‘Shh, don’t – let’s just have some fun okay?’</p><p>After a second of hesitation, Frank nodded.</p><p>Gee left him on the couch, hard and impatient, and got up to get Frank’s belt. ‘What are you doing?’ he heard him ask, almost whimper.</p><p>‘Oh, you’ll see,’ the red haired man replied, and then tied the belt around his neck. And pulling from it, he kissed him. He didn’t know how good it would feel to dominate someone else, but it was definitely turning him on, and Frank was clearly into it to. ‘Now,’ he whispered. ‘On your knees, sweetheart.’</p><p>Frank nodded, and obeyed him.</p><p>The simple touch of Gee’s fingers inside him made him shiver, and every time he pulled from the belt, he got harder and harder. He was liking this.</p><p>By the time Gee pushed his member inside, he had lost it.</p><p>‘I own you, little bitch,’ Gee said, pumping him at the same time, and not stopping until they were both coming.</p><p>Frank collapsed on the floor, shaking from his orgasm, and Gee took off the blindfold and kissed him. ‘You did so good, babe.’</p><p>Frank could barely smile, but it was impossible not to.</p><p>How did Gee manage to make him feel so much?</p><p>They stood like that, for the longest time, their legs tangled. Gee running down his hands all over his tattooed body, a tingling sensation invading him.</p><p>‘You wanna stay over for breakfast?’ Frank asked.</p><p>Gee laughed. It was a nice laugh. ‘You are so fucking nice.’</p><p>‘I just don’t want you to go.’</p><p>‘Funny – because you didn’t even want to have <em>fun</em>.’</p><p>‘How stupid of me.’ And he couldn’t resist kissing him again. ‘I like you.’</p><p>‘I like you too.’</p><p>Frank cuddled closer to him, and soon they fell asleep, listening to each other breathe.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. Puppy for Adoption</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘So – what do you think?’ Gerard asked excited as he showed off his new apartment to the other man, who didn’t show any emotion on his face. ‘You think she’ll like it?’</p><p>‘Meh – you’re really about to pay thousands a month in this apartment just so that she likes it?’</p><p>‘Hell, yeah! She’s my daughter, Mikey!’</p><p>The other man just shrugged. ‘I guess.’</p><p>‘And she’s been going through a lot! I just want her to have something, you know?’</p><p>‘Are you even sure she’s going to let her visit you?’</p><p>Gerard looked out the window, thoughtful, and let out a sigh. ‘It’s not like she has an option. She knows if she doesn’t, she can get in trouble and I can get full custody. Not that I’m not doing anything in my hands to do it.’</p><p>That made his brother smile. He liked to see the old Gerard back. ‘I know you will.’</p><p>They stood there for a while, not saying anything. Gerard was glad he was back home in New Jersey, and that he could see his brother more. ‘I want her to have a family. See her grandparents. Hang out with you and her cousins. She needs that.’</p><p>‘I know. So when is she coming?’ Mikey asked.</p><p>‘In two weeks.’</p><p>‘That’s exciting.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ Gerard led him to the kitchen, where there was a lonely red coffee maker on the counter, and started a pot. ‘I’m a little nervous, to be honest.’</p><p>‘I don’t blame you.’</p><p>‘It was stressful already living in the same city. And sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing getting this job, and moving all across the country and making it more difficult.’</p><p>Mikey knew what he meant. While he missed seeing his brother more than anything, he knew that his daughter needed him more. ‘You did the right thing. And don’t worry, we’ll make sure she wants to stay here Jersey.’</p><p>Most of Gerard’s boxes hadn’t made it yet, and he had to buy new furniture. He explained to Mikey that the first thing he got when he signed the lease, was the couch, to have something to sleep on. ‘You’re that used to sleeping on the couch, man?’ the younger Way joked, earning a punch from Gerard. He said the beds would be arriving the following day, and asked him if he’d go with him to IKEA to get bookcases and a table. So that’s what they did.</p><p>He also helped him build them, while they talked about Gerard’s new job on the east coast. He was supposed to start the following day. It had taken him so long to earn his position in the comic book world, and he had finally gotten a job as comic book artist, his dream since he was a kid.</p><p>They ordered pizza and Mikey told him about work, and complained about everyone, including his wife and the kids, and it felt nice to talk to his brother like this again. By the time, they finished it was almost one in the morning, and Mikey had to leave. ‘You sure you’re gonna live here on your own before Bandit comes to visit?’ he asked.</p><p>Gerard shrugged. ‘It’s not like I wasn’t living on my own for the past six months. But you can stop by anytime. And I’ll probably be working most of the time.’ Mikey grabbed his jacket and opened the front door to head out.</p><p>He then noticed the poster on the wall across the corridor. It was the picture of a cute puppy. Above it, it read, <em>Up for adoption!</em>  And there were slips with a phone number on the bottom of the page. ‘Or,’ Mikey said. ‘You could adopt a dog!’</p><p>Gerard smiled and waved him goodbye. The last time he had a dog, he was fourteen. He didn’t even know how to take care of one. But he still considered it.</p><p>He wasn’t so excited about living alone.</p><p>So when nobody was looking, he took one of the slips and went back inside his apartment.</p><p>It didn’t mean he was going to call them, but he’d think about it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The next day, when he came home from work, the movers had already dropped off his stuff – he had to remind himself to thank Mikey for stopping by to get it – but he was too tired to move things around and set up the beds. Maybe he’d ask his brother to come help over the weekend.</p><p>In the meantime, he opened a beer and sat on the couch – his precious couch – to watch Netflix on his laptop. He’d probably get some Chinese food later because his fridge was empty, and he had to remind himself to go to the grocery store soon.</p><p>After a few episodes of the TV show he was watching, he wished Bandit lived there with him already.</p><p>He missed her so much, and he knew that he’d give him a better life than her mom, but he had to be patient and wait to get full custody of her.</p><p>In the meantime, he felt kind of lonely.</p><p>He didn’t even think about dating again yet.</p><p>He wasn’t ready.</p><p>But maybe Mikey was right and adopting a dog would help.</p><p>So he called the number on the slip of paper.</p><p>‘Hello?’ the voice on the other side said. It was a male voice, sounding tired.</p><p>Gerard didn’t even know what to say, and he was taking too long to talk. He hated being an introvert sometimes. ‘Yeah – sorry. I’m calling about the dog?’ he said. He hated talking on the phone, he always got so nervous. ‘I saw the ad outside my apartment, and –’</p><p>‘Oh,’ was all the other guy said. There was a long pause before he continued. ‘Where do you live?’</p><p>Gerard seemed confused by the question. ‘Parkwood Apartments?’</p><p>‘I know,’ the guy interrupted. ‘I live here too, I posted those all over the building. I mean what apartment?’</p><p>‘Oh. Apartment eleven, third floor.’</p><p>‘Cool. I’m a floor below you. You’re home now? I can bring the dog –’</p><p>‘Right now?’ That was a little too soon for him. He didn’t even have a bed or food for the dog. ‘I guess, yeah.’</p><p>‘Fine. I’ll be there in a minute.’</p><p>Fuck, what was he supposed to do now? He wasn’t ready to have a dog now!</p><p>And just as he was freaking out, there was a knock on the door. ‘I’m coming!’ He changed his shirt, because he didn’t want a stranger to think he was a Star Wars nerd well into his forties.</p><p>And when he opened his door, he saw an attractive, tattooed man in a cardigan, carrying the cute, brown puppy from the picture. ‘Hey,’ he said with a smile.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard replied.</p><p>‘I’m Frank? Your downstairs neighbor.’</p><p>‘Oh.’ Gerard didn’t know how to interact with people like that. But he guessed introducing himself would be a good start. ‘I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘Nice to meet you.’ He offered his hand to shake, and Gerard took it, and then let him in. Frank looked around, noticing the mattresses and boxes all over the place. ‘You just moved in?’</p><p>‘Yeah, a couple days ago.’</p><p>Frank nodded, not sure what to say. ‘I see that you bought new stuff,’ he said pointing at the mattresses by the corner.</p><p>‘Oh, yeah – I was living in California, so I’m pretty much starting from scratch.’</p><p>‘Nice.’ They stood there, and it started to get a little awkward. ‘Here,’ Frank said, handing the dog to him.</p><p>Gerard took it, realizing just then that he never really agreed to take it, but he guessed why not. the dog was adorable and it seemed to like him. ‘How much is it going to cost?’</p><p>‘Oh, nothing. My mom’s dog just had a bunch of puppies and she can’t take care of them. Oh, and it’s a girl.’</p><p>‘Oh. What’s her name?’</p><p>‘That’s up to you now. I was calling her Soup, but you can change her name.’</p><p>‘I like Soup.’ She was already cuddling in his arms, and he was already in love. ‘So – what do you feed her? What does she like? What do you do with a dog?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help laughing. ‘Wait – you don’t know?’</p><p>‘Not really. I had a dog when I was younger, but that was a long time ago. And it was more my parents who took care of him.’</p><p>‘Oh.’ Frank paused. ‘Well, she can literally sleep anywhere, but she likes to sleep near you. So if you’re okay with her sleeping in your bed. If not, you can get her a bed. She’ll need to go potty outside. I already trained her. But you’ll need a leash. Probably a carrier too to take her to the vet. Bowls for food and water. I have a whole bag of dry food I can give you.’ He noticed Gerard’s confused face, and stopped. ‘Wait, okay?’ And then he was out of the door.</p><p>Gerard just hoped Soup wouldn’t pee on the carpet while he was gone.</p><p>But Frank was back five minutes later, carrying a box. Inside there was a dog bed, two clean bowls, a pink leash to go with her collar, and the bag of dry food. ‘Wow! You shouldn’t have!’</p><p>‘Oh, don’t worry. I have a lot of extras.’</p><p>‘But I have to pay you for this!’</p><p>‘You don’t. Just, give her a loving home and take care of her.’</p><p>Gerard agreed, unable to keep his eyes off Soup. ‘Thank you so much!’</p><p>‘No problem.’ Frank started making his way out, and just turned around one last time to say goodbye. ‘I guess I’ll be seeing you around?’</p><p>‘I guess,’ Gerard replied with a smile. Frank was too kind.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>Even though Gerard wasn’t ready to have a dog just half an hour ago, now he couldn’t imagine his life without Soup.</p><p>He spent the rest of the day watching her sniff around, play with the toy Frank brought for her, and drink her water. He also went online to see what else he had to do, and whether he had to follow a schedule or what kind of dog food to buy. He realized it was like having a kid again, but learning all over again because this kid ate a different kind of food and had different needs.</p><p>But Soup seemed to like Gerard too, and she would snuggle in his lap and follow him around, and waggled her tail every time he called her.</p><p>He texted Mikey to give him the news, and also because he was more experienced with dogs than him, and that could be of help. And his brother seemed just as excited when he sent him pictures of Soup, and had offered himself to take care of her while Gerard went to work.</p><p>He set the dog bed next to the couch, but Soup ended up sleeping by his feet.</p><p>The next morning, he got up early to take her outside, and left some food for her, before dropping her off at Mikey’s. ‘Please, text me to let me know how she’s doing,’ he asked his brother.</p><p>‘Jeeze! You’re more unbearable than when Bandit was a baby!’</p><p>Gerard just shoot him a look and left. He couldn’t believe how his life had changed in less than twenty-four hours, but he was glad it did.</p><p>After work, he stopped at the pet store to buy her more toys, and some treats, and went pick her up. ‘I didn’t know you’d be so excited about a puppy,’ Mikey said when he handed her out.</p><p>‘Me neither.’</p><p>And he went home and played with her. He hadn’t smiled and laughed so much in years, and even though he had only had her for a day. So he called his favorite person to tell her. ‘Dad!’ the girl said on the other side.</p><p>‘Hi, B!’ He missed her so fucking much. And as much as he didn’t like the idea of his eleven-year-old daughter having her own phone, it was the only way to communicate with her without her crazy mom interfering. He asked how things were going and whether she was done with homework. He asked if she was ready to visit him, and she told him she wanted to move to New Jersey with him. He told her he’d do anything in his power so that she would, and that he had just bought a dog for her. ‘I miss you.’</p><p>‘I miss you too, Dad.’</p><p>He went to sleep with Soup, and he knew it wasn’t the same as having Bandit there, but at least he wasn’t alone.</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The next day, he did the same thing, and luckily for him, it was the weekend, so he could stay home with his pup.</p><p>They had just come back from their walk, and Gerard was brewing the coffee, when there was a knock on the door. ‘Your uncle is here?’ he said to Soup. ‘He really can’t live without you, huh?’ Except when he opened the door, it wasn’t Mikey, but Frank, his neighbor. ‘Oh, hey.’</p><p>‘Hey,’ he said with a smile. He looked like he had just been running, all sweaty and wearing shorts, and Gerard had to try hard not to <em>look.</em> ‘I was just – stopping by? To check on you?’ Gerard gave him a confused look. What did he mean by checking on him? ‘You seemed confused about how to take care of the puppy, so –’</p><p>‘Oh!’ So that was it? He wanted to make sure he hadn’t killed Soup. ‘Actually we’ve been doing fine. We’re best friends by now.’ He pointed at where Soup was playing with one of her toys.</p><p>‘That’s awesome!’ Frank nodded, but still didn’t move. ‘Can I say hi?’</p><p>‘You miss her, huh?’</p><p>‘I kinda do.’ So Gerard let him in, and Frank sat on the floor next to her and started giving her belly rubs. She seemed to be missing him too. ‘You got the hang of it by now?’</p><p>‘I think so. I spent the whole first night reading stuff online, and asking people who have dogs.’</p><p>‘You’re smart. And it looks like you’re doing great.’</p><p>‘Thanks.’ Gerard didn’t know what to say. Should he offer him coffee? Just let him stay as long as he wanted. It’s not like he didn’t have anything to do.</p><p>But it was Frank who spoke first. ‘I see that you haven’t set up your furniture.’</p><p>‘I was planning on doing that today, actually.’ He just hoped he didn’t sound mean and like he was trying to get rid of him. ‘I’ve been working, and I was going to call my brother to help.’</p><p>‘I can help.’</p><p>Gerard didn’t get why he was so nice, and he didn’t know what to say.</p><p>And Frank could see that. ‘It’s fine. I don’t have anything to do, and I don’t mind helping.’</p><p>‘Are you sure?’</p><p>‘Absolutely.’</p><p>So they put Soup in the carrier, to avoid accidents, and started moving things around. Gerard told him where things go, and they both carried the beds inside the bedrooms. Then the nightstands, and all the other stuff. And Gerard couldn’t not see Frank’s arms as he carried things inside.</p><p>When they were setting up the headboard in what would be Bandit’s room, Frank looked up. ‘So – you have a family?’ he asked, pointing at the pink headboard, and the pink nightstands.</p><p>The question caught him by surprise. He wasn’t expecting him to want to know. ‘Oh – I have a daughter. I got divorced recently. They live in LA.’</p><p>‘Oh.’</p><p>‘Yeah. She’s visiting soon, though.’</p><p>‘That’s good.’ He went quiet again, probably thinking he had overstepped. ‘And I’m sorry, about the divorce.’</p><p>‘Oh, it’s okay. I just know I should have done that a long time ago. She’s crazy as fuck.’</p><p>That made Frank laugh.</p><p>‘Thanks a lot, really,’ Gerard said. ‘I can finally sleep in a bed, so –’</p><p>‘No problem.</p><p>They released Soup from the carrier, and she sat on Frank’s lap. It was adorable, Gerard thought. Maybe he wouldn’t mind having him around so Soup wouldn’t miss him. But now, he had to go, and Gerard wouldn’t stop thanking him, and Frank insisted it was nothing.</p><p>‘You should have asked me for help, though. With Soup. I’m like a dog expert.’</p><p>‘You had already done enough. And I don’t even have your number.’</p><p>‘You should have gone and knock on my door.’</p><p>‘I don’t know where you live.’</p><p>‘Second floor, apartment nine.’ Gerard noted. ‘Anyway, now you know. You can go and just ask whatever.’</p><p>‘Thanks.’</p><p>He hoped he saw more of Frank, to be honest.</p><p>The next morning though, without even planning it, Gerard took Soup for her morning walk, having a cigarette while she did her thing, and just then, Frank ran by, waving at them as he did, and Gerard just hoped he wasn’t blushing.</p><p>And he still didn’t know what it was about Frank that make him so fucking attractive – who was he kidding, Frank was fucking attractive – but he wasn’t expecting it. Not because he was a guy. But because he was still dealing with the divorce, and felt like it was too soon, and he was a stranger, and he didn’t understand why, but Gerard just couldn’t stop thinking about him.</p><p>So the next day, he got up early again, and went for a walk with Soup, hoping he’d run into Frank again. Which he did.</p><p>And – did Frank just wink at him?</p><p>So he was back the next day, and the next. And then the next, Frank seemed to be waiting for him, standing on the same spot Gerard usually stood every morning. ‘Hey.’</p><p>‘Hey.’</p><p>Oh, and he had his dog with him. ‘This is Lois,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Hi, Lois,’ Gerard said and kneeled down to pet her. They talked for a while, mainly Frank asking where he worked – DC comics – and Gerard asking if he had was married – no.</p><p>At some point, while Gerard was too distracted talking to Frank, Soup ran off to follow a squirrel. Gerard ran after her, calling her, while Frank laughed at him.</p><p>‘Come, Soup!’</p><p>And that just made Frank laughed hysterically. ‘You did not just say that! You just made my day!’</p><p>Gerard realized what he said and got embarrassed. ‘Did you call her Soup just for that?’</p><p>‘Kinda, but there wasn’t a point since I live alone and my mom would never understand that.’</p><p>Gerard wanted to say how adorable that was, but he kept it to himself, and went to get his dog instead.</p><p>Then, when Gerard mentioned he had to go to work, and he had to drop off Soup at his brother. ‘I can dog sit her –,’ Frank said. ‘I mean, if you’re okay with it.’</p><p>‘Are you sure? You’ve already done enough.’</p><p>‘It’s okay. I like her. And I really don’t have anything else to do.’</p><p>‘No offense, but don’t you have a job?’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help laughing. ‘Yeah. I have a band. Does that count as a job? Anyway, we’re not on tour, so I have a lot of free time.’ Fuck, Gerard had to stop himself or he’d kiss him. So Frank took her home, and Gerard went to pick her up later, and then the next day. On Friday, when he knocked on Frank’s door, he wasn’t expecting him to be shirtless, showing off all his tattoos, and making it harder – literally. ‘Oh, hey,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘Hey.’</p><p>‘So – I just made some popcorn, and I was going to watch a movie. You wanna join?’</p><p>Gerard could never say no. so he got in and followed him inside. He offered him a Coke, and they sat to watch a dumb horror movie, but ended up talking more about work. And then Gerard’s phone rang. ‘Yeah? – you know she was supposed to come tomorrow! Fuck you! – if you don’t, it’ll just make it easier for me to get full custody – fine, fuck you, too!’ And then he hung up.</p><p>Frank just gave him a smile.</p><p>‘I’m sorry – my ex wife – she’s fucking crazy.’</p><p>‘No worries, man.’</p><p>Gerard knew he hadn’t asked, but he still told him. ‘My daughter was supposed to come tomorrow, but she’s not letting her come.’</p><p>‘Yikes.’</p><p>‘Yeah. And I hate that B has to live with her. She’s not really a good mom.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘Me too.’ And then, out of nowhere, Frank leaned in and kissed him. And Gerard didn’t know what to do with his hands, so he just let them rest on his naked torso. When they pulled apart, Gerard just smiled, which was enough of a sign for Frank to keep going. Soon, he was on top of him, taking his shirt off.</p><p>‘God!’ Frank sighed. ‘Wasn’t I obvious enough?’</p><p>Gerard laughed because he was. But instead of replying, he just pulled him closer and kissed him again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>The next morning, he woke up to Frank already brewing coffee for them. ‘Sorry I didn’t wake you,’ he said. ‘You seemed to need your rest.’</p><p>‘Last night was – something.’</p><p>‘It really was.’</p><p>‘Look, I understand – it –’</p><p>But Frank didn’t let him finish and kissed him again. ‘Let’s just take it slow, see what happens –’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>He spent the rest of the day with him, and they went to walk the dogs together. Later that day, Bandit called him to tell him that her mom had finally agreed to let her go visit him, and that she’d be there on Monday.</p><p>When he gave Frank the news, he seemed genuinely happy for him.</p><p>When Monday came, he called his boss to tell him something had come up and he had to pick up his kid at the airport.</p><p>Bandit ran to him the moment she saw him. She was so fucking big!</p><p>Then, they went home, and she finally met Soup. Then, Bandit gave her the envelope her mom had given her to give her dad. When he opened, he felt a tear run down. It was a legal document saying she was granting him full custody of Bandit. She could stay in New Jersey, and they’d be a family. They cried together for a while, and then Gerard said they should go to the park.</p><p>As they were walking out the building, Gerard noticed Frank standing there with Lois. They waved at each other, not sure how to interact now. But Gerard waved at him to come closer, so he did. ‘Hey, B – this is Frank. Frank, she’s my daughter, Bandit.’</p><p>‘Cool name,’ he said.</p><p>And then Gerard reach for his hand, locking their fingers together, and they all walked to the park as a family.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. Puppy for Adoption - Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Bandit! Let’s go!’ Gerard yelled from the kitchen. ‘We need to get going! Grandma is expecting us.’</p><p>‘I’m coming!’ Five minutes later, she came out of her room, wearing a short pink dress, much to the dislike of her father.</p><p>‘You’re not wearing that!’</p><p>‘But why not?’</p><p>He couldn’t believe how much she had grown up in the past couple months since he’d last seen her. ‘Because!’</p><p>‘But my mom bought it for me!’</p><p>‘Of course she did!’ He had to accept his defeat in this one because they were already late and they’d be stuck in traffic.</p><p>‘Dad! I’ll be twelve in a couple months.’</p><p>‘I know, and that’s exactly –’</p><p>‘But this is what girls at school wear!’ Oh, how he missed when she was younger and he could choose her outfit. He wasn’t ready to have a teenage daughter.</p><p>‘Fine, let’s go.’</p><p>They got in the car, with Soup in the backseat, and Gerard let Bandit choose the music. They both sang to songs from their favorite musicals, and Gerard’s smile grew bigger now that she was back with him. He wanted to ask her so many things, but decided not to ruin the vibes. He missed his best friend.</p><p>When they made it to his parents’ house, they were excited to see Bandit, and she was even more excited. And while she told her grandma all about her new dog, and the bracelets she made for her, Gerard joined his brother in the kitchen. ‘So she’s staying with you? Like for real?’ Mikey asked.</p><p>‘Yeah.’ He couldn’t even hide his smile.</p><p>‘Just like that?’</p><p>‘I know. But I don’t want to ask. We’ve been having such a good time.’</p><p>‘I understand.’</p><p>‘Yeah, now I just have to enroll her in school and buy her more clothes and stuff.’</p><p>Soon, Donna started serving lunch, and they sat to talk. Bandit was already planning babysitting her cousins, and Donna mentioned she could see some of his personality in her. Gerard said he was glad his boss let him work from home for the week. Mikey said he still couldn’t believe Gerard had gotten a dog out of nowhere.</p><p>When they were done, Gerard showed B the room that used to be his when he was younger, and he was surprised to see his mom still kept some of his Star Wars action figures up in the shelves. ‘Can I have them, Dad?’ Bandit asked all excited.</p><p>‘Of course.’</p><p>‘You created a nerd monster,’ Mikey said.</p><p>‘Oh, shut up! You were just as nerdy as me.’</p><p>‘Not as much as you, but –’</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘And she loves DnD!’</p><p>‘You wanna play, Uncle Mikey?’</p><p>‘Fine, let’s see what you got.’</p><p>It felt good to spend more time with his family, Gerard thought. And more than anything, seeing Bandit hang out with them. It felt like she had grown up with them, and it warmed Gerard’s heart.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Gerard woke early the next morning to take Soup for her walk before Bandit woke up so he’d be back to make her breakfast.</p><p>And as he was stepping out of the building, Frank just about to come in. ‘Oh, hey,’ the tattooed man said.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard answered with a smile. ‘Wanna come with us for a walk?’</p><p>Frank agreed and followed him. ‘Where is she?’</p><p>‘Oh, she’s still sleeping.’</p><p>Frank nodded. He still didn’t know what it was to have kids and looking after them. They didn’t say much for the rest of the walk, and just before getting back inside, Frank leaned in and kissed him. Just not sure if they were still a thing.</p><p>And Gerard wanted to take him back to his apartment and fuck him just like the other day. But he knew it was harder now with Bandit there, and he didn’t know if they could have a future. ‘I need to go and make breakfast for B.’</p><p>‘I know,’ Frank said, looking hurt, and went back to his apartment, while Gerard just stood there, feeling guilty.</p><p>He decided to move on, and head back inside, ignoring what had just happened. He didn’t have time for a relationship, and it was stupid to think he and Frank had a chance. It was just a one-time thing.  </p><p>So he focused in making scrambled eggs for his daughter, because unlike him, she couldn’t live off coffee. While he was making them, Bandit joined him in the kitchen, still sleepy, just like when she was younger. They stood there for the longest time until she finally said something. ‘Dad. Is Frank your boyfriend?’</p><p>That almost made him choke.</p><p>‘It’s okay, dad. It’s 2020, there’s nothing wrong with it.’</p><p>‘I know, B. But it’s not that.’ He didn’t even know how to explain it. ‘We’re just – friends. I just met him, okay?’</p><p>She couldn’t help smiling. ‘Don’t lie, you like him. And he likes you. And you were holding hands the other day.’</p><p>Gerard just gave her a look. He loved how they were still best friends, and she knew him better than anyone. She was right, and there was no point denying it.</p><p>‘You should ask him out.’</p><p>‘I don’t know,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘C’mon, dad! I like him, he’s nice! Nicer than mom.’</p><p>Gerard laughed at that. She was right. ‘Don’t talk like that about your mom.’</p><p>‘Whatever.’ When had she become in a mini version of himself? ‘Just call him and let me know so I can call Uncle Mikey to pick me up.’</p><p>‘Fine.’</p><p>He sat to work in the living room, while Bandit watched Netflix, and during his break, they looked at schools. Gerard insisted she should go to a private school, just like in LA, but she wanted to be normal and go to public school like other kids. So he called the school district, and made an appointment to talk to someone the following day.</p><p>Then, after he finished, he called Mikey to see if B could stay the night with him. ‘Yeah, sure,’ his brother said. ‘Why, you got plans?’</p><p>‘No,’ Gerard lied unsuccessfully.</p><p>‘Going on a date with your man, finally?’</p><p>‘No – wait, what?’</p><p>‘B told me about your neighbor.’</p><p>Gerard just gave a look to his daughter. ‘Shut up, it’s not like that.’</p><p>‘C’mon! You need to have some fun, Gee. I’ll pick her up in about an hour.’</p><p>As soon as he hung up, Bandit dragged him to his closet and started going through his clothes. She handed him a knit sweater and a tie. ‘You know I have to ask him first, right? He might say no.’</p><p>‘I saw the way he looked at you. He’s not saying no.’</p><p>‘How do you know all these things?’</p><p>‘TV, movies?’</p><p>‘But you know it’s not real, right?’</p><p>‘Then why did he give you the look?!’</p><p>Gerard didn’t know what to say, but he was happy she supported whatever it was he had with Frank. He only hoped there was some hope with him.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When he knocked the door on Frank’s apartment, he was still shaking, not sure if it was the best idea.</p><p>But it was too late because Frank was already opening the door.</p><p>‘Oh, hey!’ he said, looking at the roses Gerard had in his hand.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard said with a smile.</p><p>They stood there in silence for a moment, feeling awkward after that morning. ‘Are those for me?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘Yeah. Actually Bandit said you’d like them.’</p><p>‘Your daughter helped you?’</p><p>Gerard nodded. ‘She told me I should ask you out.’</p><p>‘Oh, really? I like her.’</p><p>‘She thinks we’re –’</p><p>‘Oh, does she?’ He stepped closer and kissed Gerard. It was brief, but it left him breathless. ‘Are we?’</p><p>‘I think we should go out on a date first, don’t you think?’</p><p>‘That sounds like it could help.’</p><p>Without another word, Frank went to get one of his cardigans, and ran to join Gerard by the door. ‘So, where are you taking me?’</p><p>Gerard knew he didn’t need a lot of convincing to go out with him, but still took him to a fancy restaurant, and then for a walk. ‘So,’ he started, trying to get Frank’s attention. ‘About this morning. I’m sorry I was an ass. I just –,’ Gerard said, but was interrupted by Frank kissing him.</p><p>‘It’s okay. I understand she’s your priority.’</p><p>Gerard nodded. ‘But the fact that she likes you – means a lot.’</p><p>‘She does?’ Frank said, looking surprised.</p><p>‘Yeah. She says you make me happy and I deserve to be happy.’</p><p>‘You do.’</p><p>They headed back to Frank’s apartment, and Gerard was already pulling down Frank’s pants and getting on his knees.</p><p>‘So –’ Gerard said once they were lying naked in his bed, after having fucked Frank a couple times. ‘Are we boyfriends now?’</p><p>‘I’ll have to think about it.’</p><p>‘Okay.’</p><p>‘I’m just kidding!’ Frank said playfully, pushing him.</p><p>They started going out for coffee, and more walks with their dogs. Frank started showing up with Lois to have dinner with them, and help Bandit with her English homework. Sometimes he’d help take her to school. On Fridays, they’d have movie nights, and usually Frank had to watch whatever nerdy movie the Ways chose.</p><p>Or he’d listen to Bandit talk about her crush or the book she was reading.</p><p>And Gerard couldn’t be happier.</p><p>When Frank was picking up his stuff to go back to his apartment after Bandit went to bed, Gerard stopped him. ‘Hey, you wanna stay the night?’</p><p>‘I’d love to.’</p>
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<a name="section0051"><h2>51. Marching Band Nerds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Move, nerd!’ Gerard heard behind him just before he was shoved to the floor.</p><p>He thought that starting the year at a new school would mean no more bullying, but he was still a big nerd, and wearing a Star Wars hoodie while carrying his trumpet case didn’t help.</p><p>He also thought there wouldn’t be jocks in catholic school, but now he realized how dumb he was to think that. He just got up and grabbed his stuff, and kept going.</p><p>He just needed to find his locker. Hopefully in the next five minutes, so he wasn’t late to his first class on his very first day.</p><p>His parents had insisted to transfer him to catholic school, hoping that would help his anxiety. He had a panic attack earlier that year, which only got worse when kids at school started bullying him because of it and he stopped going to school.</p><p>Now he had to do his senior year from scratch, in a new school, and hope it didn’t get too bad.</p><p>And his mom somehow convinced him to join a club to help him socialize, or at least occupy himself. So he joined band, since he already had a trumpet from band camp back in middle school.</p><p>At least, his first day wasn’t <em>that </em>bad. Besides those idiots earlier, he went through his day mostly unnoticed.</p><p>He just hoped band wasn’t full of idiots like back in middle school, because he was kind of excited to be part of a school club, even if it was nerdy as fuck.</p><p>When he walked in, he gave his slip to the teacher. ‘Welcome to Father Valentine Prep, Mr. Way,’ he said, and Gerard nodded. ‘So – what do you play?’</p><p>‘Trumpet. But it’s been a while.’</p><p>‘It’s okay. Some folks here are starting from scratch, you’ll get the hang of it. Go and take a seat over there next to the kid with glasses.’ Mr. Davis said, pointing to an empty chair.</p><p>Gerard quickly found the kid with glasses and sat next to him. The guy didn’t even notice him there, he was too focused reading a book.</p><p>At least he wouldn’t be the only nerd kid here.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a week or two, Gerard started to get the hang of it.</p><p>Or at least he tried.</p><p>He thought he had the song down, but he couldn’t help notice Nerdy Kid with Glasses giving him the look while playing his saxophone, so he knew he was screwing up.</p><p>And even though he knew he wasn’t going to make any friends, at least there hadn’t been any incidents like that first day. He just wished Mikey was there too, but his parents could only afford private school for him.</p><p>After Spanish, though, on his way to the quad, someone pushed him aside, sending him and his lunchbox to the floor. ‘Move, nerd,’ a guy said, while his friends laughed. Gerard, nodded, trying not to cry.</p><p>‘You have a problem?’ someone said behind them. When he could finally see, he noticed the nerdy sax guy from band there. And when his bullies saw him, they laughed even more.</p><p>‘What are you gonna do, midget?’</p><p>Yeah, the guy was too short to take all of them. He appreciated the gesture, but what was he thinking?</p><p>But before any of them could think, the guy kicked him in the balls and started running, pulling Gerard by the arm.</p><p>He didn’t know what was happening, he just knew he was running as fast as he could, following him. Why did he do that?</p><p>They finally stopped behind the arts building, far away from everyone. ‘Shit, that felt good,’ the guy said.</p><p>Gerard didn’t even remember what his name was, yet he had defended him from his bullies. They sat down, without thinking about it, leaning back on the wall, and looking back to the quad to check nobody was coming for them. ‘I think we’re good.’</p><p>There was a long silence, and they kind of avoided looking at each other.</p><p>‘Thanks by the way,’ Gerard said. ‘You didn’t have to do that.’</p><p>‘No problem.’ He giggled to himself. ‘Though I kinda did it for me too.’</p><p>‘Still, thank you –‘ He tried to remember the kid’s name, but just looked at him confused, which only made him laugh.</p><p>‘It’s Frank.’</p><p>‘Thank you, Frank. I’m Gerard.’</p><p>‘You’re welcome, Gerard.’</p><p>They didn’t say anything for a while, and Gerard just got his sandwich and started to eat, while Frank got a bag of Cheetos out of his backpack. Gerard told him that wasn’t good for him, and Frank said he didn’t care. Then they just went back inside for their next class.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank was still judging him during band whenever he started playing.</p><p>‘Are you sure you can play?’ he asked him when the class was over and they were heading out, but he wasn’t rude or anything, which Gerard appreciated.</p><p>‘I’m trying, okay? It’s been a while –’</p><p>Frank just rolled his eyes.</p><p>‘And I can’t read music?’ He almost said it in a whisper, embarrassed to admit it.</p><p>‘What? Are you for real?’ Gerard just nodded. ‘Come on.’ He led them to a bench at the end of the hallway, and they both sat down. ‘Give me your folder.’ Gerard did as he was told, and Frank took out a mechanic pencil from his backpack, and started writing down what each note was. ‘Now go home and practice.’</p><p>‘Thank you! That’s so nice of you!’</p><p>‘Anytime, man. I’m just tired of you playing right in my ear.’</p><p>Now Gerard felt bad, so he actually practiced because he didn’t want to hurt Frank’s ears.</p><p>Frank did notice the difference, and kept helping him, explaining each part of the partiture. And he was so patient with him, Gerard learned in no time.</p><p>And they kept sitting behind the arts building during lunch, and talked about the books they were reading. Gerard admitted he thought Frank was a freshman. ‘You wouldn’t be the first one,’ he said. ‘Last year, we had new staff, and they wouldn’t let me in because they thought I was sneaking in from the middle school building.’</p><p>Gerard laughed at that.</p><p>‘So what’s your story?’ Frank asked another day. ‘You just moved to New Jersey?’</p><p>‘No.’ Gerard took a minute because he wasn’t sure if he should tell him. It felt like they barely knew each other, and he wasn’t sure if they were friends yet. But he was the closest thing to one, which was nice. ‘I went to public school. Then my anxiety got really bad, and the bullying got worse, and –’ He couldn’t say it out loud, so he just pulled up the sleeves of his hoodie and showed him the scars of what he’d done.</p><p>‘Oh, shit!’ Frank said, the color gone from his face. ‘I’m so sorry – I shouldn’t have asked.’</p><p>‘No. It’s okay, really. You’re the only friend I have.’</p><p>Frank reached for him and hugged him.</p><p>After band, they would always get something from the vending machine, and talk on their way to the parking lot. Gerard told him about his time in band camp and why he ended up hating it and quitting. And Frank told him he started playing sax just because he sucked at playing the drums and he liked how shiny it was. ‘But then I started to play guitar, and I like that more,’ he said.</p><p>‘You play guitar?! That’s so cool!’</p><p>‘Nah,’ Frank said shily. He didn’t even know why.</p><p>Soon, Frank was driving him home after school every day, and they would meet at the library before school to help each other with their homework and going over the songs for the homecoming performance.</p><p>‘So, I guess I’ll see you later,’ Frank said when he dropped him off that day. ‘I mean, for homecoming.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ Gerard smiled at him, and wasn’t sure why he was short of breath. No, he did know. Frank did that. It was all because of Frank. He liked him.</p><p>‘You want me to pick you up, or you’re –’</p><p>‘I’d like that.’</p><p>‘Okay.’ They looked at each other for the longest time, and Gerard couldn’t help wonder if Frank liked him too. So he got out of the car right away before he did anything embarrassing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Sometimes Gerard hated his parents.</p><p>Especially when they insisted on taking embarrassing pictures of him. ‘Mom! I need to go!’ he said while his mom took a picture of him with his marching band uniform.</p><p>‘But you look so cute!’</p><p>‘Ugh! No, this isn’t cute!’</p><p>And just then, the doorbell rang. Gerard turned to the door, and ran for it before anyone else did.</p><p>And there he was. Frank.</p><p>Wearing the same stupid uniform, but he looked so good with his glasses and that cute smile.</p><p>And now Gerard was blushing.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Frank said. ‘You look good.’</p><p>‘Thanks, you too.’</p><p>They smiled at each other for a while, before his mom approached. ‘You must be Gerard’s friend. Aren’t you the most adorable?’</p><p>Frank blushed, not sure how to react.</p><p>‘Let me take a picture of you two before you leave.’ Frank didn’t like the idea but he wasn’t about to tell that to Gerard’s mom. So they just let her.</p><p>‘Sorry about that,’ Gerard said when they got to Frank’s car. ‘She tends to be a little –’</p><p>‘It’s okay. My mom too.’</p><p>They drove to school, and Frank played The Smiths. Gerard said he was nervous about screwing up, and Frank told him he’d be fine.</p><p>When they made it to school, it was packed. Everyone was there for the football game, and some of them ready for the dance.</p><p>And in the middle of all the jocks and the girls in their pretty dresses, Frank and Gerard were joking around before their performance, throwing paper balls at each other.</p><p>And after the game, while everyone headed to the school gym, Frank dragged Gerard to the side, and kissed him.</p><p>Right there in front of everyone, under the pretty lights.</p><p>When they pulled apart, Gerard looked at him, not sure what was happening.</p><p>‘You know we’re in the middle of a field, in a catholic school, right?’ he whispered.</p><p>‘I don’t care,’ Frank replied. ‘I’ve been thinking about this for so long.’</p><p>‘Me too.’ And they went back to kissing.</p><p>They heard someone calling them gay, which was true, and some others cheering. But they didn’t care.</p><p>Then, when everyone was gone, Frank said, ‘I meant to ask you this earlier, but I was scared you’d say no, and we were coming anyway, but – you wanna go to homecoming with me?’</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘Yeah, I’d love to.’</p><p>Of course, they weren’t allowed inside the gym as a couple, but they weren’t planning on going there anyway. Frank got snacks from the vending machine, and then they hid in the music room, eating and talking and kissing.</p><p>Mainly kissing.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Frank’s birthday was only a couple weeks later, and Gerard took him to a pizza shop for a date. ‘Welcome to adulthood,’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘That doesn’t sound exciting at all.’</p><p>‘It’s not. But I’ve only been an adult for a few months, what do I know?’</p><p>He gave him a rare copy of The Catcher in the Rye that he found online, knowing that was Frank’s favorite book, and then they went to the movies.</p><p>At school, they kept sitting together in their spot, and since nobody could see them from there, there’d be a lot of kissing.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Frank said as they were walking to his car. ‘You wanna come to my house, and we can practice for tomorrow?’</p><p>Gerard nodded.</p><p>But they didn’t practice at all.</p>
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<a name="section0052"><h2>52. Happiest Season</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>CHRISTMAS SPECIAL #1</p><p> </p><p>*Adaptation of the Hulu movie*</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘I told you,’ Frank said. ‘I’m just not big on Christmas. But I love that you love it.’</p><p>They were walking down the street adorned with Christmas lights and ornaments, and Gerard seemed as excited as a little kid despite being in his forties, which Frank found adorable.</p><p>They’d been dating for almost a year. They had friends in common, and one day they somehow convinced Gerard to join them at the bar. They didn’t even set them up, it just happened. It was love at first sight.</p><p>And Frank even though he hated Christmas, he loved seeing Gerard enjoy it so much. They had already set their tree at their apartment, and Frank was just starting to love the view every time he walked by the living room.</p><p>‘I don’t know how you put up with me, babe,’ Gerard said, taking his partner’s hand.</p><p>‘Because I love you.’</p><p>The Christmas festival covered a couple streets. Food tents and art exhibitions, Christmas lights and people caroling. A guy dressed up as Santa taking pictures with kids next to a giant Christmas tree.</p><p>Frank felt like he was about to puke from all of it. It was too much.</p><p>When Gerard insisted he had to wear an ugly sweater, he put on the one his coworkers got for him last Christmas, the Grinch one that read <em>Xmas Sux </em>in big bright red letters<em>.</em></p><p>‘I know it I can go over the top,’ Gerard said. ‘But I just love Christmas too much, and all the traditions.’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>They went to the City Hall where they could go up to the rooftop and see the entire neighborhood, all lit up. ‘You’ll miss me when I go back home?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘What kind of question is that? Of course I’ll miss you.’ Frank pulled him closer to kiss his neck. ‘But Lois and me we’ll be okay. We’ll have a Game of Thrones marathon, maybe invite Jamia over to have a drink or two.’ He paused. ‘You’re gonna miss me?’</p><p>‘Of course! I wish I could spend it with you, but my family has all this traditions and it’s important to them, so –’</p><p>‘I understand. Don’t worry about me. It’ll be just another Friday. I’ll just pretend you’re on a work trip.’</p><p>‘You’re so fucking perfect, God!’</p><p>‘I know.’</p><p>They stood like that for a while, just enjoying the view and each other’s company, Gerard running his fingers through Frank’s bleach blond hair. ‘You wanna come with me?’ the older man asked.</p><p>‘Huh?’</p><p>‘With my family? Spend Christmas with us?’</p><p>‘What? But they don’t know about –’</p><p>‘But maybe it’s time they do. I mean, I’m not getting any younger, and I want to settle down, and I know my dad will love you.’</p><p>‘Will he?’ Gerard nodded. ‘But you’re sure about it? Would you really do that for me?’</p><p>‘Hell yeah! I’ve never been happier.’</p><p>‘I love you.’</p><p>Frank wasn’t sure if spending Christmas with Gerard’s family was the best idea. Maybe it was too soon. Frank’s parents died when he was younger, and he was always a little weary about meeting his boyfriends’ parents. He always felt like they either couldn’t connect with them, or they had pity for him.</p><p>But he knew how important his family was to Gerard, as well as the holidays, and he had never loved someone this much. And he did see himself growing old with him.</p><p>So he said yes. ‘I’ll go.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘So – I’m gonna need a favor,’ Frank told Jamia. They usually met for lunch the next day, since her office was just a couple blocks away from the clinic where he worked at. They’d been friends since college, and being an only child and orphan, she was his only family, pretty much.</p><p>‘Shoot,’ she said, checking her phone.</p><p>‘I’ll be out of town for a week, and I need you to take care of Lois and Snippy.’</p><p>‘Why? Where are you going?’</p><p>He hesitated for a second, and took a sip of his coffee. ‘I’m going with Gerard.’</p><p>‘You mean – no! You’re going to spend Christmas with his family?!’</p><p>He nodded, and she laughed hysterically.</p><p>‘But I thought you hated Christmas –’</p><p>‘Meh,’ he said. ‘But I love him, so –’</p><p>‘Aww! He really turned you into a softie!’</p><p>‘Shut up.’ They went over the pets’ food and needs, and Jamia joked that if he hated Gerard’s family, he could just call her and she’d come pick him up. And before they went back to work, he said he had something to pick up at the store next door.</p><p>‘I’m here to pick up a package for Iero,’ he said while Jamia looked around the store.</p><p>She was about to yell at him, when the lady behind the counter was showing Frank a little box with a ring inside.</p><p>‘You’re proposing?!’ she yelled once outside. ‘What the fuck, Frank?’</p><p>‘I love him! I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I’m almost forty, I don’t think I’ll find someone else as good as him, and maybe it’s time to settle down.’</p><p>‘But what happened to the punk little Frankie who thought marriage was stupid?’</p><p>‘He fell in love.’ Jamia punched him in the arm lightly, happy for her friend. ‘And maybe Christmas can have a good memory attached to it again.’</p><p>‘I’m happy for you.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>DAY 1</p><p>The drive to the Hamptons, where Gerard’s family lived was quiet.</p><p>Frank knew he came from a very different background than him, and that his family was wealthy as fuck, but Gerard was always down to earth, and when he met him, he used to live in a friend’s room and slept on a mattress. But now Frank was scared about the rest of the family.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard broke the silence. ‘So, my parents don’t know yet, and I plan on telling them, but in the meantime – they think we’re just roommates.’</p><p>‘Roommates? And they don’t think it’s weird that you’re inviting your roommate for Christmas?’</p><p>‘I might have told about your parents.’</p><p>‘Okay, so they know I’m an orphan.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I just – it hasn’t come up yet, but I promise I’ll tell them.’</p><p>Frank didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. He just hoped it wasn’t awkward.</p><p>But the second they parked outside a huge mansion, Frank knew it was going to be hell. A well dressed lady came out, wearing a expensive dress, and greeted Gerard. ‘Honey! You’re home!’ she said.</p><p>‘Mom!’ They hugged, while Frank just watched, uncomfortable as hell. ‘This is Frank – my roommate.’</p><p>‘Nice to meet you, ma’am,’ he said, holding out a hand, which she ignored.</p><p>‘My son told me about your parents. That’s a disgrace.’</p><p>Frank nodded, not sure if she was actually sorry or what. ‘It was a while ago, but –’</p><p>‘You’re cute. What do you do?’ He noticed how she looked at all his tattoos, judging him.</p><p>‘I’m a veterinarian.’</p><p>She faked a smile, and went back to Gerard. <em>What the fuck? </em>Frank mouthed as they walked inside, and then followed them.</p><p>Gerard took him to one of the guest rooms upstairs and told him it’d only be for a day or two before he could tell them. ‘I understand,’ Frank said, pulling him closer for a kiss. ‘Fuck, it’s gonna suck not being able to kiss you until then.’</p><p>‘Don’t tell me. It’ll suck more for me.’</p><p>They went upstairs, and Gerard introduced him to the rest of the family. His dad Don, who happened to be a senator, and his brother Mikey and his wife Kristin, as well as their two kids. ‘I’m glad to have you with us, kiddo,’ Don told Frank, who bit his tongue wanting to remind him he was almost forty. ‘And I’m sorry about your parents.’ Frank tried to say something, but Mr. Way was already wrapping him into a hug.</p><p>Gerard and his mom gave him a tour around the house, ending in his basement room. Frank looked around at all his action figures and his collection of comic books. ‘So you were always a nerd.’</p><p>‘Always.’</p><p>And then, Frank noticed the picture on Gerard’s desk. It was a younger version of him in prom. With a girl. ‘Oh, look at this.’</p><p>‘That’s Lindsey. His high school sweetheart.’</p><p>‘Mom! That’s such an outdated term!’</p><p>‘Oh, really?’ Frank asked, trying not to laugh.</p><p>‘We didn’t even date for that long.’</p><p>‘You know she’s still single?’ Donna asked.</p><p>‘Oh, good for her.’</p><p>‘Frank – you have a girlfriend?’</p><p>‘Me?’ He really was the worst liar, Gerard thought. ‘No – not really. I mean, not right now. But I have had. Many. I just – I just went through a breakup.’</p><p>‘Oh, really?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ There was an awkward moment, and they all didn’t say anything and just shared looks before walking back to the kitchen.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had reservations for dinner at a fancy restaurant that night, and Frank wore one of his nice shirts under a cardigan, hoping Gerard’s parents liked him.</p><p>‘Where’s Kristin?’ Donna asked when they met Mikey in the parking lot.</p><p>‘She stayed home with the kids.’</p><p>‘Fine. Shall we?’</p><p>The server walked them to their usual table, and just as they were sitting down, a tall, dark haired woman approached the table. ‘Lindsey! My darling!’ Donna said and got up to greet her. ‘What a coincidence!’</p><p>‘But you told me to be here –’</p><p>Donna interrupted her. ‘Gee, honey, can you believe I ran into her this morning? I had to invite her over!’</p><p>‘It’s nice to see you,’ he said, hoping not to sound fake.</p><p>‘It’s really nice to see you!’ She hugged him. ‘You look really good!’</p><p>‘Thank you, you too.’</p><p>‘What do you do now?’</p><p>‘I still write comics.’ He noticed Frank looking at him. ‘Oh, this is my friend Frank.’</p><p>‘He’s an orphan,’ Mikey added.</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ she said.</p><p>‘It’s okay. It was a long time ago.’</p><p>Then they all sat down, and started talking about when Gerard and Mikey were kids and trips to the beach and Disney World with Lindsey’s family. ‘Oh, I remember when you told me that,’ Frank said.</p><p>Gerard just gave him a look. ‘Hey, I need a cigarette. You have some in your car?’</p><p>Frank nodded and got the cue, so they both walked out of the restaurant and walked to the car and got in. ‘I’m so sorry about that,’ he said, and pulled him for a kiss. ‘I promised this was all my mom’s idea.’</p><p>‘I know.’ He kept kissing him. ‘But why didn’t you tell me you both stayed at the hotel that time?’</p><p>‘It didn’t seem important.’ His hands went under Frank’s shirt. ‘You know what’s important? How much I wanted to do this instead of being there.’</p><p>They kept kissing and Gerard took off Frank’s belt and pulled down his pants before going down on him. ‘Fuck! I needed that.’</p><p>Five minutes later, they were getting out, and Frank was trying to fix his shirt as they walked back to the building. And just then –</p><p>‘Oh, Bert!’ Gerard said, and when Frank looked up, he saw a blond man walking out of the restaurant.</p><p>
  <em>Bert.</em>
</p><p>He remembered that name. Gerard’s first boyfriend. Back in high school. Obviously no one knew about him.</p><p>‘Oh hey!’ Bert said. ‘Good to see you.’ He looked at Gerard, then Frank, then Gerard.</p><p>‘Good to see you too. We’re –’</p><p>‘Yeah. Go ahead.’ And then Bert got in his car and left.</p><p>‘Was that the Bert you told me about?’ Frank asked, almost laughing.</p><p>‘I promised I didn’t plan this.’</p><p>‘You have any more exes coming?’</p><p>‘Shut up! And let’s go or they’ll start getting suspicious.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>DAY 2</p><p> </p><p>Frank tried his best to fit in their conversation. He really tried.</p><p>But they were all so phony, and he was starting to lose his patience.</p><p>If anything, he liked Mikey’s daughters but they cried a lot, and Rowan seemed to be sick so he kept his distance.</p><p>But other than that, the rest talked about publicity and politics and things that Frank didn’t understand. Even Gerard sounded different around them. Frank knew he used to work in his dad’s campaign, but he really sounded like a different person, and he wasn’t sure he liked it.</p><p>That night they were going to yet another party. Gerard had insisted that he brought a suit and this was the occasion he was talking about. ‘A lot of important people are going to be there,’ he explained.</p><p>‘Oh. It’s that kind of party.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>Once Frank finished working on his tie, Gerard used it to pull him closer and kissed him. ‘How am I supposed to control myself when you’re looking like that?’</p><p>‘I knew that would work,’ Frank said with a wink. ‘Hey – have you told them?’</p><p>‘No, not yet. But maybe I’ll wait until tomorrow, okay? This dinner is really important for my dad.’</p><p>‘Okay.’</p><p>Before they left, Donna gathered everyone in front of the tree, and asked Frank to take a picture. ‘Say <em>Christmas!’ </em>he said holding her phone.</p><p>‘We don’t say that. Just smile.’</p><p>Frank took a couple, but she didn’t like any of them. <em>Great, </em>he thought, and just walked away.</p><p>When they arrived at the party, he knew it was going to be the most boring thing ever, so he walked to the bar and got a drink while Gerard went with his dad and his politician friends. At some point, Mikey approached and interrogated him. ‘So – how long have you and Gerard been – roommates?’</p><p>Frank knew that pause meant something, but he went along. ‘A year. Almost.’ He just hoped he didn’t ruin it. ‘I needed a roommate and he moved in with me.’</p><p>‘But I visited him for his birthday and he was still living in that shithole.’</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>‘It’s just –’</p><p>‘Forget about it, I’m bored.’</p><p>After Mikey left, Gerard approached to check on him and get a drink or two. ‘Is everything okay?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘Yeah, just – you know, I need a break.’</p><p>‘You wanna go for a cigarette?’</p><p>‘Not now.’</p><p>And then he was off again. But Frank saw him talking to that Lindsey woman, and he knew Gerard would never do anything with her, but still hurt.</p><p>Maybe he was the one who needed the cigarette, so he went outside and called Jamia in the meantime. ‘Hey – how is everything?’</p><p>‘Great. Lois is right next to me. Snippy has been hiding all day.’</p><p>‘Did you feed her?’</p><p>‘I tried.’ There was a long silence, and Frank knew she wanted to say something. ‘How is it going? Did he tell his family already? Are you still pretending to be straight?’</p><p>‘Shh – I’m not – look, he’s going to. It’s just kinda complicated right now.’</p><p>‘You deserve better than this, baby. You deserve someone who shows you off.’</p><p>Frank rolled his eyes, and just then, saw someone coming. ‘Gotta go, bye.’ It was Bert.</p><p>‘Hey, there. Did I interrupt something?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Nothing. Just – calling my friend to check on my pets.’</p><p>‘Oh, cool!’ They didn’t say anything for a while, and Frank was a little weirded out about him. ‘Can I have a cigarette?’</p><p>‘Sure.’</p><p>As Bert put it in his mouth and lit it, he looked at Frank for a moment. ‘I promise I wasn’t listening. I was just there having a drink on my own.’</p><p>‘It’s okay.’</p><p>Another awkward moment of silence passed. ‘I can relate, you know?’</p><p>‘Relate to what?’</p><p>‘You know what I’m talking about.’</p><p>Frank couldn’t explain, but Bert’s presence made him nervous.</p><p>‘Gerard.’ Frank nodded. ‘You know about –’</p><p>‘Yup.’</p><p>Bert looked around to check if nobody was coming. ‘Back in junior year, a teacher caught us kissing in the locker room, and back then it was, you know – they made a whole deal about it. But he denied it.’</p><p>Frank turned to him, and could see where this was going.</p><p>‘He told everyone I was gay and I was the one who tried to kiss him because I was obsessed with him.’</p><p>‘I’m sorry.’</p><p>‘It’s okay. At least I didn’t have to hide who I was, and I don’t give a shit about these people. But him – he cares too much.’</p><p>‘I know,’ Frank said.</p><p>‘He’ll come around, though. He’s not a bad guy, he’s just afraid.’ Then, he just left, leaving Frank alone again.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Back home, they went their separate ways, and Frank started to get ready to go to bed. When he walked back in the room, he almost screamed when he saw Gerard sitting in his bed. ‘Shit! What are –’</p><p>But Gerard put his hand on his mouth to make him shut up and closed the door. ‘They’ll be downstairs for a while,’ he whispered. ‘We have time.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah? We have time? For what?’</p><p>‘Oh, you know the answer to that.’ He pushed him to bed and pressed his lips against his. ‘I’m sorry about the party. I had to –’</p><p>‘Shut up and fuck me before they catch us.’</p><p>‘Your wish is my command.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>DAY 3</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>‘Frank, honey!’ Donna’s voice yelled outside his door.</p><p>When he opened his eyes, Gerard was still there asleep. <em>Shit, </em>he thought. ‘Gee,’ he whispered, you have to hide. Your mom is coming.’</p><p>He almost jumped off the bed, and grabbed his clothes.</p><p>‘Breakfast is ready!’ Donna yelled, while her son hid under the bed, just in time before she opened the door.</p><p>‘I’m sorry, I was still sleeping,’ Frank apologized.</p><p>‘No worries. Just to let you know that we’ll be serving breakfast soon, and that I’ll expect you to dress just as sharp as last night for our Christmas Eve dinner.’</p><p>‘Sure, yeah.’</p><p>‘Maybe you can ask Gerard to take you to buy another suit.’</p><p>‘Yeah, sure.’</p><p>Before she left, he could swear she looked around the room as if she knew.</p><p>‘Man, I swear your mom knows something,’ he said as soon as Gerard got out.</p><p>‘No, she doesn’t. But I promise to talk to her and dad today, okay?’</p><p>And Frank wanted to believe. He really did.</p><p>He and Gerard went to the mall to buy another outfit for Frank, as well as a gift for the white elephant exchange. And it seemed to go well.</p><p>Frank gave him some space after that, hoping he’d have some time to talk to his parents, but when the party started and the guests arrived, Gerard was ignoring him.</p><p>He spent most of the party talking to Bert or texting Jamia, while Gerard was talking to Lindsey and some of his high school friends.</p><p>He wouldn’t even look at him.</p><p>He was just getting another drink, when the front door opened, and Jamia came in.</p><p>‘What the fuck?’ Frank asked, walking up to her. ‘What are you doing here?’</p><p>‘You said you wanted to get out of here, I came here to pick you up.’</p><p>‘How did you find the address?’</p><p>‘It’s not hard to find Gerard’s dad’s name, and then his address.’</p><p>‘What the fuck, Jam?!’</p><p>She didn’t say anything, and just started to turn around.</p><p>‘Wait here,’ Frank told her, and then walked up to Gerard. ‘Hey, I’m going home. It’s over.’</p><p>‘What?’ he said, looking confused. But Frank was already going upstairs, so Gerard followed him. ‘What’s wrong?’ he asked crying while Frank packed up his stuff.</p><p>‘You’re not ready to be out. I get it. But I can’t pretend to be your straight friend anymore. Call me when you have the guts.’</p><p>‘Hey – no! You don’t understand.’ He was already sobbing, trying to stop Frank. ‘You don’t know what it’s like – my parents will hate me. They only have this perfect image of me, and I can’t disappoint them. And my dad’s career, it could go to shit if I come out right now.’</p><p>‘You’re forty-three years old, Gerard! You’re a grow up!’</p><p>‘It doesn’t mean it’s easy!’ They were both crying, and Gerard had reached out to kiss him, when the door opened, and Mikey was there.</p><p>‘I knew it!’</p><p>‘What the fuck? Mikes!’</p><p>But he was already walking downstairs where everyone was gathered.</p><p>‘Mom! Dad! I have news!’ Mikey announced, getting everyone’s attention as Gerard and Frank joined.</p><p>But Gerard couldn’t let him. ‘Mikey is divorcing! I heard him talking to Kristin!’</p><p>‘Gerard is gay!’</p><p>‘No, I’m not!’</p><p>Frank didn’t know what to say.</p><p>Gerard wanted to cry and punch his brother. And then he saw Frank. Standing by the door. And he wanted to tell everyone that he loved him. But he just couldn’t.</p><p>He just saw as everyone else started to leave followed by Frank.</p><p>‘Hey –,’ Gerard yelled, and ran to him.</p><p>‘Just forget it,’ Frank said, pushing him away.</p><p>But Gerard insisted and pulled him closer, pressing their lips together. ‘Actually, yes. Mikey was telling the truth. I am gay, and me and Frank are dating, and I’ve never been happier.’</p><p>Frank smiled, as Gerard’s dad walked by, straight to his office.</p><p>‘Don’t worry about him,’ Donna said. ‘It’ll take him a couple hours. But Gerard is his favorite, and he wants the best for him.’</p><p>‘Frank is the best for me.’</p><p>‘I know,’ Donna said, and approached Frank for a hug. ‘Welcome to the family.’</p><p>‘Thank you.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>On Christmas morning, Gerard woke up to Frank by his side, sleeping on his bed in the basement. ‘Merry Christmas, Frankie!’</p><p>‘This is the best Christmas ever,’ Frank said clinging to Gerard.</p><p>‘C’mon, let’s go upstairs,’ he said. By the time they made it to the living room, the kids were opening his gifs, and Gerard’s mom was making hot chocolate for everyone.</p><p>They sat on the couch together, holding hands, while the rest opened their gifts.</p><p>Then, Donna gave a present to Frank. It was a huge knitted sweater with a red F on the front. ‘Welcome to the family.’</p><p>They all took a picture in front of the tree, wearing their own knitted sweaters, and sat to watch movies.</p><p>Before going to bed, Frank stopped Gerard by the tree. ‘I forgot one present.’</p><p>Then, he was on his knees, showing him the ring he got for him. ‘You wanna marry me?’</p><p>‘Fuck yes!’ And he pulled him up for a kiss.</p><p>‘I think I’m starting to like Christmas again.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. Christmas Date</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Fake boyfriends on Christmas!</p><p>*Christmas special #2*</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘Merry Christmas!’ Frank yelled, shaking a pair of bells.</p><p>He hated Christmas, he hated capitalism, he hated kids. But more than anything, he hated that he was broke and had to take the job his roommate Mikey offered him.</p><p>Being one of Santa’s elves at the mall.</p><p>Now he was forced to dress up in green tights and a stupid hat every weekend and some weekdays all the way to Christmas.</p><p>Not that he had anything else to do. He planned on drinking and writing shitty poetry and maybe going to a show or two.</p><p>But dealing with brats who still believed in Santa and cried when the line wasn’t fast enough and they were too hungry or wanted to go pee, wasn’t how he was planning on spending his time. He tried his best not to stick his tongue out at the little girl who kicked him in the shin.</p><p>‘Okay, five more minutes and Santa has to go back home to the North Pole!’ Frank yelled, tired.</p><p>‘You could at least pretend to be a happy elf,’ one of the moms said.</p><p>Frank just muffled a laugh, and kept shaking his bells. It was payday, and he needed a drink.</p><p>‘Fuck this! And fuck all these kids!’ Frank said once they were back in the locker room changing back to their clothes.</p><p>‘I know what you mean,’ Mikey replied, putting on his glasses. ‘But this is the only way to afford gifts for my family. Working at Ray’s diner is fun but it’s barely enough, especially when my roommate is unemployed.’</p><p>‘Technically –’</p><p>‘Talk to me in three weeks.’</p><p>‘Fuck you!’ Frank grabbed his backpack and followed Mikey outside. ‘Honestly, I don’t think I’ll make it that far. My mom will be lucky to get a pack of cigarettes for Christmas.’</p><p>‘That’s the spirit!’ They got in Frank’s car, and waited until it warmed up. ‘Hey. You’re coming to the party?’</p><p>‘What party?’</p><p>‘Geoff’s party.’</p><p>‘Oh – no. I didn’t know it was today. I’m having dinner with my mom. I already promised and she has food, and I’m starving.’</p><p>‘Can I come too?’</p><p>‘You know Linda Iero is gonna feed the fuck out of you until you’re fat enough to fill the Santa suit, but you have more interesting plans. And a girlfriend.’</p><p>‘Aww, Frankie! We’ll find you a boyfriend soon.’</p><p>‘Shut the fuck up.’ And then they were off.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>‘So have you found a job?’ Linda asked her only son once they sat to eat their zucchini soup.</p><p>‘You mean being one of Santa’s elf doesn’t count?’</p><p>‘And what are you going to do after Christmas?’</p><p>‘I’m looking for something else, okay?’ He wasn’t. He was still hoping that one day he’d start a band and that it would work out and they’d get to tour around the country. But for now, he knew he had to find a job as soon as possible.</p><p>Every year, even after Frank moved out, he and his mom would have dinner together and put up the tree and all the Christmas decorations together. He knew it was important for his mom, so it was important to him.</p><p>They always ended the night with a cheesy Christmas rom-com. ‘You’re coming home for Christmas?’ she asked out of nowhere.</p><p>Frank looked at her, a little confused. Of course he was. What kind of question was that? ‘Yes – unless you don’t want me to.’</p><p>‘Why wouldn’t I? All I want for Christmas is you, honey.’</p><p>God, she could be so cheesy sometimes. ‘Mom –’</p><p>‘I’m just asking. Your grandparents and aunts are coming. And Mrs. Nestor and her kids are joining us –’</p><p>Frank knew where this was going. Jamia Nestor and him dated for the longest time since they were in high school, but things didn’t work out. Meaning Frank came out. And while his mom was totally okay with it, his catholic grandparents and aunts weren’t and every time he went to see them, they’d ask when he was going to bring a girl for dinner or they’d make comments about him never getting married.</p><p>And he felt she still hoped he’d get married and have kids one day, and knew that Jamia was the most perfect girl for that, and that they’d work their differences. ‘Mom – you know we’re not getting back together, right?’</p><p>‘I know. I just –’</p><p>‘We’ve talked about this. I’m gay, mom.’</p><p>‘And I love you, and I want the best for you. But maybe you can pretend – for your grandparents?’</p><p>‘For real? You’re asking me to pretend to be straight just to keep them happy?’</p><p>‘They just want you to be happy and have a family someday.’</p><p>‘And I want the same thing, but not with a woman. I thought you understood, mom.’ Frank hated to hurt his mom, and to tell her no. And he wished he didn’t have to. But it took him so long to come out and be okay with himself to now pretend again.</p><p>Fuck anyone who didn’t accept him.</p><p>‘Actually –,’ he started, his brain working out a plan. ‘There’s someone.’</p><p>Fuck. What the fuck he just said? There’s <em>NO ONE. </em></p><p>‘Oh my god, baby! I’m so happy for you! Why didn’t you tell me?’</p><p>‘Because –’ Fuck! He was the worst liar! How was he supposed to keep up with the lie? ‘I don’t know. We haven’t been going out for a long time. He’s always busy working –’</p><p>‘You should invite him!’</p><p>‘What? It’s too soon, and he’s probably going to spend it with his family.’</p><p>‘Just ask him. Who knows? Maybe he wants to spend it with you, too.’</p><p>She was too excited.</p><p>Now it was too late to take it back and tell her the truth.</p><p>His mom hugged him, and all he could think about is that if he could just find someone to pretend to be his boyfriend, he could make them all shut up.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Frank thought about skipping Christmas with the family altogether.</p><p>It was that or telling her the truth.</p><p>And he didn’t have the guts to do either.</p><p>‘Frank – come back to earth!’ Mikey said, waving his hand in front of him the next day.</p><p>‘Sorry, I was just thinking.’</p><p>‘Thinking? You never think.’</p><p>Frank punched him in the arm and put on his stupid costume. ‘Shut up.’ Once they were ready, they walked back to Santa’s corner. ‘Hey – by any chance you know of someone who can be my pretend boyfriend?’</p><p>‘What the fuck are you talking about?’</p><p>‘Nothing, forget about it.’ And then he put on his hat and sat next to Santa.</p><p>When their shift was over, Mikey reminded him that he had to pick up his brother from the airport. ‘I’ll probably stay with my folks tonight, so see you tomorrow?’</p><p>‘Yeah. Tell your mom I say hi.’</p><p>‘Fuck you.’</p><p>He went home and straight to bed, too tired to think about finding a fake boyfriend. Why did he even ask Mikey? He wouldn’t understand.</p><p>He still had a couple weeks before dinner, he was sure he’d find someone nice or stupid enough to agree, and if not, he’d just tell his mom that he was sick and go spend Christmas with the Ways.</p><p>He didn’t even know when he fell asleep, but he woke up to laughter and Mikey talking to someone.</p><p>He got up and sleepwalked his way to the kitchen, in search for some coffee, and maybe to punch Mikey. ‘Hey there, sleeping beauty,’ he heard his roommate say from the living room, and saw another figure next to him but couldn’t really see who it was because he wasn’t awake enough.</p><p>‘It’s too early! You need to shut the fuck up.’</p><p>‘It’s almost noon.’</p><p>‘Ugh, shut the fuck up.’</p><p>‘Oh, hey. This is my brother, Gerard. Gerard, this is my asshole roommate, Frank.’</p><p>‘Nice to meet you,’ Gerard said, and Frank really tried to open his eyes but all he could see was a blurry face that looked a lot like Mikey’s with a big thing of black hair on top.</p><p>‘Nice to meet you, too,’ he said.</p><p>‘So you work as a Santa elf too?’</p><p>‘Not for long.’ He started the coffee, almost on autopilot, grateful for his muscle memory and knowing where everything was.</p><p>‘Oh –,’ Gerard interrupted. ‘We brought coffee and donuts.’</p><p>Frank turned to him and did his best not to run and hug him. ‘Why am I stuck with the asshole brother? You’re so much nicer!’</p><p>‘Thanks.’ Now that Frank’s eyes were open and he could finally see him, he saw that he was actually cute, unlike Mikey. But he had to respect the code. No fucking your best friend’s brother. So he had to control himself.</p><p>Besides he was so out of his league. He was a fucking writer, living in LA and all! And maybe he wasn’t even gay.</p><p>‘So –’ Gerard said. ‘We’re going to watch Lord of the Rings. You wanna join?’</p><p>It wasn’t like he had anything else to do. He had the day off, and he was going to stay home anyway. So, he got himself a donut and his now cold almond milk white mocha, and sat in the armchair to watch movies with the brothers.</p><p>He listened to them bicker about stupid nerdy stuff and laughed to himself. It suddenly made him wish he had siblings.</p><p>Gerard ended up hanging out with them for the next couple days after work, and he even went to see a local band with them. Frank met a cute guy who worked at the bar, and they were hitting it off. Frank thought about asking him to be his fake date for Christmas, and that he’d pay him, but it was too loud to talk, and he got embarrassed at the last minute, so he went outside.</p><p>‘Can I have a cigarette?’ When Frank looked up, he saw Gerard standing next to him, all sweaty. Fuck, he really was trying not to have a crush on his roommate’s brother, but it was impossible.</p><p>‘Sure,’ he said, and offered him one.</p><p>‘God, it’s been a while since I’ve been to a show.’</p><p>‘It’s fun, huh?’ Gerard nodded, and Frank had to look the other way or he’d lose it. ‘So you live in California?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’</p><p>‘How is it down there?’</p><p>‘Fucking expensive.’</p><p>They both laughed, and Gerard changed the subject to the band that they just saw playing, and Frank said he was friends with the drummer, and that he had an extra copy of their CD that he could have.</p><p>‘You’re so fucking nice, man!’ Frank said out of nowhere, most likely too drunk. ‘I wish you were my roommate instead of your brother. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes.’</p><p>‘I can be a pain in the ass sometimes.’</p><p>And maybe he <em>was a little too drunk, </em>but it just hit him. Gerard was only visiting for the holidays, he was supposed to be leaving back to California after Christmas. So this could be his chance.</p><p>And he was the sweetest motherfucker, he would probably say yes to Frank’s crazy idea.</p><p>Maybe.</p><p>He tried several times, but Mikey was always there, and he didn’t want to tell him the whole story. And then they went home, and they were too drunk and Gerard fell asleep in the backseat.</p><p>The next morning, Mikey had left for his other job early, and Frank found Gerard crashing on the couch. He walked straight to the kitchen to start the coffee, not awake enough. He tried not to think about his plan, which sounded stupid now that he was sober. He’d have to find someone else. Perhaps on grinder.</p><p>‘Good morning,’ Gerard mumbled as he walked in the kitchen. ‘I swear I’ll go home in a minute. I’ll just have some coffee.’</p><p>‘Oh, no worries, man.’ They were both staring at the coffee maker with their eyes barely open, waiting for it to finish brewing. ‘You can stay as long as you want. Your brother is the one paying the rent lately, so –’</p><p>‘Thanks. I was just too drunk last night to drive.’</p><p>‘It’s cool, man. You want me to drive you to your mom’s place before I go to work? I mean, if you want, you can stay here.’</p><p>‘You wouldn’t mind?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘Nah.’ Frank served the coffee, and then went back to his room. Two hours later, they were listening to the Misfits as they pulled up to Gerard’s driveway. ‘Well, thank you!’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘No problem, really.’ Frank knew this was his chance, but he was too nervous to ask. He knew what he was planning was a little crazy and maybe not worth it. ‘Hey –,’ he called just as Gerard was opening the passenger door. ‘Can I ask you something? And I know I’m crossing the line, and I’m sorry and you’re completely allowed to tell me.’</p><p>‘Okay?’ Gerard said, giving him the most confused expression.</p><p>‘I’m only asking you this because I don’t know anybody else, and you’re leaving after the holidays.’ Gerard turned his whole body to him, waiting. ‘So – I might have told my mom that I was seeing someone. And I kinda want to piss off my homophobic relatives.’</p><p>‘Oh.’</p><p>‘I know I’m stupid, but I just needed her off my back, and I want them to stop asking if I’ll ever get a wife.’</p><p>‘Oh.’ Gerard kept looking straight ahead, as if he was taking it all in, while Frank sat there covering his face from embarrassment. ‘Yeah, sure.’</p><p>‘Wait – what?’</p><p>‘Yeah. I don’t mind.’</p><p>Frank sat up, looking at him, skeptical. ‘For real? We barely know each other, and I know this is totally weird.’</p><p>Gerard just laughed. ‘Maybe? But to be honest, pissing off some homophobes sounds fun. And I know you’re a nice guy, and like you said, I’ll be gone right after it, you can just say it didn’t work and move on.’</p><p>‘Why are you so fucking nice?’</p><p>Gerard shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I don’t have a lot of friends really. And I’m always down for a political statement.’</p><p>‘I owe you big time.’</p><p>‘It’s fine. One day I may need a fake bodyguard to scare off the kids to show up at my mansion.’</p><p>‘Well, I don’t know if I’m the right height, but I can sure scare kids off.’</p><p>‘Deal.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>Frank worked every day of the week leading up to Christmas, so he didn’t have much time to think about his fake Christmas date, which was good.</p><p>He was nervous enough.</p><p>He was already losing it as it was.</p><p>He was starting to doubt it was a bad idea after all. He could just say it didn’t work out or that he had to be with his family, and no one would know.</p><p>But then he’d have to tell Gerard, and he didn’t want to break his heart. So maybe he’d pick him up and then take him somewhere else, or just to watch movies.</p><p>‘You convinced my brother to be your fake boyfriend?!’ Mikey yelled at him, waking him up.</p><p>‘What the fuck, man?! I’m trying to sleep!’</p><p>‘No, you’re not!’</p><p>Frank knew there was no way to win this one, so he sat up and took Mikey’s anger. ‘Why did you ask him? There’s supposed to be a bro code!’</p><p>‘Dude! We’re not fucking! We’re just pretending – and he didn’t need a lot of convincing.’</p><p>‘But –’</p><p>‘Mikey – just shut up for a minute, my head hurts. Not everything’s about you. He’s just too nice. Maybe you should try it.’</p><p>‘Fuck you.’</p><p>‘Fuck you too.’ And then Frank went back to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They had agreed to go have dinner with the Ways’ on Christmas Eve, hang out, and plan their little political statement.</p><p>Frank had been to Mikey’s parents’ house a lot, and they already considered him another child, so it was nothing new. As soon as he got off work after the worst day of all – but also, the last, which he was grateful for – he took a quick shower and drove to the Ways’ house.</p><p>When he got there, Donna welcomed him with a hug and cookies. ‘It’s so good to see you, honey!’ she said.</p><p>‘I missed you, too.’</p><p>‘C’mon! Michael is already setting up the table. I take that you’ve already met Gerard.’ She pointed to her older son, who was sitting on the couch watching TV, and as soon as he saw Frank, he waved.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Frank said, sitting next to him. They hadn’t seen each other since the day he asked him for the favor. ‘So – we’re still doing it?’</p><p>‘I don’t know,’ Gerard replied with a smile. Frank had to remind himself that it wasn’t real. ‘You still want to?’</p><p>‘I’m just nervous. And I feel like it’s a little weird for you.’</p><p>‘Nah, it’s fine.’</p><p>‘So you do this a lot?’</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘Pretend to be someone’s boyfriend to make a political statement? Yeah, all the time.’</p><p>He was making it so hard not to like him more.</p><p>They sat to eat with the rest of the family, and he could feel Mikey’s eyes on him. Donna asked him if he was still looking for a job, and Frank said he hadn’t thought about it. ‘If you need help, we can go job hunting,’ Gerard offered.</p><p>‘Really?’ Frank asked.</p><p>‘You’re so nice out of a sudden, Gee,’ Mikey added.</p><p>‘Well, he’s been a great friend. And I don’t mind helping.’ Frank felt himself blushing, and hoped nobody noticed.</p><p>‘Don’t be rude, Michael,’ Donna interrupted.</p><p>After dinner, Gerard offered Frank a cigarette and they went outside. ‘So – what exactly you want me to say?’ he asked, lighting Frank’s cigarette.</p><p>‘I don’t know. I told her we just started going out.’</p><p>‘And where did we meet? Online?’</p><p>Frank blew out smoke, and noticed how Gerard was a little too close. ‘Well, she knows Mikey. So we can say the truth? That you moved back from California, and we started hanging out.’</p><p>‘Okay. That’s easy.’ There was a long silence. ‘You want PDA?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘I don’t know. Maybe? I think that’s the point. But it’s up –’ But before he could finish, Gerard’s lips were on his.</p><p>It was quick and warm, but Frank couldn’t help kissing back.</p><p>‘Is that good?’ Gerard asked, but Frank was having trouble recovering his breath, and all he could do was nod. ‘Or you want something like –’ And he was kissing him again, only this time pulling his lower lip and pushing his tongue inside.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>He tasted like cigarettes and mashed potato, and he knew he had to control himself, but it was too hard.</p><p>Frank knew this was just part of the acting and preparation for the big night, but it was so fucking hot. His hands went to his sides by instinct, just to have something to hold on to, and let Gerard own his mouth.</p><p>‘<em>Fuck,’</em> Frank whined as they parted lips. ‘Yeah, this is good.’</p><p>‘I just – I wanted you to be prepared when we had to, you know – perform in front of your family.’</p><p>‘Yeah, of course.’</p><p>They sat and shared another cigarette, and went through basic things they should know, like favorite movies or their jobs. Gerard mentioned he wanted to buy a hamster. Frank told him about his mom and his relatives. Then, Mikey called them to open the gifts. Donna always bought him something, and this year it was a hand-made guitar strap. Sometimes he felt Donna knew him better than his own mom. ‘Oh, my god! Thank you so much!’ he said, hugging her, and then turned to Mikey. ‘Dude, I’m taking your mom.’</p><p>After their yearly tradition of watching A Wonderful Life, Frank said he had to go, and Gerard walked him outside.</p><p>‘So – I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?’ he said.</p><p>‘I guess,’ Frank replied, avoiding his eyes, or he’d kiss him again, and this time it wouldn’t be acting. ‘Thank you again. For doing this.’</p><p>‘Absolutely!’ Neither of them knew what to do, and they just stood there. Then, Gerard just took a step closer and gave him an awkward hug. ‘Good night.’</p><p>‘Good night.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p>After a sleepless night, wondering whether that kiss was real, and whether they should keep going, among other stupid ideas, Frank got up and made himself coffee.</p><p>He was already getting ready, trying not to think too much about the night before – which wasn’t working – when his mom called. ‘Just want to make sure you’re coming,’ she said.</p><p>‘Yeah, mom.’</p><p>‘And what about your –’</p><p>‘He’s coming.’</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p><p>Now he had to buy him a gift too. He got dressed, put on the ugly red sweater his mom insisted on him wearing, and walked out. Luckily, he found a pharmacy open, and tried to look for something to give Gerard.</p><p>He knew he wasn’t conceited, and he didn’t really care about material stuff. He saw a couple paperbacks that he could like. And then he saw a big pink hamster house in the pet aisle.</p><p>He asked the clerk to wrap it for him and then went to pick him up.</p><p>‘Hey,’ Gerard said with a smiled as he got in the car, and then leaned in to press a kiss on his cheek.</p><p>‘Hey.’ Frank tried not to think about how hot he looked on his leather jacket and his tight jeans. ‘Let’s go then.’</p><p>Frank had no idea how that much people could fit inside his mom’s tiny house, but they did somehow. ‘You’re ready?’ he asked once they were out of the car.</p><p>‘I think so. Are you?’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ He offered Gerard his hand and they locked their fingers together so naturally, but Frank got worried he’d start sweating. They walked to the door and Frank rang the doorbell, taking one last breathe before the door opened.</p><p>When it did, he saw his mom and all his family. All of them looking at him and Gerard.</p><p>And he almost ran out of there. He wasn’t ready for this.</p><p>But he felt Gerard holding his hand tighter, giving him support. ‘Merry Christmas,’ Frank said, his voice a little shaky and insecure.</p><p>‘Merry Christmas, darling!’ Linda replied and hugged her son, and in that moment nothing else mattered.</p><p>‘Mom, this is Gerard. My boyfriend.’</p><p>‘Honey, it’s so nice to meet you!’</p><p>‘It’s nice to meet you too, ma’am. Frankie has told me a lot about you.’</p><p><em>Frankie? </em>But to be honest, he was okay with it.</p><p>They were let in, and Frank introduced him to everyone, and he knew his aunts were judging them, and that they’d talk about him as soon as they turned around, but with Gerard’s hand in his, he didn’t give a shit.</p><p>‘Hi, Frank,’ someone called. Jamia. She looked different and more grown up since the last time they saw each other.</p><p>‘Hi.’</p><p>‘So it’s true. This is your <em>boyfriend.</em>’</p><p>‘Yes. I mean – we just started dating.’</p><p>‘I’m happy for you. Don’t listen to them, okay? You’re cute together, by the way.’ Gerard and him looked at each other, trying not to laugh.</p><p>They sat by the corner, and Frank told him all the family gossip he needed to know, and played Monopoly with his cousins. Then Frank sat on Gerard’s lap, as if it was something they did, and kissed, just to piss everyone.</p><p>‘You know they’re looking at us, right?’ Frank whispered in his ear.</p><p>‘Good.’</p><p>They sat with everyone at the table, and then the questions started. ‘Have you been dating for a long time?’ his aunt Becca asked.</p><p>‘About a month. He’s my best friend’s brother.’</p><p>‘And is he okay with it?’ his Uncle Jim asked.</p><p>‘Why wouldn’t he?’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘What do you do, Gerard?’ Linda asked.</p><p>‘I’m a comic book writer.’ He kept answering question, but with each one, they’d look at each other, blushing and smiling. And maybe, Gerard wasn’t acting anymore.</p><p>As the night went by, Frank noticed Gerard talking to one of his uncles, and couldn’t stop looking at him. It was a shame he’d be back in California soon, or he’d ask him out for real.</p><p>‘You really like him,’ Linda said behind him.</p><p>‘What?’ He pretended he wasn’t listening, and almost forgot about his acting.</p><p>‘You really like him. I can see it in your eyes.’</p><p>‘Mom!’</p><p>‘Frankie. I know you just started but it’s obvious he likes you too, and I’m so happy you found someone who makes you feel like this.’</p><p>‘You think he likes me?’</p><p>‘Oh, I’m sure.’</p><p>Soon, they all gathered around the tree for the gift exchange. Gerard sat next to Frank with his arm around him. Frank got a leather journal from one of his cousins, and he gave his uncle a set of fountain pens. Then, they were all gone, and Gerard was still whispering things into Frank’s ear, making him laugh.</p><p>‘You’re staying the night?’ Linda asked.</p><p>‘Yeah,’ Frank said, and then looked at Gerard. ‘Are you?’</p><p>‘If it’s okay –’ Frank answered with a shy smile and a nod. ‘Thank you, Mrs. Iero.’</p><p>‘Call me Linda.’</p><p>Before bed, Frank gave his mom the gift he got her. A nice scarf and gloves that went with it. And she handed him a knitted sweater. ‘Thank you, mom.’</p><p>Then, he grabbed the big box under the tree and handed it to Gerard. ‘And – this is for you.’</p><p>‘You got me something?’ He opened it and as soon as he saw what it was, he hugged the box. ‘Ah! For the hamster that I’m gonna buy!’ Without thinking, he hugged and kissed Frank. ‘You’re the best boyfriend ever!’</p><p>Frank tried not to blush, but it was too late.</p><p>They got in bed, wearing boxers and t-shirts, still a little awkward around each other. And now they had to sleep in the same bed.</p><p>‘Are you sure?’ Gerard asked him. ‘I can sleep on the floor.’</p><p>‘It’s fine, really.’ But Frank had to pretend he wasn’t screaming on the inside. And as soon as Gerard got in bed, he leaned in and pressed his lips on his. ‘You know you don’t have to pretend to be my boyfriend right now, don’t you?’</p><p>‘I was never pretending.’</p><p>Frank couldn’t help giggling, and then kissed him back. ‘Me neither.’</p><p>They pulled each other closer for contact, breathing on each other while their tongues played with each other. ‘Should we make it official?’ Gerard asked between pants. ‘I mean, everyone already thinks we <em>are </em>boyfriends.’</p><p>‘What about California? You’re supposed to fly back soon?’</p><p>Gerard shook his head. ‘I didn’t tell anyone, but I’m moving back home. And now I have another reason.’</p><p>‘Do you?’</p><p>‘Yeah. My boyfriend.’</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. Soulmates</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Summer 1991</em>
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</p><p>‘Mom! I don’t want to go to catholic school!’ Frank said from the passenger seat.</p><p>‘Well, Frankie, that’s not up to you, honey,’ Linda replied as they parked the car outside a building outside Bellville. ‘Your father and I are doing a lot of sacrifices so you can have a good education.’</p><p>‘I know, but –’</p><p>‘We don’t want you to end like your cousin Eddie.’</p><p>Frank rolled his eyes and put on his headphones, and pressed play on his Walkman, and followed his mom to the building. To make matters worse about the fact he was getting transferred to catholic school, he had to use the most horrible uniform ever.</p><p>They walked in the store, though it looked more like a big warehouse with a front desk by the door, and there was a young, overweight kid, reading behind said desk. When he looked up and saw customers walking in, he quickly got up and pretended to be working. ‘Welcome to O’Neil Uniforms,’ the kid said, looking like he didn’t want to be there at all.</p><p>Frank wondered if he was even old enough to work here.</p><p>‘Good afternoon,’ Linda greeted him. ‘We need the uniform for Queen of Peace.’</p><p>The kid just nodded and went to the back to look for it.</p><p>A minute later, a middle-aged lady walked out behind him, and asked Linda what sizes she needed.</p><p>In the meantime, Frank found a chair next to the counter and went to sit down, tuning everything down, and just listening to music.</p><p>He was nervous about starting in a new school, and at least hoped that the bullying would stop now. He wanted to start from scratch.</p><p>At least he had music. And he was learning some chords on the guitar his dad gave him. It was taking him some time to do the F chord, but he was getting there.</p><p>‘What are you listening to?’ The voice came out of nowhere, bringing Frankie back to reality.</p><p>‘Uh?’ When he looked up, he saw the kid from the front desk. He was probably a couple years older than Frank. The kid repeated the question, and Frank replied, ‘Oh – <em>Sgt. Pepper’s. </em>The Beatles.’</p><p>‘Wow! That’s awesome.’</p><p>Frank just smiled. He didn’t know why, but this stranger guy saying he had taste made his day. ‘Yeah. My dad got it for me so I wouldn’t scratch his vinyl.’</p><p>The kid laughed and kept folding shirts.</p><p>‘One day, I wanna be like them. I want to have a band that changes people’s lives and that inspires kids to make music.’</p><p>‘I’m sure you will.’</p><p>‘You like working here?’ Frankie asked.</p><p>‘Not really. But my mom won’t buy me comic books, so I have to get money somehow.’ Frank laughed and they kept talking. ‘What grade you’re in?’</p><p>‘I’ll start fifth grade. You?’</p><p>‘I’m starting high school this year.’</p><p>Frank suddenly felt cool that he was making friends with a high schooler. But then, his mom called him, and he followed her outside and to the car.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>Winter 1995</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Gerard was home for the holidays.</p><p>He had just started college, and though he enjoyed hanging out with other nerds, it was nice to be home and have actual food for once.</p><p>And his bed.</p><p>And to hang out with Mikey and talk about music and comic books.</p><p>Though he sometimes missed going out to a park in New York by himself and draw. It was his way to cope with everything. So while everyone was watching TV or playing video games, he grabbed his sketchbook and his pencils, and would walk to the nearest park or take the bus to the museum and walk around downtown until he found some cheap café to sit and draw.</p><p>He wasn’t the kind of artist who did landscapes and that kind of stuff. It was usually ideas that would spark something in him. He drew a duck that was just chilling. And an imaginary band playing on the gazebo.</p><p>The next day he went to the mall to get a new sketchbook, and then sat on a bench outside and just drew whatever he saw. People walking by. Cars. A dog.</p><p>‘You’re good, dude!’</p><p>Gerard looked to his right and saw a kid, probably around Mikey’s age, sitting there. He though he looked familiar, but he doubted it. ‘Thank you.’</p><p>‘I’m serious! You should do this for a living!’</p><p>Gerard laughed. ‘I go to art school, actually.’</p><p>‘That’s so cool!’ The boy kept looking at Gerard sketching, and told him he was just waiting for him mom to pick him up.</p><p>‘It’s okay.’ He kept drawing and told him he wanted to be a comic book artist, and that he lived in New York.</p><p>Ten minutes later, when the boy’s mom came to pick him up, Gerard tore one of the pages from his sketchbook and gave to him. ‘In case I ever become a famous comic book artist, you can sell this.’</p><p>‘I will.’</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>Spring 1999</em>
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</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Frank was about to graduate high school.</p><p>And even though he got a full ride scholarship to Rutgers, he still dreamed about dedicating his life to music.</p><p>He had a band with a couple of his friends. Hambone and his older band had graduated a couple years ago, and were focused on school, so he had to find other bands.</p><p>And once in a while, he’d go with his dad and be his personal roadie when he had a show. This particularly Saturday, they were playing at a jazz bar in New York City, and Frank wasn’t really allowed <em>in </em>the bar, being only seventeen, so he just helped his dad to set up his drums, and went outside.</p><p>He told his dad he’d be in the van, doing homework, but he was actually smoking in the back alley.</p><p>And when he got bored, he walked to a nearby bodega and bought some chips. He overheard a group of people saying they were heading to a party, and they were buying booze. So he followed them a couple blocks, and ended up in someone’s basement. No one even asked him who he was or what he was doing there. But he was now in what looked like a college party.</p><p>That’s when he saw the prettiest girl he’d ever seen.</p><p>She was wearing a jean skit over tights, and an oversized hoodie, but she looked like Christina Riccie, and Frank knew he would never stop thinking about her.</p><p>It was love at first sight.</p><p>He’d write songs about her for the rest of his life.</p><p>He wanted to go and talk to her, but he suddenly got shy, and he knew she was out of his league. He couldn’t understand why no one was paying attention to her. She was so fucking beautiful.</p><p>And then, she noticed him looking at her, and she started blushing, hiding her face with both her hands. Shit, Frank had made her uncomfortable.</p><p>He had to leave. He ran outside, and smoked, just trying to calm down for a bit before going back to the bar to wait for his dad.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u">
    <em>Fall 2000</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>It was another Eyeball party.</p><p>Pencey Prep was invited, and as usual, Frank was smoking a joint with Hambone and Shaun in the middle of the living room.</p><p>The place was crowded, and Frank didn’t know half of those people. They were probably there just to be with one of the big bands. Not that Frank cared. He was too baked for that.</p><p>Then Mikey Way, the intern kid, approached them. He liked Mikey Way. He was cool. And he was telling him something about his famous brother. He was always going on about his brother who was an art major, and was interning in Cartoon Network. But no one knew said brother.</p><p>Until now.</p><p>He had finally convinced him to get out of the basement and join him.</p><p>When the pale guy with the spiky hair waved at them, Frank couldn’t hear anything else.</p><p>He was probably high as fuck, but he knew it was love at first sight.</p><p>Though he was sure they had met before somewhere, so maybe it wasn’t technically <em>first sight. </em>But it was love.</p><p>His heart was beating like crazy and he was sweating, and he was short of breath.</p><p>‘This is my brother Gerard,’ Mikey said.</p><p><em>Gerard, my future husband, </em>Frank thought.</p><p>Five minutes later, they were making out in the bathroom, and Frank was thinking about getting a tattoo with his name as Gerard pinned him to the wall and took off his shirt.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. Jet Black New Year</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>bullets Gerard and Frank</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Frank’s year sucked ass.</p><p>He broke up with his longtime girlfriend, and then dropped out of college to go on tour with his band, only for said band to break up a week later. Then, when there was nothing else to hang on to, he tried to off himself.</p><p>And as much as his mom and his friends told him he’d get better and that he had a whole life ahead of him, he didn’t see the point, and life was just miserable.</p><p>And to make things worse, he was out of weed.</p><p>‘C’mon, Frankie boy,’ Geoff said when he found him spaced out on the couch of the rehearsal room, and petted his shaved head. ‘Everything okay?’</p><p>‘Huh?’ When Frank looked up, his friend noticed his eyes were dilated.</p><p>‘What the heck did you take, Frank?’</p><p>‘Nothing. Just my happy pills. Can’t you see how happy I am?’ He faked a smile but it wasn’t enough for his friend.</p><p>‘Aren’t you coming to the party?’</p><p>‘I’m not really in the mood, and it’s not like you’re gonna miss me. I’m just not –’</p><p>‘Okay, first of all, stop saying that. I want you there. I’m sure Hambone wants you there. And Mikey and Tucker. We all want you there.’</p><p>Frank just faked a tiny smile and took a drag from his cigarette, hoping Geoff didn’t see him tearing up. ‘I just – I don’t know why am even alive, you know? Technically, I should be dead.’</p><p>‘Frank, stop.’</p><p>‘I’m just – trying to figure out why the hell am I doing here?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. But you just weren’t meant to die. Maybe that band didn’t work out, but you’ll find another one, and you’ll save someone’s life with your songs. But you won’t know unless you try.’</p><p>It took him another ten minutes to convince him to go with him, and only under the condition that Frank could take his dog home for a couple days. ‘Whatever makes you happy, Frankie.’ They got in Geoff’s car and he showed Frank the demos of his band’s new album, while they talked about their holiday at home. Geoff said he was happy to be home for a while and to see his mom and siblings. And Frank said it was depressing as fuck and that his dad was babying him the whole time as if he was fragile, while his mom barely acknowledged his existence. ‘You know what?’ Geoff said as they were parking outside the house. ‘When I go back on tour, you can take care of my dog. I’m sure you can both use some company.’</p><p>‘Aww, you are the best, you know?’ Frank said, already smiling and throwing himself at Geoff to give him a kiss on the cheek as they were making their way to the house.</p><p>They quickly found Hambone and Shaun on the couch, talking to some girls, and when they saw Frank, they celebrated as if their favorite team had won a championship, hugging him and offering him alcohol, while Geoff walked straight to the kitchen.</p><p>‘Feeling better?’ Hambone asked him and wrapped his arm around his shoulders.</p><p>‘Meh.’</p><p>‘What about some beers?’</p><p>‘I’m okay with that.’ He wasn’t supposed to drink but it was New Year’s Eve, and he was hanging out with his friends. He deserved some time off.</p><p>He just wanted not to think for one fucking second. That was all he needed.</p><p>He sat with them, and they kept offering drinks while they talked about possibly starting a band, and that Frank had to join them. It seemed like a tiny spark of hope after the worst year of his life, but it was something.</p><p>While they rolled a joint, Frank mentioned having a whole notebook of lyrics and poetry, and that he had some songs, so they could start working on something. ‘I’m just happy you’re alive, man,’ Shaun told him. And he wanted to believe it. He knew all these people really cared about him, but he just didn’t know if that was enough.</p><p>His friends had gotten up to get another drink, so he went outside for a cigarette. He sat by the side of the house, just behind the bushes and the fence, and far away from everyone else. He just needed some quiet.  </p><p>Which was obviously interrupted a minute later a drunk guy fell down right next to where he was sitting, half unconscious.</p><p>‘Shit,’ Frank almost yelled, caught by surprise. He was not in the mood for this. He tried to wake him up with his foot, pushing him, but he wouldn’t react. ‘Hey, dude. You need me to call someone?’</p><p>‘No, please –,’ the stranger mumbled behind his tangled jet black hair. ‘Don’t tell anyone.’</p><p>And Frank hated having to, but he knew he had no choice but to help him. ‘You need help?’</p><p>‘I’m fine.’</p><p>‘Yeah, right,’ Frank said with the cigarette between his lips as he tried to help him get up. The guy had trouble with his balance, and he was clearly on something. ‘What the hell did you take?’</p><p>‘Nothing. A pill, maybe. Maybe a lot.’ And then, he was laughing his ass off. ‘Look, man. I’m just – I appreciate the help, but I’m fine. I just had the worst year, and I’m trying to just forget about everything, okay?’</p><p>‘Trust me, I get you. More than you think.’</p><p>‘Really? I’m sorry, man. It sucks. And everyone is trying to be all positive about the new year, as if it’s actually going to be better, but I just know it’s going to fucking suck!’</p><p>Frank laughed. Who was this guy and why he understood him so well? ‘I know, right? Like I’ll still want to die next year. And just because it’s a different year doesn’t mean my luck will change.’</p><p>‘Exactly!’ Frank could see the guy was smiling too, even though it was probably because he was high as fuck. ‘Honestly, the only way my luck could get better is if I just die.’</p><p>Frank just laughed hysterically. ‘Ugh, same!’</p><p>‘Frankie!’ Geoff approached them out of nowhere. ‘I thought you’d left for a second.’ He then noticed the half-dead looking guy to his right. ‘Oh, I see you’ve met Gerard. He’s Mikey’s brother.’ Gerard managed a half-assed wave. ‘Gerard, this is Frank. He plays with us sometimes.’ Frank and Geoff shared a look, causing Frank to blush, knowing what his friend meant by that. He just shook his head, hoping Gerard didn’t notice. ‘Well, I’m glad you guys met. I’ll go back inside.’</p><p>‘No, wait,’ Frank tried to say but Geoff was already gone.</p><p>They didn’t say anything for a while, and Gerard just let his ass fall on the bit of grass next to Frank, and just lay there. Not sure what to do, Frank joined him a second later, looking up at the sky. ‘Can I have a cigarette?’  </p><p>‘This is my last one,’ Frank said and handed it to him.</p><p>He didn’t even think about it and just took a drag. ‘My brother thinks I have a drinking problem. But he doesn’t see alcohol is the least of my problems.’ Frank couldn’t stop looking at him. He had never related to someone so much. Everyone tried to make him feel like he was wrong for being so miserable, like he should pretend to be happy. But this guy was so sad and bitter and he felt like he could be himself for once. ‘I’m a big, fucking failure. I made my parents spend all his savings to send me to art school, and then I fucking blew it and I’m a useless cashier at McDonald’s because I can’t get a job as an artist. Then this guy I really liked just made me feel like he liked me too, and then just ignored me. I haven’t really been in a relationship and I’m twenty-eight. And then, my grandma died last month, and it was too much, you know?’</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ Frank said, not sure why. He wished he could help in some way. He didn’t know why. He didn’t even know him.</p><p>‘I just, I don’t know, why I’m even here, you know? I’m just a big waste of space and I never do anything right. So, what’s the point?’</p><p>And then, Frank just started sobbing. He didn’t know why, but what he said just made him feel everything all at once. He’d been trying not to cry all day, but now it went all to shit.</p><p>‘I’m sorry,’ the dark haired guy said. ‘Did I say something?’</p><p>‘No, I just – I’ve been having a rough day.’</p><p>‘You want a happy pill?’</p><p>‘I took a couple earlier. Still didn’t work.’ There was a long silence, and Frank felt the other guy’s hand taking his and holding it tight. And for some reason, he appreciated. It felt like he was holding all his pieces together so he wouldn’t crumble. ‘I tried to kill myself a couple months ago,’ he said. ‘For some reason, I survived, but I still feel dead inside, you know? Even with my friends and my family, I feel like a ghost. Nothing matters anymore. I can’t play music, I can’t feel anything. And it just hurts too much. And sometimes, all I can think about is blowing my brains.’</p><p>‘Life sucks, man.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ He took a breath and closed his eyes. ‘I just want everything to stop for a second.’</p><p>‘We can try that.’ Frank didn’t know why his voice sounded so soothing , but it felt nice. They stayed silent for a while, taking deep breathes and holding each other’s hands as if there was no one else in the entire world. The sound of people talking far away was all they could hear, followed by fireworks in the distance.</p><p>‘Tell me it’s not midnight yet,’ Frank said, breaking the silence.</p><p>‘I don’t think so. But that has never stopped anyone. They’re just excited.’</p><p>‘About?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. Maybe they’re not as miserable as we are. Or they just like to pretend they’re not and keep their hopes high, knowing well they’ll be disappointed later.’</p><p>Frank laughed at that. He was right.</p><p>‘I’ve been depressed my whole life,’ Gerard continued. ‘And I’m just tired of pretending. So from now on, I’ll be a fucking bitch.’ Frank laughed. ‘Everyone always tells me to think happy, and that everything will get better. That it’s all in my head. Guess what, idiot? It is! That’s why it’s called a mental illness!’</p><p>‘Think happy thoughts, Gerard,’ Frank said in a sarcastic tone. ‘Maybe this year will be our year.’</p><p>They both started to laugh their heads off. ‘You think so? You think this is the year when I finally succeed, Frankie?’</p><p>‘Absolutely!’</p><p>‘You too, Frank. Think happy thoughts, and you’ll be alright.’ Frank knew it was supposed to be a joke, but he still closed his eyes and tried to imagine being happy. <em>Think happy thoughts, </em>he repeated to himself. And for some reason, Gerard was there. Making him laugh and holding his hand. And it felt good.</p><p>He opened his eyes and looked at him. He was cute. Despite looking sad and fucked up, he was absolutely beautiful. And his voice was calming, and he could hear him talk all day. And he understood Frank.</p><p>What if –</p><p>‘Let’s go,’ Gerard interrupted his thoughts, getting up and pulling him by the arm until they were inside in the safety of the kitchen. Frank just looked at him opening the fridge as if it was his own house, and took out a couple beers, and stole a cigarette from someone’s back pocket. They sat on a windowsill and shared the cigarette. The music was too loud, and they had to yell so the other one could hear. ‘Fuck, I have to work tomorrow!’ Gerard said, and Frank just started giggling while Gerard told him about his asshole boss. ‘And I have to pretend to be nice, you know? While all these stupid idiots don’t even know the different between a BigMac and the chicken nuggets! You know how many times I have to control myself not to call them names?’</p><p>Frank hadn’t laughed this much in ages.</p><p>‘You want to rant about your job?’ Gerard asked.</p><p>‘I would if I had one. After what –’</p><p>‘You should come work with me. It’s the most fun place in the world and you get paid well.’ Frank laughed hysterically, though he wouldn’t mind working with him.</p><p>‘Ten minutes left!’ someone yelled from the living room, and they all cheered as if things were really about to change in ten minutes.</p><p>‘This year will be better than the last,’ Gerard said and they toasted with their beers.</p><p>‘It will be.’ Frank knew it’d still suck, but if Gerard stayed in his life, maybe there was hope for it to be a little better. In the meantime, they made up stories about everyone at the party. Who had fucked who, what kind of drugs they were doing, who wanted to be a dancer.</p><p>‘One minute!’ another person yelled.</p><p>‘So this is it, huh?’ Gerard mentioned. ‘The last minute of the year.’ They got up from, and raised their beers to each other. ‘To a year of happiness for you.’ Frank knew he meant that, and it was all needed.</p><p>‘And all the success in the world for you.’</p><p>
  <em>Ten.</em>
</p><p>They stared at each other, nervous and giggling.</p><p>
  <em>Nine.</em>
</p><p>Frank looked at his sad eyes and drowned in their sadness.</p><p>
  <em>Eight.</em>
</p><p>No one else existed in the room, just the two of them.</p><p> <em>Seven.</em></p><p>
  <em>Six.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Five. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Four.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Three. </em>
</p><p>They could hear everyone cheering around them.</p><p> <em>Two.</em></p><p>Frank looked at Gerard as if there was no one else in the world, and he knew exactly what he needed.</p><p> <em>One.</em></p><p><em>‘</em>Happy new year!’</p><p>They both leaned in, meeting each other in the middle, their lips against each other. Frank’s arms went around Gerard’s neck, as his tongue slipped in, and he could feel Gerard’s hands on the sides of his stomach, holding tight to his shirt, not letting go.</p><p>The kiss went on for a while, longer than a usual New Year’s Eve kiss, but it didn’t matter. They could be kissing all night. That was all Frank wanted. To lose himself in Gerard’s lips and his hands, pulling from his greasy hair as the kiss deepened.</p><p>‘Happy New Year,’ he said once they pulled apart.</p><p>‘Happy New Year, Frankie.’ They smiled at each other, drunk in happiness, which was new to both of them. ‘I promise I’ll do my best to make this year better, okay?’</p><p>Frank just nodded and wrapped his arms around him. He tried not to cry, and just let out a loud sigh, feeling like he could breathe again now that there was someone to hold him.</p><p>‘I want you here, okay?’ Gerard said.</p><p>‘Okay.’ They hugged for the longest time, before going outside to watch the fireworks, with Gerard’s arm around him. <em>Think happy thought, Frank. Think happy thoughts.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Happy New Year, everyone! Thanks for reading &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. They Had Football Practice Before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*based on Frank's interview for his AP issue where he talks about fanfiction "becoming true or the folklore of the band" lol</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was just another day in New Jersey. Frank had just come back from walking Lois and Soup in the middle of a snowstorm. The kids were playing video games, so he made himself some coffee and checked twitter while it finished brewing.</p>
<p>He started scrolling down his mentions, and decided he’d make someone’s day by liking or replying to their tweet. He saw some great artworks and shared one of him with his new hairtcut, and added his famous <em>rad </em>caption, and just then, he saw another tweet by @frnkandgeeforever. <em>Can you explain, @FrankIero?, </em>it read, followed by a picture of Frank wearing shorty shorts and a helmet during a 2008 concert, while Gerard wore a letterman man jacket, making them both look like jocks.</p>
<p>And Frank really thought about giving them a snarky reply, something he would usually say. But instead, chose not to.</p>
<p>Some memories were just too precious.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>It had been a long tour already, and they just needed some time off. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So when they heard they didn’t have any interviews that day, and they only had to show up for the performance at the end of the day, they tried to make the most of it. Ray was already running to the back of the bus to play videogames, and Bob accepted to play with him only because Ray offered to get pizza. Mikey just wanted to nap, and threatened everyone to beat the hell out of them if they woke him up before eight p.m. so they left him alone, and Frank locked himself in the bathroom to call Jamia, who promised to fly over the weekend to meet with him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Then, he had a few hours left to kill, and nothing to do. He was expecting to ask Mikey if he wanted to go to a record store or something, he was asleep, and Gerard was somewhere else, probably working on something for Umbrella Academy, and his other best friend was playing with Ray, he just lay in the couch and played on his phone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Out of nowhere the door to the bus opened, and Gerard came in, drinking an iced coffee from Starbucks. ‘Where’s Mikey?’ he asked. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Asleep,’ Frank replied, not looking up from his phone.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Fuck. Then, you come with me.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Where?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I don’t know. I’m bored and I drank all this coffee trying to finish the last issue of Umbrella. So now I have a lot of energy.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>For a moment, Frank thought that meant they were going to – </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You wanna play football with Worm and Dewees?’ the black haired man asked. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Football?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Yeah. They invited me to play with them on my way here and I told them I’d find someone else.’ And he couldn’t say no to Gerard. even though he didn’t quite know the rules, and other than enjoying watching football with his grandpa sometimes, it wasn’t really his thing. But if Gerard asked, he’d play.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Worm and Dewees explained the rules to them, since Gerard seemed clueless too, and they separated in two teams. Dewees with Frank, and Worm with Gerard. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And while the roadie and the keyboard player were too into the game, Frank and Gerard were having too much fun tackling each other, and even wore letterman jackets that they found in the lockers of the venue, just for the theatrics. Then, Gerard put a helmet on Frank’s head to protect him from everything, and Frank smiled at the gesture.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He would never not melt when Gerard did these things. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And he was all mesmerized by his donkey laugh, that he didn’t see the ball coming and landing in his head. That, and the fact that he was unbalanced staring at Gerard, sent him to the floor, and he was lucky to be wearing a helmet.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Frankie!’ Gee yelled and ran to check on him.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And when the tattooed man opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the lead singer’s green eyes and tiny teeth smile. ‘Hi,’ he said.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You okay?’ </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Now I am.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>With the help of Worm, they took him back to the bus, where they checked for a concussion, and Frank assured them he was fine. ‘Thanks to the helmet,’ he said, smiling at Gerard.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Still, they made sure he stayed where he was, and Gerard and Bob spoiled him with snacks.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘You sure you’re okay to go onstage?’ Ray kept asking, and every time, Frank told him he was, putting the helmet back on and following the rest inside the venue. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>They all changed into their stage clothes, but Frank kept the helmet and jacket on. And when Gerard asked him what was he doing, he just laughed. ‘You know how I used to hate football players back in high school? They always made fun of me because they were double my size and locked me in lockers?’ Gerard nodded. ‘I just think it’s funny because now they’re working at McDonald’s and I’m the one about to play in front of a stage.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Look at you, Frankie. So proud of you.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He couldn’t help blushing. ‘Wouldn’t it be funny if we go out there dressed up as jocks?’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>So Gerard put the jacket back on, and walked behind the rest of the band, ready to play a show for all of the underdogs. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Halfway through the show, a couple guys started fighting in the audience, and Frank noticed. He had no idea what had started the fight, but they were big and buff. The reason was probably very heterosexual and toxic, Frank thought. So what better to piss them off, as well as all the jocks who ever made fun of him, than to kiss the homie?</em>
</p>
<p><em>Without thinking twice, Frank walked up to where Gerard was, and kissed him. Frenched him on the mouth, in the middle of </em>Prison, <em>because doing it during their most homosexual song just gave it extra flavor. </em></p>
<p>
  <em>Just to piss off the tough guys, nothing else.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But it was damned good.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And afterwards, Frank somehow had more energy than ever, and he was happy for the first time in who knows how long. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>What he didn’t expect was that as soon they got off stage, Gerard dragged him to the side and kissed him again. Frank was confused at first, but he just let it happen. He wasn’t going to say no to him, and it wasn’t like they hadn’t kissed before. Especially when drunk. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But this was different.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Frank pulled away for a second, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and looked up at Gerard for affirmation. ‘Just trying to piss off the homophobes.’</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Sure,’ Frank replied, and kept kissing him, his hands going up his back. He was still straight, right? Even if he kissed his best friend, and kinda had feelings for him. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Maybe they could find out by making out in the lockers, which was where they were heading to. Frank didn’t know but he was willing to try.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>thanks for reading! I would appreciate the feedback, and if you like this, maybe you could read one of my fics?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. The Portal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>‘So – you’re home for a while?’ Frank asked Mikey as they parked the car outside the store.</p><p>‘Yeah. The plan was just for the holidays, to be with the folks, but the girls are really enjoying spending time with their grandparents, and Kristin can work from home, so we’re just staying a little longer.’</p><p>‘That’s nice. We should hang out more.’</p><p>‘Yeah.’ They got out of the car, and walked in, grabbing a cart.</p><p>‘So – how is he?’ Frank asked out of nowhere. Mikey shot him a look, knowing that was the reason he wanted to hang out so bad.</p><p>‘Frank, you know you can call him, right? Just like I do. The fact that we’re related doesn’t make me his messenger. We don’t live in the same state anymore.’ The younger man didn’t say anything, and kept grabbing snacks. ‘Are you two fighting again?’</p><p>‘No.’ He then turned to Mikey. ‘I just don’t know what to say.’</p><p>‘What about, <em>I miss you? I wish there wasn’t a fucking pandemic so we could be on tour right now? I’ve been thinking about you?’</em></p><p>‘Who do you think I am?’</p><p>Mikey gave him the Mikeyway stare. ‘The guy who’s been in love with my brother for twenty years but who’s too stupid to admit it until it’s too late.’</p><p>‘Ouch. That hurt, Mikeyway.’</p><p>‘More than when my brother got married and you cried for weeks?’</p><p>‘Ouch!’</p><p>‘Fine. I’m trying to help you. I don’t know what to say, I already know more than I want and I’m not sure what exactly you want.’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I just wish it was easier, you know – that we could be together and we didn’t have to hide.’</p><p>‘Would you have done something differently?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. Maybe.’ They walked by the men’s clothes section, and Frank got socks, and then went through the sweatpants stack. ‘They have pockets!’ he yelped, excited, and his friend just laughed at how he was still the same Frankie he met twenty years ago.</p><p>He would definitely prefer to have him as brother in law, instead of her. They were already best friends, almost brothers. And he wished he could have done something, but he knew how stubborn Gerard was. Even if he had toured with them during Projekt Revolution, Gerard would have still go out with her, and probably marry her.</p><p>But he still wished there was a way he could help them be together.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was weird to stay at his childhood room, but it would only be for another week or two. Mikey just wanted to spend some time in Jersey with his parents, and now Frank had convinced him to do a collab on a song, so he’d go back once they finished recording.</p><p>When he arrived, his kids were in the living room playing dolls in front of the TV, and it brought him so many memories of him and Gerard growing up in that house, glad his daughters could have the same experience.</p><p>‘How was it?’ Kristin asked once he found her in the kitchen, making dinner with his mom. He could get used to this.</p><p>‘Great. We went to get some gear, and he needed to buy some stuff.’</p><p>Staying at his parents’ house felt like a time capsule. He felt like the same kid who wouldn’t go out much and spent his forming years reading comic books in that same kitchen, and the one who once walked out to go on tour with his friends and never came back. The only difference was that he was now a husband and a father, and he was actually happy. But it felt so natural to be there.</p><p>After dinner, he took the girls to bed, and then decided to go downstairs to what used to bed Gerard’s basement room. He hadn’t lived there in almost fifteen years, but their mom had kept it clean, and nothing had changed. The action figures were in the same spot, his art supplies, and the comic book collection. He went through it, reading one by one before he fell asleep in Gerard’s old bed.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He had no idea how long he had been asleep, but it felt like ages.</p><p>When he went upstairs, the first thing he noticed was daylight. Sun rays coming through the window and bathing the entire kitchen with their light. Shit, he had slept through the night. He felt awful knowing he left his wife alone upstairs in his room with the girls while he slept like a log in his brother’s old bedroom.</p><p>And before he could go check on them, he run into his mom as she came in the kitchen. ‘Good morning, honey.’</p><p>He mumbled something that could have been good morning, but no one really knew, and kept going. To his surprise, when he opened the door to his room, it was empty. No Kristin, no girls. ‘Mom, where’s Kristin?’ he yelled from upstairs.</p><p>‘Who?’</p><p>Shit. Had she gone somewhere without telling him? Was it that late? Why take the girls out in this cold? He had no idea, but he put on a coat and went outside. He thought that maybe she could be at the park a couple blocks away, next to the school, playing with the girls, so he walked there. And apparently, it was <em>too </em>late since the kids were already out of school and gathering around the building in groups.</p><p>When he walked by some kids standing in the sidewalk, joking around, he heard one of them talking. ‘Dude! My mom is so going to kill me if I come home smelling like an ashtray!’ The voice sounded strangely familiar, which was weird because he didn’t know any teenaged boys. But when he looked to where the voice was coming from, he was even more surprised.</p><p>‘Frankie?’ Mikey was sure it was his best friend. He was still short as fuck. But this version was younger. Like a lot younger. He had no tattoos, and had a bowl cut, and was wearing his catholic school uniform a size too big. But he responded to the name, and now he was even more convinced it was the actual Frank Iero, just his teenage version.</p><p>‘Who the fuck are you?’ the kid said.</p><p>‘Mikey.’</p><p>‘Am I supposed to know you?’</p><p>Just then, one of the other kids came to Frank rescue, and Mikey knew him too. Hambone. ‘Who is he? Are you talking to strangers on the internet again, Frankie?’</p><p>‘I don’t know who he is! He’s a freak!’</p><p>Mikey almost greeted Hambone, but he knew it’d be too weird. ‘Wait – what year is it?’</p><p>‘Are you dumb, man?’ Frank said. ‘Are you on drugs?’</p><p>The other kids laughed, and one of them said, ‘Maybe we should stop smoking or we’ll end up like him.’</p><p>‘Yes, I’m lost, and you should stop smoking. But what year is it?’</p><p>‘Nineteen ninety-six.’</p><p>‘What?’ Mikey almost fainted.  He had no idea what had happened or how the hell he traveled back in time, but he was back in 1996, talking to young Frank. ‘Shit! We were just in Target yesterday, and you were buying sweatpants and getting really excited because they had pockets –’</p><p>‘What the fuck is a Target?’ Frank said, almost choking, and then laughed.</p><p>‘Forget it.’ He had no idea why he was back in time, if there was a purpose. Was he supposed to change something? The only thing he could think of was the conversation he had with present day Frank about Gerard, and whether he’d do things differently. What if that was the reason he was here, to help Frank do something? But was it allowed? All he knew about time travel was that he couldn’t change things in the past or there would be consequences.  </p><p>But then, what was the point?</p><p>In any case, he doubted he should tell <em>this </em>Frank to go for his brother. He didn’t want to out the kid in front of his friends, and it’d just freak him out to mention someone he didn’t even know yet.</p><p>So, he just ran back to his house. ‘Freak!’ he heard young Frank yell at him.</p><p>Back in Gerard’s room, he looked around. Was it like a time portal? Or was he dreaming? Because it felt too real. He lay in bed again, trying to wake up back in reality with his wife and kids. He closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep but he was too anxious and kept wondering if it was real, and twenty minutes later, he gave up.</p><p>He stayed there, not getting up from bed, still hoping it was all a dream and he could wake up at any minute.</p><p>Just then, he heard his mom yelling. ‘Honey, let’s go! We’ll be late to the boys’ show!’</p><p>Confused, not sure if he was still in 1996 or back in 2021, he got up and went upstairs. He found his mom looking through her purse for some cigarettes and she looked at him as soon as he came out of Gerard’s room. ‘What were you doing in your brother’s room? Wait – where are your glasses, Michael?’</p><p>‘I –’ He didn’t have time to explain it was future Mikey and that he didn’t use them anymore, but her mom cut him off.</p><p>‘I thought you were with Gerard already. You’re supposed to play with them tonight, aren’t you? You’ll be late.’</p><p>‘What year is it?’</p><p>‘Are you doing that stuff again?’</p><p>‘No, mom! I’m just – I slept in and had a weird dream, just wanna be sure this is real.’</p><p>‘Honey! It’s 2007.’</p><p>Shit. That year. Prokekt Revolution. They played New Jersey by the end of tour, and after taking the whole tour off, Mikey played with them that day.</p><p>A week before his brother got married.</p><p>This is what he was supposed to do.</p><p>‘Gotta go,’ he said and ran out, and took a taxi to the venue.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>It wasn’t until he got there that he realized how difficult it’d be to get in the venue. As much as he was Mikeyway, he didn’t have a lanyard so security wouldn’t let him in, and he’d have to convince his bandmates to do it, but they’d notice the fact that he looked older and so not 2007 Mikey.</p><p>So he considered jumping the fence.</p><p>Except there was security everywhere.</p><p>So he had to buy a ticket like everyone else, and look for the guys.</p><p>He was wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses, hoping no one would recognize him, sitting near the exit to where all the buses were, waiting for someone to come out. He saw Bob, but that was the last person he’d talk to. And after the longest time, he saw Frank. ‘Yo, Frank!’</p><p>When the young guitarist turned to him, he gave him a confused look. ‘Mikey? I just saw you in the bus?’</p><p>‘Yes – no,’ he whispered. ‘Can we talk somewhere else?’</p><p>He knew Frank would say yes, so they went behind the stage, to a corner that no one could see, between some trucks and boxes. ‘What is it, and why you look like this? It’s tripping me out!’</p><p>‘Okay – I’ll tell you, but I know you won’t believe me.’</p><p>‘Just say it.’</p><p>‘Fine. I’m from the future.’</p><p>And just like he expected, Frank laughed at him hysterically.</p><p>‘I wouldn’t believe it myself, and I’m probably dreaming, so whatever. All I’m saying is, I know you love my brother, and to be honest, I’d rather him be with you than anyone else.’</p><p>‘I don’t –’</p><p>‘Shush! It’s not like no one knows. It’s better to admit it and that you guys are happy than regret it in fifteen years.’</p><p>‘I don’t believe you.’</p><p>‘Whatever. I’m just saying – in a week, they’re going to get married.’</p><p>‘What?! They’ve been going out for a month? Why would he do that? He’s not that stupid!’</p><p>Mikey just laughed. ‘Fine. Just don’t say I didn’t tell you so, you’ll regret not telling Gerard how you really feel.’</p><p>‘Why am I the one who has to say it?’</p><p>‘You know how proud he is.’ He paused, and started to leave. ‘I just want to help you guys. In the future, I know you’re happy with Jam, but I’ve seen you crying for my brother millions of times, and him crying about you. Somehow I ended up here, and I thought I had to help in some way. So, it’s up to you. But I want you both to be happy.’</p><p>Frank didn’t know if he should believe him, or what he was talking about. Mikey from the future, yeah right. Maybe all his pills were making him delirious now.</p><p>But what if that little voice in his head that looked and sounded too much like Mikey was right and he should try to tell Gerard how he felt.</p><p>So, that night on stage, he couldn’t help it and in the middle of <em>Prison,</em> he went and kissed Gerard, right there in front of everyone, their parents, Jamia, Mikey and Lindsey. He didn’t care that three days before Gerard threw him to the floor for trying, he just had to. And maybe Gerard was in the mood too, who knew, but he kissed him back. And as soon as they pulled apart, Frank whispered <em>I love you </em>in his ear and kept playing.</p><p>Later, when the set was over, Gerard pulled him to the locker rooms nearby, and pushed him to the wall to kiss him, lick all his sweat and touch every inch of skin. ‘What are you trying to do, Frankie?’ he asked between moans. ‘Why are you doing this?’</p><p>‘Because I love you.’</p><p>The older man didn’t say anything and kept kissing him, owning him. He jerked him off, fucked him and used him just like Frank liked it, and once they collapsed on the floor, having come, Gerard pulled him closer and told him he loved him.</p><p>‘Please, don’t marry her,’ Frank whispered.</p><p>‘What are you talking about?’</p><p>‘Just – don’t marry her, okay? I don’t know how we’ll do it, but we’ll be together –’</p><p>Gerard interrupted his rant by kissing him, and they just stayed like that for a while.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In the meantime, Mikey was running back home, straight to Gerard’s room.</p><p>He didn’t know if it was a dream all along, but he got under the covers and tried to get some sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>He opened his eyes, feeling rested.</p><p>It felt like he had slept for ages, and he didn’t know who he was anymore.</p><p>When he walked back upstairs, his mom was cooking breakfast while Rowan and Kennedy were playing with his dad, and Kristin drank coffee, talking to Donna.</p><p>Huh, he thought. So nothing changed and it was all a weird dream.</p><p>‘Good morning, honey,’ his wife said, and went to greet him with a kiss. ‘Had a good night of sleep?’</p><p>‘I think so. Why didn’t you wake me up?’</p><p>‘I don’t know. I figured you missed the old days and I just let you.’ She pulled him to the table and served him coffee. ‘Oh, yeah – Frank called me to ask if you were going to his house to record? I told him you were still asleep, and he said he’d be waiting.’</p><p>‘Oh, yeah. I forgot for a second.’</p><p>After breakfast, he changed into normal clothes, and drove to Frank’s house. He couldn’t wait to tell him his weird dream and see him laugh at him.</p><p>He parked the car outside, and walked to the door. As soon as he rang the bell, he heard the dogs barking, and then there was Frank opening the door with his weird blond hair that Mikey still couldn’t get used to. ‘I was waiting for you all morning, dude!’</p><p>‘Sorry, I slept in.’</p><p>‘It’s fine, we can just get to it now. I had made breakfast but I ate it.’ They walk in the house, and Mikey found Lois sleeping on the carpet, so he went to pet her. ‘Honey!’ Frank yelled. ‘Your brother is here!’</p><p>‘Wait – Evan, too?’</p><p>‘Why would Evan be here?’ Frank asked, confused, and laughed at Mikey. And just then, he saw Gerard, his own brother, walking down the stairs, wearing his gray hoodie, sweatpants and sandals over socks coming down the stairs with a cup of tea, and walking up to Frank to kiss him.</p><p>‘Hey, Mikes. Frankie was about to throw a tantrum because you stood him up.’</p><p>‘No way,’ Mikey said.</p><p>Frank gave him a weird look, and then the younger Way looked around. There were no pictures of Frank and Jamia with the kids. Instead dozens of them of he and his brother together with two kids. ‘You two guys are married?’</p><p>‘What is wrong, Mikey?’ his brother asked. ‘You were there! You were my best man.’</p><p>‘You are not going to believe this.’ He tried to explain, but the couple just laughed at him.</p><p>‘I’ll be in my office. You guys have fun!’</p><p>‘C’mon, man,’ Frank said. ‘Let me show you what I did.’</p><p>But Mikey was still shocked that he had changed the timeline. He had fixed it.</p>
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